utopian disease

2004-05-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

ynoe i cant figure out if i've been rehired by FOTT or wot, man. they keep calling me back to do their bidding. which is a good thing, i spose, since im getting paid to do their bidding.

owell. money earned is a good thing, right?

anyways. i was out with the ol poly gang yesterday night. i was with Nadiah, rishi beardy, Naddy, Din abang, Chups and Elaine. we just mooched around and chilled out for a couple of hours. i love the ol gang :) however, the buggers had/wanted to go home early(like, at 11pm. thats pretty damn early, yo) so i called Chai up and asked him if we could meet up.

and so i ended up with Chai&co at Swing, which is this pub thats got a live band at cuppage. been there a few times before, its alright i spose. so anyways. we were all there to celebrate Eldon's birthday. well, everybody else was there to celebrate Eldon's birthday. i didnt know t'was Eldon's birthday til Chai told me. but t'was cool!! i later gave him a really really cool birthday present.. i'll tell you abt it soon.. *chuckle*

so yeahh. i was there with Chai, Eldon, Kensuke, Andre, Janice Goh, Priscilla, Glenn np, Mark, Sean, Ben, Neo, and these 2 other girls. i think their names're Jan(not to be confused with Janice Goh) and Chong Hui.

and Chai told me, "maddie, i like yer cross." coz i was wearing this ostentatious black jewelled cross around my neck. and Eldon said, "maddie, i like yer lace." coz i was wearing this clingy top that looked like lingerie and it had lace over the right boob. and then Chai and Eldon went like, "ooh.. maddie.. so sexy.." and im like, "shut up, fuck."

anyways. back to Swing. Andre was cool, he bought me my first bottle of beer for the night. thanks man, you rawwwkk. go go heineken! and Andre! he's a year younger than i am but he's so cute, i wish he was my lil bro. he's taller than me tho. then again, who isnt..? *grumble mutter mumble*

so yea. anyways. some of us played 5-10(my suggestion) and Janice Goh went all gungho, she said that the first time you get it right, the person on yer left drinks. which is what happens normally yea. however, if the person gets it right a 2nd time, the person on the left doesnt drink, the person has to choose either Truth or a Dare. and the third round, well, its just Dare.

and guess what? Janice Goh Pek Lin is sitting on my left.

and the whole night, only one person was made to choose either a Truth or a Dare. and it only happened once. and i got both rounds right. haha! so first round, Janice downed some Johnnie Walker straight(yea, everyone's gotta drink that during 5-10. i dont know who brought the unopened bottle down, but man, the entire bottle was gone by the end of the night). and the second round i got it right(no one else ever got a second round right.. i SO rock), she had to choose between a Truth or a Dare. and she chose a Dare.

so this is where Eldon's birthday present comes in. killing two birds with one stone, ynoe ynoe ;) lil ol efficient moi.

so for the Dare, i made Janice lick Eldon's year really seductively for 10seconds. pictures were taken, the moment was immortalised in film. yippee! happy birthday, Eldon. he liked my present, he told me he did.

and then of course i lost once at 5-10 and i had to drink the Johnnie Walker. it is bloody fire. but i got quite high la. luckily Andre had bought like 6 bottles of hoegarden(one of those bottles were for me) so i had smth to wash the black label down with.

anyways. most of us were in in this drunken crazy festive mood. t'was crazy, but t'was crazily fun.

lemme list down some of the stuff we did.
1)Eldon opened up the cgar one of the guys gave him and he smoked it. and he was like some giant pimp ynoe, with the swagger and the cigar in his mouth.

2)coz a live band plays at Swing, they asked if anybody was having their birthday there. and of course we all yelled, "Eldon!!" and Eldon waved his arms around like crazy. and they asked him up on stage, and asked him to sing a song. he didnt know what song to sing, the fella. but he picked a good song in the end, man. he sang No Woman No Cry by Bob Marley.

man.. the band played.. and Eldon sang.. and some of us at the table just stood up and SANG right along with him.. i was one of em. and we waved our arms.. and i took up a lighter and waved it along too.. and Glenn np took up the tealight thingy on the table and waved THAT.. man.. that was an awesome moment, man..

3)and most of us got really damn high as the night wore on. the waitress brought Eldon's birthday cake out, and we sang, and only a slice of cake was cut. the rest wasnt. i dont know who started flinging cake around, but i got it on my face and clothes and hair and back and jeans and even on my bloody jacket.

and i was so high i couldnt even clean myself up properly, Andre was cleaning Janice and me up. i mean, if i was sober i would've gotten pissed off to have cake on my face and all man. but i was high, and everything was just fucking funny, ynoe. i even found it amusing that i couldnt clean myself up properly.

i cleaned the cake off my face, and i thought i was done. and then Andre comes up to me and he's wiping me up and im like, "WHOAHH!! i NEVER knew there was cake THERE! or THERE! or THERE!!" but i said it all in my head la.

that was a great moment of self-discovery. almost felt like the moment Jesus was born.

4)i got really emo when i was high, and i went to take a piss, and alluva sudden i decided to call Donovan. and i was just being all fucking emo la.. *shudder* but yea. and i'd be talking to him in the loo, and Chai and Andre and whoever would be banging on the toilet door from time to time, yelling, "maddie! are you okay??" and i'd yell back, "im alright! fuck off!!" but they never did really properly piss off, coz they'd come back.

i love my concerned friends. they make sure i dont kill myself.. just kidding. i wouldnt kill myself ever. unless i got really really drunk one day and then i stumble onto a road and a lorry mows me down. but that wouldnt be me killing myself, that'd just be a tragic accident.

and not JUST tragic, it'd be bloody tragic thats wot it'd be, coz the world would never again have another Maddie like me, and then what would the world do, eh?

5)Chai toppled over alotta beer bottles the entire night. he spilled beer on Janice, too. i dont know, Chai was just super clumsy la.

6)and when i was high, i saw Janice gulping down the johnnie walker straight from the bottle as if t'was water. if i'd been sober i would've grabbed the bottle from her hands. however, i wasnt sober, i was inebriated. so iall i did was stare at her drinking and mumble to myself, "wah lau.. she's crazy.. she's damn crazy man.."

7)Janice and Glenn np ended up getting piss drunk and unconscious. both of em barfed up. and then Chai sent em back to his place so they could sleep. apparantly the both of em were really heavy. ah well. bloody deadweights, waddya expect, eh? ***

and after that, the bunch of us went to cine to catch Van Helsing at 4.15am. we met Soong and Eugenia, and only the both of em, Chai, Eldon, Andre, Pris, Kensuke and i caught the movie. the rest headed home.

and at cine, we saw Shawn there. Andre and i talked to him a lil, Andre more than i. they were both in the same year at barker and i dont know Shawn that well, after all. but the boy's lookin goooood!! *chuckle*

and we all kept bumping into Shawn at cine. i mean, its like 3+am at cine, there arent loads of people around ynoe? plus Shawn was wearing this long sleeved maroon shirt and you cant miss that shirt in a *not* crowd.

and coz i was still kinda high, i was doing stupid things la. like when the bunch of us were on the escalator up i spotted Shawn downstairs, and i yelled,"BYW SHAWN!" and then Andre would yell,"BYE SHAWN!"..and so the vicious cycle continues.

and i got a piggyback from Eldon outside cine, and Chai and Andre gave me a bloody wedgie. not that i was sober enough to give half a rat's arse abt it. i was juse a tad concerned that they'd over-stretch the elastic on my thong.

heyy, its a pretty thong, and i defend my pretty thongs with a vengeance(when im sober) alright.

Eldon had bought a 1 litre packet of orage huice with pulp and was drinking it straight outta the packet. i wanted some too, so i poured some into my mouth. i missed the 2nd time and got it on my neck and down my top. bloody hell. i had to go to the toilet and clean up best as i could but i still felt orangey sticky.

so yea. we caught Van Helsing, which is a pretty no-brainer show. but a good no-brainer show la. i quite fancied Dracula's three brides.

gorgeous, sexy, voluptuous, bloody evil and with the ability to fly.. what more could a girl want?

i started feeling kinda ill during the movie tho, and i kept fidgeting. my contacts were so damn dry, plus i was starting to have a splitting headache. but Andre, who was sitting beside me, was kind enough to offer me some of his water. thanks, dude. *grinz*

and t'was pretty cool. i quite felt like kate beckingsale in the movie. damn i forgot her character's name. but she was so cool. she had those spiky boots(which i've got) and she was also wearing this big black crucifix around her neck, like i was during the movie.

im cool!!

*cough* and after the movie, that was it. t'was 6.30am when the movie was over, and all of us were pretty damn tired. the bunch of us slinked outta cine.. and i saw Shawn outside again. Andre was talking to Shawn, and i said bye to em, and then i got into Chai's car. i would've gone home by myself but my headache was quite killing me. Andre wanted to gimme some cash to take a cab home coz he said that Chai was too tired to send me back but i didnt wanna take his money and besides, i knew that Chai could and would send me home coz chai's so damn nice. *grinz*

but really, i appreciated him sending me back la, i really did. he's a brudda for life, that fella. he's a real keeper.

i got back home, and i seriously thought i was gonna barf. i took a shit when i got back home, and my head hurt so i lay my head down and i nearly fell asleep. i soon realised that it'd be really gross to fall asleep in the loo with the smell of crap wafting in the air so i took my bath, lay down on my bed, and conked out from 8am til 1.30pm.

i even had cake in my hair from the cake-flinging at Swing but i was too damn shagged to wash it all out. t'was like gel, man. everyone had cake in their hair. blergh.

and thats abt it for the whole of saturday and half of sunday. saturday rawwwkkked my socks off.

and later, on sunday afternoon, i woke up, was a good girl, didnt go out with Donovan but stayed home with my mom instead, washed my hair and the cake outta it(finally), and did some chores before i went back to sleep and my mom went out with her friend for dinner. Happy Mothers' Day, y'all.

i love my friends, and i love my mommy too. *muacks*

2004-05-05T06:42:00.000+08:00

i've just completed Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code for the 2nd time this week. it took me 9 consecutive hours to complete the book the first time, i just couldnt put the book down. my eyes were completely fried by the time i was done with the book, man. t'was like 9am in the morning and i msged Erwin to tell him that i was done with it. he'd only lent me the book the day before.

it really was a fantastic read the first time round. Erwin was half-right, atheists would love the book. it seems to take a side that stands against christianity. i even caught myself laughing and giggling out loud while reading coz certain bits amused me so much. like the mischief Leonardo Da Vinci(who i thought was simply brilliant, wayy before even before reading the book) can get up to, or simply coz the book talks abt how flagrantly pagan christianity really is.(i quite love that take, really) at the end, tho, the author really takes quite a neutral stand, its simply the evidence that seems to make it appear as tho he doesnt.

this 2nd time round reading it, i could've taken a longer or shorter time to finish it, i dont know.. reading the book was just to kill time. like reading it during telly adverts. or now, when nobody's awake and im dead bored. t'was more of an idle read the 2nd time round, reading it without the zeal to reach the ending as quick as possible coz i already know the ending. so i read the book(coz there's nothing else in the house to read without feeling overly familiar with the material), and now that im done with it, i decided to come online.

*yawnn* this dreary routine.. if ONLY it had a soporific effect on me. but it doesnt. in fact, im bloody wide awake, godammit.

anyways. frankly, reading The da Vinci Code just reinforced my.. opinions.. on christianity. i wont really go there, coz i dont exactly want idiots picketing outside my hdb flat or stoning me to death. it can all get so primitive sometimes.

as i quote Leonardo Da Vinci, Grand Master of the Priory of Sion(dont ask), he said: "Many have made a trade of delusions and false miracles, deceiving the stupid multitude." he also said: "Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!"

..which was quite how i felt abt the followers of christianity. might i also stress that i am much of a pessimist, and that what i'd seen of so-called 'christians' further served to demonstrate to me how far off from the Lord they actually are. (most of) them show no sincerity, or genuine faith, in the religion. they're either selfish/greedy/annoying/pesky/boastful/(fill in the blanks with one or more chosen words) or all of the above, and blatantly went against the ways of the bible and the church, yet proudly called themselves christians over and over again.(by the way, i really wanna strangle these kinda people.. no bloody respect for their own religion, man) and those who show genuine faith display no understanding of why they even believe in the religion in the first place. i admit, and i know that i'll offend some people, such ignorance disgusted me.

how could one be happy NOT knowing? how could you have such faith in smth when you knew almost naught abt it? of course, there're all sorts of believers out there, and they all didnt impress me. these believers're like the faces of christianity, they represent the religion to me, and what i saw didnt reflect well on the religion at all.

lets not yet talk abt the opinions you have, hold yer tongue and outrage til im done, you impatient ones.(luckily for you impatience isnt a sin)

UNTIL monday, when i was out with Jon, Yong Lit and Chuan De.. my outlook on the religion has slightly altered coza the talk i had with Yong Lit.

see, in the past, whenever i expressed my vehemence abt how i couldnt stand that whole 'ignorance is bliss' crap that christians seemed to have abt their religion, or wadever else t'was that irked me abt the religion, at the end of it all, people would say to me:
(1)why bother? its their problem wad.
(2)there're questions out there that God leaves unanswered. trust me, maddie, i've got questions too.
(3)why get so worked up? its not good for you. eh what dya wanna have for lunch ah?
and the only answer that enraged, yet placated me, at the same time:
(4)christianity has done these people alot of good. if their faith does them good, and they're happy not knowing, yet live fulfilled lives. what's the problem here?

see. the problem now lies with ME. coz I'VE got a problem with it all. and the questions i had abt the attitude of christians still bugged me(along with other factors that bugged me), but i tried not to let it bother me or anything, coz i realised that i could get overly affected by the whole affair.(no shite)

so. i was getting to my point.

Yong Lit and i talked. abt christianity. and like i said, i asked the questions, he gave the answers. and for the first time(this guy knows his stuff, yo. three cheers for bible classes!), i felt like i was actually getting proper, sensible answers. answers that more than justified number(4), which was 'christianity has done these people alot of good. if their faith does them good, and they're happy not knowing, yet live fulfilled lives. what's the problem here?'.

this dude, used to be so anti-christianity he was practically satanic. i exaggerate, of course. but y'get what i mean. Yong Lit was seriously, majorly anti-christianity. next to him, i was nothing. not that im super duper anti-christianty, i've just got a slight problem with it. anyways. and now here he was, worshipping the floor the Holy Trinity walks on. 360 degree change, and totally weird. freaky. strange. unnatural, even.

but anyways. i'd known that he'd converted a long time ago, so i was cool with it. he's not a bloody preacher, ynoe. and t'was good to know that he was against hell-fire preachers. ooh.. i SO do not like those people. we got talking, and he answered alot of my questions patiently and his answers werent slip-shot, they were in-depth and detailed. when i asked him my questions, i didnt attack him, either. i held a genuine curiosity and respect for what he had to say, coz i havent met a single christian who's been able to give me satisfactory answers.(isnt that sad? what does this reflect on modern day christians?)

if i'd been grading those other christians out there, they would've failed. miserably. Yong Lit got a 23 and a 1/2 upon 25, which is a pretty good grade. ynoe, upon 25, like how you'd grade a literature essay.

anyways. i found the stuff he had to say pretty engaging. most of it, i was hearing for the first time.(since no other christian's been able to answer me properly on most accounts. not even christians who's gone to church and youth fellowship for years. godd.. the lousy buggers) he even told me a few pretty cool stories abt how the israelies managed to defeat the arabs at war, defending their land, when they had much less ammo and soldiers. that was cool. t'was a modern-day miracle, man. he's gonna lend me the dvd on that.

its a 6hour long dvd, but he said that i could fast forward to all the war bits. i think i wont do that, i wanna watch it all. hopefully i'll be able to pay attention long enough. narration's great, but i hope that it wont be monotonous narration thruout the entire thing.(i dont even know if there'll BE narration)

there were questions that Yong Lit werent able to answer, and he was frank abt that. not like some other people who act like they know alot but know jackshit. and i was alright with him not knowing those rare few questions, coz he'd already provided me with so many other in-depth answers to questions i had.

and yeahh, i guess im pretty much neutral abt the whole thing now. pretty much thanks to Yong Lit, he's reinforced my way of thinking to take a neutral stand on the whole christianity thing.

im still a lil shaky, of course. i mean, i havent exactly been rooting for christianity for most of my life.(since i was able to talk, i think) its difficult to take a neutral stand after all this time and accept the crap that the so-called christians are gonna dish out to me later on in life. dont get me wrong yea, the genuine christians, i support. you go do yer own thang and be cool, and dont let anybody be bringing you or yer faith down.(i hopefully wont go back to doing that)

right now, im gonna be as neutral as i can get, until somebody pisses me off. hopefully i wont meet that unfortunate soul. unfortunate for both of us, i think.

but really, i DO wanna be neutral. process info from both sides, tho not necessarily taking a side. that might be a lil tough, what with human nature and all, but i'll try. i've been too tough with christians and their faith for a tad too long, i think.(no shite) i figure, its more entertaining, educational and informational to be neutral, as well. and it wont kill my blood pressure the way my previous stand on christianity did.

just let no misinformed miscreant come preaching to me with his shallow takes on the religion, proclaiming allegories in the bible to be real, or boasting how much he knows when he knows naught. i wont do anything to him, but it can get really annoying. bloody buggers.

thankfully(for me), i dont see much of those kind of people anymore. mainly coz i dont go to, dare i say it, church anymore. actually, more like youth fellowship. and people i know outside know not to say anything, either coz they know how i feel abt the religion, or coz they dont know much and choose to keep mum.

hopefully, people will stop going to christianity for the wrong reasons. and i mean the WRONG reasons, like going to church to hang out with the opposite sex(or same sex, which ever way they swing), that kinda thing. and hopefully, people will start being more serious when they take up the religion. i think these days, christianity's being taken too lightly. religion isnt smth you take up for fun, its a responsibility. and i think that alotta people dont/havent realised that.

maybe if all goes well, christianity will start being taken more seriously by everyone, believers and non-believers alike. and i'd like to see that happen. you dont have to believe in a faith or religion to have respect for it, and maybe the faces of christianity will make that happen.

im neutral now. dont stone me to death. murder's a sin, anyways.

2004-05-04T01:19:00.000+08:00

its been exactly a week since i've blogged, and i cant remember much of what's happened..

well. some stuff worth remembering, or that i've actually remembered, anyways.

i went out with Nadiah, Rishi beardy, Din abang and Naddy on saturday. we just chilled out at parkway, aplnning to go to KL, talking rubbish. and then Nadiah(i love that girl!!) and i went to town to hang out for awhile before she went to meet Y for a movie and i went to meet Sara DJ, Sidney tinks and Jeremy.

well. the bunch of us just hung out at lido mac's. then we went to shangri-la *sighh* which was a complete waste of time. expanded energy for nothing. Bizhen, El Paulo, Mark 6, Danny, Erik and Gerald kor were there too. then we decided to leave coz we werent doing jack and the bunch of us ended up at balestier eating bak kut teh. Gekpuay joined us for supper there. bak kut teh was quite good, but t'was 5 bucks for a bowl.

i'd pay 5 bucks for a bowl of dog meat, not pork, but the bak kut teh wasnt too bad la ;)

and on sunday i watch like 9 straight hours of telly, gradually going blind as the radiation fried my frickin eyeballs. when i finally got up from the damn couch i had a headache. so much for a productive sunday. whoopEEE!

and on monday, meaning just a couple of hours ago, i was out with Jon, Yong Lit my senior and Chuan De. i havent hung out with em in yonks and t'was quite, how shall i put it, refreshing to be chilling with em again. *chuckle*

aye.. dont get me wrong la k. they're cool company aight!! we were at suntec, and then we got bored after mking plans to go to KL(wassupppp with everybody and KL man??), so we all got into Jon's mazda and we went to east coast. we ate at the renovated hawker centre there. we chomped(speaking of chomp, i gotta go to chomp chomp soon sia) down sting ray, olua and satay. the guys had coconuts, and i had sugarcane, which was bloody damn sweet. sugarcane.. el excellento, my muchachos.

then the 4 of us trudged to the beach, which was just a walk away from the hawker centre, and we sat down there just talking. and after awhile, i think we got bored or smth, and we migrated to kallang to sit by the water and talk some more. like Yong Lit said, we were just moving from one body of water to another body of water. and him and i talked abt christianity. more like, i asked him questions, and he answered em with the patience only a christian could possess.

intriguing stuff.

and then jon sent us all home, me first. coz i stay so far away from all of em, they're all East Side Kids.

okayy. and this is pretty cool. people're telling me that im looking thinner and all. lemme categorise it coz it makes me feel good, be what they say true or not. ha! talk abt being self-delusional, girl.

Rishi beardy: said that i've lost weight, im looking good, and told me that my body looks elongated. i told him that i added an extra rib to my body, see.(i am now Adam)
Nadiah: said that i've lost weight, im thinner, and i've got a nice tan.
Din abang: said that im thin.. i think.
Bizhen and Erik: said im thin and that i've got a really flat stomach.
Jon: said that i've lost ALOT of weight. he said that im chao da, too. and then he asked me what's wrong with me. i could see in his eyes that he thought that i was anorexic or smth. of COURSE im bloody not anorexic, i dont have the willpower and determination to not eat for extended periods of time man.

and im not bullimic either, i think thats alot worse than being anorexic, actually.

so yupp. thats it. thanks to those who.. "complimented" me..(allow me to continue being blatantly self-delusional, will ya?) and im engraving all this 'thin' stuff down in stone not coz im buay hiao bai.. oh okayy, i am, but its also coz i dont actually remain desirably thin for long, and i havent had so many.. "compliments".. over sucha short period of time, and im just relishing it ynoe.

RELISHING it!!!

so im thin. and gorgeous. bite me, biatch.

THIN THIN THIN! and GORGEOUS!!

*cough* anyways. i shall be calling Sara DJ now so that we can catch up on stuff. and by the way, when i say "thin and gorgeous" i actually think of Victoria Adams a.k.a Posh Spice a.k.a Victoria Beckham. godd i love that chick. she's got the bloody money, she's got the bloody looks, she's got the bloody body, she's got the bloody style, she's bloody got a perfect life!

cept for an unfaithful husband, but that can easily be resolved if her PA skills live up to its name.

2004-04-27T06:22:00.000+08:00

DO NOT CUT YOURSELVES. its true: its uncool, and pointless, too. if you wanna kill yerselves for real, cut along the veins on yer wrist. that means that instead of cutting yerselves crosswise as its so wrongly displayed by various forms of media, you cut yerself where yer veins are lengthwise.(parallel to the edges of yer arm) remember, its LENGTHWISE.

thats only if you genuinely wanna kill yerself, tho. after all, if you want smth done, you gotta do it right. and im sure you dont wanna screw up and not die, you'd just be in alotta pain, so you might as well get it done right the first time. and im teaching you how.(tho of course there're quicker and more efficient ways of dying out there)

for the rest of you out there who: cant take the pain of life/wanna know what pain feels like/need to replace the emotional scarring that you've gotten/want attention from yer friends coz you know of no other way to get it coz yer such a bore/want attention from anyone else/think yer a failure/cant deal with life's obstacles/wanna have cool funky scars on yer arms that'll never go away unless you laser the buggers off.. just go cut yerself the way they show it on television, give yerself shallow cuts on yer wrists crosswise over and over again, go right ahead. you cant die, anyway.

+ + + + +

have pride in yerself, ladieez and gents, is all im saying. nobody's gonna respect you if you dont respect yerself in the first place. its along the same lines of "Jesus only helps those who helps themselves". if you cant help yerself, seek help. take the first step, and the rest(difficult as the process may be) will follow.

i dont know who this entry is directed to, really. right now, i only know one person who cuts herself. i wish that she didnt, and i hope that she doesnt anymore. anyways. the entry's dedicated to her, and to everyone else who might be reading this. and also to the people who arent reading this, and're just slouched in a corner of their toilets cutting themselves, bathing themselves in misery.. it goes out to them even more.

man, this is such a bipolar entry. eye's twitchin, i oughta be sleepin. have a good day, folks. weather looks set to be good today.

2004-04-27T01:49:00.000+08:00

i spent saturday in town with Sara DJ, Sidney tinks, Jeremy, Marcus and Gerald kor. we were sposed to catch Kill Bill: Volume 2. but we didnt. wadever. saturday was an utterly complete waste of time, man. im sure Sara DJ would agree with me ;)

the day wasnt TOTALLY a waste of my time, tho. Donovan was out with the fellas, but they ended up playing lan, so we met up. and afterwards when he decided to left town, he sent me home, too. so that was cool.

and of course, i was with Donovan on sunday. i caught Kill Bill: Volume 2 with him instead. in my opinion, Volume 1 was alot better. more.. artistic and bloody and with elaborate fighting scenes that were choreographed. Volume 2 was boring and overly comical. and as for the elaborate fighting scenes, practicacally zilch, man. thats why i was pretty damn disappointed with the show, it didnt even cut the basics, and it didnt even remotely come close to the standard of Volume 1. if Volume 2 had enough gore and fancy footwork, i wouldnt bitch. unfortunately, it didnt(ohhh yeahhh it SO didnt), so im bitchin. perhaps thats the way Volume 2's sposed to run. *sighh*

anyways.

Donovan's actually been pretty busy with some stuff recently, and i was quite quite happy(should i use the word 'pleased' instead?) that he still spent the entire day with me. i mean, the guy's got important matters on his hands, and he still came out with me. he still meets me even tho he's ill, he's nauseous, and he's just taken medication in the morning before that're as strong as horse tranquilisers.(well, he says they're that strong, anyway)

for putting himself thru all that torture just to be with me, Donovan gets like, a million points in my book. i feel like squishing him now, he's such a dear.

so yea. i met Sara DJ in town first coz i was up since 7am and couldnt get back to sleep. she finished school so i decided to meet her after that. we're having our usual bitching session(at lido mac's, no less) before Donovan arrives.

he went to cut his hair. he's like one of those sacrificial sheep that those farmers in farms overseas use to shave as a sort of demonstration to a large audience before passing the stinky wool around the audience. ynoe what im talking abt. i do not fancy those farms much. boring, stinky, not educational and always with the same ol same ol animals.

ANYWAYS. Donovan arrives, and the poor boy's so drugged up on his medication that he cant even walk, much less walk straight. walking straight is such a feat, after all. so the 3 of us just sit at lido mac's coz 1)Donovan cant walk and 2)sara DJ's got nobody to accompany her. these poor souls. so Sara and i just bitch&gossip away as Donovan rests and listens to our endless chattering&nattering.

the 3 of us ended up spending the entire afternoon together, all the way til Shuping came, and the 4 of us went to support Jarrod dajie at his The Face competition at scotts. Donovan and i didnt stay the whole way tho coz twas getting late and i wanted to spend time alone with Donovan, he had to get home early that night as well.

sorry dajie.. you understand right?? anyways i cheered for you! and i saw you in yer undies! so everything was cool ;)

and Jarrod got 2nd place!! whoo!! isnt that just exciting?? and he was also crowned the best looker in underwear. yeahh. i think he looked the best too. the other guys looked.. wrong.. go go dajie!! whoop whooop!! Shuping.. yer dating a guy who looks SMASHING in underwear!! waddya think of that, eh?? *chuckle* how doth it feeeeeeel, eh??

anyways. Donovan and i caught Kill Bill after that, and then we went to NYDC(coz i was hungry) and between us we finished a bowl-plate of baked rice and a pizza. i ate a lil more than him. man. i felt like barfing my guts out after that, i was so full. the food was good, but i was just filled to the brim with food la ynoe.

Donovan was a big sweetie, tho. he said that i wasnt fat when i told him that i was eating too much/getting fat/or even if i didnt say anything at all. thats really cool. telling me im not fat when i dont ask for it. *grinz* AND him telling me when i didnt ask him that my fringe looked fine(when it obviously isnt, its retarded). this is why he gets a million points, man. this is what im talking abt.

i love that boy =)

to me, and i believe to alotta other people out there as well, fat isnt how people perceive you to be.(unless yer genuinely overweight, that is) its more of a personal standard. you tell yerself whether you look fat, like whether yer arms squish out by the sides, or if that lil bit of tummy fat is getting outta control.

by the way, ladieez, that bit of tummy fat ought to be there. its a layer of fat that helps protect yer baby when you get pregnant. smth like that, anyways. so ladieez, chill, yo. a lil tummy fat's fine, 20 inches extra isnt. then you should start worrying.

i've been eating and eating so much these few days coz my period's on the way. and i feel bloated, as well. *blergh* i still feel full from all that i've eaten recently, man. i've been gorging on chocolate, too. y'all know how i feel abt chocolate, normally. today, i finished a litre of chocolate milk. i feel like such a glutton. how unglam. cut down on food! start running! start leading a healthy lifestyle maddie!! righty ho.

anyways.

i've finished the Simpson's game already. finished it on sunday morning when i couldnt get back to sleep. thats cool. but at mario, im kinda stagnated, ynoe. its like how when you get smth new you make alotta headway and progress in the beginning coz you've got the real drive for it and all. after some time tho, you find it more and more difficult to move further up the ladder, progress is stagnant.

now that i've naturally started cutting down on playing the gameboy, im starting to feel like that abt mario. i've cut down from 16hours a day to 2hours a day now. 3 hours, max. i guess its to be expected that any progress i would make before would lessen now.

owell. i'll complete it soon. no biggie. im too close to completeing the game to give it up, man. now if only i could start feelng this way abt school.. ho humm..

listening to: If I Ain't Got you by Alicia Keys.
reading: The Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan.

2004-04-24T11:19:00.000+08:00

god be playin wit me, man.

ynoe how i wanted to go for my tan just now? well, im obviously not at sentosa now, am i? instead, im at home right here and now.

i was packing my bag, and the last thing i packed was my lil radio with the headphones. so. i found the headphones, but not the damn radio. i'd unplugged it some time back coz i wanted to connect the headphones elsewhere, and i left the radio on my computer table.

and now its not here no more. *twilight zone theme song cue*

it like that, "gosh dang it! i KNEW i left my car keys on the table by the door!!" kinda situtuation. i KNOW i left it on the computer table coz there's nowhere else i could've left it. no, really. i couldnt find the damn radio, man.

god's good. he's real good. using a combination of his sneakiness and my ADHD, god's managed to hide my radio from my sight.

so i thought i'd be sneaky back la, ynoe. i sighed out loud and said(to no one else but god in particular), "i guess i cant go to sentosa to tan then." its reverse psychology, man. i tell god that im not going, and he gives me my radio.

and i DID mean it, too. i meant the 1st half of my sentence, but then i realised that i could use reverse psychology on god by the 2nd half of my sentence.

i was even planning on acting surprised, ynoe. like, the lil radio would just pop up on my computer table among some cables like some miracle(coz thats what god does, ainnit? miracles??) and i'd put on this real surprised & excited look on my face and i'd exclaim, "THERE y'are you mischievous lil bastard!! so THATS where you've been hiding!!"

i spose that lil tactic didnt work, coz he's omniscient and all(yah yah big shot mama la. psssssh). it started getting cloudy, man. real cloudy. in fact, its still cloudy. and the skin on my back still hurts a lil from the last time i went tanning, it hasnt had a proper chance to heal. or wadever it is that skin does, ynoe ynoe. AND im also tired coz i've only had 3 hours of sleep.

thus, using a combination of tactics, god has managed to thwart my plans to go tanning at sentosa.

wahh.. cunning ah.. cunning.. you good la, god.. you good..

speaking of which(god, that is), have i casually mentioned that Sara DJ claimed herself to be the spawn, i mean, child of Satan yesterday night at lido mac's? god would be so disappointed. tut tut.

i'd continue on this whole god issue, but then he might really strike me with a bolt of lightning. now, y'all know that i've just rebonded my hair, and i dont want my hair fried by some bolt of lightning. not cost effective, ynoe.(to my mother's wallet) chill la, god. we be chillllllllllllinnnnnnnnnnn, yo.

[oh this has been fun]

2004-04-24T08:41:00.000+08:00

this is so awesome.

im watching the Road Runner cartoon now. thats so damn ol skool man.. i loved Road Runner. and i still find it vaguely amusing, even now.(unlike other cartoons, ynoe)

beep beep!

tho i realise now that Road Runner aint exactly the brightest, hejust looks intelligent coz the coyote's so damn stupid. its like a comparison thang, like how you wouldnt know Good if there wasnt Evil, you gotta have both sides, ynoe what i mean.

ohh yeahh. and have i ever mentioned that i like all the Honey Star adverts??(its on the telly now) they totally rock man. what with the bear in the space suit(Captain Star, he is!) and every monster gets subdued with honey stars. frickin cool.

i like eating honey stars, too. sometimes when i gobble em down too fast coz im a greedy lil fuck, they sometimes get wedged in my throat and i gotta wash em down with mile, i cant swallow em, coza all the pointy points on those (honey) stars.

ow oww.

advert's over! telly time. did i mention that there's Spongebob Squarepants at 9am?

listening to: Someone Like Me by Atomic Kitten.
its sad, but this is the only song i like by the group. and they've just disbanded.(bloody abt time, damn!) awwwww.

2004-04-24T08:30:00.000+08:00

hot damn. i've been up since 6.05am man. wadahell. my body's still gettin acclimatised to socially acceptable and so-called 'normal' sleeping hours. which is like, 3am or earlier, and waking up by 1pm. its a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it!!

and i slept at 3am on purpose, and i was up at 6.(which is the time i normally sleep) only 3 bloody hours of sleep. how bloody annoying.

i think i'll go get a *darker* tan later, i cant get back to sleep.(and yet im tired. how bloody annoying)

anyways. i was out with Sara DJ, Amanda, Sidney tinks, El Paulo, Gerald kor and Jeremy yesterday. we were at.. umm.. *mumble*.. lido mac's.. as usual.. *ahemm*.. Donovan told me that the bunch of us should just install sofas in the place. i might have to agree.

and we all didnt do anything. we just.. sat there.. or walked around a lil. yupp. mm. hmm. uhh. yup.

i DID go to far east with Sara DJ and Sidney tinks ealier on tho. i liked this chunky punk-ish bracelet that Sidney had, so we went to far east so that i could get it. i ended up buying two(a black versh of Sidney's bracelet, and another dark red one). and Sara bought one.

we're bracelet punks now, yo!! put cher hannnnds in da airrrrr!!!!!!!!

*roll eyes da Sara DJ way*

anyways. so we continued walking around far east and i bought this chiffon halter top from "Sara's favourite shop". how do i know its her favourite shop? coz every damn time we go by the damn place, she'll always exclaim(macham like its her first time telling us), "OHH!! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SHOP!!!!" before excitedly scurrying into the shop as Sidney and i amble in after her.

another impulse buys, but im realising these days that i actually quite like my impulse buys and they sitck me with me. umm. well. mebbe they dont really stick with me, but at least i dont really regret my purchases.

well. cept mebbe for that ape bag i bought. i look at it at night and it kinda freaks me out. like, all em damn monkeys.. they be LOOKIN at me, man. now thats real freaky.

anyways.

i gotta stop buying stuff, man. mom's day and my mom's bday both fall in the same month(that'd be may, for you real filial kids out there. but then im ure you knew it already right? *harx*) and now that im unemployed(man i sound like some dude who's bankrupt and jobless coz i blew all my money on shares and shite), at the rate im spending i wont be able to get my mom ANYTHING when may rolls around and then that would really suck. no, really.

im not a filial kid all the time, so these're like, 2 days when i actually CAN be. actually, HAVE to be, but i also wanna, ynoe, make it pleasant for my mom and stuff.

damn im filial.

gotta go check the weather to see if it'll rain. tho i doubt it will, it poured yesterday. yippee. long cumbersome trip to sentosa, here i come. *sighh* damn screwed up body clock.. if not i'd be asleep.. *grumble*..

2004-04-23T02:45:00.000+08:00

im gonna buy more gameboy games soon. need.. gameboy games.. need to.. sate my appetite.. rarrgghh..

im a greedy lil person. i dont slobber so it doesnt show.

anyways. i met up with Tim bro today. he gave me this topman shirt(size S, of course). its this dirty green with this big word SLACKER sewn on. he says the shirt has new meaning for me now that im unemployed. *blergh* nice.

weird thing is, i'd actually noticed the shirt when i was alone at topman some time before and never told anybody. i was even considering getting it but the size S was a tad too big for me coz it a guy's shirt. and Tim got it for me for my bday! cool beans! thanks Tim!

im getting stuff that i wanted but never told anybody.. and they're getting it fror me even tho they really didnt havta.. this is so frickin awesome. *grinz* first, the paul frank undies from Amanda, Sara DJ, Shuping and Jarrod dajie. and now this SLACKER topman shop from Tim. man. you guys rock. *twang twang twangs guitar*

anyways. Tim and i went out for dinner at this japanese retaurant at cuppage.. cant remember the name..(then again what do i remember eh?) and he footed the bill. thanks *again* Tim!

and after dinner he gave me a lift to great world and i met Chai, Janmeety and Kensuke there. we caught Starsky & Hutch. its frankly not that good. and hot damn, Snoop Dogg was like some Discovery Channel preacher man. godd. you gotta watch the show to see what i mean, man. but he was cool. i like Snoop Dogg. he is one tall skinny bastard, but he be rockin my socks, yo.

there was even this one bit where Snoop dogg's on the golf course and he said smth like,"i know alot abt grass." the bit's on the trailer, actually. and the 4 of us laughed coz, ynoe, Snoop Dogg be talkin abt weeeeeeeeeed. and so the bunch of us were laughing, and then i asked the gang, "are we the only ones laughing?" and they went like, "yeah!" and then we laughed some more coz everybody else didnt get the 'grass' thang but we did and we rawwwkkked.

umm.. okayy.. kinda just.. talked alot back there. but yeahh. hawhawhaw. cool beans! damn i sound like a retard.

anyways. Chai gave me a lift back home. i gave him wrong directions by accident(as usual) and we took a lil longer than usual to get back home. *cough* but yeahh. t'was awesome seeing the guys again. i havent seen em in months man, its been that long. whoo wheeeeee.

need job. shall ask Jenny more abt it, wont i, dearie? mainly coz i.. uhh.. forgot what she told me the last time i made inquiries abt the job.. crap. goddamn memory. its shot, man. ginko biloba, anyone? lets shoot it up our nostrils. *harx*

2004-04-22T01:54:00.000+08:00

as we all know but frequently forget, the week officially starts on sunday, not monday. and its been a pretty damn bad week so far is all i can say.

i didnt even feel like blogging all this week til i heard William Hung's rendition of R.Kelly's song "i believe i can fly".

it is, very possibly, even worse than his rendition of "can you feel the love tonight", which was, by the way, worse than "she bangs". all three are, easily and without question, the worst 3 songs i've ever heard in my entire life. when i heard the song, i just sat right up, cringed at all the parts he went off key, when his voice warbled when it shoutldnt have, and frankly, his accent just grates on the ears.

true(and granted), the lil asian dude was the most popular choice of an AMI3 underdog. no look, no style, and most importantly , no voice but yet, EVERYBODY loved him. and he was an inspiration to people all over the globe coz if even WIlliam Hung could be adored, loved and worshipped, what more them, right??

but i sae, ENOUGH!! halt the parade of stupidity that follows in his William Hung's civil engineering footsteps!! stop the presses(from talking anymore abt him)! stop the media(from clamouring for more info on the dolt)! and stop the recording companies(from wanting to sign him up under their label) coz cmon, the bad standard's got to stop SOMEwhere.. right? please?

"i have no professional singing experience whatsoever." no shite, dude.

and americans think that William's such an inspiration and they're buying his album. they're still being fooled after all this time.. its amazing. seriously. thats really sad. i mean, they could be spending that money they used to buy that cd on a burger+fries+coke[upsized] man.(coz it costs just as much, they order not one, not two, but three meals)

William Hung is but a pawn by whatever label who bought the bugger. dya think they REALLY chose to sign him on coz he would 'inspire people everywhere'?? up my arse. they just want their money.. YOUR money. so stop being cheated/fooled/getting the wool pulled over yer cataract-riddden eyes.

okayy. im just insulting everybody arent i? im sorry. blogging brings out the best in me. plus, im just in a nasty mood. like i said, its been a piss lousy week.[actually, thats just an excuse. being nasty is just so much more fun. dont quote me on that.]

but first, a quick recap:

friday: Sara DJ, Amanda, Shuping and i went to Lola to support Jarrod dajie for his.. competition.. thingy.. i forgot what it was. but yea anyways.. all the male models were, well, modelling(d'oh) underwear. we all gotta see Jarrod in his undies, his thongs, his stripper hat.

his bum.. it is a beacon of light.. it shines and it glows. if i ever fall into a dark sea i want him next to me coz his bum bum will reflect the light(wadever light there is) and i wont crash into any rocks.

saturday: i went out with Sara DJ, Shuping, Jarrod dajie and Amanda.. we went to Tannlines coz they were having some huigeass sale. Amanda bought a bikini, i just bought a bikini bottom. i know, wadever right.

and twas so sweet of em.. Jarrod asked me to hug Shuping at tannlines. and i was immediately suspicious, i asked him, "why??" and Sara said, "just hug her la!!" and it took em awhile for em to convince me, im that daft. but when i DID hug her, Shuping held out this Paul Frank plastic bag from behind!! ta-daa!! and inside there was this set of Paul Frank undies in clear casing. 7 undies, one for each day of the week! so adorable.. i really didnt expect a present from em coz Shuping and Sara'd already bought me drinks on wed at phuture.

weird thing was, i'd actually seen it before but never pointed it out to em before but yet, by somew eerie coincidence *twilight zone theme song cue* they got it from me. what a twist of fate! whoo!! thanks you guys: Sara, Jarrod dajie, Shuping and Amanda!! you guys rock my world! *grinz*

and at night the bunch of us who were at tannlines went to this bungalow party at changi(the place is incredibly oolu-ated) and El Paulo, Bizhen, Mark 6, Kenneth, Erik tall viking dude, Benedict, Jeremy, Gerald kor, Danny and Gekpuay were there too. t'was Mark 6's campmate party.

and everyone was so sweet, they wished me happy birthday over and over again haha.. before AND after the clock struck 12. and at 12am, they made me drink this freezing cold cuppa lychee martini(braaainnnn freeeezeeee!! aieeeeee!) and some of em hugged and wished me happy bday again. cool.

the party was.. alright. well, pretty boring, actually. but the cool bit was that after 12am, therer was this belly dancer, and there were 2 fire performers, and i felt almost like they were performing for me.

of course they werent la. d'oh.

got home late, Danny sent me back. he's cool. he sent El Paulo, Sara and Jeremy home(east side!) and Gekpuay back(west side!) and finally, me, coz we stay pretty near each other. all of us wound down the windows during the journey, played techno, sang, along to mushy songs, sang to passing motorists.. t'was cool, man.

sunday: i went out with Donovan. he got me a gorgeous dark red(the colour's called Refurbished Flame on the box. funky, eh?) gameboy advance sp and 2 games.. Mario and Simpsons: Road Rage.

Mario's the genuine ol skool deal man.. this game was the first EVER mario game i ever played.. on my cousin's white+purple nintendo game box. its so ol skool i cant believe it man!

the game really evokes memories.. me and my cousin fighting over who gotta be 1st player(Mario) or 2nd player(Luigi). i didnt wanna me Luigi coz Luigi was ugly and skinny and wore ugly green overalls and he wasnt popular and EVERYBODY wants to be Mario, nobody wants to be Luigi!! pssssh. and also memories of my cousin being better at the game than i was, even tho he's 4 years younger than i am. then again, the nintendo belonged to him so he could play it all day while i only got to play it when i went over to his house. frankly, when he was younger, he was a brat and he used to piss me off and when i couldnt take it i'd scold him and make him cry. but anyways. my point was that i always went to his house not for his glorious company, but coz i wanted to play his nintendo. however, he's a better kid now, he's gonna grow up to be real tall and he's not a brat anymore and.. umm.. why am i talking abt all this again?

i.. digressed.

and as for Simpson's Road Rage.. haha.. i thought the face that Donovan whose that title was really amusing. and its really awesome man. i get to sit in a vehicle(it could be a car, it could be plow king) and bang down shite like roadlamps and trees and boulders and other cars and ambulances and police cars(those're worth more than normal cars) and all that kinda stuff.. and i get money!!(there's no points, only money) and from there i get to unlock hidden vehicles and locations to drive around(and bang more shite down) at.

i think Simpson's Road Rage really appeals to me coz in real life 1)i cant drive and 2)i dont get to bang down shite in a vehicle(coz i cant drive) or any other time, anyways. it really rocks. *grinz*

thanks so much for the presents sweetie. i love it lots =) and you, too.

anyways. back to my crappy week. i spose its still early to say whether its gonna continue being crappy, but well. gotta start somewhere, right?

so. on sunday afternoon i went with my mom to collect my specs. we cant find a bloody parking lot for 25 mins, and cmon, we're in hougang, the place(its heartland mall at kovan) ist sposed to be crowded. thats one thing. so anyways. my mom's driving round and round and walking right in the middle of the road of the parking lots is this woman holding a young child's hand. and the woman's husband is walking in front of em, and im thinking, "why isnt he walking with his family?"

anyways. my mom horns at the woman and child coz 1)she hasnt got all day and 2)she doesnt wanna run em down.(its either horn at em or mow em down, i figure) and later, as she cruises by to reverse and look for a parking lot, both of us see the man(the woman's husband) staring daggers at us. like, fucking bloody seriously diao-ing us. i mean, the guy's probably 40, and he's doing that whole diao-ing thing. he doesnt take his eyes off us, even turning to stare at us as we go by til his neck cant turn anymore(it would be freaky if it could) and im like, "wow this guy has a real major problem." and i give em the fucking bird. and the woman turns oround to see what her husband has been staring at and she gets the bird full-on. poor woman. she didnt deserve to see that, her husband did. bloody pig, he is.

and i was in town with Sara and Sidney on tuesday, and i accidentally bumped into this butch in some chij uniform. i apologised immediately, but she made this really loud, "tcht!" sound and gave me this dulan look. we were walking away from each other and then she started mumbling loudly(its a lil oxymoronic but ynoe what i mean) away to her friend abt me and telling her how i bumped into her and everything and i got so pissed off i shouted to her, "i said sorry, you bitch!!"

i dont see or bump or meet such people for years and years, and now i get two buggers in one week. nice. like calls to like, i spose? ;) heyy, i cant help it if i've got ADHD and i react impulsively right?(actually yes i technically COULD help it by taking my med but i keep forgetting to.. hell..)

and FOTT fired my ass coz their restaurant's going downnnnnnnn and apparantly they dont need so many people working for em. time to find a new job. hello? Jenny? help?? *harx* no, im serious, actually. need job. now. *grunt*

anyways. thats abt it la. if there is, i dont wanna talk abt it, so there. hooha.

and i've been playing the gameboy Donovan got me all day and all night since i got it. 16 hours on monday. whoo. if im not sleeping or watching tv, im playing the gameboy. i even play the gameboy during telly adverts. im a freak. Donovan says he's gonna take it away from me before my eyes get wrecked, but i say my eyes're wrecked anyway, what difference does it make eh?

lets see how much more crappy it can get. pssh. come and get me, fuckers of the world.

okayy i know that was unnecessary, just felt like sayin it, ynoe ynoe. be seein y'all soon.

2004-04-21T04:24:00.000+08:00

ynoe i was watching the 70's show just now and Eric and the whole gang were in Eric's basement eating skinny orange popsicles and im like, "i want one of those!!"

so i decided to make it a reality. i called my mom coz she was out and asked her to buy me popsicles and she got me 3 boxes!! i am happy. *grunt*

anyways. my mom says im malay coz im so dark.(if im malay what is she? *harx*) and Lionel says im dark, too. i know im dark(dark enough for me, anyways. *ahemm*) but really, the whole uneven tan thing just bugs me. it ubgs me that my arms are tanned but my chest isnt the same exact shade, or that my legs are a tad not as dark as my arms.. ynoe, that kinda thing.

i seek the even tan.. my dream.. i aspire to have.. i am.. Sun Worshipper.. hooga chakaa.. hooga.. hoogaaa chakaaa..

and there was this one day, i was lining up in the bus queu to leave sentosa, and there was these 4 blonde caucasian women in front of me in the queue. from their body language you can tell that thet think they're big shots coz they're ang mohs in an asian country. i say, screw that shite. i wanna know the percentage of natural BLONDE FEMALE LAWYERS in the profession from non-asian countries. no, really. dumbasses. pssh.

and speaking of dumbasses.. have you seen the Courts advert on telly recently? the one with Jamie Yeo. oh lordy lordy lordy lordy lord. it. is. horrendous. its so incredibly fake and stiff, i cant believe Courts even accepted the advert! frankly, i think that Courts were better off without the silly advert playing on tellys all over the island(its even on tvmobile.. christ)

Jamie Yeo's acxtions looks so forced, and she has to say the most ridiculous things. like how bright and happening she is, like Courts. my god. i pity her but i still cant stand the advert. and.. the way she says her lines.. its just so forced ynoe she's only really REALLY doing it for the money. i mean, who doesnt? but you can tell that even tho she's smiling on the screen, her eyes are screaming, "i cant believe im saying this crap!! i wanna get this over and done with!! im only in this for the money!! this isnt REALLY me! im not really this stupid and i dont say such incredibly stupid things in real life!!.. oh wait i do. but i mean everything else that i said!! aieeee!!

you get the drift, yo.

i am such a BITCH. i should just stop BITCHING. but its too irresistable a habit to give up, i apologise. im a really nice person at heart, really. really! *stifled laughter*

gotta go play Mario now. i've neglected my gameboy long enough. mm.. maybe i should give my gameboy a name. i'll think of one. maddie's lil eccentrities.. *chuckle*

2004-04-18T05:19:00.000+08:00

i would absolutely love to blog abt what's been happening for the past few days, ynoe me, im sucha blabbermouth, everything's for the world to see/hear/touch/smell/taste.

however, i'd like to be able to tell Donovan everything when i meet him later on today, instead of having him read everything off my blog before i can even start off by announcing to him what i had for breakfast.("nothing??") ynoe what i mean la yea.

yeahh. i know y'all will understand. but y'all know who y'all are(i should quit with the "y'all"s, seriously) who made everything really fabulous for me. i'll just name the main darlings now: Sara darling, Amanda dearest, Shuping sweetheart and Jarrod sweetie.

i spose you could call these lovely friends the main people who made everything WONDERFUL. i love you guys to squishy bits, i really really do. *grinz*

the sub-darlings, i'll name the next time i blog. just dont wanna say too much now, ynoe ynoe. but all shall be revealed in the next entry.. whooOOOoooOOo..

right now, everybody rocks my socks off. *harx*

listening to: Roses by Outkast.
"lean a lil bit closer coz roses really smell like ooh, ooh, ooooh.."

2004-04-16T17:08:00.000+08:00

well. its finally friday. and i just remembered more random stuff that happened on wednesday night at phuture.

1)i poked Sara, Sidney and Shuping's boobies alot coz all of us werent were wearing like revealing tops and 3 outta 4 of us werent wearing bras. i know i wasnt, and t'wasnt coz it dropped on the floor or anything. i also poked GekPuay's boobies alot too, but its only coz they're nice to poke. *grinz* mm.. squishy and soft!!

i also pulled open their tops coz they were so afraid people would see their boobs. (only applicable to Sidney and Shuping) just bringing out the lewd pervert residing in me, ynoe ynoe. then they'd pull open my top but i wouldnt be affected coz 1)im high so i dont give a damn and 2)i've already got a thick hide to start with so im pretty much buay paiseh. however, i can say one thing and im sure all the girls will agree with me.

we all have nice tits.

2)i still find it amazing that i could dance for 4 hours straight(minus the barfing times), regardless of whether the music was good or not. it actually seemed to me all the time that the music was great heh. i can frankly say that i cant remember what song was playing half the time. and the next day my body ached like hell, but t'was all good la. *harx*

3)and im sure y'all know how i puked twice right.. and my throat really burned coza all those stomach acids and what-have-you. i dont know how bullimics can keep it up. kudos, man.. kudos.

4)Nabil bought me a lychee martini that night(the last drink i consumed for the night), and i remember thinking, "omg. i cant drink this. i'll die." and i remember spilling the drink alot even tho i dont think i was swaying.(tho i must've been) and i also remember thinking, "i hope i sway so much i spill the whole drink and i wont havta drink any of it." but im not so evil, wastage is bad when there're food&alcohol-deprived kids in ethiopia, so i finished the lychee martini. thanks again Nabil!

5)and wednesday was the first time i showed my fringe to the world. people seemed to think t'was alright. Amanda said t'was okay, Shuping too. but Sara dearest said that t'was "retarded". bloody hell. she explained to me just now that she thought my fringe was retarded coz its barely a fringe at all, she could barely see it once i'd swept it the side. yahh, aight, wadever Saraaaaaaa.

however, regardless of what people say, i am now at peace with my fringe.(tho it still curls right after washing. urgh!! bloody annoying. i gotta blowdry it straight after i wash my hair from now on.. so much work.. crap.)

6)Gerald kor has many many lovebites. actually, only two la. that scandalous fella. he be getting some serious bootayyyyy soon, i reckon. *smirx*

7)and i thanked everybody for turning up, and buying me drinks, but i forgot to thank those who took care of me. i, frankly, cant remember for the life of me who y'all were, my head was down most of the time, but i thank y'all too. i can only remember yer shoes.. but seriously, if it werent for y'all i'd end up like how Jarrod dajie said, like that ketamine ad where the girls're lying by the road with their skirts hiked up and their teensy panties on show for the world to see.

*shudder*

so, thank you, ALL of you, my guardians and caretakers, drink-buyers and party-turn uppers. *grinz*

-end of wednesday's recollections-

anyways. these past 2 weeks has been pretty cool, getting to see, meet or talk to people that i havent seen in ages. like how i gotta meet Kevin. and i was talking to Janmeet for 4hours last night coz we hadnt even seen or talked to each oter in yonks. and Marilyn calling me to catch up. and also talking to Clifford bro, too.

everything rocks. i love my friends. yes, thats YOU!! give yerself a round of applause for being my friend!!.. no no, wait. i shall give you the round of applause for being my friend!! if not i'd be a really unhappy kid with no friends. *sniff*

have i mentioned that i lurrrrrve my friends?? *hawhaw*

"girl why cant you see yer the only one for me and it just breaks me up inside because you done know my nameeeeeeee.."
from the song My Band by D12 & Eminem.

2004-04-15T08:31:00.000+08:00

i just got off the phone with Sunny abt an hour ago. whoah. man.. i got home at abt 4am coz i went clubbing at phuture.

i actually hadnt planned on going clubbing at all but Sara DJ and Shuping were all like, "maddie! you have to go ynoe.. we're going coza YOU." and i felt damn paiseh and guilty so i went la. and t'was all really cool =)

i'd met Erwin earlier on in the evening and he wanted to buy me dinner but of course im on my non-existent diet so he only bought me a cookie and corn soup. and then he told me his budget for my present(even tho i did tell him that he didnt havta buy me anything at all), we went to topshop, i picked out long dangly earrings and he bought em for me. whee!! *grinz*

and then i met Sidney tinks, and she bought me a miniature bottle of Absolut Citron and Absolut Vodka each! at first i thought that she'd koped it, and i think she got a lil offended. i felt bad. but i was really quite touched that she bothered to buy smth for me, and i was quite amused actually. the bottles were miniature.. like her!! *hawhaw* how bloody adorable.

so we went to chinablack to drink for free. we had vodka cranberry and vodka lime and all that. we bumped into Clarence da ge, jensen and Mark there. they sat with us til Sid and i left for zouk.

Sidney, Shuping, Sara and i were dressed quite glam. i felt a lil stressed when Sara had told me the night before that Sidney and Shuping were gonna be dressing damn glam. so i wore my heels, jeans and this bareback glittery top. Gek Puay said that i looked damn hot! hahaha!! thanks for humouring me sweetie!! hahaha..

and then it began.. *dum dum dummm*

Shuping and Sara, my darlings, bought me a lambo each. and then Nabil bought me a lychee martini. Edwin wanted to buy me a drink too but thank bloody god he didnt coz i told him i wouldnt be able to take it(he said he'll buy me one next wek then), i barfed up TWICE. oh man. how bloody unglam.

and i am SO SO SO sorry coz Jarrod da jie's shoes and pants have got my puke on it. and so did Shuping's legs. omg. bloody frickin unglam. i asked em why they didnt stand away when i started to barf and they said that they did, but it 'splattered'. damn paiseh. i feel damn bad. really really sorry you guys, seriously.

and its Sunny's bday today! HAPPY BDAY SUNNY!! so cool right. we're gonna buy each other drinks next time!.. yea right. *smirx*

i saw quite a few other people as well and i was really happy to see em.. like Aarifah, and Yen. they were both bloody high. i went outside to sit at the bench(and puke the 2nd time round) and Aarifah sat at the bench next to mine with a guy who was helping her around.

Amanda had given me some water to drink and Aarifah just kept saying Hello. she just went like, "hello. hello. helloo. helloooo. hello. hello. hello." just repeating herself over and over and over again. and i said to her nicely, "Aarifah, if you dont shut up i'll throw my water at you okay?" she said, "okay!" but she continued with her Hellos. so i threw my water at her. most of it didnt get her tho. i feel a lil bad when i think abt it now. then i turned to throw the glass into the bin next to me, but i was too lazy to throw it all the way inside, so it missed and crashed onto the floor and broke.

yea, wadever.

and i saw these girls from scgs there too. one of the girls said hi when i did, but this other chick just chose to behave like i wasnt there(wow did Manners come with the package girl?). so i felt kinda embarrassed when i went to the toilet with a Sidney and Gek Puay(i think.. i cant really remember).. and i didnt wanna take a piss so i just kinda squatted in a corner.. and later when the girls wanted to leave, i got up and i saw the scgs girls in the loo as well.

urghh!! how bloody annoying!! for em to see me in my state of weakness is such a BITCH for me!!

but yea. wadever la. i chilled after 5 seconds after realising it coz they arent important souls anyways, so why kick up a ruckus and get my paties in a bunch over it all right?

but you'd just think that some people could have some decent courtesy and manners. ah well. some of us have got better upbringing than the rest, i spose. *chortle*

and after clubbing, Jarrod da jie sent Shuping and me home. he sent Sidney to arthar's(this prata shop near my place) coz she was gonna meet her friend there. on the way, i was really thirsty(more like bloody dehydrated) and so we stopped at a petrol station and Jarrod da jie bought me a drink and this round pink metal thingy that had piglet on it. it contains sweets! i asked him to buy it for me, actually, and he did!! haha. i was really amused by it. coz t'was ROUND and PINK! yay!!

godd im sucha bloody ditz.

so yea. other stuff happened too, or i met other people, or smth, i cant really remember.. bad memory.. and i was inebriated at the time.. but yea, t'was all pretty cool.

and i wanna thank all the people who were there with me, and made everything happen, i really love y'all to bits.(is this an oscar speech or wot man??) seriously.

i barfed up twice, without you guys it wouldnt have been possible ;) with thanks especially going out to Sara Dj, Shuping and Nabil. and to you guys who were there with me at phuture by fluke or coz t'was planned, t'was awesome too. with thanks going out to Sidney tinks, Jarrod da jie, Amanda, Gek Puay, Gerald kor, El Paulo, Jeremy, Sunny and Edwin. i love y'all, seriously. you guys rock my socks off. *grinz*

wow. that was a full-blown Thank You Speech man. hardcore XXX [hell i fucking hope that i havent forgotten anybody.]

and i still love everybody. i was really touched by it all. thank you so very much, all of you =)

2004-04-14T14:07:00.000+08:00

i've been cutting my fringe on my own. i havent had a fringe for.. well, frickin years, so im not sure how a fringe is sposed to look.

arghh!! lil shreds of hair in mah eyes!! arrgghhh!!!

so anyways. its like when yer unaccustomed to smth, or not used to it, or new to it, you tend not to know where yer limets are or should be. so you either take overly-miniscule steps approaching the idea with much caution, or you throw caution to the wind and just charge right ahead.

i saw miniscule steps is better when it comes to small projects. take the steps needed in proportion to the project, i spose.

so. i've been talking too much. basically, all i did was trim off the yucky ends of my fringe. the curliness of it all was really starting to piss me off. and as some people would say, "if you want smth done, you gotta do it yerself."

i, for one, dont really believe in that saying unless yer a pro at what you think you gotta do yerself. leave it to the professionals, yo.

however, i cannot wait. i am impatient. so i cut my own hair just now. hair was all over the floor. for the first time in my life(or maybe twice or thrice).

it looks better. no more curly crap hanging off the edges of my hair.(actually there's still some but ahh, fuck it) but perhaps i shouldnt even have cut a fringe in the first place at the hairdresser's. should've just left my damn forhead naked and bald, ynoe ynoe.

so there's a definite improvement in my hair, texture wise. and i've decided to just, as usual, sweep the damn fringe to the side. godd. i hate fringes. bloody gets in my eyes and all. and i dont look too good with a retarded fringe either. christ. annoying.

the good bit is that i can sweep it to one side. and that its longer than it should so that means it'll take a shorter time to catch up with the rest of my hair length.

grow, hair, grow.(macham Jack and The Beanstalk sia)

hair in my eye.
sighh.
(im sucha natural poet i cant stand it..)
ooh!
haiku!!
(see what i mean? tho of course its not a haiku at all.)

i think im going back to sleep. kinda sleepy.(well, d'oh) and Sara and Shuping have been behaving rather suspiciously. hmm. i shall see what they be up to.. soon.. *dum dum dummm*

reading: Notes From Utopia by Jemima Hunt.

2004-04-13T15:28:00.000+08:00

a tribute to Good Friday and Easter. also, bunny rabbits and chocolate eggs, tho i'd much prefer it if the bunny rabbits were tabby cats instead.

this is for all those fellas out there who think that they've gotta show the world that theuy're 100% machismo but are all great big puddles of soft mushiness inside.. ynoe who y'are ;)

three cheers for yakult!!! who knows what they're putting in it.. but it tastes good! *grinz*

would i adore a daughter like Paisley?? she almost reminds me of, why, moi!

and this is so weird, i was on the samsung site, glanced at this picture coz t'was on the front page, and was like, "whoah!! what's Nelson Mandela doing on samsung's front page advertising photocopiers?!" major FREAKOUT, yo. but turns out that t'was just some other old afro-american dude. pssh. by the way, the machine boasts to "fax, copy, print and scan". mmm.. nice.

and ohh please godd you gotta be shitting me.. i dont really have 103 emails.. do i?

listening to: Pay The Man by offspring.
watching: Invader Zim. JOHNEN VASQUEZ IS AWESOME!!! this is the halloween episode, it absolutely rawwkks. and Gir had a really cute octopus on his head before he ate it. ee! how bloody frickin adorable. go go Invader Zim!!

also, CSI Miami starts this wednesday at 11pm. alright!

2004-04-13T14:15:00.000+08:00

im awake coz even tho i slept at 6am, i was rudely awakened from my sleep by the constant ringing of the phone. it takes quite a few calls before i'll actually rouse from my sleep, so when it kept ringing i was groggily thinking, "bitch, dammit, it must be my mother. must be smth important if not she wouldnt call the house so many times, over and over again."

so i get up to pick up the damn call, and its a wrong number. and im tired, groggy and pissed off, so i shout at the stupid woman, "WRONG NUMBER LA!!" and hang up on the stupid bitch. dumb fuck.

and i just got this woman calling my mobile, asking for judy. i told her politely(now that im awake, whatever manners i've got have been restored) that she's got the wrong number. she says, "okay." but she's called me 4 times since, even tho i've told her that its a wrong number. im tempted to pick up and tell her, "i've told you that its a wrong number, dont you GET it?? you bloody moron!!" but i dont wanna waste my hp bill, and besides, saying all that isnt very nice.(like i care)

so i just cancel her call over and over again. she can call as many times as she likes. *grinz*

today is Wrong Number Day. it is also Dumb Fuck Day.

and okayy. i am seriously in distress coz i've got a whole head of nice, straight hair cept for my 'fringe', which is not short or long, looks slightly strange and rather outta place, and worst of all, is puffy and curling at the ends!! rarghh!! okayy, i dont wanna sound like an airhead here, but.. MY HAIR!! *moans*

i rebond my hair to get it straight, not get it curly at the ends right where evrybody can fucking see it, for christ's sakes.

i can frankly say that i wish that i didnt havta rebond my hair.. its such an ah lian thing.. ergh. but its either to have insanely straight hair or insanely frizzy hair that makes me look like my parents were chinese and afro-american. and i am so not kidding. if my natural hair was even remotely near NORMAL(meaning it isnt frizzy as hell or curls like there's no tmr) i wouldnt go near a hairdresser and request for rebonding. sighh. poor me. poor wallet. rebonding doesnt bloody come cheap either. shite. luckily my mom pays! *beams*

i shall tuck my hair behind my ear. and when i wash it i shall pray(to whom im not sure as of yet) that my hair will miraculously fall into place and straighten itself, czo im too lazy to go all the way down to amara hotel to get em to straighten just that one bit of hair for me.(think abt it. 1 hour or more journey for 10 mins of hair straightening. it doesnt make any sense la)

and i was talking to Sara Dj on the phone last night and.. what can i say?? she's so sweet, i love that girl *grinz* i lurrrve yew Sara!! *harx*

anyways.

i wanna talk abt the mrt. or at least, what i've observed on the mrt. or what i feel abt stuff that happens on it. here are several real-life and rather unfortunate(for moi) situations:

Situation 1: kids bawling on the train.
now, i know y'all know how much this annoys me. kids crying their hearts out on the train doesnt happen everyday, but these past few days, i've encountered a wailing kid on the train at least once each day. i mean, cmon, what're the statistics of that actually happening ej?? im just bloody unlucky, i reckon.

these kids just cry and cry, their parents cant/wont stop em, and it just irks the hell outta me. i cant even tune em out when i turn up the volume on my discman.(which explains why im oging deaf these days) bloody brat. i fel like going up to the parents and telling em, "if you dont shut those brats up, i will." but i realise that thats quite a cliched line, so i dont bother.

there was even this one kid that cried til he coughed, and i was thinking, "yea great, just cry and choke til you die." man im evil, but i cant help it, these kids just cant shut their bloody yaps. and strangely, all the wailers on the train are always the boys. spoilt and pampered, i tell you. harrumph.

Situation 2: man digging ear on the train.
i was on my way to harbourfront mrt for a glorious tanning session and the train was, as usual, not very full. i was sitting opposite this guy on the train who looked like he was in his 20s, and he was reading a file of notes. nothing special, right?

there was nothing else to look at but him, so i was just sitting there stoning away, my eyes on his file.(ynoe how you gotta focus on a spot when yer spacing out? yeahh) and then, i see him dig his ear. i mean, thats better than picking yer nose, right?

then the dude takes his finger outta his ear, and smells the earwax on his finger. over and over again, he'd pick his ear, smell the crap on his finger, maybe flick it away or rub it on his file(i hope that he's not gonna be submitting that file to anybody. if he does, i i pity the bloke thats gonna be flipping thru the pages). and im like thinking, "eww!!"

the guy does this for like, 5 stops, man. he's barely even concentrating onthe contents of his file anymore, sniffing his own earwax is way more engaging. i know its rude, but i couldnt help staring at the guy. he's not just smelling his earwax, he's taking in deep breaths and sniffing it like a dog who smells cocaine in a luggage at the airport.

mm. yummy. that just whet my appetite. i feel hungry now.. lunch please!! *dingding*

Situation 3: starhub ads.
ynoe how when the train pulls up at any station, there're all these huge ads on the wall opposite the platform? yeahh. well. there were all these starhub ads, and i've been thinking abt the starhub ads they play on the telly as well, and i've decided that they're all pretty damn sexist.

no, really.

think abt it. besides this one ad advertising starhub cable, and there's a couple asking for a good wedding date, and another ad for cable where this couple are thinking of using celebrity names to name their kid, the rest're sexist.

its always the male who gets to do the talking, the girl's who's always the bloody sidekick. im talking abt 3 ads in particular, actually.
1)the one with the guy asking if its fair if he doesnt get to finish the sushi he buys, if he pays for more parking than he actually he parked for, and with birdcrap landing on his precious lime green volkswagon beetle(with his girlfriend looking pretty in the background). its the ad to show you that you get value for money with starhub.
2)the one with the dude receiving an mms with the 'hot new japanese hairstyle' and changing it to that, changing his hangout place to a club and looking cool, and playing mobile games with his chick(with his girlfriend looking pretty in the background). i think the ad's to tell you that you can get lotsa cool shite with starhub.
3)the one where the dude's bitching abt hos his sister, from young to now, always hogged everything.. the lego(you see him crying as he holds a small lego house and the girl sits in the background with a big lego house. see! even portrayed as kids, the female's in the background!!), the toilet, the phone. and then he says how, with starhub, they can have seperate coms.(with his sister looking pretty in the background) i dont know what that ad's sposed to advertise, actually. starhub cable.. i think.

in all the ads, the female is merely a prop, to emphasize what the male is saying. thw guy does all the talking. the ads were so obviously done by a advertising group made up mostly of men. how infuriating. and i cant stand how in the 2nd ad, the girl kisses the guy like she's so happy to be with him. dya see the guy ever showing to the girl that he's happy to be with her?? NO!!

those some might say that it isnt really that sexist, coz in the 2nd ad, the guy loses to the girl when they're playing a game on their mobile together, and he laughs happily. and in the 3rd ad, the sister has always been the one to gain while he was always on the losing end as they were growing up.

but what im saying(and cant stand) is how the male is always the main star in the ad, while the female does nothing but look pretty, and doesnt get to utter a word. okayy so in the other 2 starhub ads the female gets to talk as much as the male does, but my point is, how come there's never an ad with the female as the star?

sexist ads. bloody male chauvinist pigs.(i mean the advertising company) pffft.

listening to: No More I Love Yous by Annie Lennox. this song's a classic, i love it.

2004-04-13T02:30:00.000+08:00

i havent smoked for exactly 30 days!! i know. what a deal.

anyways. Phase One of Present Gig has been accomplished today. i got my mom to pay for my rebonding and i went today to get it done at amara hotel. sat there for 5 hours but i didnt feel tired at all. felt HUNGRY tho.. had a sub from subway after that.. and everything looks great(the hair, i mean. the sub was pretty too), just that i've been tempted for some time to get a fringe.

a fringe. now that really is just a phase for most people. lemme name the pros and cons of the 'fringe' that i've obtained today. lets start with the cons, since dealing with bad stuff is my specialty.

Cons
1)the fringe is only over my right side. fashionable for some, a lil retarded on me.
2)the fringe is a wee tad too long. ohh, make it too damn long. so its actually technically not really a fringe at all. its just hair thats cut to a shorter length.
3)the way the hairdresser cut it made my hair curl so i gotta go back tmr and force em to straighten it again using the straightening iron.

Pros
1)its smth different. yeahh. wadever, dude.
2)the fact that its still halfway long, not here nor there, makes it easier for me to hide it and tuck it away than if it was really cut shorter than t'was. tho this reason really makes one wonder why i even had cut a 'fringe' at all.. which was why i was rather annoyed, y'see, coz i treasure wadever hair length i've got and i might as well not have cut a fringe at all. but as i was saying..
3)the actual only 'good' thing to come outta all this is that when i tie my hair up my lonely bare forehead wont look so bloody naked.

but other than that, wadever. the whole of my head's got straight hair(thats a shorter lenght coz the previous ends of my hair was super damaged beyond repair and the amount of split ends was incredible. im sure y'all could tell) cept for that lil bit over my right eye and a lil beyond that. bloody spastic. hairdresser better use the damn straightening iron on me with a vengence tmr i tell you.

oh yeahh. and my hair's as dry as hell you could set my whole head alight wih just a flick of the lighter. however, if any of you out there try that, i'll torch yer house, possesions and family dog. if you've got a cat i'll adopt it. just thought i'd tell ya.

so that was Part One of Present Gig. i really couldnt think of anything else that i could ask my mom to get for me besides a gameboy advance, and i'd much rather have my hair rebonded and my samsung E700.

also, on sunday, i was sposed to meet Donovan after we were both done with the whole qing ming temple thang, but he got tied up with important stuff and couldnt meet me. and i was with my mom as she got her specs when he told me that he'd be tied up and all. so i decided that it'd be stupid if he only met me for a really short time frame so i told him that we needn't meet at all.

i got mad, tho, even tho it wasnt his fault that we couldnt meet up. as in, quite pissed off, seriously. so i was at the specs shop with my mom as she tried on different frames and asked for my opinion and i told her they were all ugly(which they were, but i could've been nicer abt it, i was just venting my anger on her). and right in front of me in the glass case were all the specs on display, and i saw one i decided that i liked, i tried it on, got my eyes tested, and made my mom buy it for me.

i know, im terrible, im a brat. but getting that pair of specs made(its a matt brown metallic frame, nothing big) for 300bucks(with my mom's money) made me feel a whole lot better and my anger at the whole Donovan-being-unable-to-meet-me episode just faded away into obscurity coz 1)i was getting smth new 2)t'was smth that wasnt cheap.

and i thought to myself, "wow! retail therapy DOES work!!" but then immediately after the thoughts were that, no, actually, retail therapy doesnt work ALL the time. it doesnt work if yer out to buy smth(probably expensive) to make you feel better and you cant find a single damn thing and you get even more pissed off. it doesnt work when you head out to the shops to get smth new and you find smth(probably expensive) but you dont exactly fall in love with it and you get more frustrated coz, damn this shite, this isnt what you WANT. and it doesnt work when you wanna buy smth and all you can get is some cheap, lousy alternative. as opposed to an expensive, lousy alternative, i spose its better for the health of yer wallet in the long run.

so. best retail therapy happens when you get smth you dont expect to get but yet you like the item you(or yer parent/spouse/friend/mate/whoever) are purchasing. it might be cheap, it might be expensive, but i gotta admit that it feels a lil better when its expensive.

my poor mumsie('s wallet).

so thats Phase Two. my new specs. i know, its kinda geeky, its a fundamental, basic Need instead of a Want, and people dont really consider Needs as proper presents as compared to Wants. but like i said, it dont matter la, wadever ynoe? just get it la.

once i collect my specs, Phase Two shall be complete. and when the E700 has been purchased, all three phases shall be over and done with. joy.

wah lau. i've been looking and examining my fringe and i really dont know what to do with it. cut it shorter? let it grow? tuck it away? wadever.

by the way, im back up on msn and online, so anyone can add me. check in with the email addy on the left sidebar. toodle-oo!

2004-04-11T03:49:00.000+08:00

yesterday was Good Friday!! not that its any of my concern, actually..

i went tanning by myself at sentosa again and i got myself the sentosa membership thang. pay 15 bucks and get a unlimited entry for a year. renewal of membership is 12 bucks. i mean, seriously, this is dirt cheap shite man.

and at night i met Kevin.. man i havent seen that bloke for bloody yonks.. it felt really good to see him after months and months. we went to Dbl O and sat there drinking and chatting the night away. i had 2 beers, he had 2 brandys(brandies..?), and we just caught up on old times(and new times). we sat there for like, 3 hours and the time just flew, i swear. i guess it happens when you dont meet people for frickin ages and when you meet em again, its like a 'WOW!! we've got SO much to talk abt! its incredible!' kinda thang ynoe.

and after that he dropped me off in a cab in town, and there i hung out with Sidney tinks and Sara DJ til 4.30am. damn late i swear. saw Gekpuay, El Paulo, Mark 6 and Kenneth too.

end of yesterday. i woke up this morning at 9+am coz i went tanning with my darling Ednaaaaaaaa. oo!! i love that girl to bits!! she says that i bring out the bimbo in her. do i really? do i really Edna na na?? that girl's got the new 7200, but of course i still prefer the samsung E700.(and my mom's gonna get it for me for my bday, too. alrighty then)

we just tanned the afternoon away, and we giggled and talked and everything.. that was really super cool. its just bloody lovely meeting up with old friend and having a ball with em, seriously. *grinz*

and after tanning i met Sara DJ, Sidney tinks, Ivan smooshy marshmallow, Amanda, Diana, Jarrod da jie and Shuping in town and we hung out. t'was pretty cool la. i was basically acting the fool and sticking this hot pink post-it note on my head(the note was for Amanda to stick in her diary to remind her that i owe her money). i'd written on it in chinese "owe money pay money" and i acted like one of those sad people who borrow money from loansharks but are never able to return the cash coza the high interest rate. so basically, i acted damn sad la, and we took photos. then i acted like a zombie, and we took some more pics.

alotta stupid pics la basically. of moi. muahaha. bloody retarded, but frickin entertaining for the whole family. rated [PG] coz of strong language used tho.

anyways. we also took a pic of all our arms. mainly Sara, Sidney, Amanda, Diana and my arms.. coz all of us have got different arm colours.. im even darker than Sidney now man!! only Shuping's darker than me man. she's the Royal Queen Of Darkness la. *harx*

but yea so anyways. i dont know why, but alluva sudden i noticed that when i was in town and all today, alotta malays were looking at me. i'd say checking me out, but that'd sound like too much of a compliment.

i've nothing against malays, trust me, i've got some really good friends who're malays. but it seemed to me that today, of all days, they'd be looking at me. just looking la. mebbe a glance. that kinda thing. weird. then later on, one of Sidney's friends asked her if i was malay.. so i guess that kinda solves the lil puzzle of why i was so 'looked at' today.

blah blah. wadever.

so anyway.. Jarrod da jie sent Shuping, Sidney, Sara(wah lau everybody's names start with S cept for mine. im.. unique!! *grinz*) and i home.. seriously.. reminded me of the past when Chang kor drove me and Kian-u around in his god bro's bmw and then we wound down the windows, blasted the music, stuck our heads outta the music, waved at passing cars, shouted and sang.. t'was just fun. ynoe. stupid fun, but still fun. *sighh* good times la.

anyways. t'was the exact same thing today, just that Jarrod was the designated driver this time, and t'was Shuping and me going mad la.

fucking retarded but fucking fun la. i spose we all crave for some, any, form of variation in our lives and it comes as these.. with the car speeding, Kelis blasting and we sticking our heads and limbs outta the windows. fun.

and now im home. im burnt, i hope i dont start moulting anytime soon. crappin hell. bday's around the corner, i cant afford to shed skin this week man.. dang it..

im listening to the cd Shuping burnt for me.. she's so nice haha.. thanks Shuping!! you sweet burnt girl!! *harx* i'll see y'all soon, we'll all hang out, and like Jarrod says, we'll "have a ball"!! *chuckle*

im pretty damn tired man. havent been getting adequate sleep these past few days.. urks.. gotta go pray and all with my mom for qing ming tmr and meet Donovan after that.. HELLBOY!!!

aye.. tlaking to Sara on the phone now.. cant multitask.. g'night y'all.

2004-04-09T04:04:00.000+08:00

i had work again tonight and i ended work at 11pm.

after that i hung out with Sara Dj, Sidney tinks and Jarrod dajie at.. where else.. lido macs. Gekpuay and Diana hung out with us too, but not for very long.

and i saw my cousin Matthew there too! he actually didnt see me but i saw his back and a lil bit of his profile and i shouted, "Matthew!!" i was really happy to see him coz he's a nice guy. ynoe, the one who's all smart and fit and all-rounded.

i went up to him and i said, "gimme a hug!" and he was so shy, so cute, he smiled and said, "dont want!" hahaha.. shite.. bloody amusing. i mean, to me la. so yea. idle chat for awhile, and then i went back to my table. he was with a whole table of guys lor. those alpha males.

and Jarrod dajie did alotta funny shit man. he twirled his hair out and posed lil a pretty girl for my camera. he also did some funky(i believe that the word is subjective *harx*) dance moves, which i also caught on camera. ah hell.. he's one funny dude man.. im glad he's my da4 jie4.. aye SHUPING!! Jarrod damn funny la!! you lucky girl!! i mean.. ynoe.. umm.. nothing?

*smirx*

well.. the bunch of us didnt hang out too long at lido macs either.. we popped the joint at abt 1.30am i think. and then i came home, washed my hair, msged Donovan, talked to Sara on the phone, msned Sidney, checked out crap online, listened to the radio..

im a bloody pro multi-tasker y'all.. where's the applause, yo?!

and i gotta steal a few winks now.. im still sleep-deprived. and im meeting Kevin tmr i think, i havent seen him in bloody ages coz he's been busy with the army and tennis competitions. or was it swimming competitions? okayy wadever. and then i shall ask him who's the latest lil plaything he's caught up with now. *chuckle*

aight, toodles~!

2004-04-08T14:52:00.000+08:00

afternoon, sweeties. this is the earliest i've been up in a long while.(if i aint tanning or going off to work la, ynoe)

i had work yesterday, and after that i went home, changed into clubbing gear, and met Erwin for dinner. he's started buying the Sandman graphic novel since i last met him coz i told him Sandman rocks everybody's(who's read it) socks off. we ate dinner(more like HE ate, i just bnibbled on a mos cookie and koped his fries). then we walked around awhile, and coz there were alotta kiddies from the police academy out(like Erwin, he's one of em) i'd point at em and exclaim loudly, "hey Erwin!! yer friends!!!" but ynoe, they arent actually his friends, they're just people from the police academy as well. soon we'd bump into a few of em over and over again and then they'd point at erwin and it'd be their turn to exclaim loudly, "hey, my friend!!" and i'd say, "yeahh! yer friend, Erwin!" he got so malu-ated man.

cheap thrill for me la. so then he had to go off back to the police academy or wadever. and then i went clubbing with Sara DJ and Sidney tinks. we drank beer at the kopitiam first, buying each other bottles. Nabil and Sharil sat with us. its such a small world, but Sharil's the ex of one of my female friends and i'd actually met him once like, 3 years ago and didnt like him coz i was on the side of the ex-boyfriend(Dasson) of my female friend. then we went into phuture, i didnt expect to end up with so many people, but we did.

like: Jensen, Clarence, Nabil, Sharil, Rama, Gekpuay, her sister(i so couldnt catch her name.. isit Gek Ping? Gek Ting?), Edmund, Jeremy, El Paulo, Amanda, Chelsea.. and of coucrse Sara and Sidney la. i saw Edwin there once again, he always looks half-stoned, and ocne again Sascha twinny wasnt there. i also met Syafiq and Najib there too, and Syafiq was like, "what sia maddie! every week i see you here la!" hahaha.. liek i said, its always good seeing my polymates.

anyways. besides the beer i drank at the kopitiam, i only had a sip of Jensen's bacardi and a bottle of Edmund of E33 that Edmund bought for me. he bought Sid and Sara a bottle each, too.

i didnt get high or wadever, but lets just say that my spirits felt uplifted. Sid's heels were hurting her so she actually took em off but no worries, i think Nabil was holding em for her. *evil chuckle* heheheheh. and Sara's heels were killing her too. but my heels were fine and i danced the entire night away. the music was considerably alot better than last week at phuture so i was grateful for THAt, too. i danced til my leg muscles cramped a lil, til they hurt, and at the end of the night when i walked outta zouk, my legs were a lil wobbly.

but of course, i've got too much poise to let anybody see THAT.

anyways. at the end of the night, Sid and i got into Jensen's car, and Sara got into Clarence's car *cough* and we all went to eat chicken rice at river valley. i didnt feel that hungry, but i just kept eating. crappy food, but i still ate. and Jensen told me that when i was dancing at phuture i was damn drama mama, doing all those actions and everything heh. you gotta see it yerself la ynoe.

and then we all went home. and er.. it took a lil longer for me to direct Jensen to my house from Sid's place coz i didnt know how to. so eseentially, i didnt do alotta directing, i just did alotta "oh!" and "errmm.." and "oh shit! i think.. mm.." and then Jensen would havta reverse and go onto another road. he says that he's used to it from other people already, this is nothing.

ynoe. this kinda thing that shows that i dont know how to go home despite living at my current state of residence for 8 or 9 years. i so suck. and Jensen asks me when im gonna get my driving licence. pssh.. yeahhh right, dude..

well. anyways. i bought another bottle of perfume again yesterday so im slowly but surely going broke. i definitely wont last til when i get my next pay.(its so far awayyyyyy.. ..) so im actually really looking for another job now. like, thru the classifieds. but everything's so vague and ambiguous and sound so suspicious that it annoys me. i'd actually called up a few of those companies before to check em out first and it never ceases to irk me the way they wont reveal anything much but yet ask you to go down to their place for a bloody interview and you've gotta look for the damn place in the hot, burning sun in yer interview clothes, pouring off buckets of sweat and cursing all the way.

not that i've actually gone down, of course.

and no more classified ads for me.

so yea. i spose i'll ask Jenny for more info abt her job at the irish pub and mebbe if everything sounds feasible enough i'll work there.. if they even need extra help..

plus i was sposed to go tanning today anc i'd actually collapsed into bed after i'd bathed and all at abt 5.40am(leaving the living room lights, room lights and radio on) and i hadnt even set the alarm clock. but i awoke with a start this morning, realising that i was sposed to go tanning, and i realised that i'd only woken up half an hour later(10.30am) than the stipulated time and i realised that wow! i woke up witout the aid of an alarm clock after a night of clubbing and i didnt even get up THAT much later! i totally rule!

and then i told myself that for being such a pro, i could afford another 15mins of sleep, and then i conked out for 2 hours and 45 mins.

im too pro la, ynoe.

but i pacified myself by telling myself that it aint that great a day for tanning anyways, its a lil cloudy. wadever. im going tmr. and the day after that man. wadever it takes to make a bronze-skinned gorgeous goddess!!.. er. i mean, waever it takes to get me tanned.

and i've got work later from 6 to 10.. at least i'll be able to make it home in time for The OC!!

yeahh. gotta go read webcomics now. bye y'all. have a nice day. legs.. still aching..

listening to: Til I Get Over you by Michelle Branch. i love this song to bits. i dont understand how one radio channel can say that its a new song when its been playing on the other radio channel for bloody yonks. owell. minute discrepancies, who cares, as long as they play the song.

2004-04-07T01:15:00.000+08:00

i caught The Passion Of The Christ on sunday night with Donovan. i spose it lives up to its somewhat infamous reputation of being an overly gory movie that doesnt go too deeply into the life of Jesus Christ.

of course, its only 2 hours, how much of even YOUR life can we condense into 2 hours right? ignore this sentence if yer a really boring person or if you've led a really boring life.

okayy.. the movie was a lil.. heart-wrenching. i cried at 2 bits, well, more like teared(there's a big humongous gigantic difference). the 1st time i teared was when Jesus was getting his body whipped up by the roman soldiers as his punishment. omg. seriously, majorly, OUCHH. you could feel his pain.. smoewhat.. ynoe.. t'was close enough. the 2nd time i teared.. i cant exactly remember when t'was, what with my memory being so screwed up and all and me not being on my medication.. but i think t'was the time Jesus was carrying(more life dragging, really) the cross during the lil procession and Mother Mary came up to him. i think t'was that time.. cant remember.. wadever.

and i had work today. wadever that, too.

the important thing is that i got my Mango top exchanged for a size S(yea yea, screw the fact that im not an XS already, will ya). and i bought a white belt with people's faces printed on it in black. i couldnt decide between the red or the white one, but thanks to Sara DJ, Sidney tinks and the shop owner, i decided to get the white one. plus, i bought a sling bag with cartoon monkey heads printed all over the damn thing. you've got the same smiling ape, but wearing black or red caps backwards like the american baseball fans of the 80s. its a simply ridiculous bag, but i had to have it once i saw it. i bought both the bag and belt from the same shop in far east.

im starting to like far east alot. its got alotta funky shite there, yo.i like funky shite.

im starting to really like monkeys too. if i dont, explain my amusement with my pink macdonald's monkey(besides the fact that its pink), the monkey bag i bought today and the paul frank pouch that im using now. and paul frank is quite, quite passe and yet im starting to fall in love with paul frank. actually, more like Julius the Monkey. man, i'd never name my kid Julius. what a faggoty name.

so. anyways.

im working tmr again. im not exactly happy coz im not getting as many slots at work as i'd like to. i mean, the money i keep spending on stuff has gotta come from SOMEwhere ynoe. and i unfortunately dont happen to just be printing money outta my ass.

i need more work dammit!! if anyone could get me another job i sure would 'preciate it, mister und missus.

HELLBOY's coming out and i seriously, seriously cannot wait for it!! of course, i'll havta wait, no matter what, so i shall, albeit a tad impatiently. hellboy is so bloody fucking cool man. bloody awesome. spiderman.. wot? batman.. old fart! superman.. so passe. rescus rangers.. you gotta be kiddin me right?

Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy
Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy Hellboy

13 rows of wonderful Hellboy!! *grinz* he is so cool. SO COOL!!! and yer gonna agree with me!!

by the way, have you heard Clay Aiken's new single 'Solitaire'? i mean, im not a fan of the dude, and if i could i'd change the channel on the radio every damn time any song of his pops up(unplesasnt surprise each time, i tell you) coz to me, they're just bloody piss boring. and that warbling of his, urgh.. every song's the same! christ.(pardon the pun, if you will, thank you)

but wow. its amazing. 'Solitaire' truly surpasses every other single by being the most dreary and unimaginative song ever sung. i never thought that it'd be possible for me to actually really strongly dislike a song as much as i do 'Solitaire'.

i mean, of course there're times when i dont like songs, but this one.. im just amazed that its even allowed on the radio at all. it bores me to tears, i swear. every note is dragged out, the lyrics incredibly dumbassed, and of course there's the typical Clay Aiken warbling. the song should be BANNED from having any airplay on the radio at all. i mean, cmon, the number of traffic accidents will be on the rise coz drivers everywhere will be falling asleep at the wheel when the song comes on. the death toll will rise, the economy will crumble, humanity will cease to exist.. and all because of one piss boring lousy song!!

BAN SOLITAIRE(the song)!! aieeeeee..!!!!

so yea. i gotta go now. work at 12pm tmr. *yawnn* i hope that there're customers or i'll be bored as hell.(but not as bored if i hear 'Solitaire')

ynoe what. i think blasting 'Solitaire' into a terrorist's ears 24/7 will drive him insane and he'll spill wadever info the police wants coz he knows he'll go mad if he hears that Clay Aiken trill just.. one.. more.. time..

okayy gonna go. i love y'all. *muacks*

listening to: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane.

2004-04-04T16:38:00.000+08:00

im waiting for Donovan to pick me up so i decided to blog. i would've gone to town myself(heyy, im an independent woman, what can i say?) but its raining bloody heavily so i cant.(heyy, independent women dont carry uncool umbrellas out aight)

but anyways. i just wanted to say how RED i am today. please, dont think off the straight path here yea? i mean that im just in this completely Red Zone today.

first off, im wearing my red mango shirt. my new red mango shirt. my new red mango shirt thats a size too small.(damn i knew i wasnt an XS) im gonna get it exchanged after im done wearing it today and washing it. i'd return it today but i dont wanna pull the shirt off my head and get my makeup on my shirt and lipstick in my eyes. also, it smells of perfume and i dont really wanna return it like that. you ask me incredulously, "dont tell me you only realised that yer shirt was too small for you only after you'd put on all yer makeup and perfume? how slow are you maddie??" and i'll reply, "yes, i am ashamed, i only realised that my shirt was too small for me only after i'd put on all my makeup and perfumy. i am very very slow."

*sniff*

so anyways. and im wearing my *mainly* red ol skool adidas jacket over my red mango top. also, my paul frank purse is red. and the case that i've decided to put Donovan's phone in to protect it from any further injury(did i say "further"? i didnt mean "further", no i didnt, nup nup) is black with these chinese designs on it..

so, im in the Red Zone today. britney may just be in the zone, but it sure dont compare to being in the Red Zone. hardcore XXX

aight Donovan just msged me to tell me that he's on the way. and i may get Zero 7's new album.. cant remember the title of the album tho.. smth 'place' smth.. memory.. goin crazy.. rarrrgghh..

listening to: Naughty Girl by Beyonce.

2004-04-04T03:33:00.000+08:00

its pretty damn annoying man. Sara DJ just told me just now that my previous post aint showing. bloody bleedy blogger bugger. aint alliteration dandy?? *grinz*

but anyways. i had work yesterday.. Jolene and Shupz came to visit us, so cute! haha.. but Gekpuay and i worked 10 hours together.. its bloody tiring at the end of the day man seriously. legs aching.. mind spacing out.. whooooo..

and as for today, i went to sentosa to tan alone. im HOW brave right.. i know i know la.. no need to tell me la.. really.. (heh actually Sidney tinks has gone tanning on her own gajillions of times.. im an amateur compared to her)

t'was pretty good actually. i just do my own shit and i dont havta accomodate anybody. dont get me wrong, i like tanning with other people, its fun to have somebody to talk(or bitch. or gossip. wadeevr rocks yer boat ynoe) with and company's great when it gets hot and boring. but when im alone, i really REALLY can just do my own shite.. ynoe what i mean.. ynoe ynoe..

mebbe i wont do this every time i go to tan, im not some beach hermit after all *hawhaw* but today it felt especially good, perhaps coz i got alone time for quite a few hours and i got *half* a tan doing it. kill 2 birds with 1 stone, as they saw.(just wondering, if you were ambidextrous, does it mean that you can kill 4 birds with 2 stones?)

and after tanning i went to town to meet Sara DJ. we bumped into Marcus and his nice friend Elizabeth and we all sat down and had a nice talk. and then they left, and Ivan smooshy marshmallow came along to join us. then Diana came to meet us later, too. people came and went, but this was the main group: Sara DJ da jie, Diana, Jeremy, Shuping, Jarrod da jie and Sidney tinks. Marcus came and went alot.

yeahh.. i've got 2 Da Jies now.. i find it amusing, really. Sara Ann Chia is my da jie.. like she could ever advise me on anything.. *mmph!* just kidding. she's a wise OLD sage, she is. *smirx* and Jarrod's my da jie too, i dont know how it came abt but its pretty damn funny coz he acts all faggoty. Jeremy's throne has been usurped, somebody call the guards!

i didnt go for Clifford bro's party at Rav and i feel a tad guilty abt it, but i think it went alright, so its all cool. i think. umm. and i bumped into Dan da man in town. i swear, its really good meeting the polymates in town from time to time. i also saw Cherie, and we talked. i mean, i havent seen her since we graduated from scgs like 3 years ago? she's got hot pink streaks in her hair. everyone does. Joycelyn does. even this girl on the street today. three: thats quite a big number since hot pink streaks in hair isnt exactly a common choice among the mundane sporeans.

anyways.

i bought more stuff today.. like this Mango top. i tell my friends(and myself) that i bought it for school, but actually i bought it coz i was just itching to buy smth and the red Mango tee was decent-looking and bloody affordable. then Diana wanted to go to far east to get her skirt altered, and there i bought this 2nd-hand adidas jacket. i picked it out, Sara DJ(i just realised that DJ could stand for Da Jie as well.. how convenient!!) confirmed that it looked good(so dont take too much credit for the jacket aight Sara sweetheart!), and i bought it. t'was very extremely affordable, plus its pretty ol skool. i quite love it. too bad the weather's just too frickin hot these days for me to wanna wear it anytime soon. mebbe in the movies. helloooooo Donovan!! we're gonna be watching alot more movies when we go out!!

anyways. Jarrod dajie and i were making plans for everybody to just go out and eat on-ee. ynoe, that yam dessert. that is, seriously, bloody bloody good shite. i adore on-ee. during chinese new year, some cousins left earlier, so Matthew cuz and i walloped like, 4 bowls each. hardcore XXX

anyways. i cant wait. on-ee!! mmmm.. yummm.. *slobber* and as i was telling Shuping&Jarrod just now, i woke up one slobbering all over my hand. i dont know why. i cant remember what i was dreaming abt.. hopefully i wasnt dreaming abt eating human meat, coz i've dreamt abt that before.

owell.

and i was at the bus stop at ck tangs just now waiting to take my nightrider. i was sitting on the last seat at the bus stop, and the only other people there were these two young ladieez sitting on the seat in front of mine. i was plugged into the radio and i was completely tuned out to my surroundings, just *im*patiently waiting for my bloody bus.

and i noticed that there was this man standing next to me, but i didnt pay any attention to him, actually. but then it got a tad weird, coz i was sitting pretty still and his arm brushed on my shoulder. that was when i tuned back to Planet earth and became aware of my surroundings(the Sense Of Touch is such a marvellous thing). and i realised that the bugger was standing frickin close to me. and im like thinking, "wtf man. the whole bus stop is bloody big and he must stand so fucking close to me."

i mean, think abt it y'all. if he wants to stand around my area so that he can see the bus number better, el no problemo. but stand SO close to me that his arm can actually brush my shoulder?? thats how damn close he was standing to me. that prick. the bu stop is big for a reason ynoe, asshole.

so i started holding onto my paper bag coz i was really paranoid that he'd kope my precious adidas jacket and run and then i'd die. no wait, correction, he'd die. and i also clenched one of my fists so that in case he wanted to touch me, i'd punch his fucking lights out. or break his nose, wadever.

en passant, i've always been intrigued by that whole thing abt how you can kill a person just by punching his nose straight up coz the bones in the nose break off and pierce the person's skull. frankly, i think thats just amazing. its such a quick and effective way of killing a person. but apparantly you need a decent amount of strength to carry off that feat so, i guess it'll be a No-Go for me.

anyways. so i was listening to my music, holding onto my paper bag with my right hand and clenching my fist with my left, and still the guy didnt push off. seriously ynoe, some people are just such dipshits. then the guy said smth to me, but i ignored him and pretended to be listening to my music. which i was. then he kinda touched my shoulder and asked me for the time. so i gave him the bloody time.

then he showed me his watch, which was one of those that you had to turn a lil dial if you wanted to adjust the time. he asked me if i knew how to adjust his watch coz he didnt know how to. i said No immediately, but im thinking, "okay this guy is either 1)really bad with pink-up lines 2)a maniac waiting to burst and i dont know wadahell he's got planned or 3)just so fucking stupid that he cant even adjust the bloody time for his watch."

and the moron couldnt take a hint ynoe. he asked me again if i could adjust the time for him coz he couldnt, and i said, "im sorry, no i dont know how to." i mean, cant you tell when not to freak a girl out, mister? and he kept asking if i could adjust the time on his bloody watch, and i insisted that i didnt know how to. i was also thinking that if i took his watch to adjust(the watch looked pretty old and worthless), the bugger would steal my paper bag with my adidas jacket in it. MY adidas jacket okayy.

please note that i rejected his requests nicely and smiled the whole time i was rejecting him.

so the guy didnt bother me for awhile and i was thinking, "okay this isnt so bad, if anything happens, there're those 2 ladieez in fronta me." and what should happen but those 2 got tired of waiting for the nightrider and hailed a cab.

i swear, i thought to myself right there and then, "omg, im alone, im dead(perhaps literally) if this guy does anything to me." and when they left, he asked me again to adjust his bloody goddamn watch for him. i seriously felt like freaking out. i mean, this guy really cant take a hint ynoe?

seriously, if t'was in the day and everything, i'd gladly attempt to adjust his watch for him. but cmon, its 12.30am and im alone at the bus stop, stuck with this freak who stands so damn close to me that he can touch me without barely moving a muscle when he's got the entire bus stop to stand around at. Amanda would understand the Personal Space thing, and t'was so incredibly applicable right there and then man.

i mean, for propriety's sake, just bugger off and leave me alone, ynoe.

well anyways. my nightrider soon came and i rushed up the bus coz i was genuinely a lil creeped out by this dude(who had a filipino accent, i dont know if that implies anything) and i was kinda worried he'd come up the bus with me but he didt. i actually breathed out a sigh of relief when he didnt follow me up the bus man.

adjust his watch for him coz he couldnt.. pssh.. wadever dude! you cant even stand a metre away from me(dynoe how short a meter is?) and you want me to adjust yer watch for you?? and NO i will not give him a break y'all. he creeped me out, yo.

and i gotta talk abt my wisdom tooth. gotta keep the world updated coz its so interesting and exciting. whoo! the growth of my wisdom tooth!!

so.
1)its still growing, and i still think that the entire process is quite exciting and that my wisdom tooth is adorable. now i know how pregnant women can think that their unborn babies are so adorable when all they can see is a splotch on the screen when the gynae checks em out.
2)the dentist has taken an x-ray of my teeth before, wayy before my wisdom tooth started to grow. i dont know why he took the x-ray, but i went to see the dentist coz i was grinding my teeth and all that. basically, the dentist saw my wisdom teeth hiding in my gums and said that i'll probably havta extract em all if they ever grew out coza the way they were placed.
3)my tooth currently only aches a lil. however, Shuping's wisdom tooth is fully grown but still aches from time to time, and aches so badly that she cant even eat. so painful. *erks* and Jarrod dajie has had his wisdom tooth extracted and.. this is the kinda scary bit.. he had to have 6 injections before they extracted his wisdom tooth, which was a surgical operation that lasted an hour.

wow. i am so looking forward to that. wheee!!!!!

i told him that i just wanna see how much my tooth can grow out and how painful it can get before i really havta go and get it extracted but he said that it'll be too late by then, it'll be hurting like a bitch by then.

i take on yer challenge, wisdom tooth. you dont scare me!! but the 6 injections do.. hell..

anyways. im meeting Donovan later on today(coz today's technically sunday, ynoe ynoe) so i think i'll pop off to bed soon. the only reason im online is coz 1)i wanna attempt to rectify the whole blooger-screwing-up situation and 2)i washed my hair and im waiting for it to dry.

gonna buy more stuff tmr. mebbe i'll buy my mom's Mothers' Day pressie and her bday pressie(its in may, too. bye bye money) now coz 1)i wont havta worry abt the rpessies when the time actually rolls around 2)i wont spend my money on anymore wasteful stuff. but im rooting more for Number (1) than Number (2) la ynoe. coz i dont really spend my cash on anything wasteful.. i mean, ynoe.. like.. umm.. ynoe, nowadays, i dont la.. yarr.. mm.. yup. yup, i dont. yup.(you say it only for self-confirmation, maddie. tsk tskk.)

by the way, have you heard? enrique Iglesias is coming to town and i dont give a fuck.

aight. gonna sleep soon. screw the wet hair. bad hair day later on la thats all. ugh. so what's new..?

listening to: Just Because by Jane's Addiction.

2004-04-02T01:25:00.000+08:00

i had work yesterday afternoon at FOTT working with Sidney tinks, and then Sara DJ came down, and from 4.30pm to 7.30pm we gave out FOTT vouchers at raffles.

i never actually thought that i'd be doing such a thing since i'd always regarded it as degrading and meaningless work. unfortunately(for me), money's a motivating factor, and since FOTT offered to pay me *very* slightly more to give out vouchers, i agreed to do it. i wasnt doing anything anyway, earn money la, ynoe ynoe.

it aint easy work, as im sure y'all know. even if you've never given out flyers/vouchers/ wadever in yer entire life to earn an extra buck, im sure you can tell(unless yer bloody blind) that it aint easy doing such work. how many times have you walked past the poor bastards standing out there, possibly in the hot sun, giving out these crappy pieces of paper that 90% of you dont even give half a rat's ass abt eh?

Sid managed to give her stack out the fastest(coz she's so cute all guys and girls'd just take anything from her ynoe ynoe), i was in the middle, and Sara was.. errrhhh.. the slowest.

but lets not dwell on how sloowwwwww Sara was *harx*. after giving out those vouchers and tall Eric bought us ice cream from mac's to reward us for our hot and tiring slavery, we went home, changed, and then we headed down to zouk. i was with Sara DJ, Sidney tinks, Clarence and Shuping&Jarrod(they come as a pair to me now, conjoined twins glued at the hip.. its so schweeeeeet). yeahh!! i can finally spell his name!! YEAHHH!!!! i totally rock.

on my way to zouk Chai and Eldon saw me(Chai was driving) so they sent me there too, but not after picking up Jan, Pris and Kensukeeee. t'was good seeing em all and crapping around with em i swear.

once i hit zouk tho i seperated from em, and i stayed with Sara DJ&co. we didnt drink too much, and unfortunately the music at phuture wasnt too rawkin. i saw Edwin there, Sascha twinny was at home.. too bad.. it would've been nice to see him. i met Celine too, i only met her coz the dude she was dancing with was digging his shoulder into Clarence's back. i turned around and ta-daa! t'was her! so i just told her that her guy was invading our space and they moved a lil.

and then i bumped into Chai&co at phuture.. they were dancing alomost right next to our group! i thought that they'd be at zouk. but anyway, after i said hi to em(again) and all i turned back to Sara&co and Chai just started messing my hair. like, rub rub rubbing my head for like 4 seconds. i got kinda pissed off so i turned around and grabbed the front of his shirt and i think Kensuke thought that i was gonna punch Chai or smth so he held me back tight(go figure, as if i'd ever ever punch Chai) but.. i think i ripped a lil of Chai's shirt, i felt it(def not heard it) rip. owell.

i bet he's gonna wear his shirt out the next time and he wont know that its ripped til somebody tells him, "heyy Chai you've got a huge hole in yer shirt where yer armpit is." and then he'll figure out that i tore it(it'll probably be weeks later til he wears that shirt again) and he'll think, "oohh.. maddie.. that bitch.."

but he's really really nice, so he wont say anything. besides, he's got loads of other shirts.

and its happened before, that hole-in-the-armpit-shirt thang. Dasson and all of us were at Chai's place and Chai was wearing some chappalang shirt. and then he raised his arm and there was this HUGEass hole where his armpit was. and Janmeet and i were jacking Chai la ynoe, asking him if he needs aeration in that particular area or smth.

man.. i miss those guys..

anyways. Shuping&Jarrod, Sara Dj, Sid and i just danced at phuture, and i seriously felt like smashing the bloody dj on the head man. the mf'er was playing crappy music, at times just drum&bass, and when he DID play good songs, he only played a chorus, or a vewrse or two. i got pretty annoyed with him, i'd just watch him spin shitty songs on the lil telly screen on the wall at phuture, and picture myself clubbing his head with a baseball bat and him dropping to the floor and they'd get their resident dj to spin and it'd be good. i just hope the dj spinning wasnt the resident dj.

anyway hor.

the company was pretty good last night tho. i like clubbing with this bunch. there was this one point when i was just dancing and then whooop! i was in the air!! my brain was like, "whoah why am i in the air?" but turns out that Jarrod had just lifted me right up and he was carrying me and i was just swayin to the beat and doing the peace sign. everybody was looking at me, and i was doin the Peace sign. with both hands. how much more retarded could i look balls? and then he carried me again later on. i so did not anticipate it man! okayy la Jarrod.. its ACKNOWLEDGED la.. yer Mr Muscle Man la.. (Shuping i know yer reading this! go tell Jarrod he's Mr Muscle Man k?? *harx* he's your Mr Muscle Man!!)

and after zouk the bunch of us went to newton to eat. Sara and i got into Clarence's car while Shuping&Jarrod got into, well, Jarrod's car. my murtabak cost me 5bucks. i didnt spend a cent the whole night(thanks to Jarrod for buying us all lychee martinis! cheers!) and then i go to supper and spend 5 bucks and a measley, ugly, unappetising, fattening murtabak. you did good not eating that murtabak Shuping. no wonder yer so frickin thin! arghh!

by the time i got home and all t'was like, 4+am or smth, and then i talked to Sara DJ on the phone before collapsing into bed at 5+am. and then i still had work today. woww. yippee. whoo. whee. fuck man.

more voucher distribution for me! Sidney was sposed to work with me too but i think she was too smashed from last night so she didnt come in today. i was like, half an hour late for work but t'was alright la. after work i cashed my cheque, came home, bathed and collapsed into bed *once again* at 5pm and conked out for 4 straight hours.

and i've just been moving in slo-mo after 9pm, watching telly and talking to Sara Dj and eating cheezels. i like cheezels. they're so cheezy. mm. mmmm.

my brain is, like, fucking slow today la. i was bloody shagged at work and i gotta get to bed soon, im working a full shift tmr, and i start at bloody 11am. man. the only reason why sort Eric gave me more shifts this week is coz im working on friday night this week. which is, technically, later today. and its good, coz money is always good, im not complaining but it can get tiring especially when i gotta give out vouchers and what-have-you. i think that i should get paid more for giving em out, seriously. Sara, Sidney and i all should get paid more. *sighh*

gotta go to bed now. im such a lifeless piece of crap i swear. mebbe i'll hit the beach on saturday and get my well-deserved tan. i really really need it. even short Eric could tell that my tan had faded, thats how bad it is. *shudder*

i stand next to Shuping and Sidney and i feel like a ghost. i wonder how Sara feels.. *chuckle* just kidding babe, im just kidding. Sara's super tanned la, she's as dark as charcoal la. seriously. wah. hardcore tanned la. *smirx*

g'night y'all. *yawwnnn* i feel like such a grown-up sleeping so early man. i have left my youth behind. old age and senile dementia is hot on my heels(or as fast as they can move).

listening to: My Band by D12 and Eminem. i LOVE this song to bloody bits!!!! its bloody hilarious and its still sing-along-able. the ENTIRE song rawwwwkks. ynoe how there're some songs you just listen to coz you like the chorus and you cant wait for the verses to be over? well, this aint one of em sweetheart, the whole damn song rocks.

"these chicks dont even know the name of my band
but they're all on me like they wanna hold hands
coz once i blow they'll know that i be the man
all be-cause im the lead singer of my band."

2004-03-30T06:02:00.000+08:00

mm. i agree. its hip. "urban" is good.

2004-03-30T04:15:00.000+08:00

i've been eating tons of yoghurt recently. i keep devouring cups of em each day, and my mom keeps loading the fridge back up. the same goes with yakult, too. its like a magical fridge. i never see it being topped up, but the yakult and yoghurt never ever runs out. i've got a magical fridge!! whooooo!!

at last count, there were 15 bottles of yakult and 12 cups of yoghurt in the fridge. i've consumed 3 cups of each today, so logically we're now down to 12 bottles of yakult and 9 cups of yoghurt. and if you can do yer math, you could've stopped reading 2 sentences ago, but i spose its too late for that now.

yoghurt, anyone?

and i just cut my nails. they were getting too damn long for their own damn good(if only i could say the same abt my hair.. damn stuff never seems to grow). they looked good, but they were too long. getting in the way of everything. cant wash my hair properly without scratching out my scalp, gotta carry stuff with care lest i break the damn nail off. "ENOUGH!!", i say. cut!(i know, i was born to be a director, i know i know. i say "cut!" with such conviction yarr)

oh yeahh ynoe i was watching an old episode of Johnny Quest this afternoon and there was this one bit when Johnny, Jessie and Haji were in the unused train tunnels underneath Grand Central stop. and then all these homeless people suddenly appeared and attacked em.

i thought t'was funny. cmon, think abt it: you've got these 3 good-looking kids(tho Haji is, undoubtedly, the most intelligent one. go go asians!!) exploring(well, actually, looking for a rare white bengal tiger, but wadever rocks yer boat) in the tunnels and then alluva sudden, all these hobos just rise up from the trash and dirty newspapers and whatnot and just go roaring(no, seriusly, they were roaring) up to these kids to attack em coz they're invading their territory. im like thinking to myself, "wow. angry hobos." as i watch the cartoon, coz its like that movie Dawn Of The Dead ynoe, y'got all these neverending troops of zombies coming up to you to eat yer eyes out. but instead of angry zombies, y'got angry hobos.

ANGRY HOBOS.. that just sounds funny. as in, funny-weird and funny-haha, ynoe what im saying. cmon!! its funny!!

and on saturday [i forgot to mention this even tho it aint important but then again i spose you could ask me, "what is, Maddie? whats important? and i'd say, "i dont know you dipshit fuck off." cept that i'd say it in my head and you wouldnt know i was thinking it at all but in yer face i'd just say, "i dont know la wadever go away."] before i met Sara DJ and Sidney tinks, i went to Surfbabe and bought myself a hot pink Voodoo Dolls bag and a matching(matching as in, they could be a set, same patterns and all) hot pink Voodoo Dolls lil pouch. they were identical, really, cept for the size. and as Haugeng er ge also said, the bag's got straps and the pouch doesnt. i said, "astute observation, Haugeng."

anyways.

my point is that i gotta stop buying bags. i spose its coz i cant find any decent-looking clothes out there to buy, nothing looks good on the racks(or on me) so i dont wanna waste my cash on em. but the bag and pouch! hot pink!! *shiver* look the colour's so nice it made me shiver!

but really, i gotta stop buying bags and pouches. seriously, Maddie, stop it k. dont go nuts, girl.

i swear, im gonna be dead for work tmr. 8 hours of work and im still not sleeping yet. erks.

p/s: im getting my pay tmr!! time to buy more stuff.. that arent bags and pouches. NOT bags and pouches. i repeat, NOT bags and pouches aight, Maddie. im saying it twice for self-confirmation than anything else, really. g'night sweethearts. sleep tight. *snorx*

listening to: Roses by Outkast.
i might get their album if i still feel like it after blowing my paycheque on random and senseless things, i think they're pretty nifty. yo work it, Outkast!!

2004-03-30T02:10:00.000+08:00

woww. the previous entry that i typed at 7.30am on sunday morning didnt show. woww. nicely done, blogger. fucker.

anyways. im eating cornflakes now. im hungry. period's here, gotta build up my strength ynoe. need extra iron in my body.. or smth.. wadever.. like i give half a rat's arse abt that. im just hungry.

i was out with Donovan on sunday and we caught My Girl. t'wasnt too bad, t'was quite funny really. and of course i realise that when i say it like that, it doesnt ACTUALLY sound like the show's really funny but it is. really.

and i realise that this is pretty mushy but from now on im gonna really treasure Donovan. seriously! i've been too bloody selfish alotta the time, its awful. i mean, it cant be abt ME all the time, i cant forget that there's him in the relationship as well. i gotta realise that, and remember it, too.(hello Ritalin and Laxapro!) i dont know how he stands me half the time, really. what a patient boy. and i feel guilty whenever i think abt all those times i get all pissy and everything, it aint too pretty a sight, eh. so from now on, only good, precious lil Maddie will exist. no more pissiness from Maddie, no sirree!(dont say "pssh" aight)

i try.(ynoe, like that song by Macy Gray) im feeling really good abt all this :)

and i bought my mom some stuff from body shop on sunday too, like eye gel and a bar of soap(she uses bars of soaps instead of liquid soaps.. its so ol skool i swear..) and a lavender pillow thang. i got the girl at the shop to wrap it up for me so she put all three items in a box and inside she had some straw-like stuff to cushion the things.

i bought my mom the stuff coz i wanted to, i thought t'was abt time i bought smth for her, seriously. plus a small bit of me knew that if she was happy she wouldnt nag as much. but really, i wanted to get smth for my mom, since i havent bought her anything since, like, forever. okayy thats bad, i know. also, buying my mom stuff is a really quick and effective way to make her happy, instead of having to do chores or work for my grades.. ynoe.. like i said, quick and effective way of making her happy. and if i've got the cash, why not, right?

and im starting to REALLY like The Practice. ynoe, that show abt the lawyers. i used to catch snatches of the show a long time back, but i always thought that t'was bloody piss boring.

but now im watching it, and it helps that i forget to turn the telly off after American's Top Models(im still riveted. bye bye Ebony), and the show is really really good. im waiting for The Oc to start, too. i like The Practice.. alot. okayy, mebbe it doesnt seem that good to the rest of you folks out there, but this show has a lil more substance then the other crappy shows they put out there on the telly.

like Incredible Tales. heyy, y'all know im a sucker for horror stuff, i love watching worror flicks and shows and documentaries and what have you. but man, i caught the first episode of Incredible Tales and man, this show just dont cut it, yo. i decided not to ever catch another episode coz everything was just so BAD. read the review in the papers, i agree with it completely. besides, t'was boring. acting was bad. everything.. BAD BAD BAD!!

so anyways. before i go psycho abt how incredibly bad Incredible Tales is.. guess wot?? guess guess guess!! you'll never be able to guess!! unprecendented changes are taking place in my body right as we speak! its remarkable! amazing!! extraordinary!!! [and NO you guessed wrong.. im not pregnant.]

*drum roll*

*more drum roll* (im doing the Xiaxue thang, she likes dedicating whole paragraphs to the *asterix* thang, ynoe ynoe. okay never mind yarr)

MY WISDOM TOOTH IS GROWING out!!!

I MEAN, ISNT IT, LIKE, SO, LIKE, TOTALLY EXCITING??? sorry. caps button was on. i meant: i mean, isnt it, like, so, like, totally exciting???(heyy, its less rude this way yea)

lemme tell you the short story of how my wisdom tooth evolved.

y'all know how i grind my teeth like a soybean grinder at night? okay, so y'all dont know that(but now you do) but yea, i grind my teeth. and at night i gotta wear this teeth guard(Jeremy should know what im talking abt) so that i dont grind my teeth to oblivion(are you sure i havent told you all this before? it seems like deja vu as i type everything i swear) and one day, a long time ago, part of my gum on my upper left jaw started hurting. t'was the bit of gum behind the last tooth on my upper left jaw.

so i thought to myself: this is either my teeth-grinding at work, making this annoying pain at the back of my mouth. or my wisdom tooth was growing.

i'd feel around back there with my tongue, and there'd be this lil bump back there. i thought t'was an ulcer coz it hurt, but t'wasnt squishy the way ulcers get so i kinda(but not completely) discounted the idea *almost* immediately.

so after awhile i just kinda forgot abt it, coz it didnt hurt too bad, it just made me remember that the bump was back there. i knew t'was, my tongue could feel it hidi ng away back there.

anyways. during The Practice just now, it started aching a lil, and i decided to probe using my finger and.. i could feel it!! i could feel a lil of my tooth growing out!! its just peeking out right ther.. how bloody adorable!! ee!!

its so exciting!.. im almost brought to tears at the thought of it.. it feels just like when i lost my baby teeth and my adult teeth started growing..

*sniff*.. fond memories.. the wiggling of the baby teeth, the way they looked when they fell out(or when i yanked em free) into the tissue paper, lying among lil bits of gum and splotches of watery bloody.. they way they seemed so forlorn, all alone when they werent among their fellow toothy friends.. such vivid memories, so very fond memories..

anyways. i've got work tmr, and im working the whole day. whole day on friday, too. im missing Surivor just to earn money man, what's this world coming to these days i ask you? its a sad world, thats what. its sad when a girl misses (one of) her favourite telly shows coz she's got work. ugh. i am disgusted at the state of matters these days. these days are not good days, my friends. ugh.

but im gonna ask my mom to tape Survivor for me, you see if i dont.(unless i forget)

and omg. ynoe how there's American Idol. and soon Singapore Idol. but right now, there will be.. NS Idol.

i swear, i just heard abt it on Power 98 on the radio. this is kinda weird. the army's really tryna make ns plasant for the army boys. hell yeah. as if they'd succeed. "yes! running thru mud is good for you! waiting in the jungle in the blisteringly hot sun is good for you! carrying those guns is good for you! eating nutritious food that tastes like crap is good for you!"

yea yea.. surely so, mate.

bla-di-bla-di-blahh. time for sleep, mateys. arr! yarr!

listening to: The Reason by Hoobastank.

2004-03-28T07:37:00.000+08:00

ynoe, i realise from time to time that im a pessimistic fuck. no no, dont try to stop me from speaking the truth, i know im one.

[why arent you stopping me from speaking the truth?]

but yes, i am a pessimistic fuck. you can ask anybody who's seen my pessimistic side. ask me for it, and i'll be able to describe the bleakest and most depressing landscape for you. i'd be glad to, in fact. its the easiest thing in the world for me to do, really.

note that, however, requests for me to paint a happy and cheerful picture thats got many many glasses 3/4 full of water(or yer choice of alcohol) and overjoyed kids(who're probably on prozac if you ask me) in it are often(if not always) rejected.

speaking of which, if you yerself think the glass is half full of water, mebbe its coz yer on an anti-depressant. but thats just my point of view, of course. and dont quote me on that.

well. anyways. seriously. most times i think im quite alright. i think im yer "normal"(wadever that means. i think that 'normal' is really quite subjective and varies from person to person), average girl on the hdb block, emotions-wise. [intellectually, i am, of course, quite a few notches up. well, d'oh. i am Ruler of the Universe, after all. have i mentioned that i might have a slight ego problem?)

when i say emotions-wise, i think that i'd react the same way other people do to people and situations and.. well.. stuff. cept that im a tad cynical, but thats it, really. i hear some people out there say, "no shit!" and Sara DJ say, "no shit, sherlock!"

on occasion, tho, i sometimes see that im not so normal. that it actually REALLY isnt normal to be able to so easily think of the bleaker side of things. mebbe smth happens, mebbe nothing does, for me to see that im rather despondent deep down inside. i think abt this pessimism of mine(mine and mine only) for awhile, mebbe ponder or worry abt it for awhile, but soon after i move on coz 1)i forget abt it 2)it really doesnt seem that important to me after awhile to think so much abt it coz i dont really think i'll be able to eliminate this Pessimism from my body. its a character trait, its a part of me now.

and i think abt it, and worry abt it when i think abt it, coz it actually scares me a lil. that im actually not who i think i am, that the fact that im such a bloody depressing person is actually hidden from me. its like this depressive chracteristic is in my subconsious, quietly dictating my thoughts and movements without me actually realising it.

and thats a tad freaky, coz it seems as tho im not in complete control of myself or my thoughts. and that i cant help the fact that im not in control. and even scarier, all this time i thought that i WAS in control, but in actual reality i never was. its like alluva sudden, i lose touch with who i am altogether. its akin to an out-of-body experience, yea.

and then it leads me to think that yea, okayy, im pessimistic. and that if smth THIS huge could be hidden from my consciousness, then mebbe other stuff is hidden from myself as well. but lets not go there, lets just continue on the same track, shall we?

so lets say that other stuff is hidden from me, like perhaps the degree of my despondency. im pessimistic, but does it mean that perhaps even deeper down, i feel a sense of hopelessness, despair, defeatism? that all this is whats motivating me to subconsciously, and afterwards, consciously be sucha screwup and fuck up sometimes(okayy, most times) when it comes to the important things like school and relationships?

and then i wonder, if all this was eliminated from my mind, if i didnt have this Pessimisim trait in me, i wouldnt be who i was. that i'd be a completely different person, with a completely different life, regarding what this change could affect, of course. things like my grades and my social life. NOT things like how much money my mom earns or anything, ynoe ynoe.

it'd be like changing my lifelines on the strings of Fate altogether. i wouldnt be the person i was, i wouldnt be doing the things i did, so on and so forth.

its like a riple effect, really. and now that i've been thinking abt it, its truly amazing how such a teensy thing like just being overly pessimistic could just totally transform my life.

woww. i just love mornings dont you? people feel all fresh and awake and happy in the morning, im thinking abt how much more depressed i could get. whoopee!! prozac, please! and make it a double!!

see what i mean? being sardonic just comes so naturally to me, its scary. whooooooo. *shiver me timbers, matey!* be afraid, be very afraid.. .. ..

christ. its bloody 7.30am already. i'd better get to bed man, im meeting Donovan later on, and i told him that i'd wake up ealier than him.(which would be anytime before 5pm *harx*)

gonna hit the sack now y'all. have a great sunday morning. whee.

2004-03-28T05:37:00.000+08:00

i got home not long ago. i was in town.. as usual.. people i hung out with today: Donovan darlin(alliteration rocks my socks off), Sara Dj, Sidney tinks, Haugeng erge, and afterwards Dior, Damien, Dan adm, Hanna, Natalie, Audrey and Eugene munkle. i call Eugene that coz he's so naggy & preachy & old-fashioned sometimes i told him he's like a combination of my mom and my uncle.. hence, munkle.

quite funky right? but eugene munkle doesnt seem to think so. its got quite a ring to it, really. MUNKLY MUNKLU MUNKLE.. sounds like a cross between a monkey and a ukelele.

i also happen to like the word ukelele. it rolls off the tongue, yo. UKELELE! say it! say it, dammit!! UKELELE!!

anyways. met Lionel, Sundeep, Marcus, Sanjeev, Huiying, Soong, Zhiyang, Ivan smooshy marshmallow and Benedict too. t'was a lil weird tho.. when i went into the lido toilet just now there were these girls putting on their makeup(party at chinablack wad.. must look pretty wad..) and one of em looked a tad familiar but i didnt give it much thought(as i do other things as well). when i was done pissing and washing my hands, i was abt to walk out when the girl, who was still doshing on the mascara like t'was free, said to me, "madeleine!!"

shocker sia. nobody calls me madeleine in orchard man. thats how hardcore. i mean, c'mon, even my teachers(when im in school that is) dont call me madeleine.

but er, thing is, i couldnt for the life of me place her. i'd remember everyone from poly onwards, so i suspected that she was from scgs. so i just kinda squinted at her, as if staring thru her face would mke me remember who she was. nope, that didnt frickin help.

then she said "im yuting," as she continued putting on her makeup. and im like, "huh? im sorry.. er.. i kinda dont remember you.." or smth along those lines. i really cant remember and i was embarrassed that she knew my full name(hey dont say okayy, some people actually think that Maddie is my full name. kukus.) and i didnt know any part of her name at all.

in the end i think i mumbled a Bye and walked out. or smth. i cant really remember. when i get into such obviously uncomfortable and squelchy situations i just switch into Auto-Pilot mode(without my knowing) and behave the appropriate way before making a quick but discrete exit.

wadever. anyways. so today was Eugene munkle's bday and Dan adm did a pretty good job of planning it all. kudos, sweetheart!! *thumbs up* we all hid in bushes and stuff at lido garden til Dan brought Eugene up. Dior was holding the cake and both of us were squatting behind the step to surprise him.. we squatted til our legs cramped.. we took turns holding the cake so t'was alright.. haha..

and anyways, Eugene was really pleasantly surprised by it all, which was good. and we sat at lido gaden(Dan had crought a groundsheet for us to sit on), there were snacks and alcohol and bday cake.. t'was all cool.

and coz Eugene's always cracking lame jokes that i never ever find funny, today Dan said that Eugene was to be Mr Funnyman. coz thats what Eugene always wanted, ynoe, for himt o be funny and people laughing at his jokes and all.

so i obliged him la. i laughed when he made a joke.. and when he didnt intend to make a joke.. when he was talking.. and when he wasnt talking. i just laughed. ynoe.. the loud, maniacal laughter. coz he's funny wad. damn funny. i said he was so funny he had me in stitches.

Eugene munkle then called me an ass. *harx* see! that was funny!! ha! HA!! HA!!! he's Mr Funnyman of the year yarr.

anyways. i met Donovan for lil snatches of time during the day. and after i left Eugene's lil party thang, i met Sara, Sidney and Jeremy at lido mac's. Gerald kor joined us for a short while before i came home.

and thank god Sara lent me her nokia headphone so i could listen to the radio on Donovan's mobile on the way home. i had to wait abt half an hour for the nightrider to get is slow ass to town, and the trip was also a long one.(tho i think the bus hit abt 90km/h for on long empty roads) thankew muchly Sara dearie :)

and.. *drum roll*.. thats it. summary of my day.

en passant, sara Dj, Sidney tinks, Damien, eugene munkle and Dior seem to doubt my ability to Quit Smoking FOREVER. i havent smoked for 2 weeks, y'all go away la. and yea well, Eugene said that its one thing to quit, but its a matter of whether i go back to smoking or not. no the most thought-provoking thing to say, but yea of course he's right. lets just see how long i go before i crack.

which i wont. so there. *harrumph*

and no worries yea Donovan baby, im sure it'll all turn out alright. as in, everything, ynoe. lovin ya muchly babe.

2004-03-26T14:58:00.000+08:00

i just drank a bottle of yakult.

i remember how when i was younger i used to love drinking yakult(still do, but the tiny bottle doesnt remotely come anywhere near to satisfying my yakult cravings) but my mom was always all like, "yer not allowed to drink more than 2 bottles a day! more than that is bad for you!! dont let me catch you drinking more than 2 bottles!!" i guess she didnt know any other way of telling me that to consume everything in moderation is best.

i'd be damn sad la, coz i'd drink 2 bottles of yakult in one shot, and that meant that for the next 23hours and 58mins i wouldnt be able to touch another bottle of yakult.

t'was always a good experience. i'd take the bottle outta the yucky clingy plastic that wraps the yakult bottles together. and then i'd take a straw and poke it in. nd depending on whether was i was a greedy lil fuck or if i wanted to the drink to last longer, i'd either take big gulps(as big a gulp as i could outta that remarkably tiny straw) or sip it. note: if ninjas are after you and you wanna hide in the water so that they cant see you, do not, i repeat, do NOT take along a puny yakult straw with you for use as a breathing tube. if yer that stupid, just stay put and let the ninjas get ya. its more fun that way.

and i remember that i used to hate vitagen. it tasted like crap to my young, sensitive tastebuds. i am of course alright with vitagen NOW, but in the past, yakult was the best.(still is.. hooha!!) no other drink with live bacteria could come close to yakult. the bright colourful silver foil that covered each yakult bottle was also brighter and more colourful the vitagen ones. i swear its true. go compare the yakult and vitagen bottles. the yakult ones are more attractive. the vitagen ones look faded.. ee.. ugly laa..

and i used to be so impressed with the adults coz whenever they took a yakult, they wouldnt take a straw, they'd just rip the entire foil wrapping off the top of the yakult bottle. i believe now the reasons adults chose to do that intead of daintily poking in a tiny yellow straw was coz 1)you cant drink enough when you drink outta a straw 2)guys look faggoty coz the bottle, small as it is, isnt in proportion to their bodies. sipping outta a tiny lil yellow straw aint doin nothin for their macho-isms.

so. yeahh. i wanted to be adult-ish too, and i'd try to emulate em by tryna tear off the foil wrapping off the yakult bottles. wah lau.. t'was damn tough can. my fingers were small and weak(they arent anymore aight) and t'was practically an impossible task. i was sad and disappointed with myself.. if i couldnt take off the wrapping, i wasnt a real adult.(just like how some males tell emselves that they arent real men til they fuck a girl) so i stuck with sipping yakult thru the yakult straw.

one day, when i was a lil older, i decided to give the foil-ripping another go and.. HURRAHH!! i did it!! i managed to take off the wrapping!! i was a real adult now!! i didnt feel like a REAL adult but.. who cares!! i was a real adult!!

soon after tho, i realised that there wasnt much satisfaction in drinking yakult straight outta the bottle, so i went back to drinking outta the straws.

moral of the story? the moral of the story is "dont grow up too fast for yer age."

but anyways, i now drinking yakult straight outta the bottle coz 1)im too lazy to lok the straws 2)even if i see the straws, im too lazy to take it, get it outta the plastic, and then poke it into the bottle and 3)my momma aint stopping me from drinking any number of bottles of yakult now so i can just drink outta the bottle and if i still aint satisfied, i cant get myself another bottle. man im a rebel.

this has been "my yakult memories". hope you enjoyed the show, and stay tuned for more inane childhood memories. toodle-oo!

2004-03-26T14:05:00.000+08:00

yes yes. this is a wayyy long overdue entry. y'see, my internet was kinda screwing around with me, playing mind games and all(the scheming, devious thing!!), so i wasnt able to blog.

but i have since resolved the problem(yea, sure, its a week later, but as they say, "better late than never", right??) and now i am ONLINE!! WHOO!! I AM RULER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!! hoohaa!!!

anyways. i cant much remember what happened so far.. cept that i went out with Donovan over the weekend and we ate alotta sushi and we watched The Eye 2.. its okay for a horror flick but im still rooting for jappy horror movies, of course.

oh yeahh. and i returned Tim his GD88(my poor photos.. all.. gone..) and got back my purse from him. and Donovan lent me his nokia 7250 and im using it now. he's a dear. a sexy, naughty, bitch dear.

and im really REALLY afraid of damaging the 7250 so i cant wait til i get my new phone coz 1)Donovan says that he doesnt mind lending me his phone and that he doesnt need it but still it aint too nice to hold onto it for, like, forever and 2)i want my own phone so that even if i drop/scratch/damage it its my own taiji and nobody else's.

wow! im so responsible!!

and the girls, meaning: me, Sara DJ, Sidney tinks, Gek Puay and for awhile, Diana, wenta zouk on wednesday. Weihong was with us, he was with his new girlfriend. ohh i bumped into Edna! her hair looks different. i saw Andrea too and she said that i lost weight and that i looked thinner!! woohooo!(of course she could just be humouring me.. hmm..) i met Zhiyang as well and haha he says that he's gonna give up on girls and turn gay. g'luck bro.

oh yeahh.. and i dont know how or why, but the entire jug of vodka cranberry we had on the table slipped off and spilled on me and Sara DJ. her jeans were pretty wet, and my poor blue suede adidas shoes were soaked. they'll never be the same again. *sniff* i am in mourning. *sniffsniff*

and after zouking, Sidney and i stayed over at Sara's place. i borrowed some of sara's clothes coz she said that she she wont need em as she wont be clubbing anymore.

pssh. yea right.

and at work yesterday night, i spilled a drink on a customer AGAIN. this time i spilled water on a guy who was wearing jeans at dinnertime. the last time, t'was cherryade on a woman during lunch hour, and she was wearing white.

but the guy was pretty cool abt it, perhaps coz he was with like, eleven of his other male comp[anions and he didnt wanna look like some nit-pickin pussy, ynoe? and his friends asked me if i was from njc/nyjc. do i REALLY have such a common face?? *blergh* i was like, "no, im from tp." idiots.

anyway. Sara and i were talking last night and we've got shitloads in common. we said that whoever could come online to blog first would talk abt it, so here i am, since you dont see sara online, dya?

1)we used to live in semi-detached houses.
2)we both used to have the same sorta swing when we used to live in semi-detached houses.
3)we have the same dream of buying back our respective houses when we grow up. and earn alotta money.
4)we have broad shoulder so that we look like guys from the back.(if you cut off the hair la, d'oh)
5)we have nightmares and all that.
6)we have over-active, vivid, imaginations.
7)we have kancheong spider mothers.
8)we are scared of ghosts.
9)we dont like to talk abt ghosts and scary stuff at night.
10)we have rebonded hair. and we go a lil nuts when it doesnt stay rebonded.
11)we have a telepathic connexion with each other.
12)we use the same eye pencil.
13)we're gossip + entertainment whores.
14)we read the new paper, which is a crappy tabloid, but we still read it anyway.
15)we're.. and this one's a lil of a secret between us so, yeahh. but it starts with an S and a D. *smirx*
16)we're both telly freaks. wewatch tons of tv now.
17)we were really harcore tv addicts. hook or by crook, we'd make sure that we'd catch our shows every week.
18)we loved cartoons!! still do, actually.
19)we liked the same ol skool shows, like Johnny Quest and Sliders. Charmed and Survivor, too.

im sure there's more, but i bet it involves mroe telly, so i shant ramble on anymore. Sara dahling, you and i, we're television connoisseurs yo! we be rawwwkkkinnnn this joint!!

by the way, the cartoon Astroboy's coming to town!! every sunday at 10.30am!!! me like Astroboy.. yumm.. he has nice lil undies and booties. and a really cool slicked up hairstyle. i knew this guy once called Max and he wouldnt havta really do anything with his hair and it'd look like Astroboy's hairdo. that is some funky shite, y'all.

anyways. i wanna go eat cornflakes now. i am hungry. and i dont know if it'll kill em eventually or what, but im starting to give my gerbz cornflakes, and oat biscuits, and digestive biscuits. its all healthy stuff for us but still, you never know what it takes to fuck up a gerbil's digestive system. ooh!! did somebody say "science experiment"??

just kiddin. but the gerbz seem to like the stuf so why deprive of em their *tiny* worldy pleasures, right? besides sex. i dont know if gerbz enjoy sex, but i know dolphins can. and pigs can have 30 minute orgasms. i mean, cmon man. give the 30 minute orgasms to the beings who can actually appreciate it, ynoe? geez.

okay. cornflakes are a-callin. in their teeny voices, i hear em cry, "maddie! maddie! come eat our warped lil bodies! we're flat and thin and crispy and good for ya! eat us or we might lose the meaning of life! ooh! are we alive! yes we are yes we are! eat us maddie before we go soft and die.. we dont wanna fade away like those pussy cocoa puffs, we wanna die in honour!! in a spoonful of delicious milk between yer teeth!! eat us, we say!! EAT US!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!"

and i shall. damn they're annoying.

2004-03-19T20:06:00.000+08:00

im eating a plum now.. i like plums.. the're round, sweet, delicious, juicy and a nice colour. i also like peaches coz they're kinda roundish, sweet but not as sweet as plums, juicy, are a nice colour, have the uncanny ability to look like bums and are mildly furry. so peaches're like beige-coloured hairy bum bums.

anyway. yesterday night's cleo bachelor's bash at zouk was alright. i had fun mocking the bachelors tho.

i went with Amanda, Sara DJ, Sidney tinks, Diana, Shuping and Gerrard.

i also saw the girl who calls herself Xiaxue and owns an immensely popular blog and is also one of those Dream D8s thingy. no offence, but she is SERIOUSLY bloody short. i think she was wearing heels and she was still wayy shorter than me.. and i htink that puts her at abt 1.4+m.. ouchh!

anyway. at zouk.. there was this one bachelor, his name's faizad/faizal/haizad(im not sure), he's a nurse(errrmmm..), and the boy can REALLY sing. he won The Most Suave Bachelor award. unfortunately, he pronounced it as suah-vey. not suave, but suah-vey. how embarrassing. thats just sad, man. its like being unable to pronounce yer own name, yo.

most of the bachelors didnt have much personality, or they werent too good-looking, or their bodies were buffed enough, or smth.

there was this one dude who won an award for.. smth.. i cant remember, he was so forgettable. the emcees asked him to do smth to show that he deserved that award, and he just stood there. he didnt know wht to do. and for a few rare moments, the entire zouk was silent. no music was playing, the crowd was quiet, and the emcees werent saying anything. everyone was waiting for the bachelor to do smth, anything. but he just stood there, lousy bugger.

so i yelled, "TAKE OFF YER PANTS!!!"

and that was cool, everybody heard it, they laughed, some cheered, and the emcees goaded the dude to take off his pants. the wuss didnt take off his pants, he just stood there some more looking at his ugly feet, what a bloody bore. BORINGGGG. its not like i wanna see his ass, its just to see if he deserved that award or not. ding ding.. and NO HE DIDNT!! no personality, no guts, no looks. boo!

anyway. the fella who won the cleo bachelor award deserved it. granted, he doesnt seem that good-looking at first glance, but his face grows on you(i think..umm..). his body's good, he's actually funny and he's go a pretty decent personality, and he was fun. he's a teacher, can you believe it? his students were there at zouk last night rooting for him.

i heard from Sara DJ that he's gay, tho. hmm. who knows. still, he desereved the award. after all, they didnt say cleo heterosexual bachelor award, did they?

anyway. i had work today, man i was tired. quite alotta customers today. and after the customers left, we had lunch at FOTT. we had luncheon meat, pork, pineapple tumeric rice and.. CHILLI CRABS!!

im a messy eater, i cant break open the shells properly with the.. shell-breaker-pincer thingy.. anyhow.. t'was good.. i guess t'was especially good coz everything was free. i was so full i thought i was gonna barf my guts out. but of course i didnt, thats too unglam, ynoe ynoe.

i like working at FOTT. did i mention that tall Eric didnt come in today? definitely a good day today y'all.

after work i had to go to yishun to collect my ezlink card.. never mind that, boring shite.. and i bought hoop earrings, perfume and undies!! im just tryna buy everything on my list, ynoe ynoe.

i made a list of stuff i wanted to buy a long time ago, and from time to time i add or delete stuff. i mainly add stuff to the list. well, wasnt THAT unexpected?.. but when im feeling frugal(if ever), i delete stuff like, ohh i dont know, biker jacket, or smth.

just kiddin, i never did want a biker jacket. but it'd be pretty nifty, eh?? *harx*

damn im beat. well, just my legs're beat, actually. been standing all day. im just gonna stay home today and slack.. watch Survivor.. watch RESIDENT EVIL!!!!!!!!! i love Milla Jojovich. man she's hot. i wish i looked like her. goddamn. Milla Jojovich + funky bloody monsters = resident evil =bloody awesome.

and i'll be meeting Tim tmr to collecct my purse.. the purse that i thought had been lost but has now been found.. in Tim's car. i shall once again be reunited with my lil purse.. the world is mine to hold..

anyways, i need to go and check out mobile phones online now.. i need one.. desperately.. bloody fuckk..

well, have a nice day maties. yarr! ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!!

toodles.

2004-03-18T06:13:00.000+08:00

oh my god.

since i typed the last entry, i've been on friendster, and i only just got off. and t'wasnt even coz i WANTED to get off, t'was coz i'd reached the quota of friend requests.

my collection of people simply begs to be expanded.

i was also gleefully reading, and okayy already i admit it, counting testimonials.. finding new people to add to my collection.. ynoe, that kinda thing. [i was quite tempted to use the word 'crap' instead of 'thing', but then i realised it would mean that i'd have admitted to the world that i'd just spent 1 hour and 45 mins on 'crap'. 'thing' it is, then.]

oh my god. im a geek.. a GEEK!! *horror!* oh. my. god.

and t'was quite long overdue, and i realise that it seems quite.. juvenile and.. stuff.. but i altered my relationship status, as well. i know i know!! its not important, its only friendster after all, nobody bloody cares abt yer relationship status cept for the creeps who try to make friends with you thru the friend of their friend of their friend of their friend of their friend of their friend by putting on the facade of having an actual interest in the books you read/music you listen to/telly shows you watch/sports you play, hit on you, and then proceed to ask you out so that they can demand illicit sexual favours in some dank, dark and deserted back alley.. just hypothetically speaking, of course.

so what was i saying? so yea, nobody really cares much for yer relationship status cept for the creeps(dont get me started) but i thought tat i'd, well, make it clear anyway. ynoe. yeahh.

oh my. saying all that abt creeps just reminded me.. i saw Cecil at far east today while i was with Sara Dj and Sidney tinks. i had this momentary eye contact with him, and trust me, i didnt wanna. i was wearing my cap so i just ignored him and broke off eye contact, looked down and continued walking. likewise, he feigned ignorance as well, which was very fine with me.

wow. that lil mini-encounter just like, made my day, ynoe. i'd forgotten all abt it til i started talking abt creeps.. funny, this word association, is it not?

so anyways. these past 2 or 3 weeks have been kinda shitty. so much has been happening and none if it is pretty. i swear, if i didnt have ADHD and was so easily distracted and forgot stuff so rapidly, i would be really pissed off.. also worried and upset. but wadever. [note to self: all this has got nothing to do with Donovan coz, well, he didnt do anything. it is other people.. annoying people.. *raarrrggghhhh*]

see?? ADHD minus ritalin equals to easy-going nature(sometimes), good memories and the capability to let shite(shite refers to things that have happened, and also the people that made it all happen.. call em INSTIGATORS, if you will) go and move on.

thank you God for giving me ADHD.

listening to: Ray Of Light by Madonna.

2004-03-18T04:14:00.000+08:00

i took my ritalin and laxaprose(i'll check the spelling next time) for the first time today before i went to work. im sposed to take it after food, but all i had was milo in the morning before i went to work.

i dont know if t'was coz i hadnt been having enough sleep the past few days or whether t'was coza the medication, but i couldnt stop yawning. i drank 2 and a 1/2 cups of coffee in 2 hours and i stopped yawning, but i still fept pretty damn tired. deadish, ynoe. i was slouching around everywhere.. very unglam. i also felt a tad nauseous, and i suspect that its coz i hadnt eaten anythin before i took my medication. my appetite was also greatly reduced, but once again, im not sure if its coza the med or coz i was just too darn tired.

i hope that the nausea is just a passing phase and that my body will get accustomed to me taking my med before eating food.(i dont have much of an appetite in the morning most times) i REALLY hope that i wont feel pukey whenever i take my med on an empty stomach.

so yeahh.. i only ate a teensy weensy bit of food at lunch today at FOTT. i asked Jason for only a lil bit of rice, so as a joke, he only gave me this absolutely puny portion of rice. but i took it anyway, and with the food, i ended up feeling quite full.. normally, i'd eat thrice that amount.

heyy, this is good news, right? i mean, its good news, right, of COURSE its good news. coz i'll lose weight this way.

anyways. i met Sara DJ, Diana, Sidney tinks, Shuping and Gerrard(if thats how ya spell it) today after work. i was frickin tired, but i still went anyway. didnt do much, i was just pretty much bored and tired. t'wasnt the company, t'was just me la. bored & tired lil ol me.

i headed home pretty early, and since then i've 1)watched AMI3, played shitloads of tetris on the GD88(i'd forgotten just how damn addictive it can get), and plan what to do with my hair.

abt AMI3, im rooting for Jasmine and Fantasia. wadever.

abt tetris, i cant stop playing it. i dont even sms when im at work at work, instead i play tetris. and on the bus, and on the train, and when im walking home, and at home, and before i go to bed.

coz the GD99's batt doesnt last for very long, i switch it off, and only turn it on to send the rare sms. but mainly i use up the phone's batt playing tetris. im tryna beat my own high scores. i so COMPLETELY rule. but i mean, seriously, wtf. a phone is for sending msgs and emailing and making calls, not fucking playing tetris!! im a nerd. just like.. S_ra D_ and S_dne_ ti_k_!(this is wheeeeeeeee_e_eeel of fortune, ladieez and gents!! step right up, step right up!) we're a clan now, pals, ol buddies.

but tetris is damn ol skool, its damn funky man. tetris was one of my first more 'advanced' hand-held computer games, cept back then they caleed it the BRICK GAME. how ol skool is that man?!?!

anyway. abt my hair. i really wanna do smth with it. im pissy bored with it, i need a change. also coz its getting disgustingly unruly. *urghh*

so i was thinking, i either make it wavey, or i rebond it. i was all for getting my hair all wavey, it'd be so funky and shit, ynoe. but at the end of it all, i decided not to wave out my hair, simply coz i want as fuss-free hair as possible, and i dont wanna havta spend time tryna untangling my hair, or carefully combing out the knots so my wavey hair doesnt get damaged and also doesnt look too messy, lest i end up looking like a wild jungle woman. *ayyyiiiieeeeaaaaiiiiyyyeee!!* also coz Sara DJ cant imagine me with wavey hair, and to be quite honest, neither can i.(without imagining myself as some wild jungle woman, that is)

so there. i shall just rebond it. do what i've always done *sighh.. borinngggggggg, maddie* coz its familiar territory and i know what to do with rebonded hair. its my forte, yo. and after i've rebonded it, if i still want a change(tho i doubt i will), mebbe i can get a different haircut. or smth. wadever rocks my boat la, ynoe.

so yea, there i was just now, lying in bed, tryna imagine myself with wavey hair, or rebonded hair, centre parting or side parting, with or without a fringe, long fringe, short fringe, slanting fringe, fringe above my eyebrows or fringe in my eyes, chinadoll fringe or part fringe.. as you can see, fringe had alot to do with my sleeplessness.

ynoe what would be ironic? if i dont get a fringe at all. ha.

i was so restless, i got up to type this entry. i wasnt gonna be falling asleep soon anyway. t'was either come online, or play tetris. and frankly, the nerd in me has just gotta give it a rest, yea.

man. my doctor appointment's at 11.25am and im still here. shite. and then there's that cleo bachelor thang at zouk tmr, oh sorry, i meant later tonight at zouk. im not gonna be staying over at Sara's anymore, we're both intending to leave by 11pm and take public transport home. we arent drinking anyway. *harx* and we all know why, dont we?? *snigger*

so yea.. the cleo thingy'll be boring as hell, i know it, and besides they're playing house at phuture. no r&b. thats what Sara says, anyway, and i hope she's right.

this is called hair distress.

how? HOW? should i cut a fringe?! but i should wait la hor.. rebond first then talk right.. i also cannot visualise it now lor.. donnoe wad i will look like with a rebonded fringe also.. aiyoh.. jialat sia..

*shudder*

so hello. i am back in Proper English Land. it is a very exclusive place, and only people with a natural flair for the language may enter. like MOI, as you can see.

*snorx*

anyways, i shall hopefully be getting my new mobile soon. even tho i personally dont like sony ericsson, i think they're actually not very user friendly and have rather limited functions, i might get the camera phone.. the original blockish camera one.. never mind, i cant remember the exact model.

we'll see how it all goes. as i was telling Donovan, im not too happy or excited abt getting a new phone coz 1)i want a camera phone 2)but good quality camera phones're bloody expensive and im on a budget 3)hence i can only afford a mediocre camera phone with lousy resolution or 4)a good, functionable, fashionable, non-camera colour phone.. that i dont want.

this blows. this completely blows. as i was telling Shuping&co this afternoon, i want the Samsung E700, but i'll havta save for 2 months and not spend on a single thing before i can get it. which, frankly, doesnt make much bloody sense. coz i actually have a life that doesnt revolve around a bloody stupid camera phone(but is oh-so-gorgeous) and i wanna buy clothes and undies and shoes and bags and makeup and accessories and..

well, y'get what i mean.

looks like i'll havta settle for a lesser mobile than i would like this weekend. settle for a LOT lesser of a mobile. *grumble mutter bitch bitch bitch*

listening to: Build A Bridge by Limp Bizkit.

2004-03-17T00:17:00.000+08:00

i was up til 4am talking to Sara DJ and everything so i only had 3 hours of sleep last night coz i had to wake up for work this morning.. we gabble too much for our own good, right, Sara darlin? thankfully there werent many customers today so i could afford to slack.. but it gets really boring when nobody's in, there's nothing else to do but mooch around and arrange the cutlery. i get such a kick outta THAT ynoe.

anyways, i got my cheque today! i like money. tall Eric's entering FOTT in a culinary competition. i mean, okayy, wadever. so yea. weird thing is, tall Eric asked me if i wanted to be a bartender as short Eric was writing out my cheque.

so the conversation went smth like this:
me(skipping on the spot next to short Eric): i like money! i like money! i like money!tall Eric(sitting at one of the tables): mad, come here.
me(really wanting to hold the cheque in my hands): wait la. i like money! i like money!
tall Eric: come la.
short Eric: go over la.
me(wistfully looking at the cheque still half-filled in short Eric's small hands): okayy.
i go over, sit down at the table with tall Eric and Dave.
me: wassup?
tall Eric: mad ah, would you like to be a bartender?
me: if you like all yer bottles broken la.
tall Eric: no really. i think you have the seh. anyway you dont have to do all that bottle flipping thing, only make the drinks.
me: is this for the culinary competition?
tall Eric: yes.
me(thinking for a short moment): will i get paid more? (smile sweetly)
tall Eric(in a booming generous voice): of COURSE.
me: okay. and you really need a bartender?
tall Eric: yes, we need a chef, a bartender, and a waitress. (maybe he said other pple, i dont know, i kinda tuned out)
me: okay. no problem.

so basically, if all goes as planned(or wadever), im their bartender for the competition. i dont know where they're gonna send me for the training, as i've got none whatsoever. my concoction for even vodka lime's a tad shaky. *harx* but yea, anyways, its quite cool la. i spose. apparantly i dont have alotta time to learn.. well, wadever. i'll do my best. and they're paying me more *apparantly* so thats good, too.

anyhow. im meeting Sara DJ&co tmr after work.. not too sure who'll be going, not too sure what we're gonna be doing. but then again, whats new, eh? and Sara, Amanda, Sidney tinks and i are going for the cleo bachelor thang at zouk on thursday. i think its all quite imbecilic, really, the fellas arent even good-looking but they think they're. psssh. the only reason im going is coz its free, Sidney used her CONNECTIONS to get us those tix. after that i think im bunking at Sara's place.

anyways. as i lay in bed last night before i fell asleep, the phrase "it happens to the best of us" popped into my head. i dont know why, but it did. my mind works in mysterious ways, yea, i know.

so i decided to analyse it, and try to work out why this phrase, of all cliched phrases, should choose to stumble across my mind. and the mor i thought abt it, the more i decided that i actually quite liked the phrase.

y'see, "it happens to the best of us" instills hope into us. it tells us that, even tho we suck, it doesnt matter, even the most amazing and beautiful people suck too!! shit happens to everybody! its all okay! call me presumptuous, but im assuming here that when they say "the best of us", they mean those who're physically aesthetically attractive and/or have got the most birlliant brains around.

so yeahh. before you fuck yerself up for being a loser/failure/jackass/wadever, think twice, honey. coz, as they say, "it happens to the best of us"!! isnt that just bloody brilliant??

oh and i really am gonna get myself a spanking new mobile anytime within these two weeks. my samsung screws up, and i cant use Tim's phone forever, so im gonna havta get myself another mobile. this weekend, i'll try to check out the M1 deals and promos.

i shall cash my cheque tmr. i would like to spend my money. soon.

2004-03-15T21:50:00.000+08:00

lemme fill you in on what happened over the weekend.

on saturday afternoon t'was a lil surprise thingy for Diana's bday at sakae sushi. there was Sara DJ, Sidney tinks, Shuping, Haugeng erge and Jeremy. i was, naturally, bloody late, and missed the linch, opening of presents, and cutting of the cake. i even missed the EATING of the cake, thats how late i was. i told em not to leave any came for me, anyway.

so yeahh. after that the whole bunch of us sat at the mc cafe, smoking away, chillin out. i bumped into Phin as i was buying fags. i bought a pack of ciggies that i intended for Sara DJ, Diana and and Sidney tinks coz they always used to gimme free fags, and since i was sposedly cutting down i thought it'd be alright. turns out i didnt cut down, instead i puffed away like HELL, and yea i was chain-smoking.. damn.. i really shouldnt buy a pack anymore in the future. and guess what? in the end, Sara DJ, Sidney tinks and Diana bought their own packs.

i took pics using Tim's borrowed GD88, and the resolution was great. i got Jeremy to take a pic of us ladieez, and i took a pic of Sid and i kissing. funky. Dononvan and Lionel met us there, and i passed him some stuff i'd bought for him. i hope that he likes the pressies. then he, Lionel and Haugeng went to another table nearby to talk their.. mantalk.. i dont know.

anyway. Sara, Jeremy and i left em at abt 7pm. Amanda joined us, and on the train, jeremy and i were speaking gaytalk. well, only Jeremy, really. the train was crowded, and i wanted to see how far Jeremy would go. i started off by asking him loudly if he had brought his thong for the stripshow later. from then on t'was me taking digs at him, and him taking digs at me.. cant really remember what we said, but it had ass, thongs, and other gay males in it.

we metSidney at cityhall, and and then we walked around raffles place. i bought a hot pink racerback top and a black tube from mago. Tim picked us up from raffles hotel, and then we headed to the ritz. Rama joined us there. t'was a deluxe room, and the entire room was excellent. huge room, huge bed, huge toilet.. the facilities were great, too.

Donovan surprised me by coming down to the ritz to meet me. we were all up in the room, and i didnt know what he was downstairs in the lobby for abt 20mins. we were msging each other, and he asked if i wanted him to drop by. of course i did! so i called him, and he was already downstairs. i was kinda shocked, i thought he was still with his mates.

so i hurried down to meet him, and we walked around marina square til abt 12am, and then he sent me back to the ritz while he headed home. i thought t'was kinda sweet of him to pop by, really.

when i headed back up, we all chilled out.. the guys watched soccer til Rama left.. we took turns wearing the bathrobes.. we watched the telly.. ate apples(they had a plateful out there in the lift lobby of every floor for the guests).. blasted the music.. we took long baths(not together, of course).. we drank(not alot, only kahlua).. we turned off the lights and danced to r&b cds.. t'was a pretty cool night.

Tim and i pillow fought. he threw a pillow at me first, and i started whacking him. he got HIS pillow, and then we started pummelling each other. i've pillow fought with Chai & co before too, and pillow-fighting with Tim was like pillow-fighting Sundeep. they both use their height to their advantage and use their pillows to hit my head coz they're so tall and im so short. but its okay, i deal low blows. or if all else fails, i punch em. i punched Tim a few times too.. i hope it didnt hurt too bad, he looked like he was in a bit of pain. okayy, well, a LOT of pain. *chuckle*

my left shoulder hurts, dont know if its coz we pillow fought. i think not, coz im so invincible and stuff, hoho.

Amanda and Rama left for home at abt 1am, Jeremy and Sidney went to walk around the hotel, and Sara and Tim went to bed. the lights were all of cept the lights in the bathroom, and they were playing volume 6 of cafe del mar on the cd player.. so i went to take my bath, and after that i had a good long soak in the bathtub, bathsalts included.

it felt sooo good. even tho Tim and Sara were outside in the room, i felt so blissfully alone in the tub. i msged Donovan while i was soaking, everything was just great. i dipped a bit of the samsung phone into the water tho so now it doesnt work too good.. oops. they even had this real comfy head cushion stuck on the tub for you to lay yer head on. and right next to the tub was a huge hexagonal window, and out there you could see all the tall buildings in the cbd district, and the boats, and on the left the highway, with all those lil cars whizzing up and down it. t'was beautiful. i loved it all. as i was in the tub, i was telling myself that mebbe on my bday i might just book myself a room here for myself coz it felt so darn exquisite.

its just that feeling of feeling so damn comfortable where y'are, and being so secure of the feeling of being alone coz you dont havta talk to anybody, and nobdy's gonna talk to you, and you dont havta deal or put up with anything. and just being so alone, its a great feeling, lemme tell ya.

then Jeremy and Sidney came back, and Sid came into the bathroom by accident(i'd lock the doors if i could, but the bathroom doors cant be locked, they just swing in and out). i heard her ask Sara where i was, and i yelled, "im SOAKING!" but she heard, "im SMOKING!" so she came in.. aiyoyo. luckily i anticipated her coming in so i was crossing my arms over my breasts and i crossed my legs so she'd see as lil as my pubes as possible. when she walked in she went, 'OHH!" and then she hurriedly scurried back out.

hawhawhaww!!

anyways. we all wenta bed, and Sara, Sidney and i couldnt stop giggling. i dont know what we were giggling abt, or laughing abt. one of us would laugh, and the rest of us would soon follow suit. we're blinkin retards, i swear. but DAMN fun blinkin retards, might i add.

here're some of the sleeping habits of my friends.
+Sara DJ sleeps in any position but the position of lying on her back. and apparantly lying on yer back is the most desirable position to sleep in if you want normal blood pressure. or so i've watched on the telly.
+Tim snores. it is loud as thunder. the poor boy's got a sinus problem. but i could sleep with it after getting used to it so it alright la.
+Jeremy grinds his teeth. like me!. he's got teeth guard, but we both didnt bring em. he says that only special people grind their teeth, and it means that he and i are special. i agree!!
+Sidney.. she's a peaceful one. i wouldnt know, actually. the bed was a lil too squashy for Sara, Tim, Sid AND me, so she grabbed a pillow and slept on the floor with a bathrobe for a blanket. she just.. lies there.. and doesnt make a sound.. i'd sleep with her ANYday. *harx*

i woke up alotta times tho, and when i woke up at abt 7am in the morning, i switched on the GD88 to take pictures from the hexagonal window in the bathroom. i took em in negative and sepia form, the normal mode didnt do wonders for the pics, see.

i also felt like eating breakfast, but nobody was awake to eat it with me. i wanted scrambled eggs.

and after taking a few pics, i slept a few more hours, and then Tim and i went to eat at.. i dont know where we went to eat, actually. the food was.. unique. Tim and i didnt know what we were eating sometimes, but the food was good, so why complain right? we talked, and then we went back to the room.

Sara left, leaving just the four of us behind. we started packing, and then i realised that my frickin purse was missing. i was distressed! i wanted to buy more stuff at mango that day! *sniff* so i was kinda annoyed la, ynoe.

on the brighter side tho, i was wearing my new hot pink mango top, my barbie pink nails matched my top, and i wore the purple orchid from the fruit bowl in the room in my hair so i felt.. well, kinda pretty. *harx* Donovan said that i wasnt in hawaii heh.

ha-waaaa-iiiiiiii.. think the hawaiian chick in the american idol.. no, not one of the finalists, the one who gave the judges the shirt saying "BIG GIRLS ROCK". wow. she was awesome. she even wrote a song abt em.

anyways, in order to find my purse, we turned the room upside down, searched everywhere.. couldnt find the small damn thing.

Tim left a msg with ritz, asking em to call either him or me if they found it. they didnt call. i was with Jeremy and Sidney, and we went to raffles place, and i went to mango to ask em if they had my wallet. they didnt.. so i left my name and contact number with em in case they found it.

and guess WHAT?! i was just talking to Amanda, and both of us were tryna recall where i could've left my purse. and on a hunch, i decided to call Tim and ask him if my purse might be in his car and.. IT WAS!! MY BLOODY PURSE WAS IN TIM'S CAR!!!! i swear to god, i was ecstatic. i was laughing like an idiot, and i told him i was gonna start hyperventilating *coughcough* soon.

anyway, thing is, he's gotta be in camp for the next 4 days, so he can only pass it to me after that. i told him, el no problemo dude.

so soon, im gonna get me ezlink card, and library card, and money, and purse that Ailin darlin gave to me. woo fuckin hooooo!!

anyway. i met Donovan on sunday after leaving Sidney and Jeremy(Tim went home), and we went to watch Butterfly Effect. and we ate alot. sushi, and then we went to marche's i should stop eating so much, really.

and today, i did nothing. i shall be working tmr, tho. im sucha productive member of society, i cant stand it. ee.

gotta go grin at the thought that my purse has been found. toodles, my tootsies.

listening to: Good Love by Basement Jaxx.

2004-03-13T01:32:00.000+08:00

i love it when people copy or imitate me or the things i do. i feel so gosh-darn important. well, actually, i was joking. i hate it. it offends me.

i dont like it that i feel offended, and i dont like it that when it happens, i despise the people who do it.

granted, it doesnt happen very often. im no madonna or britney or wacko jacko(i reckon i come the closest to him, if anybody else. hoho) after all.

but anyways, like i was saying, this copying doesnt happen very often, and for that im grateful. and please, dont take me wrongly, im not being overly egotistical here or anything, its just the principle/s behind it all.

"what ARE the principles, anyway, you ego fuck?" you ask me, arms akimbo/crossed over yer skinny chest.

i shall answer, because "DAMMIT!! dont copy me, you fucker!! get a fuckin life!!" just sounds too childishly peevish.

and im not peevish. harrumph.

the principles are:
1)copying and plagiarising is just WRONG. why? coz you aint original to come up with yer own shit, you cant produce the goods, so you copy off others. i'll sound cliched, but seriously, how 'completely unoriginal'.
2)if yer young, and you seek to copy off others to form yer own sense of style and character, fine. yer young, naive, immature, unable to think for yerself yet. but if yer older, in yer late teens(or possibly even older than THAT), i'd think that you'd be more mature, seek not to continue copying off others works, or personality, coz yer real comfy with who you are, you KNOW who y'are, for that matter, and copying off other just dont feel right coz it means that you cant even think for yerself. as they say, necssity is the mother of invention, and if you think smth looks real cool(or wadever), up it a notch, twist it, and then you can call it yer own. make it YOUR style, ynoe? at least bother to be innovative, yo. dont be a lazyass mf'er.
3)people might've spent lotsa time and effort producing all that original stuff, and then you just come along and kope it. some stuff might not be a huge deal, but of course some others might. and in one fell swoop, you just take the damn thing and call it yer own. thats being really inconsiderate, you arsewipe. you gotta respect other people's property. and should you choose not to, at least offer some form of payment for the.. what shall i call it.. 'exchange of ideas'.

money's always good. mmm. i could eat it, but only after proper disinfecting and sanitation have taken place, of course.

so anyway. if you wanna directly copy off someone else, at least do it in a way such that the person would never ever see it, ynoe? be discreet, at least. thats just being smart and polite. smart, coz 1)you never know, you might get sued 2)you never know if yer gonna need/want to copy off the person again 3)you wanna SEEm original, so you cant let the peoson know you copied off him/her as the person's gonna announce to the entire universe that yer a mindless fuck for not having yer own brain. polite, coz yer being considerate of the other person's feelings.

i reckon being smart is a lot more of a motivational factor to copy discreetly off a person, huh.

but heyy, you can copy all you want, but in the end, you still aint gonna be able to tap into this absolutely BRILLIANT MIND of mine, and in the end i'll still rawwwkkk everybody's socks off, and you'll just be a lousy, miserable, copying loser.

hooha!! take that, punk!!

anyway. Chai and co are all heading down to m'sia later today. sighh. i wish a lil that i was going with em. i told Chai to buy me loads of gum already. bubblegum, chewing gum.. i just hope that he 1)has enough cash to buy it all and 2)he remembers to buy it all.

oh yes. have i ever mentioned that i like ball bearings? yes, i do like ball bearings. not big ones, not even the normal sized ones. i like the really really itsy bitsy ones. so small that they're like, twice the size of a grain of rice. they're so frickin small you gotta hold onto em real tight or they'll roll right out from between yer fingers, fall onto the floor and mysteriously disappear.

actually they're just so small that they can roll away to just abt anywhere and you'll never find em til year later when you move outta yer house.

so. i like em tiny tiny ball bearings. for two good reasons.
good reason 1)they're really small and adorable.
good reason 2)they're round, and i like round things.

also, tiny balll bearings are metallic and seemingly perfect, coz you cant see scratches on em, they're too damn miniscule. and so amazingly round. wow. i could lookit a tiny ball bearing the entire day.

ynoe what im thinking of now? a HUGEass glass bottle, full of those mini ball bearings. i think more than a thousand of those ball bearing would fit. wow. it'd be incredible. wow. im not even being sarcastic. i mean it. wow.

anyhow. my eriod's coming, and im feeling bloated. bloody fantastic, dammit. i also happen to want perkier tits, but thats not anything the appearance or disappearance of my period can rectify, only the appearance of a good plastic surgeon.

next time you see me, tell me if i need that plastic surgeon, yea. thank you muchly.

listening to: Hey Ya by Outkast. man i still love this song to BITS. shake it, sh, shake it like a polaroid pictureeeee!

2004-03-11T15:10:00.000+08:00

last night was a really incredible night. quite amazing. i hope that i'll never forget the events that occurred.

so anyways. i went to phuture last night with Sara DJ, Sidney tinks, Jeremy and Tim.

the entire night was a complete waste of time. i didnt get high, i didnt dance much. luckily t'was ladieez night or i would've kicked myself in the head.(not that im that flexible, anyway)

the only really good bit was that Donovan came down last night, even tho he doesnt much like clubbing. i like to think that he came down coza me. *chuckle* i think he did. hooha!

anyways. i only got 4 hours of sleep last night, and i had to wake up to get some important stuff done.. im shagged, dudes.

its sorta a good thing its raining, coz i was sposed to act in Rishi's video(imd project) later this evening. they're gonna film their video at changi beach and all. and yea, its evil of me to be thankful that its raining so that him and his group can do their filming today, but i wanna do a good job for them and i just dont think that i can cut it today. i'd do a pretty lousy job and then everybody wont be happy. better it rains today and their filming gets a lil delayed, then i screw up and the standard of their video gets compromised.

rough plans for the next few days.
friday: tanning at sentosa with Sara DJ and sidney tinks. i seriously doubt that we'll be able to go tanning, its been raining like hell the past few days and even if it doesnt rain, its all cloudy.
saturday: cycling with the girls, and lunch, to sorta celebrate Diana's bday. her bday's tmr!! HAPPY B'DAY TO DIANAAAAAAAAA!!!!! in the evening she's going to another party, and the rest of us girls are heading over to Tim's room at the Ritz.
sunday: out with Donovan Eu, y'all.

whoo. sleep-deprved, i am. g'night.

2004-03-10T18:56:00.000+08:00

i didnt have work yesterday, so i went out with Sara DJ, Amanda, Sidney tinks, Jeremy, El paulo, Ivan smooshy marshmallow, Benedict and Gerald policeman.

i gotta say, it wasnt a pretty sight the way things have turned out. urgh.

anyways. i got back, and i did the laundry for the first time in my entire life. the very FIRST TIME IN MHY ENTIRE LIFE. im so proud of myself. of course, i couldnt have done it without my gorgeous washing machine. wash, tumble, and dry. *chingching!!* it was inevitable, i had to do it.(the washing, i mean) somebody had to do it, and i was the only somebody around. if not, then who, then gerbs?

so yea. then i talked to Sara DJ when she got back, yakked yakked yakked, and then of course i had to completely forget that i did washing. so i made her call my mobile, and we talked as i hung up the laudry. after i was done with the laundry, i made her call my house, and we gabbled til abt 5am. i think. t'was late, anyways.

so. i had work today. wadever. boring day. plus i was tired. good thing Gek Puay was there, it eased the pain. i gotta clarify some stuff with her, too. we both were scheduled to finish work at 4pm, and around 3+ we were at the killiney kopitiam nearby eating french toast when Tim called me. and who should pop up at the same time at killiney but.. *drum roll*.. TIM!!

Gek Puay and i were fucking surprised to see him man, seriously. i didnt expect him to actually visit us here at FOTT. he didnt even tell me that he was gonna pop by. he went down to FOTT but we werent there, so he just went walking around looking for us.

but yea, anyhow, he sent Gek Puay to peninsular plaza where she was sposed to meet El Paulo and whoever, and Tim sent me back.

and im going clubbing tonight with Sara DJ and Sidney tinks. we're gonna be with weihong and some other people for awhile, and i think Tim and Nabil're gonna join us. Weihong's getting his pay and he's buying 10 jugs. whoah. i dont think i'd feel too good sponging drinks off him la ynoe so yea, i doubt i will. it'll be good to hang out with him again tho, really.

this entry's turning out to be quite itinerary-like, and not exactly interesting, but please dont blame me. 1)im lacking sleep(4+ hours of sleep practically equals to no sleep) and 2)im reading the Glamour mag i koped from Lips last night when i was with the girls.. Sara took her very own copy of Allure, too.(so do i)

hell, its 7am. i've missed Becker on the telly, i gotta bathe and get ready for later, i need to check my smses, and i wanna finish my Glamour mag.(its mine NOW) so, bye bye for now.

2004-03-09T04:49:00.000+08:00

it is tuesday morning. it is 4am. i just got off the phone with Sara DJ. i did not know that she was uncontactable for 2 weeks coz she had tonsilitis. as in, really had tonsilitis. i thought she was kidding before. guess she wasnt. poor girl had to be hospitalised. tut tut.

i hope that you wont have tonsilitis again, Sara dearie. dont kiss me k, i dont wanna get tonsilitis also.

anyways.its been an incredibly rainy today. t'was like the rain gods just couldnt stop pissing on our miserable lil island the entire day. my socks got soaked, my shoes got soaked(and got all squelchy), the bottom half of my jeans got soaked, my umbrella was a lil leaky and didnt serve the purpose of keeping the rain off my head coz the rain was coming in thru the damn thing.. but all in all, i was still pretty comfortable.

all this happened on my way to work. and on my way home from work. it rained the entire day, but then again i bet all of you knew that. the good thing is that today was a cool rainy day.

y'see, ynoe how there're some days when it rains and its all humid and steamy and you just feel all icky?? well, t'wasnt one of those days coz most of my body was pretty much dry, i had an umbrella, i was wearing my jacket, and i felt.. comfortable.

dont know what im saying.. lacking some sleep..

i worked 8 straight hours today, from 12pm to 8pm. do da math, yo. i shouldnt be feeling proud of myself, seriously, coz its really damn slack at FOTT. plus t'was raining the whole of today so there werent alotta customers.

i played tetris on my(well, actually, Tim's) phone, i walked around alot, i did some data entry for my boss and then played solitaire AND pinball on my boss's laptop.. sounds obscene, somehow. playing solitaire and pinball on my boss's laptop.. ynoe.. laptop, lap top.. urks.

and coz the rain was so damn heavy, the drains got flooded and FOTT's toilet and drain behind the counter got flooded. never mind that and the cleanup following the flooding, but the thing is, the heavy rain flooded out the rats. no worries, no rats at FOTT, but they were like, outside.

as in, the rats were escaping thru the drains outside. there was even a squashed rat on the road. Jason told Abigail who told me that t;was a squashed rat. i didnt believe her, coz from where i stood outside FOTT, the squashed rat looked like a squid. with the tentacles and all. so even tho t'was drizzling, i went out to inspect it when tehre were no cars so i wouldnt get knocked down and squashed up. and yeahh, t'was a rat. cept that what i mistook for tentacles were its intestines. yummy. i had to tilt my head and lookit the squashed rat from diffrent angles coz it didnt look too much like a rat.. ynoe.. t'was like, Picasso's artwork, man.

far out.

and right outside FOTT was this tiny baby rat, all drenched. it just lay outside, shivering away, not moving. Jason(one of the chefs) and i looked at it a long time. i wanted to pick it up, but i knew the baby rat was a filthy lil thingy. but t'was so adorable. i decided in my head that i'd name it Tootsie.

it didnt move, so i blew on it. it still didnt move, just lay there rolling its tiny head abt and shivering away like a coke addict. jason blew on it too. can you imagine how weird we looked?? squatting outside FOTT, obstructing the narrow walkway, blowing on a wet baby rat. glamorous.

Jason wanted to cook Tootsie. put it in a pot of boiling water, he said. he was kidding.. i hope. then he wanted to stomp on it and put the bedraggled lil thing outta its misery when i realised and told him that Tootie's right hind leg had broken off. cruel to be kind and all that, ynoe. Tootsie's leg was hanging by a thread of skin.. thats why t'wasnt moving. hurt too much or smth, i guess. Jason was kidding abt stomping on it, but i still kinda yelled at him in alarm anyway.

poor Tootsie. it later moved off into an open drain to hide, and soon afterwards t'was gone. i know coz i kept going out to check on it. i like Tootsie. rest in peace, Tootsie.

the rain also flushed out a scorpion, and t'was outside FOTT, crawling on the wall of FOTT along the back alley. short Eric, Chef Leong(the other chef) and i were there. Chef Leong has got the nicest handwriting ever. i wanted to use my ezlink card to catch the scorpion, but i didnt have a bag. Chef Leong told me to get a plastic bag from the kitchen, he said that he'd catch it for me, but i was too lazy to get it. what was i gonna do with the scorpion once i caught it anyway?

at least i could've played with Tootsie. i cant do anything with the scorpion cept provoking it. or killing it.

never mind. i'll catch myself a scorpion some other day.

anyways. Sara DJ and i were thinkin of tanning later today but we decided against it coz 1)we're sposed to meet Amanda 2)it'd probably rain anyways 3)i dont think we'd be able to get up so early anyway.

so we're just gonna meet Amanda and whoever else in town afterwards. hopefully it doesnt rain.. dont like going to town when its all rainy coz its pertty restrctive, you cant go anywhere.

by the way, Tata Young's song 'Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy' is on the radio now. its one of those songs you'd love to hate, and hate it you do. Donovan was singing the song on the radio on sunday night as he was sending me home even tho he doesnt know all the word.s yea, he LOVES the song to bits, yea, its his favourite song, it is. isnt it, my dear boy?? whooo!! sexy, naughty, bitchy Donovan!!

oh yea, recap. i was out with Don on sat, we caught Acacia and Haunted Mansion. damn damn damn, i swear, korean horror flicks never fail to let me down. seriously. what a fuckin letdown. all the damn time, too. aint gonna watch a korean horror flick ever again unless its on vcd or dvd or smth. Ju-On.. Tale Of Two Sisters.. and now Acacia.. all bloody letdowns.

JAPANESE HORROR FLICKS RULE THIS PLANET. american ones are alright sometimes, its just that most of the times you just know that its a movie. sure, you get freaked out, but you go home, forget abt it(easy for me witout ritalin), and move on. japanese horror flicks stick with you man.. whoooooo..

anyways. i stayed over at his place, and then on sunday we caught Runaway Jury. t'wasnt too bad a show. yeahh. no particular feelings towards it. i guess thats why if i had to choose, i'd watch either comedies or horror flicks, coz when you watch these movies, you actually feel smth, ynoe?

yeah yeahh, ynoe ynoe..

ooh! i painted my nails pink, and then i painted a 2nd coat of fine glitter nail polish over it, and then i painted a 3rd coat of nude varnish over it, so its this pretty pink colour. well, its only an alright colour really, its just that i've done a pretty good job, if i do say so myself. and okay, it just looks like a pretty good job, but its really not that good a job coz i did it under the chandelier lights that were all yellow and not very bright.. but it seems good.

when i went to FOTT this afternoon for work, Abigail said that my nails looked as if i went for a real proper manicure!! when i didnt! i did it myself! ohh, im so proud of myself, hoho.

damn nails.. starting to chip.. bloody..

Chai called me just now, he asked me to go to malaysia on saturday. Eldon, janmeet, Priscilla, Glenn and Jan are going. i dont know if i should coz i dont exactly have alotta cash on me right now. [tho i know that if i asked nicely, or begged, Chai would pay for some stuff, or lend me some moolah, or both.] they're thinking of either just going on sunday, or going on sat, staying over at Jan's place at m'sia, and then spending the day there on sunday. im still thinking la really. Tim's got a room at the ritz and he invited a few of us to go down to chill. i gotta get back to Chai by tmr.. yarrgghh.. indecisions, indecisions..

wah lau. this is a seriously piss boring entry. i dont even know why im blogging, im even boring myself.

oh yeahh, now i know why i aint sleeping yet.. im afraid to turn out the lights. the dark sucks. what lurks in the dark sucks more. i dont wanna think abt it anymore. i shall go away now and read webcomics to distract my easily distracted mind. hooha!! take that, you nasty ghosties!! pfft.

and i dont know why, but i miss Donovan. i mean, i just saw him abt 30 hours ago. but i just miss him, i do.. been missing him for the past hour. i sound so codependent, i cant stand it.. but who cares! i miss him. i was really pissy with him over the weekend when i met him, too. upon reflection, i feel that i've been pretty unfair to him.. i was quite nasty to him, really. the boy's an absolut darling to put up with all my bullshit, he really is. i hope that i stop being all pissy. and soon.

by the way, i like Blink 182's song "I Miss You".

listening to: Pedestal by Portishead.

2004-03-05T14:04:00.000+08:00

hey y'all.. i know i know, i havent blogged in bloody ages. apologies, yo.

BEST OF LUCK TO THOSE OF YOU TAKING YER A LEVEL RESULTS TODAY!!!
tho seriously, by the time this entry is posted, you guys would've collected em already. well, heyy, its the thought that counts right? *grinz*

i cant exactly remember what i did last week.. lets see what i can remember..

i went clubbing last wed at phuture with Ollie, Anz, Roxanne, Diana, Tim, Sunny and Nabil. Ollie was flying back to aussie on saturday y'see. anyways. yea. but before we wenta phuture, us 5 ladieez went to Cheeky Monkeys(i know, wtf) to get free drinks coz t'was ladieez night. i got like, yea, kinda high. and i saw Cecil along ms and i yelled out, "HI CECIL!!" and when we left coz Tim came to pick us all up, i yelled again, "BYE CECIL!!". he waved.

it just amuses me to see that whole im-surprised-yer-actually-saying-hi-to-me-but-i'll-act-all-cool-coz-im-so-macho-yo expression on his face, ynoe.

anyways. my lousy samsung phone got stolen from the back pocket of my skirt while i was at phuture. t'was so freakin packed i couldnt even feel it when my tua jia phone kena koped. so Tim lent me his samsung S300 that night, but i met him on friday to exchange phones(im currently using his panasonic GD88) again coz the S300 had his contacts and msgs and stuff.. its not nice to use a phone thats got other people's contacts and msgs and stuff in it..

yea so i went out with Donovan on friday and saturday. we watched Big Fish on friday, and Ruby And Quentin on saturday. RUBY AND QUENTIN RAWWWKKKSSS!!!!

please. for yer own sake, watch Ruby And Quentin. its a french flick, and its, seriously, fucking funny. i love Jean Reno. he acted in Godzilla as well as part of the french investigating team.

i went out with Amanda, Diana, El Paulo, Ivan smooshy marshmallow, Haugeng erge, Benedict and Bizhen on tuesday. Diana and i were working before that. we all watched Honey. its a boring movie. *blergh* and after that we went to potblack to play pool. there was some drama going on.. whoooo.. cant wait to see how that shit turns out.

i met Tim on wed after work, and we played pool. i was disastrous playing with him coz the dude's got a damn pool table at home and obviously, he's gonna practise on it. i dont have a pool table in my home. hmph. so yea.. we caught Butterfly Effect too. i love the movie, i wouldnt mind catching it a 2nd time.. mebbe a 3rd. mmm!! WATCH BUTTERFLY EFFECT!!!

lets see what else.

i got back into tp.. yea.. got kinda booted out coz my grade point average wasnt up to par for 3 semesters so they kindly sent my ass outta the door. i appealed, and i got back in. hurrah. by the way, this was the really, REALLY bad thang that happened to me around december. go check the archives, the entry's around there somewhere.

and i got a job to while away the time before i start my 2nd year *again* in tp in june.. or isit july.. anyways.

the place im currently working at is called Food On The Table, and its a small restaurant & bar. thats what they call it anyway, all they serve is hoegarden and stella artois beer ooutta the taps, and wine. i'd drink beer on the job, but i'd get all red, and the bosses would know i drank on the job, and i'd get fired.

and i want the money so i can buy my lil wants, so i cant drink on the job. mebbe sips..

yea. so. the place is newly-opened, and its at circular road, behind boat quay. no worries, it aint some sleazy joint, the decor of the place is actually pretty cool, and its a decent establishment. and FOTT(im gonna use this in place of Food On The Table, its just too damn cumbersome) has got 3 bosses: Eric Ng(short Eric), Eric Teo(tall Eric), and Dave(who's just Dave).

short Eric and Dave are really really nice dudes. kind and funny. i like working with em.

tall Eric, on the other hand, is pretty much a perv. he doesnt exactly does anything perv, but he says all kinds of perv stuff. he's a sexist male chauvinist pig, he's unfunny(cracks the unfunniest lame jokes possinble that i thought would be impossible), and i dont like working with him. my resolution is to talk as lil as possible to the arse. and this guy has had a girlfriend who's stuck thru his bullshit for the past seven years. thats more than a third of my life man.

lemme tell you abt the kinds of pervy and male chauvinist pig-ish things tall Eric says. do note that when i type in the speech tall Eric says, he doesnt say it exactly like that, im not quoting him exactly.. his english is just too bad for me to remember exactly what he said coz its so grammatically wrong and all. *urgh*

1)Diana, Shirley(this other chick workin at FOTT but has since quit coz her 'a' results were coming out.) and i were spray-painting egg-trays black coz the bosses wanted to use em as a cheap alternative to soundproof the celing at FOTT. Shirley and i were wearing jeans while Diana was wearing a skirt. as we had to kinda squat to spray-paint the egg-trays, Diana said to tall Eric, "heyy im wearing a skirt." and tall eric said, "yah yah.. you better not do it, if not you spray-paint already will also spray-paint your panties black."

like, wtf. this was Diana and my first day on the job, mind you.

2)the ceiling at FOTT is kinda high, and it looked lie even if you had a ladder, you wouldnt be able to reach the ceiling and stick up the egg-trays. one of us asked tall Eric, "how're we going to put up the egg-trays?" and he replied, "you all can stand on our shoulders.. thats what skirts are for!" and then he laughed.

fucking funny, dipshit.

3)tall Eric was telling Diana abt how he thinks that s'poreans are overly dependent on maids.(how much dya wanna bet that he didnt use the exact words 'overly dependent on maids'?) and to use a fine example, he told Diana this, "ynoe when women have their periods? they cant have sex for a week right? so ynoe how s'poreans are so dependent on maids? if a woman has her period, can she ask the maid to help her change her pad also?"

seriously dudes.. WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. its completely illogical, its stupid, its a lousy example(if it can even be called an example in the first place)and it can only come from the mouth of someone as uneducated and idiotic as him. its also bloody sexist, and he chose an inappropriate topic to use to illustrate his example.

4)so, continuing in the same conversation, Diana and tall eric continue talking. Diana isnt happy with what tall Eric said abt the maid changing a woman's pad when she's having her period to show the over-dependency s'poreans have on maids.
Diana: so lets say that you and yer wife are working and y'all have 3 kids. there'll be no one to take care of the kids while the both of you are at work, then dont you need a maid then?
tall eric: then i'll make sure that my wife doesnt work so that she can stay at home to look after the children.
Diana: but even then, one person cant handle all 3 kids.
tall Eric: then i wont have 3 children, i'll only have 1 child la.

okayy.. this guy is such a mf'ing sexist pig, he doesnt care if his wife wants a career, he just wants her to quit her job and stay home to look after the kids? and seriously, what if the both of you want 3 kids, or by accident coz the birth control failed you end up with 3 kids, what then?? tall eric is a bloody moron. moron moron moron.

5)the both of us were talking, and he told me that i should '"take care of myself", and that the 2 worst things that could happen to me was if i 1)did drugs and 2)get pregnant. pretty much sound advice, right? he knows i've got a boyfriend. but then he continued, telling me that if i wanted, i could go to the 7-11 near FOTT, buy durex condoms, and charge it to the store's account. i didnt really know what to say, so i just laughed it off, even tho it wasnt really very funny at all. i told Donovan and my mom what tall Eric said. Don said that it sounded like tall Eric was making a cheap pass at me, which i doubted. but my mom said smth that made sense, she said that tall Eric was tryna use indirect means of finding out whether i had sex or not.

there're alot more examples of his perviness. but let me proceed to tell you abt just, in general, how much of an idiot he is.

he thinks that he's a very good businessman, with remarkable business sense. how i wish that were so. this man does not know how to carry himself, is terribly egotistical, and is blisfully unaware that that his over-zealous attempts at wanting all the nitty gritty details perfected, or that ensuring his customers's comfort will only lead to his downfall.

why do i say so? read on, dear friends, read onnn.

1)for one, he tells me that he is "a cunning and scheming businessman".

if you were "a cunning and scheming businessman", would you actually tell me that you were one unless a)yer a cunning and scheming businessman but crazily egotistical b)yer not really a cunning and scheming businessman, yer just a stupid idiot.

2)the front door to FOTT only goes one way, and that is it pushes IN to the restaurant, and customers always have some sorta difficulty with it. so i told tall Eric we oughta put some kinda sign on the door or smth. first he said that the customers were stupid. i ignored that comment, and told him that we really should put a sign on the door. then he said, "yah yah!! actually i already thought of a sign, i just havent printed it out yet." he had some papers in front of him, so he scribbled what he wanted the sign to be down on the paper.

this is how it will look like if he actually goes ahead to have the sign printed:
-------------------------------
THIS IS A

DOOR
-------------------------------

'this is a pooh door' = 'this is a pull door'.. pooh, pull.. geddit??

i was like, omg! this is so incredibly lame!! i was frankly quite amazed that he could even think of such a monstrosity. of course, i didnt say it out loud la, i was just thinking it in my head. i didnt wanna get fired or anything ynoe. so i just told him, "people arent gonna get it." and he said, "then they're stupid." i repeated it again, slower, hoping that he'd understand what i truly meant, "people arent gonna GET it." and he said again, "then they're STUPID!"

by the way, FOTT is sposed to be a fine-dining establishment, and he wants to put up a lame ass sign like this one. nice. and he calls his customers stupid. nice attitude.

3)he's very fussy abt how the layout of the restaurant is like, wants everything his way, wans everything perfect for the customers. thats alright, i perfectly understand that, i used to work at Spinelli's and they were pretty fussy abt these things too.

so. we've got this aromatherapy burner on the counter, and tall Eric would always come up to the thing and smell it whenever he felt like it. he can do it 4 or 5 times a minute.

visualise this: its lunchtime, the place is full of office-workers having their lunches, and you've got this tall, gangly man, dressed in white from head to toe, with his back towards the customers, having to hunch over the armotherapy burner coz he's so tall, constantly walking over and sniffing the damn thing like a freakin drug addict.

another thing is that when he's smelling the thing, he's obscuring part of my view of the restaurant, and i need to see what's going on so that i can serve the customers and all.

he's so fussy abt appearances and how customers perceive FOTT to be, and he does this kinda thing. he's so unaware of how retarded it all looks. after a few times i couldnt stand it, so i told him, "haha, Eric, i think you'd look a lil bit strange to the customers if you keep smelling that." and he replied, "oh yah hor." and pushed off. however, he was soon back a minute later, and smelling the burner like there was no tmr. *****

there's lots and lots of other stuff, but this is just to give you a basic idea of what kinda person he is.

but really, other than tall Eric, i quite like working at FOTT. at most, i'll just not humour him whenever he cracks a joke, just not talk to him as much, or respond to him in the way he desires me to respond to him. no biggie. there're 2 other bosses, i dont give a shite abt tall Eric.

tho seriously, if things actually get a lil too nasty, i'll tell the other bosses. or if forced to, make a police report. tho really, i doubt i'll havta resort to making a police report. if i do, i'll tell y'all k? *harx*

look, look, tall Eric disgusts me so that i cussed so much more than i normally would.. boohooo.. sad.. *sniffsniff*

anyways. i fibbed and told FOTT that i had a stomachache today coz i wanted to stay in and watch the telly. Survivor: All Stars is on tonight and it looks set to be GOOD. woohooo!!

by the way, i caught Trista And Ryan's Wedding last night.. could anything be ever more amazingly BORING? i only liked the bit that the entire thing cost close to 4 million bucks, tho really, it didnt much look like it really cost 4 million buckeroos, if y'get what i mean. the layout was pretty cool tho. so i watched, and i was alright til all they grandparents and parents and uncles and whatnot started walking down the aisle before Ryan and Trista did, and then it started getting wearisome. i thought that the actual exchange of vows and all that would be pretty cool, but t'was gosh-darn mundane.. ergh.. i swear it practically had a soporific effect on me.

anyways. this has been a long enough entry. wouldnt wanna instill ennui in y'all so i bid you adieu. adieu, adieu!!

listening to: Politically Correct by SR-71.

2004-02-24T02:45:00.000+08:00

whoo! i've got one more brudda to add to the list! in-tro-du-cingggggg.. *drum roll please thankew very much*.. Tim Yong!!!!

welcome to da club, brudda! we will do our best to ensure that you have as nice a stay as possible. *grinz*

anyways. go visit meat or accident. its quite, quite graphic. basically, they show you this small chunk of meat, and yer sposed to pick one of the choices, whether its real meat or whether t'was a human who got into an accident. pretty cool stuff. check it out now, da funk soul bruddas.

so yea. ynoe.

i swear my mother's tryna kill people. no, really.

okayy.. see.. my mother has this thang abt stuffy rooms so she has to throw open all the damn windows in the house. okayy.. thats not exactly technically correct coz my windows are the sliding ones, ynoe, the ones that slide.. so ANYWAYS. she just has to have the living room windows, her room window, the kitchen windows, even my room window, all wide open. and i dont see the point, really, especially when it comes to my room window.

so..
me:but yer not even in my room, what does it matter to you whether my room windows are open or not?? you arent in it!
mom: i cant stand it!
me: i can stand it la.
mom: how can you stand it??
me: i dont care much for fresh air. and if i open the bloody windows, i'll havta close em again at night when i switch on the aircon. [i stand by the same theory where i think that its silly to fold yer blankets when you wake up coz yer gonna havta unfold em when you use em at night. i mean, isnt it just stupid to fold the damn bloody thing at all?? thats why i dont fold mine.]
mom: you ah!!

and then she walks into my room and opens my room window anyway. i quite hate sunlight, by the way, cept when i go tanning. so i dont like it whe the sun boldly shines into my room when the windows're open and it gets all hot and sunny and bright. erghh.

okayy, wadever, if she wants to open my room windows, fine. but if you open em, close em at night! but see, no, i gotta do that y'see, so whats the point of openig the BLOODY WINDOWS?!

okayy. was goin on a major freakout there. a thousand apologies. *coughcough*

so yes, as i was saying, to tell you that my mom likes 'fresh air' that doesnt exist in singapore, and she likes the windows open.

so thing is, recently, we had the toilets in the house repaired. one of em was going crazy leaking away, and the other one was quite alright sitting there. my mom had the leaky one repaired, but outta convenience's sake she had the other one repaired as well(go figure), so now we've got those loos that have got the cool flush buttons instead of the flush handles.

pretty cool, really, coz the flush buttons arent on the top, they're where the old flush handles were, so the flush buttons are vertical and.. okayy.. yea.. cool flush buttons, y'get the point.

yada yada yada, my mom decided to get the guy who repaired our loos to fix our kitchen windows too. i dont know what exactly this guy does, but i think he's a multi-purpose dude, or smth. mebbe he MAINLY repairs toilets, but he does window-fixing on the sly, ynoe. cunning bastard.

so yea, Mr. Multi-Purpose didnt have the bracket for the window after he'd taken it outta one of the kitchen windows, so he told my mom not to open the window. ynoe why he told her that? coz without the bracket, if you open the window, the entire thing might just crash down and slam someone on the head and crack their skull.

see, that'd be pretty fun, but not if we're the ones who gave the guy the cracked skull, coz then we'd havta pay for his hospital bills, and i'd seriously much rather get myself some new clothes. really, i'd rather do that.

so, i walk into the kitchen while my mom's washing up some stuff, and i see the window open. and i didnt know abt the whole missing bracket thang til she told me just now. and im just bascially, ynoe, bloody flabbergasted. there're 2 other windows besides that 1 window, she didnt havta have it open and risk killing someone. i ask her why she even has the bloody window open, and she says, "i couldnt stand it."

im like, "mummy, yer a member of the RC, and that bloody window could break off coz it doesnt have a bracket, fall off, and crash on somebody's head and kill the person, and its all coz you couldnt stand it? can you please close the window later?" and she just looks at me sheepishly, ynoe.

wow. im so gonna bring up this incident the next time my mom says im irresponsible.

my mom subconsciously wants to kill random people unfortunate enought to be walking around below our block of flats, i swear.

and i've been eating kfc chicken the entire night. its either kfc chicken or nothing this week. oh yeahh, and coleslaw too.. a huge ass tub of it, man. coleslaw is the new salad, yo. and its cheaper. its like, blue-collared salad.

anyways. im talking to Amanda on the phone now, and i gotta go coz i cant blog at the same time, its distracting. so, adios, muchachos!

2004-02-23T17:40:00.000+08:00

[caution: crazyass long entry ahead. beware speed bumps & humps.]

i had the entire entry down pat and then i lost it all last night. bloody blogger.(i just love alliteration, dont you?) so im retyping everythin out now, hell hell hell.

i didnt do anythin on friday, i just stayed home while people went out, revelled and got drunk. i watched Survivor. Rob.C got voted off. ynoe, the super scheming + manipulative one who didnt win a million bucks the last time he was in Survivor. loser.

on saturday, i went to acjc's fun-o-rama(and will henceforth be referred to as "funorama" for convenience's sake) in the afternoon with Janmeety, Chai, Sundeep, Eldon, Soong, Mit, Anand and Menon.

t'was mf'ing hot. the sweat was pouring off me, i shouldnt even have bothered putting on any bloody makeup, it all got washed off by my sweat man.

ooh! but the guys noticed my tan, tho! so that was cool. en passant, my tan's fading, so im gonna go tanning some more. Donovan says im gonna burn a hole in my skin. i'll wait til that happens before i stop going tanning

can you imagine if im at sentosa and im this gorgeous burnished brown, and alluva sudden a spot of my skin catches on fire?? that'd be pretty funny.

so yea, funorama was quite a waste of time and money, besides the fact that i gotta meet up with the guys and bump into a couple of other friends there. i bought $10 worth of coupons.. i shouldnt have. i shouldnt have bought any at all coz Chai bought $20 worth and he didnt know what to do with em at the end of the day coz everythin was so not worth spending any money on.

wah lau. 20 bucks man. hardcore.

so yea. i ate a $5 hotdog, and t'was a pretty good hotdog, but still. and i spent the rest on an icky camarel drink and yecky kenny rogers's doryfish. Chai and i walked around, tryna find stuff to waste his coupons on, and we bought some food and other crappy stuff.

i wanted a balloon, so Chai got me one. i chose a pretty ol skool swirly one, and i asked the girl to make it a big one, so she did. t'was preeeeetttyyy. and it cost Chai four freakin bucks. for a balloon that lost its helium at the end of the night.. t'was cheap helium!! t'was EXTORTION, me maties!! but i think among all the stuff we bought that day, the balloon was the best deal, yo.

t'was a preeeeeetttyy balloon. and i carried Janmeety's backpack and Chai asked me to skip down the hill outside ac and wave my balloon around. and i did, and Chai said that i looked like a lil girl. aw.

Chai and i saw this huge yellow inflatable hand next to one of the stalls. the thing stoof up to my waist, and it had a bell inside that tinkled away merrily when Chai and i stole it. *tinkly tinkle*

pity we didnt deflate it, these 3 ac guys came up to us and asked us for it back. i mean, how much more conspicuous can you get, walkin around with a gigantic yellow hand that tinkles??

but Chai said that our friend gave it to us, and he told em that we'd go back to the stall(after askin em for directions to their stall) to return the hand after we talked to our 'friend'. of course there was no 'friend' who gave it to us, we were the ones who koped the bloody thing. and the 3 guys actually let us go, that was the funny bit. Chai started giggling and i was smiling and i told Chai to shut up, they'd hear us laughing. well. anyway. the stallowner came after us a soon after and bitchily asked us for it back. so we gave it back, coz i think she was right behind us when Chai and i were discussing the name we should give our imaginary 'friend'. we'd just decided on the name Joshua when she came right up to us and said in a nasal voice, "i believe thats my hand." so we gave it back to her, imposing presence that she was, in her acjc shirt and shorts. *psssh*

yo, chill, babe.

so yea, Chai and i and the rest of the guys left at abt 5pm, and omg t'was so freakin hot we couldnt hail a cab coz there werent any freakin cabs and we walked all the way out frfom bloody ac to bloody buona vista mrt, thats how far we walked. so yea, i rushed home coz Ollie's party was on that same night and i had to meet Diana and Sara DJ in town first.

it is inconvenient to go home from buona vista to hougang, on the bus and train, when yer holding a helium-filled balloon. granted, t'was a big pretty swirly ol skool balloon, but it aint too cool with people when yer funky balloon's bonking em on the head. repeatedly. but i stuck it out, and now i've got a dead pretty balloon with me. dead, coz it dont float around and defy gravity no more. *sniffsniff*

rush rush rush. bathe and change and i was outta the house again, goin off to far east to meet Rishi beardy first. he was gonna pass me the earrings he bought for me from india, just that they're long-overdue now, coz he hadnt had a chance to pass em to me. he was with Dan da man and Pam, so i gotta talk to em, too. James was sposed to be with em as well but he was off mooching around at far east with his girlfriend.

the earrings Rishi got me are pretty damn gorgeous, all elaborate and stuff, but boy they're heavy. i think my earlobes'll rip to lil bloody pieces when i wear em. Rishi beardy couldnt find a bag to put the 2 pairs of earrings in so he put em in an ang pow and sealed it with scotch tape. auspicious earrings, yo!! and then Rishi and i just stood around, talkin and catching up and bitchin away like whores.

then Sara DJ came in a cab, and she picked Diana and me up, and we were off to Ollie's house party coz t'was her BIRTHDAY!!!! and when we reached her house, i dropped the bottle of gin Sara and i wanted to give to Ollie coz Sara's ck paper bag was ripped up the side. so the bottle crashed onto the road *piang* and it broke and now the left leg of my jeans and my slippers smell like gin. yummy! not.

we went in, and t'was all scgs and ac people. i didnt know any of the ac people cept for Tim, Nabil, Lionel and Jolene. Sunny, i'd seen around before, and he said i looked familiar, but saturday was the day we got properly introduced. sc girls present: Ollie(well, d'oh!), Rozanne, Zhi, Shupz, Anz, Jan, Diana, Yixuan, Corinne, Candice, Andrea. i might've left out a few girls coz i didnt speak to most of em. there was lotsa good food and drinks, so t'was all gooooood.

i gotta meet this dude for the first time, his name is James, he's 15 and in barker. he looks his age, and he's got poofy spiky hair. he had a live cuttlefish in a bag. and speaking of poofy.. Ollie's got the cutest lil dog called Toffee and he's got poofy fur!! he's so adorable. ollie warned me that he'd bite, but he didnt bite me, instead he came over whenever i called his name and he licked my hand!! how immensely gratifying. i like Toffeedog. lots.

Ollie's mom was very nice too, and she wanted everythin to be good for all of us. she seemed to be very worried abt cake. i talked alot of nonsense to her, but i wasnt rude or anything. i was just basically being an idiot when i talked to her, i was having fun, saying all kinds of inane things to her.

anyways. Sara DJ, Diana, Tim and i were the first ones to move outside, where Ollie had placed tables and chairs for us. the cd player was outside as well, so t'was cool. we moved outside to talk and drink and smoke, so we had the best of all worlds: fags, drinks, good company, music of our choice, cool breeze.. mmm!]

the party gradually moved out, and it got rockin. everyone was sittin around, and talkin, and playin drinking games. well, the group i was sitting with was the only group playin drinking games, but wadahey.

i got high, and then some. i sweared more(the mouth slips when the brain aint in control, yea), and when i took pictures with people i did ridiculous poses, like pretending to lick the girls and saluting when i was standing behind Lionel. cept that i was holding a fag or a drink or smth in my right hand so i saluted with my left hand.. it felt natural.. but then again, i aint no soldier. Tim, Sara Dj and i made a few toasts to "eternal friendship", and Sara and i had our own toast, to "tanorexia". those were pretty damn good toasts, if i might say so myself.

and i thought t'wa so cute.. Zhi and Sara hadnt met before, but when i introed em, Zhi suddenly said, "Sara DJ!!" and i laughed, coz Zhi read abt Sara from my blog and used the monicker on her when they first met! isnt that just the cutest?? plus, it means that Zhi reads my blog!! extra points!! so Zhi baby, if yer readin this, you rawwwkk, girl!! and i'll see you on wed at zouk, yo!

ooh! i just remembered! one more good thing besides the guys noticing my tan. Diana and Rishi said that i lost weight!! and James said that i was skinny!! cool beans.

of course, this doesnt mean that im satisfied with either my tan or my weight, ynoe.

so anyways. all in all, t'was pretty good. Ollie was an excellent host, passing out drinks earlier on, making sure everyone ate and drank.. she rawwwwkkked!! she's a cool chick, yo.

Sara DJ and i left at around 2+ am, after i promised the sc girls that i'd go clubbing with em on wed night at zouk. heyy, its not everyday that we all go clubbing together, im going!!

Sara and i went to meet El Paulo and Gerald kor at embassy, and i gotta meet Benedicet and Ivan smooshy marshmallow for awhile, too. everyone else was scattered all over the place and Sara and i couldnt be bothered to go find em, i was having a bleeding headache and Sara was tired.

Sara, El Paulo and i got into the cab, and they dropped me off in town before they headed home. i took the nightrider home. christ the damn bus was cold.

so yeahh.. thats saturday for ya.

on sunday, i met Donovan, and we caught Something's Gotta Give.

it frankly wasnt all that fabulous, i prefer Along Came Polly, really. and i've decided that i dont really like to watch old people make out.. coz Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton made out alot, and she had to act like she was all turned on and abt-to-cum in the movie.. oh mannn.. that was a lil.. painful.. Donovan covered his eyes and i had to look away at some bits.

i mean, cmon, Jack Nicholson called Diane Keaton's tits "beautiful" in the movie. if you ask me, they looked pretty normal to me.

Keanu reeves also nuzzles Diane Keaton's neck, and kisses her lots. Donovan and i were wondering how much all the actors got paid to do their stuff. ynoe.. kissing old people and stuff. good thing t'wasnt r(a), i dont think i could've taken it if Jack really did go down on Diane. oh good god. my head.. it hurts..

and i bought Donovan a big double fudge cookie from mos burger.

we bumped into Alex papa and Sean, i hadnt seen Alex papa in so damn long!! i was pretty damn happy to see him. we saw Yanxun too, he's holding a party at paradigm, tho he guarantees there's gonna be no techno, just r&b. surely so. Yanxun looked like he'd gotten punched in the eye, there were bruises under his eye and over other parts of his face.

oh yeahh. and i was a-thinkin.. coz ynoe, i've got a rather big ribcage for my body. and since i cant do anythin to alter that fact, except to possibly wear a corset everyday and that aint gonna happen coz i happen to like breathing and enjoy being alive without having smelling salts stuffed under my nose every 2 mins coz i keep passing out from overly constricted lungs and heart, i've decided that the next best thing to balance everythin out would be to get a boob job.

no, really. a b-cup aint too much ter ask fer, would it now? sure, i've thought abt it, but i still aint sure, ynoe. but if i got boob implants, then my ribcage wouldnt be noticeable coz my bigger breats would hide that fact, and plus, everyone else'll notice the boobs and not the chest, yo!!

hell. im a bloody fuckin genius, i am.

anyways. im at home now, and this is a bloody long entry, me thinks. i believe that this may be the longest entry i've ever typed out. history has been made, ladieez and gents!! crafted out of inane ideas, factual facts, and ridiculous happenings!

and comics, of course. just to drag out the pain. *smirx*

culled from Wigu.com only, of course

and isnt this sweet.. Benedict left me this testimonial on friendster:
"Maddie, the cowboy hat looks superb on ya!!! Cowgirl's coming to town.. woohoo.."

haha.. i thought that was quite funny.. but yea, that time we all went out and we went to fourskin coz i wanted the fedora hat but didnt get it coz my head was too big but i tried on the cowboy hat instead and everyone said that i should get it? yeahh..

anyways. this entry has come to an end, ladieez and gents. i know yer sad. you are SAD!!

so have a nice day, dont trip up and fall down, bye bye for now my dahlings. *mwahhh!*

2004-02-20T08:27:00.000+08:00

i went tanning again yesterday at sentosa with Sara DJ.

since my back was hurting and my face was peeling, i decided that t'was a good thing the sun was being chicken and hiding in the clouds most of the time so that we didnt get the full force of its rays.

damn t'was annoying. i was on the bus, my way to the mrt station to meet Sara DJ, and i decided to check my face out on my compact.. and horror!! the skin above my left eyebrow and left cheek was merrily peeling away!! i slapped on some emergency moisutiser on the bus, right there and then. better to look vain then in the first stage of decomposition, i say.

oh yeahh. and when i was finally on the train to harbourfront(i was late, as usual..) there was this woman, who looked like she was in her 40s, sitting opposite me on the train. okayy. nothin unusual abt that, right? its not like her head was sitting beside her on the seat or anythin.

but she was making this strange sound with her lips, like when you make the sound "brrrr.." and yer lips kinda flap out, cept that her didnt flap out as much, and spittle was spilling outta her mouth, and she kept wiping it up with a blue towel she had in her plastic bag.

she didnt even just do it occasionally, she did it the entire way from dhoby ghaut to harbroutfront, non-stop, cept when she was wiping up her spittle. even when she was looking in her bag, or checking her wallet, or wadever, she'd make that sound. granted, it wasnt loud, but t'was def a lil strange.

i couldnt help staring at her, tryna decipher the kinda sound she was making, and she caught me staring twice. so i looked away, d'oh, its rude to stare, and even worse to get caught doing it. then she went up to this elderly ang moh couple sitting down a few metres away, and started talking to em. she was talking to em animatedly in english, tho i couldnt hear all of it. she was wearing a skirt, but she kinda squatted down and started doing ape-like mvements and gestures, as if to demonstrate her point on smth.

okayy.. that was a lil.. weird. there were these 3 malay teens on the train next to me and one of em went closer to her to inspece her before declaring her to his friends as "gila".

anyways. i just walked out when t'was my stop, leaving the woman and the ang moh couple behind.

Sara DJ wasnt there yet, i'd told her to take her time coz i'd be late, so i decided to occupy my time by asking the ang moh couple what the woman spoke to em abt. they looked a lil lost, so i decided to play the Good Samaritan and ask em if they needed help.

they did, actually, need help. with their refunds for the ezlink card. so i helped em out, and then i asked em, "sorry, im just curious. what was that woman on the train talking to you about?"

turns out she gave em a piece of paper, and on it was printed some religious stuff. i only had a galnce at the paper when the ang moh man took it out to show me, it wouldnt be too nice to snatch it from him to read it. but i caught some english words, and i think some jappish words as well, tho i could be wrong.

then i let the ang moh couple go, we said our goodbyes, and i bid em good day.

nice lil encounter there. heyy, gotta be tricksy when you wanna find out info, right? and i did help em out, tho i gotta admit that it wasnt my primary objective.

anyways. i only tanned the front of my body yesterday since my back always gets too much attention from the sun(actually coz its so much more comfy to fall asleep on yer front than on yer back, when you face the sun and its shining thru yer bloody eyelids. yer squinting even tho yer eyes are bloody shut) and okayy.. i got pretty tanned.. i think.. you be the judge when you meet me, aight? *harx*

when Sara and i went to town after that Amanda said that ita a "nice brown", Bizhen called me a bangla as we were all shootin some pool(nice goin, dude) and when i bumped into Ollie in town, she asked why i looked so "chao da?"

yeap. so i think i got preeeeety tanned. im actually quite alright with my skin colour now. dont think i'll be going into the sun anytime soon coz my skin hasnt exactly healed yet, tho i think its gonna go on a peeling rampage quite soon. eww.

heyy, the price to pay for vanity, right?

anyways. when Sara and i went to town, we met up with Sidney tinks, Amanda, El Paulo, Haugeng er ge, Bizhen, Mark 6 and Danny.

Haugeng was sposed to meet Donovan and Lionel at holland v but i've no idea why the both of em came down to town instead. but coz they did, i gotta see Donovan for abt.. a minute. whoop dee doo! held his hand, hugged him a lil, smacked him bum, and sent him on his way. and so him, Lionel and Haugeng went off together to.. do wadever it is guys in town do.

we were waiting for Don and Lionel to come down actually, coz we all couldnt leave Haugeng alone in town. we were all gonna head down to Gardens to eat. chomp chomp still isnt opened yet, but we ate the other coffeeshop opposite chomp chomp. chomp chomp rawwwkkks!! too bad its not opened.. crappit. both Mark 6 and Bizhen drove yesterday, so t'was good.

i just had a teh-ping coz 1)i was broke 2)i didnt wanna borrow any more money from people 3)being broke was a good excuse for me to reinforce my 'diet'. yea ynoe.. my on-off-on-off-on diet? Amandad Sidney tinks didnt eat either, only all the guys.

males and their stomachs. tskk.

anyways. the guys were all reliving their old ac primary and secondary times, and its really quite amusing coz its like hanging out with Chai, Janmeet, Sundeep and Dasson, cept that these're new stories. Danny didnt contribute any, tho. but yeahh.. some of the stuff was actually pretty damn funny, and i was laughin fucking loudly. luckily the coffeeshop was pretty empty.

some of their stories?

sure.. like how when they were in sec school and they took the pri school bus home, everyday a different pri school kid would get stripped naked and made to catwalk up and down the bus butt nekkid. even pri 1 kids would do it. fuckin pervs, man, these kids. and then the kid would stick his head outta the window and wave to the outside world. and how one of the sec school kids got so annoyed he took the kid's underwear, threw it into the rearview mirror, and it rebounded and smacked the bus uncle in his face. nice.

or how one day, one kid stole the bus uncle's wallet as he got off the bus, and the uncle didnt know til he was abt to reach El Paulo's house. but he didnt send El Paulo home, instead the bus uncle backtracked and went back to every single house til he found the kid. the kid's mom had the stolen wallet.

or how one of their friends was caught smoking by the discipline master and wouldnt put out the fag dispite the discipline master just standing right there, saying, "if you dont put it out i'll expel you!" and the dude saying, in between puffs, "wait la sir! just a bit more! i dont want to waste it!" sweet.

or how their bus uncles would pluck out their beard hairs with coins.. or pick their noses, inspect the trasure, before proceeding to flick it outta the window.. or notice a pretty girl in the traffic, and ask the boy sitting beside em, "oei, eh sai bo?" [translation: oei, can or not?"]

okayy.. so there were alot more stories than these, but its just a rough guide of the kinda stuff they were talkin abt. i love it when barker boys relive old times.

when i was in scgs, and i'd listen to the stuff that my barker friends would tell me happened in their school, or the stuff they did, or the stuff they got caught for doing, i quite wished i was in barker myself. it wouldnt have made that much of a difference to my lousy grades anyway, and i'd have fun.

dammit.

in scgs the worse crime you could get ever caught for was forging yer parent's signature. or stealing. or cheating. and over there in barker they were doing wayy worse stuff and never getting caught at all.. bloody hell.. i seriously felt at that point of time that t'was all freakin unfair, man.

owell. that period of my life's over so no point bitchin abt it.

anyway.. after dinner + reminiscing session, Mark 6 sent Sidney tinks, Danny and i back, while Bizhen sent the others back. i was home by 11.30pm. early, right? i know.. im too guai la.. what to do..

i swear, Sidney tinks and i have tons of mutual friends, just that we dont know abt it.

like today, we were playin pool, and she saw William wolverine at the next table, and she said, "william!" and then i saw him coz she called him, and i yelled, "william!!" it always happens. Sidney'll always see the person first, then me, and then we'll realise that we both know the person. its like our past(or mine, anyways) catching up with us(or me, really).

t'was quite good seeing William, i hadnt seen him in ages. he hasnt changed much, me thinks. we used to be quite close but we've drifted apart la. naturally. no fights or anythin. we'd even set up a website each last time, worked on our respective webbies together, shared tips and then linked each other up. we were like different-looking siblings, or smth. i think that he's the better lookin sibling.

oh yea. i was watching AMI3 on wed and ynoe they've got those sms boxes at the bottom of the screen? and i saw: "Matthew Wan.. ACJC hunk!!" it said other stuff too, but i was like, wtf?! i mean, this person didnt even leave a name, and spent 50 cents telling the world that Matt's an acjc hunk..

speaking of siblings, i've got tons of 'bruddas' running around everywhere. here's a possible list of every 'official' brudda i've got [surname included for specifications's sake]:
Alex Zhang
Chang kor
Clifford
(aband) Din
Gerald kor
Hansen
John Fan
Junjie
Luoyi
Matthew Wan
Randy Yeo
Ray
Sascha twinny
Xianz
Zhiyang

i think thats abt it. i might've left out a few here and there. some of these bruddas i hardly keep in contact with anymore, even tho we used to be pretty close, til we drifted. yea sure, its a lil lame, but its kinda fun too, ynoe. especially since im an only kid, its nice to know that i've got bruddas everywhere. literally.

aight.. im done here. gonna go worry abt stuff now. toodle-oo!

listening to: Running by No Doubt.

2004-02-18T00:21:00.000+08:00

im listening to Ross Roy by Jacob De Haan now.. and i kinda miss the times in scgs when i was in the band, really, even tho i screwed up and stuff sometimes while playing the tumpet.

Edna Edna, remember?? man.. the syf and everything.. and mr. Yap..

kinda makes me wonder why i didnt put in more effort while i was in the band. listening to Ross Roy now, i can even remember the bits when mr. Yap, our conductor, told us not to mess up. and the solo bits, i still remember how someone would just screw up, and you could always hear it. okayy, even when there werent solo bits(like the soft bits, loud bits, slow bits and fast bits), someone would screw up, and you could still hear it.

but t'was all good. i even remember once, mr. Yap was saying that one thing good abt me(yea, there werent alotta good bits abt me then. and now) was that no matter what, i always played loudly. i didnt know how to take it back then, whether as an insult or a compliment, but apparantly, t'was a compliment. years later, a junior from band comes up to add me on friendster, and even she can remember that particular remark(or compliment). and i think its quite amazing, considering that i dont even remember HER at all.

quite unfortunately, there were always politics of some kind going on in band. christ. i guess there're politics everywhere, so its no big surprise.

well. anyways. the Alvamar Overture by James Barnes has come on now.. *sighh*.. memories.. some fond, some not..

2004-02-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

this is so lame. when i wanna visit my own blog, the taggie doesnt show sometimes, so i gotta go to tagboard.com to see my taggie from there. its ridiculous. i cant even reply people's tags from there, for god's sakes.

anyways. i like watching the Get Real! segment hosted by Diana Ser on channel newasia. i think people can relate to em, and even if they cant, its all informative and interesting.

so's the news, but the news isnt interesting sometimes. unlike Get Real!

you might've seen trailers for it on channel 5 or channel newasia(if you even have the channel installed on yer telly in the first place, heyy).. the one where Diana Ser's on it(she's pleasant-looking, too) and the several episodes they featured were the ones where they go to geylang to see what its like, or the one with overweight people, or the one with child models.. ynoe, just to see how all these people feel and all. stay tuned.

and im just wondering here, but why exactly doesnt singapore permit same-sex marriages? no, seriously, you guys. besides the fact that certain religions oppose to it. sure, the guv'ment might say that its "unnatural", but who the HELL are they to say what's natural and what's not?? i mean, of all people, dont you think that it'd be a lil odd if they're the ones to state what's natural or unnatural?

isnt it a lil unfair here? why should the people who dont wanna be in same-sex marriages have a say in it? they arent the ones who're gonna be involved in the marriage. okayy, you wanna let Saddam loose into the world again, i say, of course, the public's got a say in that, coz Saddam could bomb yer house next. *terbabom!!*

but really, what's wrong with gay people wanting to settle down and get married and all? what's it gotta do with you, mr. im-so-damn-straight-it-hurts? if they get married, it really is their own business, they arent gonna hurt anybody, are they?

in fact, i reckon they're the ones who're gonna get ostracised and despised by The Straight Ones(read: us) just coz they swing another way. which is really quite unfortunate. cliched, i know, but they're human too, and dont they have some rights?

okayy, lets not go into how chickens shouldnt be mindlessly slaughtered coza the bird flu rampage and how chickens have rights, i dont think i can handle that big a case.

back to the matter at hand here, y'all. its a small matter to some of us, but for those out there who're happily and blissfully gay and in a relationship, they arent able to be officially married coz singapore's got too damn narrow a perspective to allow it. and for some reason i feel outraged for em, even tho im quite, quite heterosexual.

owell. guv'ment sees all, hears all, knows all, right?

anyways. among one of the presents that Donovan gave me for vday was a big original Mogu bear. cmon, stir up that memory, ynoe what that is. its one of those things that're stuffed with tiny lil styrofoam beads so that it gives the thing a liquid-ish feeling.

so yeahh. he gave me one, and its a bear with no eyes and its big and its hot pink. *sizzzzle* which is really cool, coz they're remarkably squishable. and they arent exactly, er, cheap. oh yes. what i wanted to say was that i've named the super-squishy Mogu bear after one of the tribes from Survivor: All Stars.

t'was sheer coincidence, i swear. when Don first gave it to me in the car when he picked me up, i thought for awhile and decided to name thr bear Mogo Mogo. and then i realised that t'was the name of the Survivor tribe, which also happens to be my fav tribe in my fav Survivor season coz its got RICHARD bloody HATCH, the scheming, manipulative bastard who won a million fuckin bucks.

i love that dude.

so yea. and then i realised that Mogu's the brand of the bear thingy, so it all fit. three good reasons to keep the name Mogo Mogo for the bear: 1)it came to me *almost* immdediately 2)its the name of my fav tribe from Survivor and 3)its like a repetition of the brand of the bear. plus, it helps that the name really fits. Mogp Mogo, y'all! cmon, what other name would better fit a ridiculously squishy bear that doesnt have any eyes, has limbs disproportionate to its body, and is hot pink???

good, no?

well, Donovan calls it Ratboy coz he thought t'was a rat til i corrected him on that rather grievous error. actually.. my mom also thought t'was a rat when i first showed Mogo Mogo to her.

Mogo Mogo is heart-broken. he does not seek to be the lowly despised rat. he wants to be sunbear of the highest order. correction.. make that: hot pink sunbear of the highest order.

i sleep with Mogo Mogo and im so scared that i'll snag on his.. skin(if thats what you call it) that i've cut all my nails real short.

actually, no la. im just messin with ya. my nail completely broke off on sunday so i had to cut em all to the same length. i was quite devastated, really. bloody nail. i had to cut em all, couldnt bloody go around with 9 bloody nice nails and 1 lameass nail, could i? its all abt uniformity, man. uniformity and equality are the key words of the day, yo!!

so anyways. back to Survivor and Richard Hatch. have i mentioned before that he's my absolute fav Survivor survivor? why, i believe i have. sure, Rob was way more manipulative, but he screwed it all up for himself in the end, the fool. i havent been watching Survivor lately, tho, so i hope that Hatch hasnt been voted out yet. he rawwwwkkks. go go Richard!!! rah rahh rahhh!!!

gonna go now, gotta go give Mogo Mogo my Hug Of Death. Donovan, you reading this, yea.

listening to: Stranded by Plumb.

2004-02-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

"Life's as easy as A to Z."

i love all the yellow pages adverts. i do!! they're all goddamn funny, man. i find myself dancing along with all those dudes in the yellow skin-tight suits.

DO THE HUSSLE!!!!
doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo dooooo..

godd. they're totally funky. the adverts, i mean.

i also like the honey stars adverts. ynoe, the one with the happy bear in the spacesuit and he's in space and he always has to tackle some evil space monster?? but thang is, the monster dont wanna harm nobuhdee! it just want some honey stars, yea!! honey stars, man!! and after they get a spoonful of magical honey stars, they're placated and happy space monsters, instead of evil space monsters.

cmon, somebody give those boogeymen some honey stars.

anyways. i was watching Becker just now, and today's episode was really quite good. i mean, Becker's always good, dont get me wrong, but today's one was a lil more exceptional.

t'was a christmas eve episode, and Becker had a patient who died in his clinic's waiting room. the guy was dressed up as a santa, and there were all these kids in the waiting room as well. next thing ynoe, you see all these kids lined up next to the dead santa, asking him for toys.

you gotta see it. priceless.

and coz the santa dude hadnt had any listed next-of-kin, becker had to go down himself to identify the body at the morgue. and at the morgue, the.. morgue dude(wadever he's called) had stored beer in the in an empty.. body fridge(wadever you call that) coz t'was christmas eve and all the morgue dudes and dudettes were having a lil celebration. yea, xmas eve celebrations at the morgue. there was shrimp, too, but the huge bowl of shrimp was in another body fridge, between the legs of a cadaver.

nice.

and the christmas tree that Reg gave him caught on fire.

very satisfying episode.

anyways. i still feel this tiny surge of excitement when i see what Donovan gave me, along with quite a good dose of guilt. damn i dont deserve all this stuff. he's too good to me. oh wait, make that too good for me. my grammar! ha! haa!

im craving for some fish&chips now. fish&chips.. good.. *slobber*

2004-02-16T18:29:00.000+08:00

i had the most wonderful valentine's day ever. ever. the greatest vday in the history of maddie's life. that'd be moi.

i asked Donovan if it'd be okay if i blogged abt it, and he was quite alright with it, but i spose im not going to. well, i mean, not the details of it, anyways.

Donovan is, without a single doubt in the whole world, the sweetest, most thoughtful, amazing, generous, kindest, accomodating, and wonderful guy in the whole wide world. without a doubt.

it wasnt just the presents he got me, either. i mean, he gave me wayy more than i expected to receive. i never knew vday could get this good. he's goooood. he'd put so much thought into it that t'was just.. incredible. he'd even wrapped em himself, specially picking out black and pink wrapping paper, coz he knows its my fav colour combo.

okayy, yea, so its a kiddy colour combo.. but i loike.

but spending time with him was the best(tho like i said, the presents were fabulous as well). and its the lil things that matter, ynoe? like i said, wrapping the presents himself with hot pink + black wrapping paper. and him going to so much trouble to make it all so special. and him listening to my unreasonable dinner request. and him kissing me in the morning, even tho i had morning breath.(MAJOR brownie points there!!)

other stuff, too. these're just a few of the things he did.

i felt completely and utterly undeserving of everything he did for me, i really did. i was so incredibly touched, and happy, and feeling like i wasnt worthy of him and everything he did(and bought) for me, that i cried. it wasnt huge sobs, i didnt heave or leave snot trails all over the carpet, nothin like that. i dont even cry like that when im crazy-ass upset, yo. so unglam. but i dropped a few tears, and really, thats quite alot for me already. and the tears wouldnt dry up, even tho i told myself *fiercely* to stop crying, t'was silly. i was crying coz i was HAPPY, man. i was practically rendered speechless when i saw everything that he'd done for me, i could only just hug him, and before i knew it, i was tearing up.

for the first time, in the history of man, maddie cries coz she's happy.

thats me.
t'was so strange, i've never cried coz i was happy before. in my defence, i didnt purposely shed those tears coz its drama-mama and always looks good on the telly, it just happened. incredible, isnt it? i know.. it is!

Donovan's the bestest best boyfriend ever!! *squeal! squeal!!*

but really, he is. and in my opinion, the presents i got him could never live up to what he got and did for me, not in a million years, and that me me feel all the more.. guilty.

so. lets do a run-down of all the emotions + feelings i felt. and not in chronological order. whoo! im a rebel.
so i felt: happy. contented. completely undeserving. horny. guilty. embarrassed. some more happy. cherished. sated.

thats abt it, i think.

ynoe. Donovan's really too good for me. he is. *sighh* how depressing.
you ask me a silly question, you ask me, "why is it depressing that Donovan is better than you? is it not good that he is, coz after all, we all seek better things in our lives, including relationships?"
and i reply yer silly question, i say, "it is depressing, you fool, coz somebody better than me's gonna come along and sweep him off his feet and thats it, bye bye Donovan. it doesnt take alot to be better than me, after all. and thats depressing coz well, its gonna be excruciatingly painful for me coz losing him would be a major bitch. thats putting it lightly. of course, its gonna be HELL tryna pummel this ego of mine and take it down, tho."

erghh. depressing. i shant think abt it any longer. coz 1) its depressing and harmful to my mental and physical health and stability, and 2)i unfortunately do not own a prescription for prozac.

to bounce back from a state of slight despondency, i just wanna say that im just extremely grateful and, cliched word but apt, blissful to be with Don.(of course, thats not ALL i wanna say, its just a really inadequate summary of how i feel) he's wonderful.

ooh!! i just caught a whiff of the white roses he gave me when the wind blew in!(they come with red heart-shaped chocs) thats not all he gave me, of course. *grinz* i know i know, im all lovey dovey.. but you gotta pardon me, i dont get like this very often, and i know im not overdoing it at all(considering the fact that t'was all alot more than wonderful).

i must've done smth good in my last life to be with Donovan now, man. unfortunately, i've been so bloody unproductive in this life that i think i wont even get the slimmest chance to reincarnate for the next 500 years. gee diggidy whiz. thats a long time.

Donovan and i caught Along Came Polly on sunday and well, t'wasnt too bad, i think it did better than "2 and a 1/2 ferrets out of 5". Stuck On You was so much more unfunnier. blergh. and after that i felt like having pizza so we went to nydc.

there were all these secondary school kiddies sitting next to our table. 15 of em, actually. 14 girls and 1 guy. the 1 guy just happened to be sitting right at the end of the table, next to me. i spose he just wasnt cool enough to be sitting with the girls.

he was a complete geek.
he was reading a comic boook when he came in, and t'wasnt even a cool comic book. no, seriously, ther're comic books and graphic novels out there in the world, but what he was reading shouldnt even be classified under any of those. i took many glances to see what he was reading, and the logo on the front wasnt even nicely designed. also, outta the many panels on his comic magazine(thats the best name i can give it), the drawings were lousy, dialogue minimal, and 30% of the panels didnt even have drawings, they were just filler panels, filled up with one solid colour to represent the sky or the grass or wadever.

you wanna read a comic, get a good one, ynoe?

and thats my point, he's not just a geek, he's a stupid geek. he was reading the damn thing not just coz the girls werent talking to him, but also coz he was genuinely interested in the comic. fancy being genuinely interested in a lousy comic!! i am indignant for the comic industry. geez. even at the table, he read and read, all the way til his soup came. he also had a huge bottle of 1.5litre apple tea rolling around on the booth next to him. Don and i were joking that he was probably a cheapo and bought the huge bottle of apple tea coz it was cheap and only cost 2 bucks. the soup he ordered cost twice that($3.95, actually), and i bet he felt the pinch.

hot damn im evil. *smirx* well. anyways. its not nice to read a shitty comic mag at the table when there're 14 girls sitting at the same table as you.

anyways. after pizza and a mudpie Donovan and i went back to his place coz he wanted to watch Moulin Rouge. i've never watched it before coz i thought t'was gonna be too mushy for my taste. i was right, too. i went to sleep before an hour had gone by, and Don slept too, before he sent me back and he went back to base to catch some shut-eye.

and thats it.

my back hurts coz i went tanning on saturday morning with Sidney tinks(thats my new nickname for her.. new + improved! shorter, and easier to type, too), Sara DJ, and Jenny. my back.. hurts.. ow ow.. sunburnt.. ow oww.. arms, too.. need ice pack.. pronto.. oww..

Donovan rawwwwkkks.

reading: Hellboy- The Right Hand Of Doom by Mike Mignola.

2004-02-14T03:15:00.000+08:00

valentine's day is a wonderful, wonderful day.. if only coz the webcomics are better than usual!!! whooo!

so i'll share the love.. spread it out like oil on water baby.. i love what vday means to all these webcomic artists. they're awesome, simply awesome dudes. check it out, y'all.

culled from scary go round.
what vday means to the artist(in my astute obervation): vday's abt seeking out friends in need and helping em out. that'd be the 2 girls helping the guy in the comic. typical. males.*psssh* and also adding in a lil bit of Jesus to spice things up.. which it did, didnt it?? ooh. Jesaus in an airplane, waving at clouds.. man, you'd think that he was on weeeeeeeed.

culled from something positive.
what vday means to the artist(in my astute observation): friends still help friends in need. guy helps girl when she's drunk and doesnt take advantage of her, girl helps guy when she's sober to fulfil the aching emotional emptiness in both their lives, and also provide him with some good asian lovin. now thats love. just kiddin. really la!

culled from wigu.
what vday means to the artist(in my astute observation): girls versus boys. of course, the girl wins. havent you heard? ohh, the female of the species is deadlier than the male, dahling. i know its a strain, but if you dont get the comic, you just gotta look at it carefully in order to understand it. the drawing style's cool, but can distract from the true content of the comic.

culled from diesel sweeties.
what vday means to the artist(in my astute observation): it is an irrelevant, fun-filled lil day. def not to be taken seriously. having sex multiple times is also advisable. practise safe sex y'all. we dont want a real bun in the oven, do we now? sex dwarves.. kinky!!

listening to: Change The World by Eric Clapton.

2004-02-14T02:27:00.000+08:00

im tired. but i gotta blog it all down before i forget anythin.

so i woke up, bathed, went to town for awhile, and then i went to school. today wasnt as hot as yesterday, but it doesnt mean that i still didnt sweat like a stuck pig today. i gotta meet Shameena begum and Rachel pinky and we caught up and everythin, i was pretty damn happy to see em today as well.

i got a couple of free style tops coz the school was giving em out. i took 4. the material's amazingly lousy. i'll wear em to sleep, hoho.

ooh!! James sk8ter boi, Dan da man, Zayed, this other dude, and Taufiq performed today. they did a coldplay song, an evanescence song, an ataris song, and.. one more song, i cant remember by who.

James and Dan were awesome. James was on drums; Dan, Zayed and the other dude on the guitars. they all looked too cool la. and they did a pretty good performance too, just that the mics squealed like hell on their first song when Taufiq sang, coz he was the main vocalist.(gee i wonder why duhh) i was cheering em on, t'was great. after the mini-gig, i went up to praise James and Dan, and James was a teeny bit upset coz he was a lil outta sync at first but soon got back into the groove(but he was still pretty damn awesome, nonetheless) and Dan was worried, the first thing he asked me was, "did we suck?"

of course not!! they rawwwkkk!!! they really do.

anyways. i just basically hung around in school with Rishi the whole day, and a couple of other people along the way. t'was cool. and Rishi forgot to bring my earrings to school, he'd bought me some when he went to india. its a good tradition. everytime he goes to bankok(or in this case, india), he always gets Nadiah and me earrings. woohooo!! traditions arent meant to be broken, babyyyy.

after that i rushed back home to change, and then i met Amanda at zouk. i was actually 20mins late late, and coz of me, the both of us missed Haikel's performance, as well as half of Too Phat's performace. which was really too bad, coz we wanted to see em. we managed to catch half of "just a little bit" by Too Phat, so that wasnt too bad. just a lil bit... juuuussssst a lil bit..

So sorry we missed their performance, Amanda dearie!!

i bumped into Ollie, Magz and Anz at zouk tonight. speaking of which, i bumped into Zhi in the train to school today. amazing. the former were right next to me at zouk before i spotted em first, and the latter standing right next to me on the train before i spotted her first.

after Too Phat's performance was Blue.. who suckked. surprise surprise!!!! tone-deaf sonofabitches. i booed em. and they had the hard-core fans of Blue go up on stage to sing, which was even worse, coz they were even more tone-deaf than Blue, if thats humanly possible.(turns out t'was) christ. Amanda made a good point.. mebbe the reason why the fans fancy Blue is coz they're tone-deaf!(both the fans and Blue) good point, dude. anyways. the fans got goodie bags for being tone-deaf and singing like crap. i was fantasising abt robbing em. a few looked quite weak. i dont mean the girls. hawhaw!

there was even this one dude who had this weak reedy lil voice.. cripes. i cheered for him, everyone too, coz he was our very own singapore's William Hung! yea.. i might've hollered it out liud while he was singing. heyy, im at the back of the crowd, we cant even see each other, he cant hear me. for god's sake, he cant even hear his OWN voice. i spose everyone agreed with me that he was the singaporean versh of William Hung, coz when Jean Danker(she and Utt were the emcees) asked the crowd to clap for the best singer, hardly anyone clapped for the rest but EVERYONE clapped and cheered like hell for mr. wannabe-william-hung. woohooo!!

that bit rocked.

i got a lil pissed off once tho. coz i mean, i was already kinda tired and i was wearing heels, and Amanda and i are standing at the steps watching the performances. and then this stupid bitch comes along down the stairs, and she steps down without looking to see where her eyes are going, and stomps on my mf'ing foot. i yelled, "shit! fuck!!" right in her ear, coz her ear was at my mouth, really. i didnt actually intend to shout at her, mostly coz my foot got trampled upon, and a lil bit coz she was such a blind bitch. she mumbled smth, if t'was an apology i couldnt hear it. she was with her boyfriend, and as they moved off into the crowd i gave her the bird. she also chose to turn around at the time i gave her the birdy, so i just *stealthily* put my hand down and continued watching the show.

then Javier came on, and then Stacie Orrico, and by 10pm everything was over. so Amanda and i left zouk to meet Sara DJ, Sidney tinkerbell and Haugeng er-ge in town. i was pretty damn bushed by then, had some concentration problems by then. kept missing out lil bits of conversation, and didnt hear when people talked or asked me questions. that was quite bad. i mean, i didnt know that i could get this bad. i really need my Ritalin, no shite balls.

anyways. i saw Pam and Mervyn in town, along with Benson and Matthew Wan(the bugger's in acjc now). Matthew's like, sposed to be my bro coz we've both got the same surname. kinky. bumped into Jenny, and Rachel SMU as well.

and after that we all went home. Sidney and i took the train home together, and the train was pretty empty coz t'was one of the last trains running before midnight struck and all the mrt-drivers would turn into pumpkins. that is the curse of driving a mrt. if yer driving an mrt, and it strikes midnight(dial 700 for the accurate time), you'll turn into a pumpkin, too. no exceptions. so if any mrt still ran after midnight, it'd have a pumpkin for a driver, and that wouldnt be very safe, would it? that is why no mrt runs after midnight.

so anyways. as i was sayin. Sidney and i were sitting together on the train, and directly opposite her was this chinese dude in working attire(pants and shirt and cheap ugly brown briefcase) in specs, reading the new paper. i hadnt noticed til Sidney whispered to me(see, this is why i need my ritalin, i cant see shite) that the guy kept staring at her.

i looked, and Sidney was right. the dude kept staring at her for a few seconds, the return to either his paper or to look above our heads, where they have the mrt line map.

i was quite dulan coz i was actually pretty tired and everything, and there this guy is, just disrespectfully ogling Sidney like she's a piece of meat. jerk. so i just stared at him, and the fella's got such thick skin, he cant even feel me staring at him. he'd notice occasionally tho, and he'd turn back to hs papers. otherwise, he'd just shamelssly stare at Sidney. prick. so i started talking abt Dasson, and how he gets into fights, and how he'll beat up anyone i want him to, especially people who stare at people. and Sidney agreed, and talked abt HER people who'd help her if tehre ever was a fight, and related a story to me.

by then, t'was our stop, so we got off. and when i turned around, i saw that the bugger was STILL tryna look at Sidney as we walked out and down the escalators. el desperado. Sidney said that he's never seen girls before, thats why. hoho.

anyways. thats abt it. its officially vday today already. and i broke my nail, godammit. i break my feckin nail on vday. whoop dee doo. i dont know what time im meeting Donovan, and the rest're probably going to s.o.s at night. owell.

omg. im so tired, but i gotta reply Shujin and Steph's email(isit a coincidence that both their names start with an 's'?), and then i gotta paint my nails coz of my broken one, i dont want it to break off even more. gotta glue the fucker back into place the best i can ynoe. hell. annoying annoying annoying. i hate it when my nail breaks.

im meeting Sara DJ and Sidney tinkerbell to go to sentosa to tan in the morning some more.. just got off the phone with Amanda, she's sposed to go but she's not anymore, due to some rather unforseen circumstances. and i gotta be up at 9am. aiee. i am so lacking sleep.

tired. tired. tired. i need my Ritalin. gotta start takin it regularly. my lack of concentration is truly taking a toll for the worse. whooooo. i dont wanna end up as this totally spaced-out strung-out meat popsicle, ynoe. that'd be cool, but still. the tired-ness isnt exactly helping, either.

g'night, all. and great valentine's day, once again, you funky people you!!

2004-02-12T23:57:00.000+08:00

i was sposed to go tanning at sentosa with Edna today, but i didnt, coz of an emergency call and i had to go to school to settle some shite. which is a fuckin pity, coz today's weather was scorching hot, and it would've been perfect for tanning. el perfecto, comprende? godammit!!

so i am SO SO SO sorry Edna dearest(i'll call you anythin you want as long as you forgive me), i really really am.. i didnt mean to bail out at the last minute, but i really had to go to school and all. will explain to you when we meet up alright?? and no worries, i wont bail on you again.

anyways. i went back to school and t'was openhouse today, ladida, kiddies everywhere. blergh. but i gotta say, t'was good meerting the people that mattered.. like Nadiah sweetheart, Rishi beardy, Dior darling, Dan da man, James sk8ter boi, Sylvia, Fifi, Naddy baby and Alicia. we talked, they made me smile, it all almost felt normal again. i love you guys, ynoe i do, really. you guys made my day.

i talked to a few of the lecturers, umm, yeahh. that was that.

Rishi beardy bought treated me to a milo, and the makcik at the muslim stall missed me so she treated me to rendang!!(plus Rishi told her to treat me) Rishi rocks, but makcik rocks more la!!! ohh.. i love rendang.. mm mm mm mmmm.. okay okayy you both equally rock, aight.

today was blisteringly hot, you could walk into an air-conditioned room and the sweat would still be pouring off me. i was like the singaporean versh of the niagara falls, man.

yeahh so i chilled in school with ma peepz til abt 6pm, and t'was all cool, we were in the library and all. the library's just been renovated, and i havent seen all of it, but is basically fuct mf'ing AWESOME!! Amanda, you think np library rules, you gotta see tp's library, aight. coz im pretty sure it'll beat np poly hands-down. okayy.. i'll be nice.. not hands-down la. it'll just beat np poly's library.. hawhaw!!

im so funny.

anyhow. there were quite a few events going on at tp. like the lotr booth. and this tent that had a string of performances. when i came across it(you cant miss it, the wankers are speaking on mics as loud as a jetplane's engines) with Rishi, the light years cast, along with an emcee, was on stage.

nobody cheered for the light years cast, of course. d'oh. so i did. i cheered real loud when a few other people were just clapping politely. thought i'd put my voice into practice since i hadnt been using it in awhile, ynoe ynoe. and when the emcee said that we werent cheering or clapping enough, and still no one cheered or clapped *d'oh* i yelled, "WHOOOO!!! LIGHT YEARS!!!!! YOU RAWWWKKK!!!! WOOHOOOO LIGHT YEAR!!!! YAYYYYY!!!! LIGHT YEARS!!!!!" and the light years cast and emcee stared at me a lil strangely. i guess they didnt expect emselves to have fans, eh?? hoho. once i stopped cheering, Rishi asked me, "you like light years??? and i replied, "no, i dont give a shite." and then i walked off with rishi behind me, and we went to the canteen to get a drink coz t'was too damn bloody hot hot hot.

so. i went to town with Dan da man, James sk8ter boi, Greg, Cj and Yonghui at abt 6+pm. we took 518 from school and i talked to Mas, who was on the bus too. and then i talked to Dan. and it turns out that its the same everywhere i go, be it in school or town or wherever: William Hung is the coolest, most hip-hop-and-happening dude to be talkin abt now. everyone's got smth to say, and everyone says it. i could be sleeping, and i bet that i'd dream abt people still going on and on abt William Hung.

the dude who left an sms on AMI3 was pretty accurate i think, when he said, "everyone shut up abt william hung already." quite apt really, coz ol will's ol news, baby. i mean, he was SO last, last tuesday. literally.

so we reached town, and i hung out at far east with James, Dan and Greg. i fancied the belt that James had on, t'was white and lined with double rows of metallic stars and holes, and he'd bought it from far east.. and good news, we were at far east! so we went to the belt shop and i went and got the black versh of his belt. i like the belt alot, its pretty cool. i put it on once i bought it, and the guys(James especially) were like, "wahh!! maddie rockstar la!! maddie ROCKSTAR!!!!"

which was pretty cool, i love those guys.. coz they called me a rockstar. dont you like the way that looks? "maddie rockstar". ha! ha! dont

i am still so funny.

then we went over to cine coz the guys were gonna meet Yonghui, and i was due to meet El Paulo, Jeremy, Sidney, Haugeng er-ge, Benedict, Jenny, Ivan smooshy marshmallow and Marcus.

i was hanging out with em, and then alternatively, also with Dan and James. i felt a lil bad leaving James and Dan alone after Greg had left town. so yea, i was sitting with the other big bunch(meaning El Paulo&co) when who should join us but.. Donovan!!

i mean, i was already anticipating his arrival coza the stuff he was saying in his smses, even tho he didnt say it outright that he'd be joining us. t'was a real pleasant surprise that he really did join us, tho. i thought that he wouldnt, what with his work and all. i mean, i completely didnt expect it!(even tho i did, coz im psychic, ynoe) i was like, pretty damn happy. to expect his arrival is one thing, to actually see him in the tanned flesh is another.

and then we both left the group and walked around cine, even tho there was nothing to see, and we were just talking and talking, i cant even remember what we were going on abt, just our usual garbled nonsense, ynoe. and i was happeeeee. happy mainly also coz 1)we werent sposed to be meeting up and he showed up, what a surprise!! *grinz* 2)i was seeing him on a weekday. if you folks havent noticed, i usually only see him on weekends. and only ONE day outta the weekend, coz if he aint with his bros then im clubbing, or some other thang like that. 3)finally, he's just so pleasant-looking, dont you think? he makes me *smile*

mushiness attack!! haiieeeyahhh!!!! *karate chop*

yeah so anyways, Donovan and i went to this place called R@men at cine(3rd floor, me thinks) that has like, a vast array of food choicecs, so vast that they cover 3 whole pages in a A5 size menu.(hint: A5's half the size of A4) i mean, wow, incredible. Donovan had, no shite, ramen. and i didnt have much of an appetite so i just had ebi tempura. and a lil of his soup. and a piece of gyoza smth, basically a lil dumpling thing. we talked abt his education, and then we talked abt my education, and everything was just depressing to me so i got kinda moochy. coz school's not really a topic that actually gets me all happy and cheery, ynoe. unlike alcohol.

Donovan had to leave after dinner coz he was going back to some airbase crap place, and we'd only spent an hour together, but for me t'was really better than nothing at all. i mean, i was grateful that we were spending time together on a weekday at all, ynoe? so today turned out to be quite alright, coz i not only gotta meet Donovan, i'd bought my holey star-studded belt, met friends in school, and even hung out with a few of em in town.

then i met el Paulo&co at annex at heeren, and i wanted to get the fedora hat at fourskin(coz El Paulo's got one and i've always wanted one for myself), but unfortunately my head's just the size of a bloody pumpkin and it showed in those fedora hats, so i fucked it. i was deciding between this 1)cowboy hat, that would go with my boots and my new belt perfectly. yeeeha!! now all i need is a lasso, wee laddies! 2)and this other hat, thats a lil like the pink one Paula Abdul wore on AMI3. her hat was gorgeous, by the way. i'd kill for that hat. yeahh. yeahh!! mebbe i should kill her. somebody gimme an air ticket to usa, pronto. pronto, y'hear me?!

they had heart-shaped balloons at fourskin, and they were free, and the nice uncle gave me a red one. all coz vday's around the corner. i wouldnt mind free balloons everyday. i love helium balloons! i like the way they defy gravity.. the rebels!!! the balloon's drifting abt in my room now, goin where the air-con wind blows it. drift, balloon, drift.. .. ..

anyways. i spent ages and ages deciding(coz im sucha fickle fucker, yea. doesnt 'fickle fucker' remind you of Peter Piper??), and everyone was for the cowboy hat, cept for Sidney and Jeremy, who strangely decided for the other hat without discussion. hmm. unfortunately, i was too broke, so i couldnt get em. i wanted to get both, actually. yea yea, call me greedy, wadever. i care. hats. nice.. *slobber*.. *drool*..

"peter piper picked a peck of fickled fucker,
a peck of fickled fucker peter piper picked.
if peter piper picked a peck of fickled fucker,
where's the peck of fickled fucker peter piper picked??"

ohh, the intoxicating mysteries of life.
everybody wants to know where the fickle fucker is.

i gotta say that its great shopping and looking for hats and shoes with El paulo, plus he passes pretty good judgement on the merchandise. thanks, dude. i basically went nuts when i saw all the hats and caps at fourskin man, i would've had a bloody epileptic attack, i was so damn excited. all those hats! so many of em!! in so many designs and sizes!!! *hyperventilate it, baby!!*

aight. after that, we all went home. yeahh. thats it. end of story.

tmr tho, will be a new day. *blergh* and i'll be going back to school to have a nice chat with the lecturers. hell yeahh. and then i'll be chillin with my mates til 3.30pm, coz thats when Dan da man, James sk8ter boi and Taufiq perform. Dan on guitar, James on drums and Taufiq on vocals. im not sure if anyone else is performing with em, mebbe Zahed or Yonghui.. im not sure. but wadever it is, i'll be there, if only to support James and Dan.. whooooo!! you guys rawwwwkkkkk!!!

after that, im rushing home to change, and then its off to the Stace Orrico thingamajiggy gig at zouk with Amanda. its gonna be a real tiring day tmr, you can betcha top dollar on that, ladieez and gents. hope i dont get a heart attack.

can you believe it, im still checking back with friendster from time to time. ohh, the shame. the humiliation. i cannot stand it. *sighh* im a dork. sad case sia.

listening to: 100 years/ Something About You by 5 For Fighting
reading: Q Is For Quarry by Sue Grafton.
yes, its my last and final book, Donovan dahling. *ahemm*

2004-02-11T04:53:00.000+08:00

ooh!! i forgot to say that my mom got the visa mini credit card. omg.. it comes with a ton of priviledges. seriously, if i was earning and i had a steady income, i'd get it. unfortunately, im not, im a bum. but the visa mini's an awesome lil thingy!! im not kiddin. and my mom gets so much cool stuff and freebies.. rest assured that i'll have no qualms whatsoever using em up.

plus plus PLUS you get a serious load of priority at clubs with the visa mini man. i was yelling and screaming and whooping for joy as i checked out the priviledges that you get at cards. i mean, 20% off at winebar? priority in the queues at zouk and phuture on sat? among shitloads of other stuff at other clubs, i just cant rememeber what.

the card even comes with these gadgets in a neat lil box, and they're gadgets you can link yer visa mini up to. ynoe. like the way you see the woman in the visa mini advert wore hers on a lanyard around her neck on the telly? yeahh.. the visa mini's got a small hole punched into the corner and it comes with that lanyard, and a lil rock-climbing metal thang, and also one of those hp straps. neat-o blanc-o!

wadever that means.

i just hope that i can use the card when my mom's not there. as in, to use the card without her having to be around, ynoe. not stealing her card or anythin, godd no. but yea, it'd be pretty weird to be at winebar, having jugs of vodka cranberry and vodka lime and the such, with all my friends. and we're drinking and we're like, "ta! ta!! bo ta bo lam pa!!!" and my mom's just sedately sitting there at the table, watching us drink and get high and talking nonsense, ynoe.

actually my mom's alot like me when she drinks, cept that she's possibly a worse drinker than i am. and thats kinda bad, coz im a pretty lousy drinker meself. my mom'll drink a lil and her face'll turn the shade of a pretty hibiscus in bloom. like me la, when i drink. but its kinda worse for her coz she's fair and everything, muahaha.

i gotta go drinking with my mom, man. get a lil subliminal msging thang going ynoe, hoho.

my mom's quite adorable, even tho she gets on my nerves sometimes. i was SO completely excited when she told me that she'd gotten the card, and she kept smiling smugly to myself coz she knew t'was cool too.

jingle bells, jingle bells, vday's on the wayyy..

just felt like saying that.

but yeahh ynoe, vday really is quite an over-commercialised day. i mean, okayy, it may be a teensy weensy bit special, but its not THAT special. no need for 245 roses that mean "i love you and we'll stay together all our lives, even our reincarnated ones". im kidding, you guys.(does 245 roses mean even anything??)

but im just talkin abt it coz i dont know whether he believes it or not, but i think that Donovan(and Amanda, and El Paulo) doesnt really believe me when i tell him that im not really expecting anythin big or fancy or wow-woww fro him on vday. its coz its enough to just be spending time with him coz we really dont spend enough time together due to his work and all. im not joking!! why dont they believe me?? boo hoo hoo.

of course, this is not to say that im not expecting anything at all, dont get me wrong, a lil smth would def be nice, but im not exactly expecting Donovan to buy me the entire tiffany store, dinner at the ritz, 99 red velvety roses and a 6-doored chauffeured limo to pick me up.

no, really, im not. its all expensive, cliched, o.t.t, and unoriginal.

vday's a cool day, but its overrated, and people tend to have such unrealistic notions of how it should really be. silly, silly, silly people.

i've got quite a few things to say abt vday but im just gonna go rambling on and on so i shant bother. i'd know, i just tried blogging abt it, but rather unfortunately i was just going on and on and being all long-winded(the way Sundeep can get sometimes when he's talking abt certain things) so.. forget it. Janice complains that i blog wayy too much anyways.. right, girl?? *chuckle*

but anyways. an early vday message out there too all you wonderful sould reading my blog at the mo. remember what i have said, it is good, sound, solid advice, whoah. *ahem ahemm* here i go:

"to you singles out there, if you havent got a date and yer not okay with it, its really not so bad. there're other things in yer life to be grateful for, like the sun + the moon + yer friends + family. imagine life without em. and if you dont like seeing couples on the roads, just stay home. no biggie. you've probably stayed home on other saturdays as well, right? today'll be no different. this has been yer last warning. you dont wanna keel over and die as you choke on yer vomit as you gag when you see girls in town walkin around with their boyfriends, carrying stuffed toys and flowers and balloons. also, stay home if yer allergic to flowers(roses in particular), there're gonna be alotta those around on vday.

to you singles out there who dont have a date but are completely cool with it, you guys rawwkk!! i salute you. you guys are secure with who you are, ynoe that you dont need somebody to make you feel 'complete', you guys're awesome. but then, you probably already know that. go out with yer friendas on vday, have fun, chill out, mock couples on the street, laugh at ugly couples, dont watch Torque.. you get my point. you guys'll be out on vday, i'll bump into you guys in town then.

to couples who're attached and happy/content/good-stuff, congratulations, dudes! vday's yer day.(or so retailers want you to think) for one day, you guys can walk around town slobbering over each other with not a soul batting an eyelid. have fun go mad, rip each other's clothes off in public, copulate wildly on the streets, 'have fun go mad' i said. have a good one, and hope that you guys'll see many other vdays thru together.

for you guys who're attached and distinctly not happy/content/good-stuff, and have been trying to keep up the act of being happy/content/good-stuff, hopefully vday'll bring you to yer senses to sort things out. good luck, and all the best."

thankfully, i dont know anyone in the last category, and if anyone in that category reads my blog, i truly only wish for em to make the right choice and decisions, even if it isnt necessarily the most pleasant route to take.

i could say alot more, but i wont la. i think i've said enough already, as it is. have a peachy vday wayy in advance y'all, i love you guys, ynoe i do.

and a lil webcomic to liven up the gloomy atmosphere:

reading: Sole Survivor by Dean Koontz.
listening to: Electrical Storm by U2.

2004-02-11T01:41:00.000+08:00

i was out just now with Amanda, Sidney, El Paulo, Sidney tinkybell, Bizhen, Jeremy and Mark 6. and i was correct.. Torque sucked ASS!! apparantly t'was only 1 hour and 5 bloody mins long.. god, even disney cartoons are longer than that man! Torque is sucha complete rip-off. and according to El Paulo, Torque's doing so badly that they're offering a 1-for-1 deal with Torque, and only Torque tickets. buy one, and get another free. Torque.. sucks.. ASS!!!!! hooha!! set, im never gonna watch it, not even if im with Donovan, coz i dont want him paying for me to watch a piss-lousy movie.

oh yes, Sidney darling, thanks so much for reading my blog!! *grinz*

anyways. i was wearing my boots today and they're hell. or close to it. i wanted to test drive em today to see if i should wear em on sat or not, ynoe. once i was home and i took em off, my feet didnt actually hurt as much as when i wear some of my other heels. but while im wearing em boots, they really kinda slaughter my feet coz the sole's a lil thin so the balls of my feet dont get enough cushioning. also, the heels are abt 3 inches high, or 7cm high, and i dont exaclt have big feet so its a lil strenuous walking around. good thing they're boots tho, i might topple over if i didnt have the support. wadever, my feet just get kinda achy if i toddle around for too long.

its cool, tho. Amanda thinks they look stylish, Mark 6 thinks they're cool and they look good, and Bizhen thinks that they're quite dominatrix-ish. not that i've got a problem with that, dont get me wrong. in fact, when Sidney had touched the heel of my boot when i was sitting down earlier on, i'd told her that all i was missing was a whip. mixed reviews, but so far so good. unfortunately, the bloody boots just kill my feet la, ynoe. but worth it.. i think. mebbe i'll convince myself that it is soon.

anyways! i'd met up earlier on in the evening with Amanda and El Paulo first. we kinda just wandered around til Amanda dearest decided that she wanted to have some chocolate milkshake thang at Fish&co. i forgot what its called.. chockie junkie.. chockie monkey.. chockie.. wadever..

the 3 of us walked from taka to centrepoint's Fish&co, but the shop there didnt have the chockie drink, so we walked ALL the way to the glass house near park mall. omg. my poor fuckin feet.

i really wasnt intending to eat, i was on a real tight budget, but in the end i did, anyways. i think all of us didnt intend to eat but we ended up eating anyways.. the food was too irresistable, it all smelt so good, and i was craving fish & chips. Amanda and i had fish & chips, and El Paulo had this sambal fish with rice, and he ordered coleslaw too. El Paulo eats very lil. i ate his fish after he was done. then Mark 6 came, and he polished off what we all couldnt finish: Amanda's fries, my fries, and El Paulo's veggies and fish. yumm!

fish is good. ive been eating fish everyday for the past few days.. fish soup, fish soup, and fish & chips today. actually, i was only eating fish soup coz of my throat and all, but thats another story.

medical report for the day: my throat's still kinda fucky, tho at least i can talk. i just sound like some pubescent male. bah.

so yeahh. after fish & chips we went down to.. where else.. pot black to meet the rest. and then we all went home, yeap. man. was so damn sleepy on the bus. *snorx*

oh yeahh. Amanda's got the tix for some mtv thang at zouk tmr night, but im too lazy to go. if i went, the only reason i'd go was coz of the goodie bag(goodie bags!! wheeee!), but im too lazy for even that. also, i was already going for the Stacie Orrico thang at zouk on friday with her already, so i figured, wadahell.. just go on friday and forget abt tmr. dont think i could deal with crappy crowds 2 days this week, either.

im listening to the radio now.. some girl called Chanel just called in. sure. Chanel. but then again i've got a friend called Dior so.. ooh!! i should start collecting friends who've got brand names as their names! and hang out with em. it'd be cool.

"so, who were you hanging out with yesterday, maddie?"
"oh ynoe, just the usual bunch. Dior, Ferragamo, Chanel, Vuitton, Dolce and Gabbana. Dolce and Gabbana are twins. yeap."

man. what a blast, huh. like, completely outta this world, yo.

aiyo.. im still hungry la.. my period's def coming man. i hope i dont get all pmsy on Donovan this saturday. man, i sound like im so afraid im gonna turn into the incredible hulk or smth.. which, when you think abt it, is actually a pretty good way of thinking abt a girl when she's pmsing. of course, dont tell her that, coz she'd rip yer throat out. rowwwrrr!!!!!

in tribute to women empowerment, bad girly pmsy days, and men who know their place among WOMENKIND:

have a nice night, y'all.

2004-02-10T03:49:00.000+08:00

this year's grammys werent too bad. it didnt get all boring and stuffy the way some awards shows can get, with puffy men in their mid-forties stuffing emselves into tuxedos and wrinkly-but-not-so-wrinkly-coza-botox ladies in safe-but-boring coloured evening gowns.

these're the people that i thought were pretty awesome tonight, regardless of whether they were a nominee, performer or winner:
Sting [he's a classic, he gave a great performance tonight.]
Ellen Degeneres [she's funny, and like i said, i love funny people.]
Justin Timberlake [i admit it!! im a groupie at heart!! ee!! im a roadie!! plus he's a great performer la, you gotta give him that.]
Outkast [thankew ms. jackson.]
Snoop Dogg [he's cool, yo. and so tall. Amanda, you'd like him, i think.]
Queen Latifah [larger than life, funny, and sooo comfortable in her own skin.]
Alicia Keys [very, very smooth voice, and can control her voice real well, like Beyonce.]
Beyonce [she's also a fantastic performer, like j.t. this girl works HARD for what she wants.. she's spectacular. im in awe of her not coz of her music and her voice, which is great, but coz of her determination and perseverrance, and how she goesa thru it all without doin the whole diva prima donna crap, she's always always smiling. great girl.]

so. 62.5%of the people i was impressed with were afro-americans. the other 37.5% were caucasians and while they were pertty cool, they dont have that real party-up-lets-get-jivin! vibe like the afro-americans do, yo.

anyways. like i promised in my earlier entry.. how To Rob Or Cheat Taxi Drivers

when i say rob, thats probably an exaggeration. but essentially, it is a robbery of sorts, coz you take from em smth that they have otherwise, if it werent for you. i was only thinking abt it that night when i had a fever, and i was thinking abt the weirdest things before i fell asleep, and this was one of em. i only remembered it coz of what a taxi-driver and i wer talking abt in the cab abt a month back.

strange, isnt it, the way the mind works when its under pressure?

anyway. here goes. this is the females and females only guide: How To Rob Or Cheat Taxi Drivers. dont quote me, you bastards.

1)hail a cab thats got a male driver.
2)act drunk when you get in the cab. better yet if you've got an accomplice to help you into the cab and tell the clueless taxi-driver yer destination.
3)close the door, and yer on yer way. continue acting like a drunk. mumble incoherently to yerself on the journey home. shout out, once in a while, if you want, to freak out the cab driver. who said that girls cant have fun?
4)if the cab driver talks to you, simply ignore him. of course, if what he's asking concerns yer destination, tell him once, slurring yer words a lil. just a lil, y'hear. if he asks again, he's just being an ass, so ignore him. he heard you the first time.
5)when you've reached yer destination, pretend that you dont know its yer place and continue to sit in the cab. just continue sitting there til the cab driver tells you its yer place. let him repeat it a few more times before you sit up.
6)open the door, and drunkenly walk out. sway a lil. the cab driver might stop you, he might not. if he doesnt stop you, great, just continue on yer way home.
7)if the cab driver does stop you, it might get a lil tricky. tell him you havent got any money. that most probably will get him off yer back, coz yer a girl, and he's a guy, and he cant touch you or anything. if he suggests alternatives, i.e. go up for money but leave yer bag behind, call yer parents for money, etc.. just keep saying either "i dont know" or "i dont have money" in yer drunken tone. keep repeating yerself. hope that eventually he gets so fed up he'll just say, "wadever, fuck you la!" and drive off.
8)if all else fails, like if yer a lousy actress, or if the cab driver's just too insistent and pushy and all and you cant take the heat anymore, just snap outta it. stop acting drunk, and give him the cash. if you really dont have the cash, go upstairs and get it. and if you really really have no way of obtaining the money, just stick to step number (7) til he cracks. either you crack, or he does, and you cant afford to do so now, baby.

aye.. there're more ways to cheat taxi drivers but.. ynoe wot.. my conscience is getting on my back so i shall stop. cab drivers are people, after all. omg. my conscience is really on overdrive here. whoah, whoah, conscience!! if im not evil nobody would recognise maddie no more, man.

anyways. ynoe, some people are kleptomaniacs(dont anybody say anythin aight), some people cant stop washing their hands, some people cant stop twisting their ring.. these people all have got some sorta OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder) that i find fascinating.

i've always found it a lil boring how they always say that a person who cant stop wahsing their hands is coz they're tryna rid themself of some sin they committed, but are unable to rid themselves of their guilt and so resort to washing their hands repeatedly as a sort of physical manifestation of what their minds are incapable of doing.

i like that word, by the way. "physical manifestation".. very catchy, goes with everything.

but frankly, OCDs really are a fascinating subject. i 'll try to search the libraries for material.

anyways. i think i used to have a lil OCD myself. no, i was never diagnosed. i kinda taught myself to stop doing it coz i couldnt believe doing it for the rest of my life. t'was a small thing, really, t'was smth i really had to stop doing.

i couldnt stop checking on my stuff when i packed my schoolbags.

this was a long time ago, quite a few years back. i did it when i was 12, 13? i kept at it for a year.. mebbe two.. im not sure. but it continued def no longer than two years.

i'd pack my bag, and make sure that everything was in order. and everything WOULD be in order. but i'd keep checking my bad, i was so damn overly paranoid i'd missed out on smth. i'd check my bag every five mins. and everything would still be there, no one was there to take anything outta my bag at home. this paranoia was interrupting me when i was reading, or watching the telly, or playing my gameboy(and i hate pausing midway during games, yer just killin the gameboy battery and yer not even doin anythin). and then i'd tell myself i didnt have a problem, and i wouldnt check my whole bag, but i'd feel to see if my housekeys were in my bag. and i'd keep feeling for em, over and over and over again. t'was bloody crazy.

eventually i told myself that i had to stop, i realised that i was like one of those people who couldnt stop washing their hands. i weaned myself outta not doing it. i took a step at a time, and i gotta admit, t'was tough to stop. not smoking now is so much bloody easier than to stop checking on my bag, at the time, i think.

my first step was to cut down on checking my bag. my second step was to check my bag only once, that was all i allowed myself to do. i told myself that there was nothing to worry abt, i'd checked my bag. i also told myself that if i went to school the next day and i hadnt forgotten anything and everything went smoothly, t'was further proof that i didnt need to go crazy over my bag-checking. i gave myself good, solid reasons to stop, telling and convincing myself that my fears was completely unfounded. eventually i just stopped checking on my bag. i'd pack my bag, i'd check it, make sure that everythin was in order, and then i'd go to sleep.

there're a few traces of that weird bag-checking streak in me now still, and it showed up alot when i'd lost my A800. after i'd lost that phone i was using weihong's mobile, and i was so worried i'd lose it, i checked my bag every two mins, i was so scared. i knew how it felt to lose a good phone, i didnt wanna have that feeling again, even tho this phone wasnt mine and it wasnt as good as my previous phone.(not that im any less grateful or appreciative, dont get me wrong) Weihong's phone was so small too, that it rocked around in my bag and i'd think that i'd misplaced it, and my heart would skip not one, but a few beats. and then i'd find it, and i'd be so relieved, t'was like i'd just taken the most satisfying shit of my life.

now, i cant be bothered anymore, coz the phone im using now is mine, and it isnt exactly top-notch grade A stuff. its only functional, and i spose im alright with it, coz it serves its function. still, im waiting for my birthday to roll around, mebbe i'll get my mom to buy me a new phone. i'll see how it goes. phones these days dont come cheap, the prices are frankly just fuckin insane. christ. you could just piss in yer pants looking at the price of those phones, man.

owell. anyways. im gonna go read my book now. my throat's still a bitch. if it doesnt get better in 2 days im seeing a doctor, i reckon that i'll be needing antibiotics by then.

2004-02-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

i apologise if i havent tagged any of you guys in a while, or if i havent tagged you my reply, or anything to do with tagboards. im sorry, i really am.

i've no idea what's wrong but i cant access people's tagboards, and even when i do i cant tag em, there's always some problem. "gateway error", "gateway timeout", or wadever fuckshit bullcrap it is they choose to say at the mo of time. i suspect that it may be my fucky browser. i still cant tag people, not even after trying bloody millions of times. or, like, thrice.. which is preeeety close to bloody millions of times, right? alotta the time i cant even see my own tagboard.. gee diggidy whiz.

anyways. i just remembered that when i went out with Donovan yesterday he queued up for a long time and bought me starfruit juice. he says its good for sore throats. i dont know if the starfruit juice worked, but i felt a lil better after that. i doubt t'was the power of the starfruit juice, either, haha. it is the.. Power Of Donovan!! *dum dum dummm*

woww. the "Power Of Donovan" line's got a real pervading air of sexual innuendo abt it, doesnt it?

oh yeahh. Marcus msged me today telling me that he likes my blog too! i cant quote him coz im well on the way to having senile dementia, ynoe, but he said that its one of the best blogs he's read thus far. of course, he could just be humouring me, but im quite alright with that, actually.. but still, thanks muchly, Marcus!!

anyways. he and a few others went to watch Torque today. i didnt go, and neither did Amanda, and neither did Sara Dj, so the 3 of us are gonna catch it next week. woohoo. i didnt go coz im short on cash, and Marcus offered to pay for my ticket, but it wouldnt be nice if i let him do that, so i didnt go.

actually, im not so keen on watching Torque, its such a testosterone-filled show, and its so blantantly targeted to attract the males, that at some level of my mind i think that i actually wouldnt be able to stand watching it. im hoping that i'll end up putting it off and watching everything else except Torque and by the time im thinking of watching it, Torque hopefully wont be showing in the movies anymore.

yeah yeahh.. Torque.. "from the same producers/directors who brought you Fast And The Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, and XXX.".. mindless drivel, really. i might take back my words if i watch the movie and its really good(and what're the chances of THAT happening, eh, Clarise?) tho.

and damn. i've been feeling absolutely FAMISHED the whole of today. it doesnt matter what i put in my stomach, i still feel hungry. i bet my bloody period's coming. ooh, expect the mood swings, baby, they're real pleasant.

okay okayy. i gotta go. the 46th grammy awards are on, and Beyonce and Prince just gave a spectacular opening act!!! ooh.. sizzlin hot, baby!! Ellen Degeneres just came up, godd she's hilarious. i love funny people. which explains why i love ME. omg. thats was so amazingly egotistical, i dont know what to say. but its also true. ohh, i chuckle merrily away. *chuckle chuckle chuckle*

oh lordy lordy lord. Christina Aguilera looks like crap. what the HELL is that on her head? she's got too much blue eyedshadow on, so much bronzer on her face that she looks like a brown cookie, and a repulsive wig that looks like its been the home of bees and insects for the past 20 years. granted, the girl can sing, but she looks like shite. and john Mayer looks like he was on weed when he went up with matthew Perry to introduce and annouce the winner for best pop duo/group performance. Outkast was real cool tho, when he won, he just collected his award, said "thank you", and got off the stage. whoooooo!!

so many ghastly mistakes in the nominations for this year's grammys, its quite appalling. for example, the song "stacey's mom" by Fountains Of Wayne. what were they the people who pick the nominees thinking?? tho the song Mexican Wine by them is really quite easy on the ear..

and i've got a special coming up in my next entry, titled How To Rob Or Cheat Taxi Drivers. you fellas stay tuned.

reading: Humpty Dumpty: An Oval by Damon Knight.

2004-02-09T05:20:00.000+08:00

i spent the day with Donovan today.

he picked me up, and i gave him a (baby)blue macdonalds monkey(instead of a pink one!). i'd bought it for him the day i got the (baby)pink macdonald monkey for myself. i thought that it'd be kinda funny to say to him, "here, i got you a blue monkey." doesnt it sound odd?

unfortunately, i didnt say that, and my dream was never realised, mainly coz with my sore throat i can only grunt out the words. and it doesnt sound so cute to be grunting out, "here, i got you a blue monkey." i'd just sound like an evil baboon.

*ook! ook!!*

then we headed to town(as usual..) and went to the orchard library. i can seriously say that the sengkang community library's got a better and wider range of books, but that might just be me. they really really should expand the orchard library. anyways. i borrowed 4 books, Donovan borrwed 2. pssh. he doesnt believe that i've got time to read em all. im like, wadahell, im totally free to read em, dude.

lets see.. tralala.. we dumped the books in the car coz they were heavy. Don was carrying em, and being the macho guy that he is, he wouldnt admit that they were heavy.. so i suggested that we put the books in the car and he agreed, with no hesitation at all. muahaha.

and afterwards we went to plaza singapura and we caught Lost In Translation.. which was alright. it really wasnt all that spectacular. i did notice some similarities between this movie and Virgin Suicides, coz after all they're both directed by Sofia Coppola. i'd say that she still has some distance to go before her movies do turn arty-farty. right now they're a lil wannabe-arty-farty, yet still wanting to appeal to the general audience out there.

but Coppola's alright, and so was the movie. the reviews it garnered from the papers were a lil too harsh, i think, tho i could def see why a japanese might get offended watching the movie. the movie showed so much more of the bad bits of japan than the good ones, and even then, the surface was just barely scraped. while Coppola tries to show the beauty of the scenery at some points, it just seems as tho she's just wasting film, focussing too long on a certain landmark. and yea, if i was a complete foreigner to the japanese culture, and after watching the movie, i would've thought that the japanese were an affected, artificial, crude bunch of people. wadabt the wonderful culture? and history? and the marvels of their food culture? all that wasnt brought across well, or not at all.

well. wadever. yakkity yakkity yak. my throat was sore just now(and still is), i couldnt talk much, and thats why im going on and on in my blog. damn.

anyhow. after the movie i was wondering if Don and i should join Amanda and Bizhen and the usual bunch, but i decided not to coz they were all going home soon(t'was 11.30pm by the time the movie was over) and besides, they were at rochor road eating tau huey.. .. .. ..

so Donovan and i just went to east coast and chilled, ynoe ynoe, and then i came home at abt 3am. he's gonna be poooped out, i think, coz he's got work at like, 7am.

im gonna get started on my books soon. but im gonna rummage around in the kitchen for food first before i do.. i only had corn soup and then chicken mararoni for dinner just now. i SO wanted to eat spicy chicken and rice and all that but.. i couldnt.. i must make sacrifices.. for my throat.. this is a bloody sad case man. even Donovan was a tad surprised that i was really eating macaroni, he says he eats it when he's sick, that its food for people who're ill. i agree, but sometimes after eating strongly-flavoured food a long period of time, smth bland and comforting like chicken macaroni is smth good to slurp up.

of course, this isnt one of those time. i WANT evil, unhealthy. stongly-flavoured food with spices and msg and everything. godammit!

and on a last note.. i had so much r&b drummed into my head the night before at the chinablack party that when i was sleeping last night tons of Nelly songs were playin in my head.. on a jukebox in my dreams.. i am SO fucking not kidding. i woke up, and i was like, wtf?! r&b freakout!!

gonna raid the kitchen now. wish me luck, coz im a picky eater. *chomp chomp* by the way Amanda sweetheart, i feel like eating stingray now. but.. i cant.. bloody throat.. killing me.. bloody bastard..

reading: Everything's Eventual by Stephen King.

2004-02-08T07:18:00.000+08:00

i just got off the phone with Gerald kor. i had to hang up on him coz my throat was absolutely butchered. im quite positive that im gonna have laryngitis soon. fucking hell. laryngitis is a real bitch, and i would know.

anyways. i went to the ntu/nus/shitty university party at chinablack tonight. the people there were all pretty old. blergh. the queues were long, and Donovan queued with me once again even tho he wasnt going in. and the music kept changing. from good to bad to good, but mostly bad. and the drinks were pretty crappy too.

i am NOT going clubbing for the next few months.. cept for this coming friday, when im going to zouk with Amanda for the Stacie Orrico thang.

anyways. Sara DJ, Amanda, Diana, Sidney tinkerbell, Jenny, Nadiah, Gekpuay, Shuping, Jeremy, Gerald kor, Mark 6, Bizhen, El Paulo, Haugeng, Nabil and Marcus were with me at chinablack today. bloody big bunch of people. no wonder everyone kept losing everybody else.

there was this point of time when i got a teensy bit high and i was msging Donovan saying that i wanted to see him, and he replied that he'd come down to meet me. i hadnt even replied him, and the next msg i got was him saying that he was already outside chinablack, and where was i?

i was quite surprised, coz t'was quite a casual remark really, and yet he'd left his friends so readily to meet me. i thought t'was pretty damn sweet of him to do so. ee! and before i went into chinablack tonight, we went to far east coz i needed to collect my boots. he had to carry em around everywhere after that coz i wanted to leave em with him til i next saw him, i didnt wanna bring em to chinablack. he even had to bring the boots around when he met his friends and all.. he's such a dear.

and ohh.. at one point of time -okay, make that a few points of time- i was really in the mood to go home. just wasnt really in the mood, i spose. and at one point i really nearly did. Amanda got her bag and mine, and she and Bizhen shared a cab back coz they stay near each other. i, on the other hand, was due to take the nightrider home.

unfortunately, or fortunately, i didnt leave. i thought that i'd just linger around with a few people downstairs before heading home when they decided to back up to chinablack. and then.. yeahh.. you figured it out.. i went back up, put my bag back at the bag counter, and continued dancing all the way til 3am. they were playing r&b all the way til 3am, y'see. but after that, they started playing some shitty nonsense, so i decided that i'd REALLY leave this time.

El Paulo came down with me to meet Mark 6, and Gerald kor came down too, and after buying gatorade from the 7-11 at far east, the 4 of us ended up slacking at the stone tables there. Sara DJ joined us afterwards, too. and by the time i took a nightrider and i reached home t'was 5am on the dot.

and its so cool.. Nabil came with Nadiah really late, and when he saw me, he was like, "heyy! yer maddie right?" and im like, "yeah?" and he says, "yer Matthew's cousin??" and i was like, so excited, i yelled, "how dynoe that??" turns out that they both know each other from, where else, armyyyyyyy, where they're both officers. Matthew had asked Nabil how he'd known me, and Nabil had just said thru an acjc friend. thank god that he hadnt said how he'd first really met me: at the new year's eve party, where everyone smoked and drank and got drunk. omg. thank god Nabil hadnt said that man. smart boy!

speaking of which, i havent smoked in the past few days, including today, coza my thraot. and tho i've been drinking a lil, the drinks were extremely bloody watered down, so that doesnt count. i think its the fact that i've been talking and shouting alot. crap. dammit.

good godd. my voice is really going. i dont know if i cant meet Donovan later, i wont be able to say a word i think. my voice is really fucking up on me. laryngitis kicks in, slowly but surely. sonofabitch!! and i really wanna meet Don, too. curses curses curses. bloody throat! christ. im eating canned tuna now.. i smell like fish.. *sniffsniff*

it is late.. or early.. 7.15am.. time for sleep.. g'night, all.

2004-02-07T09:41:00.000+08:00

hello. i am awake. and i am not going to sentosa. i slept at like, 4am, and i woke up at 8.30am, but when i called Sara Dj she was also still at home and Amanda was still.. *snorx*.. sleeping.

anyways. i called em coz its pretty cloudy out and there aint no point tanning if you cant get tanned coz there's no sun right? and also, i think all that talking, laughing and prata + curry last night must've done me bad, coz my throat's taken a turn for the worse. fuckk.

and im sposed to go to chinablack tonight with the girls & the guys, i cant afford to go when my throat's so screwed up! so i've already taken some sore throat medicine, and im waiting for it to take effect. in the meanwhile, i'll consume gallons of liquid, gets lotsa rest, and keep my mouth shut all the way til chinablack tonight, so as not to further aggravate my throat.

of course, once i get back from chinablack, i'll probably lose my voice for the rest of eternity. some may agree that that can also be a good thing.

i bet some(or perhaps alot) of my friends of my friends wish they could be here with me during these so very trying times.. if only to see me quiet for a day. *harx*

anyways. i'll probably go to sleep soon. need my rest, ynoe.

but in the meanwhile, lemme just say that i am STILL happy with yesterday's impulse buy. i lookit my adidas shoes in my (stolen)adidas shoebox and i smile.. i am happy. *grinz*

oh yeahh. i had to steal a shoebox coz the people at isetan dont give out the shoeboxes for the shoes that're on sale. El Paulo wondered what they did with the real boxes.. where did they go? which other shoes did they house? how many other boxes were there? coz seriously, there're ALOT of shoes on sale, and they all look pretty damn new. *twilight zone theme song.. hit it!!*

yeahh well anyways. hopefully my throat heals soon. i've had laryngitis twice and pretty serious throat infections thrice before. this is pretty damn shitty.. i dont know why my throat's so screwy. mebbe all this are just small signs telling me that there's smth BIGGER at work.. smth more malignant and evil at work.. like throat cancer or smth.. CHOYYY!!

tho frankly i wouldnt be surprised if i had it but lets not do the whole self-fulfilling prophecy thang coz i strongly believe that the mind has shitloads of power over the body and who knows what a small thought like that could spark off. after all, i've got such immense mind + will power..

*cough cough*

anyhow. the reason i slept so late last night was coz i was playing with my pink monkey. yeahh.. my baby pink mcdonalds monkey. its stupid, i know, but its been like, YEARS since i've played with a stuffed toy. ynoe, making it do stuff and all that kinda kiddy stuff.(actually.. who says its gotta be kiddy, right?) i was tucking it in next to me as i was in bed, i was sitting it on my chest, i was making it talk.. christ. you'd have thought i was five years old or smth.. dont say anythin. but yea, i got distracted from sleeping, you could put it that way. i like my pink monkey, it is adorable. ooh!! and before i forget, i was thinking last night that im gonna get me ANOTHER pink monkey. no, seriously. i am, if they're still selling those monkeys. i'll spend the money meant for today's sentosa outing on another pink monkey! yayy!! hurrah!! woohoo!!

alright. time for some sleep so that i'll be ALL WELL AND HEALTHY WITH NO TERRIBLE SORE THROAT OR ANYTHIN OF THE LIKE. y'hear that, Body? y'hear that? Mind's telling you to heal the throat, baby. see, i feel better already. [ahh, the grandeur of self-delusion!]

listening to: Not gonna Get Us by Tatu.
Body, this is a very inspiring song. this shall be our theme song for the week. Not Gonna Get Us.. the bad, evil virus and icky bacteria's Not Gonna Get Us, aight? understood?

2004-02-07T01:33:00.000+08:00

i am home. and i am happy HAPPY HAPPY!!
lemme start from the beginning.. .. ..

there was this, well, rather overweight girl on the train yesterday. okayy. she was fat. she was! she wasnt plump, she was fat. there's a difference. now, i dont have anythin against overweight/plump/fat/obese people unless they stink and they blob their fat in my face. i think most people would agree with me.

but anyways. she was quite pleasant looking(and she didnt stink and she didnt blob her fat in my face) and she was just sitting opposite me in the mrt as i was on my way to town. she was wearing this black tee-shirt that had the words "Seek, and ye shall find" printed on her shirt. unfortunately, the words were printed right where her bosom was. and i couldnt help staring at her chest the entire journey as she did her math homework.

her bosom.. t'was mesmerising.. the way the words undulated over her boobs.. the way they snaked their way over her chest.. the red words printed on a black background was so contrasting.. and besides, there really wasnt anything else on the train to read or anything else to look at. and her chest was a safe place to focus my eyes on coz she was doing her work and she wouldnt know i was looking.

ohh yea. and i was at wisma and they've got that huge kfc there, next to breadtalk. and inside that kfc is a hugeass banner-like poster of Colonel Sanders in his chicken factory, or wadever. and at that mo, i had a thought: Colonel Sanders is a chicken pimp.

yes, quite unfounded, but all i could think of as i made my way to far east after seeing that banner thang was: Colonel Sanders is a chicken pimp. he does good chicken pimpin. pimpin's his thang. he pimps chicken for a livin. that makes Colonel Sanders a kinda whore himself, coz he's a chicken pimp. chicken pimpin, chicken pimp. chicken pimpin, chicken pimp. big chickin pimpin.

thats all i could think abt.

and i bought myself a pink monkey in town just now, too. those're actually the toys that came with the mcdonalds extra value meals during chinese new year. but i spose these're the extras and they're just selling the monkeys now, and you dont havta buy the damn extra-yeahh-right-its-not-extra value-my-ass-it-aint-value meals!! so i bought myself a pink monkey.. for only two dollas!!

so cheap.. i like. i like pink, and i like monkeys. so i got myself a pink monkey. good logic, no? its baby pink tho.. if t'was HOT sizzling pink that'd be awesome. but its not. owell. so when i came home i took out my baby pink monkey and played with it. did ynoe that you can bend its tail?? and that its lil monkey hands have got tiny velcro pads so that they can stick together?? and its made of fluffy towelly material.

things i did with my pink monkey
+i put the monkey my shoulder.
+i cradled my monkey.
+i put the monkey on my tummy when i watched survivor just now so that it could watch survivor too.
+i waved the monkey around.
+i put the monkey on my mom's boob and preteded that t'was breastfeeding. i made sucking sounds. my mom tried to slap my monkey, but my monkey was too quick for her!! so my mom slapped her own chest instead, and she coughed.
+i clapped my monkey's lil hands together and listened to the velcro sticking and unsticking. and then sticking again.
+i looked into my monkey's eyes.
+i stroked my monkey's fluffy towelly-furry-soft bum.
+i patted my monkey's cushy head.
+i balanced it on my foot. it keeps my foot warm.

thats abt all i did with it. i didnt bend its tail coz im afraid that the wire might just break thru the fur or the wire might break or smth. better to be safe than sorry, eh. i dont like the tail much, anyways. i love my monkey. MONKAAAYYYY!!!!!!! spankmymonkeyspankmymonkeyspankmymonkey. now i've really got a monkey to spank. hoho.

so yeahh. i went out to town today to get my boots exchanged for a newer, not-so-damaged-even-tho-its-only-ever-slightly-so pair. and the woman at the store ordered em and she said that i can collect em tmr. so thats dandy. plus, i didnt havta carry around the ugly neon green-and-orange bag coz i left the bag and boots there, i've got the receipt.

so i walked around far east, looking for a skirt for 45 mins, but couldnt find any. wadever. then i went to taka to meet Sidney, Amanda and Haugeng. Sara DJ never shows up the whole of today, i dont know wadahell she's been doing today.

anyways. the 4 of us walked to taka to get some sushi, and then we went to the isetan at.. shaw centre(i think thats what the place is called) to meet El Paulo. and on the way there, there was this weird chinese dude in work clothes and carrying a haversack who kept zig zagging in front of us, and who kept turning around to lookit us girls.

im not saying that we're gorgeous babes or anythin(dont say anythin, any of you, dont say ANYthing..), but seriously, this dude was majorly weird. so i just diao-ed him. i know, childish, but i didnt wanna say anything to him in case he came up to us and started whacking us up. but he either couldnt sense the animosity, or perhaps he was too much of a psycho/dumbass, but he kept doing that. walking from left to right and back again in front of us, and turning around all the time to stare at us girls, that is. Sidney and i were pretty damn dulan man.

then we were abt to reach the pedestrian crossing to cross over to wheelock, and he didnt stop at the curb, he stopped quite a distance back, kinda obstructing people from walking. and Haugeng wasnt happy with him either, so he bumped the guy on his arm. while we waited to cross, Haugeng said that the dude was blocking his way hahaha. we girls cheered Haugeng, and laughed at the weird chinese loser guy. i think he knew that we were laughing at his loser-ish antics.

but after he got bumped by Haugeng, he got even weirder. he came closer to us(he was behind us then) as we were all waiting to cross. i was the only one facing the back so i could see what he was doing. and he was actually staring daggers at Haugeng, and he clenched and unclenched his fists. he even snarled at Haugeng's back, i saw his lip curl, and he even did a few punching motions at Haugeng. i was like, wtf?? this weird dude's a psychobitch man.

and finally, when we could finally cross the road, i was a lil freaked out. frankly, i was a lil scared that the guy, who was walking bhind us, would start pummeling us to death or smth. but he didnt kill us, and i was glad. and thankfully he took a different path from us after that. freaky piece of shite.

anyways. when we got to isetan at shaw centre, El Paulo was at the shoe section, rummaging for, well, shoes. thre were adidas and nike shoes, everything going for around half the price that they'd normally cost. the shoes were between 60 to 80 bucks. i was like, omg! i gotta buy a pair!! even tho in my head i was thinking that i probably wouldnt find a nice pair, but i'd still get a pair anyway coz they were cheap. my logic, go figure.

but, thanks to SIDNEY tinkerbell dearest, she pointed out a pair that was pretty nice, and the first pair i picked up was.. my size!! its fate!! this is my DESTINY!!!! i tried on both sides, and i was like, "IM BUYING THESE!!!!" by the way, i was like, fuckin ecstatic, yea. i could'e eaten those shoes, i was so damn elated. and they only cost me 69.90 buckeroos. they're adidas, and its made of navy blue suede, and the 3 stripes on the side look kinda marble-y(ynoe how marble florring looks like?) and are protected by plastic. funny, the 3 stripes being protected by plastic, coz the entire shoe itself is made of suede and is SO fuckin vulnerable to rain. no stepping in the rain with these babies on til i cant be bothered much abt em.. which eventually i think i will. as in, cant be bothered.

anyways. i was so happy, i felt like.. i felt like.. i felt like i was one of the 11 winners who won the totto last night. i go into isetan, see El Paulo picking out shoes, i drool over em, Sidney selects a design, i try em on and buy em coz they fit.. the entire process took less than 5 mins. so yeahh.. record time!! i was just, seriously, fuckin elated, man. and El Paulo bought 2 pairs of nike shoes, one pair was so similar to the pair he was already wearing haha. and he was pretty damn happy abt buying his shoes too, we had stupid grins on our faces. in fact, he's going back tmr to get some more shoes, arent you, El Paulo??

Sidney actually picked out the pair coz she thought they were nice and she suggested that we all buy the same pair. i was like, okay okay!! but Amanda didnt wanna. and Sidney seemed surprised when i wanted to buy it on the spot. i hope she gets a pair tmr tho, it'll be cool if we both have got the same pair of shoes!! i love me shoes. they make me happy. aieeaieeaieeeeaaaiiiii..

i was just so happy. happy happy happy!! and then we all went out to meet Bizhen and Justin, who both drove to pick us all up so that we could go to thompson to eat prata. i was grinning all the way in the car to thompson, i was damn hyper, i sang and danced to the techno playing in Bizhen's car. and Bizhen had that ONE techno song i like on his cd!! God Is A Girl.. yea.. thats the title. kick me, but its a pretty nice song. to me, anyways. gotta thanks Chuan De for introducing it to me. the poor boy's still in malaysia i think, i havent seen him in bloody yonks.

anyways. after prata.. we all went home. yeahh. Bizhen was a nice guy, he sent Sidney home first, then me, then Amanda. thanks Bizhen zhen zhen!! *harx* and i got home at 10.30pm too, just in time to catch the 2nd half of Survivor All Stars.

GO RICHARD HATCH!! YOU RAWWKK, YOU SCHEMING SONOFABITCH!!! I SUPPORT YOU!! DONT GET KICKED OUT!! RAWWWKKK ONNNNN!!!

anyways. just got off the phone with Sara DJ.. she, Amanda and i are gonna be meeting at harbourfront mrt at 10am.. omg. thats an ungodly hour to meet i swear. i hope i cant get up. the things we do to get a good, solid, tan. geez.

my throat still hurts, but i feel alot better as compared to the day before. my throat just feels like there's a golf ball in it, is all. nice.

i want more shoes. will somebody please sponsor me? and will the person who's sponsoring me also buy me strepsils? *hackk* thank you muchly.

listening to: Beautiful Freak by The Eels.

2004-02-06T10:48:00.000+08:00

i am ignoring the way my body is hurting and am eating nissin seafood cup noodles right here and now. my body, it hurts.. my neck, it aches.. my throat, its sore.. my limbs, they're weak.. my head throbs when i cough.. i am a fool to fill my body with such cheap-yet-tasty-noodley garbage when i need proper nourishment instead.. throat hurts.. need proper food.. need nourishing food.. need a coke..

ahh im just exaggerating la. [no shite, sherlock.] i CAN eat solid food, i CAN drink, i CAN talk and sing, albeit not at my normal + usual booming volume.. much to the dismany of the world, i reckon. *chuckle* however, i cant eat the remotest spicy food, and i cant shout. this means that im probably gonna be pissed off alot coz 1)i cant eat whatever i want and 2)if im pissed off, i cant shout, and that'll piss me off even further, but i still cant shout, so i'll get even more pissed off..etcetc. dig the vicious cycle, baby.

but thanks muchly to Kum sweetie, Edna dearest, dudie El Paulo and of course, Donovan my sweet lil thingy, for showing me concern when my immune system is unsound and my constitution weak. i love y'all. *hugz*

some more thanks to Edtz for teaching me to do the killer font. *harx*

listening to: I'm With You by Avril Lavigne.
alright, so im guilty of actually liking her lots when she came out, and i still like her music now, tho i dont actually like Avril very much herself. did ynoe that her song's up for the Best Song Of The Year award at the grammys 2004? man.. its only an alright song, Best Song Of The Year my perky arse. americans.. pssh. can you imagine if she actually won it?? it'd almost be, but not quite, the apocalypse of the music world.

2004-02-06T08:36:00.000+08:00

ooh!! and coza fierce competition from The Bratz(who're totally cool, by the way) and other dolls, Mattel has decided that its time to give Barbie a complete image overhaul.. Barbie's breaking up with Ken and will be getting a new boyfriend.

omg. this is life-changing! poor blonde genital-less Ken!! he didnt do anything to deserve this!! ..tho i gotta admit that not having a penis is more than good enough reason to break up with yer man..

now we gotta wonder if Barbie's 2nd boyfriend(after being with Ken for so many decades) will be a.. *gaspp* BRUNETTE?? we will miss the peroxide blonde of Ken's hair, i assure you. and we also wonder if he'll be as successful as Barbie without being such a pussy, hiding behind his woman all the time? now we wonder if the new boyfriend will have actual proper proportionate genitals so that Barbie will be more sexually satisfied and wont have to go scooting around, having a million careers and owning a million outfits, all coz her boyfriend's lacking the basic minimal apparatus that makes a man a.. MAN?? needless to say, the poor fella's lacking the adequate and very much necessary equiment to keep his lady sated and satisfied.

its time for Barbie to find a man with some real balls.(its amazing how many jokes you can crack abt a man's manhood.. when he hasnt got any! hoho!)

anyways. i was in bed and doing a good lot of thinking and big-toe wiggling and i came up with this.. 10 reason a mobile's better than a boyfriend and, following that, 10 reasons a boyfriend's better than a mobile.

10 reasons a mobile's better than a boyfriend
1)it doesnt give you any false hopes.
2)every move it makes is an anticipated, predictable one.
3)it doesnt talk back.
4)you can play with it anywhere and anytime you want.
5)it belongs to you, and you only.
6)it'll never go out and find another owner.
7)its with you 24/7, its up to you if you choose to put it aside.
8)you can do whatever you want with it, drop it, abuse it, and it wont retaliate.
9)it has many good features, and you pick the mobile of yer choice and it comes with everything you want.
10)it makes you feel good whenever you use it. [think abt the numerous features and what they do.. they DO make you feel good.]

10 reasons a boyfriend's better than a mobile
1)he likes you alot/fond of you/loves you, and he shows it.
2)he'll buy you stuff.
3)he hugs you, and he's all warm and smooshy.
4)if he drives, thats pretty cool, not to mention convenient. for you at least.
5)he has an adorable smile that makes you smile. it helps if he's got amazingly straight teeth.
6)he tells you nice things. sometimes, anyway.
7)he listens to yer problems and hopefully responds to them in an appropriate and desirable manner.
8)there's always more to discover abt him, and he could probably teach you lots. [if you pick the right dude, ynoe ynoe.]
9)he makes jokes, and you both laugh coz the jokes're funny, or coz they arent.
10)FOREPLAY. [this singular reason is a pretty damn good and valid reason for most of us, im sure.]

thats abt it.

and Steph has been emailing me, and i've been replying. well, d'oh. and tho its good to hear from her, its also a lil weird at the same time, i feel a strange sort of detachment. she's like a relic from the past, and i havent contacted anyone from it. and she's one of the few to actually break into my bubble and we're talking. owell.. im not opposed to it or anything, most def not. just that lil sense of emotional insoucience in the way, like i said earlier on.

i hope it wont be sunny today.. i'll prob be up all day and i hate it when it gets all hot and the sweat drips off you + and its all sunny and bright so that its so glaring you cant lookit anywhere else but the floor. but sun is good when yer going tanning.. like i am tmr!! i'll be going with Amanda and Sara DJ, of course. i dont know abt Sidney tinkerbell. i really hope that she comes along tho.. she might be a wee bit tougher to contact if she's really sold her phone to get those clothes she picked out at zara the day i bought my boots.

speaking of which, there're a few teensy weensy micro flaws with my boots and if possible, im going back to get em changed for a new pair. i might be being paranoid, of course, but jeck it. if i can change it, i will. these are me boots we're talkin abt, ladieez and gents!! *squelch*

ohh yeahh.. and i checked out that white adidas jacket with the gold stripes at the adidas shop at pac plaza. i'd seen the jacket at the adidas fashion show at zouk and i was like, "i gotta have THAT!!" unfortunately, the jackets only comes in men's sizes and are disgustingly huge, and are also quite, quite overpriced. seriously not worth the moolah yer dishing out for it. i'd rather get smth from a/x man.

im hungry, i feel like eating cup noodles. cept that they're so rough they'd kill my throat. i swear, when i drink liquids, i can even feel the molecules bumping and sliding down my throat. its friction all the way, it hurts. see. thats why i need a liquid diet.

and actually, NOW would be a pretty good time to start changing and then head down to town to get my boots changed. but.. yeahh right im gonna haul my ass to town now. lemme go check what cartoons, if any, are on central now. i bet all they've got on are those kiddy info-educational shows. bahh. kill Barney!! big fat purple bastard.. *grumble*

listening to: Red-blooded Woman by Kylie Minogue. i like this song lots.

2004-02-06T07:27:00.000+08:00

i know, its insane, it's 6.45am and im up already. i went to sleep at 12+am and i woke up at 6 and couldnt get back to sleep even tho i tried. tried hard, too. and man my bloody neck aches. sonofabitch.

actually, 6 to 7.30am's my secondary sleeping time, which might be the reason i woke up. i kept sleeping at around this time couple of days back, and i spose it screwed around with my bodyclock pretty badly. so, im up, and i shall blog.

i had a 2 dreams(that i remember) last night. apparantly when we homo sapiens dream, we dream TONS of dreams, just that we never ever remember em all. the most number of dreams i've clocked remembering is 4 dreams, but heyy, who's counting, eh.

anyways.
dream number 1)Janmeety and i went out, and he was eating a small chicken drumstik, as was i. but smth i did made him throw away his drumstick, and he got annoyed with me, and i quote him(from my dream, of course), "that was my good chicken drumstick!!" i just ignored him. and then we walked to some gigantic open-air hawker place, and we sat down and the whole place was pretty filthy(reminds me of newton. ergh) and i ate cheng teng. i think my body's telling me that i gotta eat more 'cooling' stuff. heyy, i believe in 'heaty' and 'cooling' foods, as i do in 'yin' and 'yang', aight. they're inter-related, after all. and after i ate my cheng teng and Janmeet was still kinda sulky coz he threw away his chicken drumstick, we both headed home. end of dream number 1. might i add that, in real life, Janmeety would never be so petty or sulky. if anything, he keeps any unhappiness(if any) inside him and doesnt let it show, cept to his close friends.

dream number 2)cant remember much details from the dream, cept a bit when Amanda was telling me that she went out with Donovan, and i got pissed off with her for going out with him without me and behind my back and not tell me. the reason i remember this dream is coz even tho in the dream i was pissed off, my head was thinking, "why the fuckk am i getting so damn pissed off for? chill, girl!" of course, i didnt chill in my dream, and i woke up. end of dream number 2.

and abt a 2 weeks back, i had a dream that was very much closely related to what happened at the 7-11 the night of Sara DJ's party bash at safra.

i dreamt that i was with my girl friends(tho i couldnt see their faces) and we robbed a 7-11 the size of ntuc. we grabbed shitloads of stuff. and i noticed that there was this security guard who kept looking at us(security guard at a bloody 7-11, go figure) and he wore the typical khaki + ugly shitty brown security guard uniform. and then of course, naturally, we decided to leave after pocketing and bagging our stolen goods, and t'was raining out. heavily. and then the security guard suddenly came after us, and i yelled, "run!!!" and we all ran like hellbitches. i was the fastest runner, the girls were lagging in a group behind me. i was especially pissed that we'd gotten caught coz the heavy rain was ruining my hair. the security guard shouted, 'STOP! STOP!!" repeatedly but did i stop? HELL NO!! what am i, fuckin stupid?(answer: hell no!!) but then the girls themselves told me to stop running, so i stopped, and when the security guard finally caught up with me, he was panting, and he said to me very nicely with a smile on his face, "dya need help hailing a cab?"

wadahell, really. i run like a mf'ing bitch on fire, and my hair's screwed up coza the heavy rain, and im tired coz i've been running so far and so long, and all yer chasing me for is to ask me if you can help me hail a cab?? bloody fuck?!

godd i have retarded dreams. they're kinda fun tho. i get entertained, even in my sleep. how many people can boast of that, eh? hoho!!

and i was listening to wkrz 91.3 and the ang moh dj is the dj for the morning show. ynoe, whenever i listen to him i dont feel like im in singapore, i feel like im in some hotel in new zealand, and after i wipe the sleep from my eyes, im gonna go down for breakfast and eat scrambled eggs + bacon + toast with jam + cereal, with coffee, too. then of course it gets ruined when the dj announces the traffic news and he starts talking abt woodlands and jurong and bedok and what-not, and im back in singapore again. bah! i want me scrambled eggs + toast + bacon.

anyways. the ang moh 91.3 dj was saying that Britney Spears wants to be Bond girl. *smirx* MGM wasnt the one who arranged the meeting, ms. Spears was the one who wanted to meet em, and they only met her to be polite. needless to say, there was no deal coz 1)there isnt even a Bond script at the mo and 2)i bet MGM was enough horrifed by Crossroads. ha! HA! HAA!! can you imagine ms. Spears as a classic Bond chick, tryna be all elegant in the poster? omg. *barf* me thinks that she should stay doing what her fans love her doing.. no more Crossroads for this -fine- young lady. mind the pun. and im serious, too. Britney as a BOND GIRL!!!! *choke* ooh, im choking on my spit, im laughing too hard, *choke choke*

and en passant, my throat is still hurting like a bitch. it hurts to talk, it hurts to swallow, i wanna get put on a liquid diet coz 1)it hurts to eat solid food and 2)i lose weight!. but never mind reason number (2).

and remember Elaine, my cousin's really young daughtre, and how she's got pneumonia? and that my cousin brought her to the family dinner on saturday night, even pneumonia's disgustingly contagious? unlikely as it is that i've caught it, i swear, if i've caught it, i'll kill her. i'll kill Elain, i'll kill my cousin, and i'll kill my cousin's husband. sure, Elaine's adorable, she's one of the few kids i can stand and actually life(and possible adore).. but if i've caught her pneumonia i will KILL her.

i might be kidding.

listening to: 12:51 by The Strokes.

2004-02-05T15:40:00.000+08:00

man. i just woke up after sleeping for 14 and a 1/2 hours. why? coz i was ill, thats why!! *ding ding!* i win a million bucks.

well. i went out yesterday, and i had a sore throat, and i smoked a fag or two, seriously not enough to get me keeling over in pain or anything. but i did eat some heaty foods. and at the end of the night, on my way home, i started feeling preeeety bad.

when i got home at abt 12am, i just couldnt wait to get into bed, i had a bloody fucking fever. i didnt take any medicine, just bathed and wore my warmest sleeping clothes(thats made up of my track pants and Chai's ugly green&orange long-sleeved adidas rugby shirt) and i slept all the way til 7am.

no peaceful sleep for me between the hours of 12 to 7, unfortunately. i had so many weird and strange dreams, and i was hallucinating a lil whenever i kept waking up. i kept dreaming crazy dreams abt my bolster, and whenever i woke up my bolster would feel hard as wood, or soft as feathers, t'was fuckin weird. i kept grinding my teeth as well, so badly on my splint that i actually woke up a few times from the sound. i'd never grinded my teeth so loudly that i woke up before, thats a first. i also kept waking up coz i was too hot, or waking up coz i was too cold. jesus.

but hallelujah, come 7am, i woke up, and i wasnt so delirious anymore. i took off my splint, and i slept a deep sleep all the way til 2.30pm. so its like, 7 hours of shitty sleep, and 7 hours of really good sleep to make up for the shitty sleeping-time.

im pretty much alright now, tho my sore throat's still killing me. yes, sore throats can kill. i've no idea why i got a fever man. do fevers just sneak up on you or smth? i dont think i've had a fever for a year or more. good thing it subsided in like, 7 hours. does this mean that i've got a real tough immune system?? hawhawhaw!

ANYWAYS!! yesterday i was out with Amanda, Sara DJ, Sidney tinkerbell, Gekpuay, Mark 6, Ivan my smooshy marshmallow, El Paulo, Bizhen, Jeremy and Renee. and this other dude, i dont know his name. and we went to potblack again.. i swear, thats becoming our regular hang-out spot man.

but.. but.. but! thats not what i wanna talk abt! i bought a jewelled black cross yesterday(i love black crosses), and i bought.. BOOTS!!! i saw a pair at zara, they were on sale and they cost 99bucks, but they looked kinda old. and i really wanted to get em but Amanda suggested that we go look for a cheaper, newer alternative. so we went to far east, looked around, and just when we least expected it, we found a pair!! and it cost only 54 buckeroos!! omg. i was so damn happy man. i dont care if i only wear em once or twice, i got me booties!! boots boots puss in boots!! i rewarded Amanda and Sidney with my Hug Of Death for accompanying me to far east to look for em boots. also coz i was pretty damn ELATED.

Bizhen took a look at my boots when i was off in the loo afterwards and he said that they're killer, that the points of the heels could probably murder someone. this makes things so much cooler. can you imagine if i really do kill someone with my boots?? they'll put in my police record.. weapon of choice: BOOTS. ooh! fuckin awesome.

and Erwin just called me.. i think he called me from camp. we were sposed to go out next week, but he only gets out over the weekend, so he asked me to go out on either friday or saturday. unfortunately, saturday's vday, and i had better be out with Donovan on that day.. *ahem ahemm* and as for friday, im going to zouk with Amanda for some.. special thingy.. i dont know what the event's called but Stacey Orrico's gonna be there. so i cant meet Erwin til next next week. like, woww.

another bit of my conversation with Erwin just now.
Erwin: heyy, dynoe a guy called Giang?
me: yeahh i do. why wadabt him?
Erwin: ohh he's my bunkmate.
me: ooh! thats so cool. but.. how did ynoe that i know Giang?
Erwin: we were trying to find some connections between us so i asked him if he knew any scgs girls and the first name that Giang mentioned was "maddie".
me: haha.. seriously?? the first name he mentioned was mine?
Erwin: yeahh.. coz you swear so much, yer very memorable la..

so im memorable only coz i cuss like a sailor la? *harx*

ohh.. and Jon msged me yesterday night i slept, telling me that he was getting married on the 30th of february, and to be at the ROMM on that day at 1.30pm. funny, funny. coz like, the 30th of february doesnt exist, yarr.

godd. my sore throat's hurting like a bitch. and thanks to comet cursor, i've changed my cursor to a pink distressed frog. i like pink, and i like frogs, so a pink distressed frog cursor is nice. amazon tree frogs are gorgeous lil things. okayy, bye.

2004-02-04T06:43:00.000+08:00

8 hours and 19 minutes online and still counting.

i swear, i love mobile phones. i LOVE mobile phones!! too bloody bad i lost my other samsung A800, tho. but when i talk abt it now i dont feel as bad as i used to. its like a bad breakup.. the ache and pain eases as time goes by. i am so serious, its not even funny.

i know i've raved abt the samsung E700 before, so i shant go on and on abt it. the phone not only looks good, the features are great as well. omg. i swear, when this mobile first came out and i checked it out online, i was so damn happy, it looked SO good!! yumm!!

and this is the brand new model from samsung, the X600, and it isnt even out yet. admittedly, the features are pretty damn fantastic, especially where the camera feature's concerned. im not kidding. very fucking awesome, they really went into details with this one. and the other features are also extremely good, too. unfortunately, the phone itself looks like shite, tho its in quite a handy size. ugly phone. ugly!!

and FINALLY, this is the phone that got me really cumming in my panties. can y'all believe that this thang is even a freakin phone?? introducing the nokia 7200, ladieez and gents!!

this baby isnt even in town yet, tho nokia promises that it'll be in 1st quarter of 2004. granted, the phone kinda looks like a ciggie case, and its a wee bit larger than the previous 2 samsung mobiles. the features are an improvement from other nokia models, meaning that its a few steps closer to being a samsung phone. heyy, i like samsung phone features, aight.

but really, its just the numerous GORGEOUS patterns the phone can have, combined with the sleek look, camera + video capabilities of the phone, and the other features thats giving me multiple orgasms over here. i swear, i was clapping my hands and jumping in my seat as i checked this baby out. blame the ADHD, but perhaps this phone is just fuckin fantastic. a lil too bad the phone's a lil bit more chunky than the samsung E700, coz i like my phones to be small. like, ye small.

hmm. on 2nd thought.. the samsung E700 looks alot better. less clunky, dont you think? well. i gotta meet these phones up close and personal first. the closest i ever came to an E700 that was actually owned by someone was at the far east bus stop.

i was sitting at the bus stop, waiting for Sara DJ who'd be in Tim's car. we were going over to Diana's place, t'was the 23rd of january, a friday. and i was waiting, waiting, waiting, and then this dude, a teenager, sits down close to me. he's just this ordinary dude, ynoe. and he's smoking, the only one smoking at the bus stop, and i was kinda wishing that i had a fag, too. and then i realise that i dont give a shit abt a fag! he's holding this fuckin gorgeous phone. i didnt even realise that t'was the E700 til much later on, when i thought abt it. but at that point of time, i was mesmerised. t'was so sleek.. and smooth.. but to my chagrin, as much as i tried, i couldnt see any brand name on the phone. but t'was so beautiful!! and when he opened up the phone(coz its a flip phone, and i LOVE flip phones!), the colour!! aiee! t'was anguish, not even knowing what model that phone was. and the best bit is that i've raved abt the E700 on my blog, and yet i didnt even realise that he was holding the E700. and ynoe wot, it looks so much better in real life!! omg. i swear, i could cry and laugh at the same time.. the phone's so fuckin beautiful!! and then the fucker who owned the phone but didnt deserve it coz he's not as good-looking as his phone got on the bus when it came, and the phone disappeared from my life forever.

i can still remember the scene.. still painfully poignant in my mind.. etched in my brain like words carved onto metal.. *sighh* i am sad. very sad. if only to hold the E7000 just once! just once!! and i would be happy, i say. okayy.. to hold it just once, and to fiddle around with it, take a few pictures, send out a few smses and mmses, and then proceed to make a call or two, before taking some more pictures, will my hunger be finally sated.

sorry. raved a bit back there like a lunatic abt the E700 didnt i. a thousand apologies, my dear friends. well. i'll just havta meet the nokia 7200 before i can rave abt that too.. if it deserves any raving, that is.

6.30am. slepp. *snorxx*

listening to: Sweetness by Jimmy Eats World.
ohh, ohh, the sweetness of it all!! ohh!!

a lil ironic, but the song playing before this was Happy by Ashanti. im not happy! not happy!!! aiee!! the anguish!!! ohh, im SUCH a thespian, i cant stand it. Amanda's right, i deserve a bloody Oscar. gimme gimme gimme!!

2004-02-04T03:46:00.000+08:00

a post of random thingamajiggied thoughts

(1)
' "All my life I've wanted to go to Earth. not to live, of course- just to see it. As everybody knows, Terra is a wonderful place to visit but not to live. Not truly suited to human habitation." '
culled from Podkayne Of Mars by Robert A. Heinlein

(2)
and i remember on saturday night, the night Jazzy Jeff played at zouk and adidas had its fashion show, that i saw this girl with a militarian sorta cap, that was army green and had a big red star on the front. and i thought t'was really cool, it would've gone perfectly with my mao tze dong army green shirt, so i went up to her and asked her, "hi! yer cap's nice! where did you get the cap?" and she smiled and she replied, "china." i was like, "dammit! coz that is a nice cap." and she said, "thanks!" and she smiled again.

so, no cap. coz i dont have a private jet that allows me to fly off to china to get that cap. plus, my mom's got my passport. *snorx* but if i had that cap, it would've been so cool. china.. mao ze dong.. see the connexion man?? cool shite!

(3)
and coz the adidas fashion show was on as well at zouk that night, they had this hugeass adidas logo made up of big round blue shiny sequins up. SHINY!! so i went up to it after the fashion show was over and Jazzy Jeff was spinning and i wanted a sequin(since i obviously wouldnt have been able to pluck every single damn sequin off and reassemble it back in my home), so i went up the huge logo thang and tried to yank off a sequin. but godammit, the sequins were made of metal, and the sequins themselves were linked up to the wall with metal hooks embedded into the wall on both sides. i gave a sequin a few rough yanks but it still didnt come off. sonofabitch.

(4)
Amanda and i were just talking on the phone and we were talking abt this creep, who's called E*****. and i was saying that this is one guy you should never ever say "fuck you!" to coz he'd take you literally and say, "alright baby!!" and start stripping. so i said that when he DID strip, we should handcuff him to a wall. Amanda then said that we could proceed to laugh at his tiny penis. i said no, we should whip him instead. no noo, whip his lousy excuse for a penis instead! and with a tiny itsy bitsy whip!! that'd be so cool. and the whip would make tiny whipping sounds too, ynoe. just imagine it! it'd be so adorable. and the whip handle would be the size of a matchstick, and the whip itself 3 times that length, and it'd all be black and made of leather. totally awesome, dudes. like, happy birthday, E*****!! *whipp!*

(5)
i shouldnt say this coz i sound like such an egocentric bitch, but Amanda told me on the phone just now that Donovan and i look cute as a couple. she also happenes to think that i deserve an Oscar. and i do, dont i? *smug look* but thats another story for another day. anyways. i could be wrong but sunday night might've been the first time she's seen Donovan and i together. she said that we look 'matching'. haha.. so cute. Donovan and i look matching! we sound like a pair of socks!!

"hey, here's pink sock number 1. where's my other sock?? oh wait.. here it is!! here's pink sock number 2.. my matching sock! hurrah! hurrah!!"

so essentially, Donovan and i are as matching as a pair of socks. heyy, not too bad a metaphor, right?

(6)

You have an earth personality. You takes things
seriously and are a deep thinker who is usually
interested in politics and will fight for what
he/she believes. You hardly ever fall in love,
but when you do, watch out world. You would
fight to the death to hold onto a relationship.
Your friends and colleagues see you as a rock
in the storm; someone stable and constant while
emotions rage around you. Be careful, because
of this you can sometimes be seen as
emotionless when, in fact, you are in touch
with your emotions far better than the average
Joe.

Elemental Personalities: Which is Yours?
brought to you by Quizilla

like, wow. im like, Gaia, you guys. i rawwkk!! i am SO totally grounded and cool. whoo.. hell yeahh!!!

(7)
Guy Just Totally Smoking Weed On Street
MADISON, WI—Graduate student Danny Lindner, 26, reported that he was shocked Monday to see a guy just totally smoking pot right on the street. "This dude was, like, just walking down the sidewalk puffing on a joint, right out in the open," Lindner told roommate Kyle Rath. "I could totally smell it. It was so weird. What was he thinking?" Lindner added that it was broad daylight out.
culled from TheOnion.com

(8)
i need more black and pink clothes. nice black and pink clothes. sure, im gonna get myself 2 more of the exact same black t-shirt that i've already got, but heyy.. thats a staple, man. black clothes are cool. i love black. i'd also love to dress goth. but its a lil tough finding goth clothes that are cool, comfy, not too strange and socially acceptable so that i dont get stoned in public when i go out. getting stoned in public wont exactly be pleasant, me thinks.

check these pants out.

and these tops.

i just like the cross on the 2nd top, actually.

and this jacket!!

and these accessories.

(9)

very cool. well, actually the drawings arent neat, its just the concept behind it that is. Randy, the artist behind the comic, did up his characters in his webcomic as the characters featured in Neil Gaiman's own comic, The Sandman. i love The Sandman, i gotta thank Jon for introducing the comic to me. the drawings are excellent, the storyline fantastic. plus, Morpheus is pretty hot. thats the sandman himself, doofus.

plus, Death is dressed goth!! Amanda, you've got the notebook, ynoe the style The Sandman's drawn in.

(10)
i should start taking my ritalin on a constant basis. i say this coz Mark 6 could tell that i had ADHD the night of the Clifford's chinablack party. he says that im hyper all the time and i behave like his other friend who's got ADHD as well. frankly, i really really dont think im hyper, but heyy, wadever rocks his boat.

(11)
okayy.. so Gothika did manage to creep me out a lil.. im feeling the lingering effects of the movie now.. its pretty late and i went to the kitchen to get some food and i was kinda afraid that the blonde girl in the movie would pop up and grab me by the wrist. and i could feel smth following me from the kitchen to the room, too. alright. not gonna sleep til the sun rises, i am.

(12)
aight. im just got off the phone with Gerald kor. its like 3.45am now and the dude's gotta go to camp at 7am. omg. thank god im not a guy and i dont havta go off to ns man. but if i WAS a guy and i was gay then i'd probably be really happy and content to go to ns. ha! ha! ha!

anyways. Gerald kor and i were talking abt relationships and vday and everything.. kinky! or not. but anyways, i've been online for 6 hours, i should go off now. i think i will.

(13)
and i love you guys! i shall do a special on all my friends soon. coz i love my friends. giggle tee hee hee.

(14)
listening to: I Try by Macy Gray.
reading: Taking Charge Of ADHD by Russel A. Barkley, PhD.
eating: bacon bits and mayo on bread. this is my 3rd slice in 10 mins.
drinking: justea(lemon flavour). this is my 3rd packet today.

2004-02-03T18:28:00.000+08:00

[warning: long rambling doodling entry ahead. wadever 'doodling' in this context means.]

sunday was Clifford bro's party at chinablack. i'd met donovan in the afternoon and we caught Stuck On You. which wasnt exactly good coz 90% of the funny bits were already in all the numerous trailers the damn show had. erghh. and after that Donovan walk me down to chinablack coz t'was already 10+pm. all the way from plaza singapura to chinablack we walked.. its very far when im wearing heels. and after walking me there Don had to go back to taka coz he parked his car there. he's a sweet lil thing! tho i think that he find it strange when i call him a 'thing'..

anyhow. the party wasnt too bad i spose. the music was alright and i danced even tho they played some ol skool retro music and all. but the drinks were super watered down, bloody bastards.

i thank my friends for their company, for without em i would've been unable to survive. my friends: Sara DJ, Amanda, Sidney tinkerbell, Gerald kor, El Paulo, Mark 6, Jeremy, Haugeng, Marcus, Erik the tall big viking dude, and these two other people, Benedict and Jenny. they're all cool people.

other people who were with us at that point of time, i deem them too paltry and insignificant to be mentioned in my blog. there were only 3 of em, actually. mebbe if they actually showed an ion of intelligence the next time i meet em(and i've already met em a few times), i might talk abt em. tho granted, they're hypocritically polite every time i meet em and obviously over-enthusiastic but hey, wadever rocks their simpleton boats, yea.

onwards!

so. on the dancefloor, this fat piece of shite kept elbowing me in the head coz he was on the platform and i was on the floor, and he apologized a few times for it, but dudes.. lets make this clear aight? talk is dirtcheap. SO, if mr. fathead apologizes, you'd expect him to STOP it. but nup, he's too much of a dumbass to stop elbowing me in my mf'ing head, so Erik the tall big viking dude swopped places with me so that mr. fathead can have the pleasure of elbowing him in the back instead of me in the head. coz Erik the tall big viking dude's like, two whole heads, yes ladieez and gents, two whole heads taller than i am.

thats alotta heads.

and anyways.. i'd like to go into detail abt the party but the party was two days ago and its so passe, and besides, alotta the stuff that happened didnt happen at the party itself anyways.

i bumped into a few people: Sascha twinny, Zhiyang, Jianhong, Clifford bro(d'oh! it was his party, after all), Steffie, Clara, D-Man, Casper, Dewi(Phat's sista), Joshua lim.. and whoever la, etcetc.

1)Amanda, Sidney tinkerbell, Erik, Mark 6 and i were walkin down to potblack at abt 1+am(coz the party was gettin boring), and Sidney saw the transies that loiter along the way. she was high, she called em 'bapok' and 'she-man' and what-not, the transies wanted to beat her up and called Sidney alotta names and started calling her names. for god's sakes, they even said that they were "all woman".
good god. if they're all woman i dont know what REAL women are. terrifying.. terrifying!! aiee!! scream along!! anyways. we managed to get away from the scary transies, which is good, tho along the way Sidney saw another transie and called her a bapok(again), and i just sang, "tralalalalaLALALALALA!!!!" really loudly to drown her out so that we wont get beaten up. heyy.. angry transies are fierce transies man. they'd do anythin to protect and defend their manhood.. ehh.. i meant, WOMANhood, yea, thats wot i meant.

that was.. fun? i think?

2)at potblack, we saw the dude who tried to dance up the girls. he came in later on while we were playing pool with some other people. haha! he's sucha loser. coz he tried to dance up to me first but i ignored him, but then he started getting too close for comfort so i scuttled over to Marcus's side. then he wanted to dance up to Amanda, but Gerald kor moved over to protect her. but he just kinda stayed there, still dancing, so i yelled to him, "there's no action here!! piss off!! bye!!" my face wasnt exactly a face saying, "yea baby lets go dancing and afterwards we can make sweet sweet love", but more like, "dude, yer an irritant and taking up our dancing space so shove off". but the doofus couldnt hear me over the music, so i just yelled really loudly so that he could hear, "BYE!!!!" and waved him away. so he went away, sexually-transmitted dieseases combined with very good + strong medication eventually do.

3)we decided to go for supper after playing pool. Danny and Erik both had cars, and so begins our great journey!!! first, we went to alameen at bukit timah coz we wanted to eat the prata there. oopsy, too bad, hari raya people! alameen was closed. so we went to the other end of the island, bedok, to eat the bak-chor mee there. i've been there a few times with Jon and all, the bak-chor mee's not bad. but oops again! we went there too late or smth, t'was already 4+ am i think, and the bak-chor mee stall was closed. so in an act of desperation we went to around bedok simpang there to eat prata. and thank god, the damn place was open.
i hadnt eaten a single thing the whole day cept for the tiny bowl of miso soup that came with Donovan's yoshinoya meal. by the time i ordered my milo and pratas, i found that i couldnt really eat even tho i felt physically sick. and when i ate, i had to eat real slow coz i didnt feel like eating and i felt ill too, even tho my body was practically starving to death.
Sidney had also eaten very lil the entire day and she felt ill like i did as well. so i got kinda miffed when Erik rushed Sidney and i to to eat faster if we wanted to leave. and so we hurried up, and after that, Erik was smoking, and we all didnt leave. so i continued to eat, hooha! anyways. i think my body was rejecting the food i was putting in it. i say eat, goddammit!! the great journey was not over, my friends!! woohoo! coz after the meal Danny sent us back, but he had to send Amanda back first, and we had to go back to the west again, actually going past alameen again, before Danny sent the rest of us back. the rest of us, consisting of kenneth, Sidney and i, coz the 3 of us + Danny all live in the same area.

4)i felt carsick after the meal, mebbe i could've thrown up a lil bit if i wanted to, but i resisted the slight urge to barf up all over Danny's car seats. coz its not nice and plus this was the first time i've met him. woww. leave a good impression, ynoe. but anyways, Danny wound down the windows and played techno music, and the dup-sup-sup of the beat was damn cool, i felt like a real beng man. plus, i knew a few of the songs! i could sing along! and i stuck my head outta the window.. now i know why dogs do it. its so fun! with the wind whipping thru yer hair/fur, yer mouth rippling as the wind blows into yer mouth, yer face distorted by the wind.. t'was fun!! i barked a few times, too. woof WOOF!! i was the only one who did it tho, i just cant fanthom why. *ponder the way a blonde ponders over whether the earth is flat or spherical* at the end of the car ride my hair got bloody messed up and Amanda said that i looked like a chow-chow. *woof!!*

but anyways.

that was sunday for you. i got back at abt 6.45am, and when i got back i was on the phone with Sara DJ y'see, and we talked til abt 9am. i love her lots!! but yea, byt the time i actually slept, t'was 9.30am on a monday morning.

and i was gonna meet Donovan on monday, so i'd told him to msg me once he was like, ready to meet. and he msged me at 11.10am and i only woke up at 11.30am when the beeping from my phone finally managed to penetrate into my state slumber. so i got up, bathed and everything, and he came to pick me up at 1.30pm. yes, it took me 2 hours to bathe and wash my hair and change.. i was mooooovvingggg raaaaatherr sloooowlyyyyy.

so monday begins, with 2 hours of sleep preceeding that.

Donovan and i ate at sakae sushi before catching Gothika at suntec. t'was my first proper eal in days, tho admittedly i still hadnt eaten alot. and as for gothika.. i expected it to be alot better i spose. alot better as in, alot more fucking scary. but it wasnt. i didnt have a sleepless night. i didnt have bad dreams. godammit!! last night was one of the rare nights where i actually had a dreamless sleep!! plus, Don and i cant figure out how the title Gothika relates to the movie. if any of you ever find out how it does, tell me, please.

thank you muchly.

after the movie we went back to Donovan's place to chill. we watch armageddon on channel 5.. made me wonder how people could get all weepy and teary over the movie when it was playing in theatres in early 1998. and then we just.. ynoe.. chilled out. we kinda fell asleep during west wing, and he sent me back at around 2+am.

i fed my gerbils quickly, i bathed quickly, and i went to sleep quickly.

i awoke 12 hours later, my mind refreshed, but my body aching. dont ask me why. im getting old.. a lil physical exertion and my body screws up. like, thanks alot, Body.

listening to: Pardon Me by Incubus.

2004-02-01T01:31:00.000+08:00

i dont check my email for a week and i get 47 pieces of spam mail. like, thanks alot, fuckers.

anyways. this is one of the emails i got, from a person i actually KNOW. its abt a letter from a husband to his wife, and her reply to her husband.

here it is:

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.

I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep
22 times you had a headache
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory
because:

6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

KEEP READING.......

==========================================================

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused.

Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you
prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe. ****

nice email. time for sleep. g'night, all. *snorx*

2004-02-01T00:52:00.000+08:00

the family dinner last night turned out to be quite alright. the restaurant served the dishes too fast so, being the singaporeans that my family's made of(good stuff!! *thumbs up*), the adults argued their way into letting us have on-ee. ynoe, the yam gunk. which is good. good gunk!!

and we had 2 tables, the adults and the kids(even the married kids sit at our table), so we had 2 bowls of on-ee altogether!! and coz one other cousin and the married couple(and their ever-so-cute daughter Elaine who i absolutely adore) left early coz their daughter was sick(pneumonia, actually. omg), there was more on-ee for the kids!! meaning,, the resta us! woohoo!! i love the stuff man. the adults were tryna maximise their one bowl of on-ee each, but us kids had so much left over.. it was gooood.. there were only 5 of us left, and Desmond didnt wanna eat any. he's 15 this year and 1.75m. wtf. so Angela had 1 bowl, Alex had 2 bowls, and Matthew(yea the cute one. harx!) and i had 3 bowls each. yeap, three. yumm! more, please! ynoe, do the oliver twist thang, y'all. shake it! shake it shake it! shake it.. like a polaroid picture!! heeeeeeyyyyaaaaaa.. heeeeeyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa..

anyways. it wasnt too bad tonight la seriously. Jeffrey said that i'd put on weight, tho. like, woww. he was at the Jazzy Jeff thang last night at zouk too. but he zhaoed before JJ even came on coz t'was too damn crowded. smart move, dude. and my uncle got tipsy on wine and started babbling to Matthew on the rules abt being an officer cadet now that Matthew's one himself. and seriously, wine breath stinks. blergh. vodka-limey breath smells better i swear. and i got rather bored at some bits but i spose it gets like that for almost everyone at some part of their family dinner.

or mebbe not.

anyways. i love Elaine, she's just so bloody adorable. i wanna hug her, and hold her, and squeeze her.. and i was thinking to myself.. ynoe how there're these places that rent out animals so you can feel what its like to have a pet for a day(or a week. or a month. wadever) and know the responsibilities that come along with having a pet? i was thinking.. how abt renting out kids??

ynoe, like, Rent-A-Kid!! very economical, me thinks. arr! and then you'll know what it'd be like to have a kid. you think the kid's so damn cute? wait til the damn thing spits up, vomits on, slaps, kicks, punch, cry, slobber on you!! see la.. see if you still find kiddies cute la.. most kids are evil.. EVIL!! cept for Elaine, she's an angel from heaven. and i havent seen many of those. angels, i mean. which explains why im still sucha mean-ass.

mebbe there'd even be pasar malam imitation Rent-A-Kid(since pasar malams have every imitation good under the sun and moon and stars). "lelong ah! lelong!! mai hai zi! mai hai zi!! hen pian yi!! kuai lai ah kuai lai ah!! lelong lelong!!" which, when roughly translated, means, "for sale ah! for sale!! selling kids! selling kids!! very cheap!! hurry come ah hurry come ah!! for sale for sale!!"

good idea, right? plus, there'd be a place for all those unwanted and illegitimate children who come from teenage pregancies to go to.. dont sue me.

and i dont know.. saw this kid the other day and alluva sudden it struck me.. kids are like dogs!! no, seriously. and i can prove it, too.

10 reasons kids are like dogs. *ahem ahemm*
1)they expect to be fed. constantly.
2)they shake around when they're happy, just like how dogs wag their tails.
3)they think that just by making pesky noises they'll attract attention and get people to tent to em. dammit. bloody crybabies and whiney shites.
4)they can be cute. [u got good-looking dogs, u got ugly dogs. same with kiddies.]
5)they cant drink their liquids from a cup. its gotta be a bottle.. drinking bowl.. big difference.
6)they're hyperactive and if they get outta yer hands you gotta spend all day hunting em down with a stick. or a gun.
7)they can be nasty when they dont get what they want. ohh, may the lord have mercy on our souls during those very very trying times.
8)they expect full-time loyalty from their owners. or parents. wadever.
9)they're very manja when you scratch or stroke their bellies or backs.
10)they think they're so damn cute.
bonus! 11)they like to smell each other's butts.

so there you go. 10 + 1 good resaons why kids are like dogs. and dont argue with me, i've got substantial proof that they are! aha!! innocent until proven guilty, dude!

anyways. im going for the chinablack party that Clifford bro's throwing later tonight. i wouldnt go under normal circumstances but he's my lil bro and i just.. gotta.. go.. and im meeting Donovan before that but he's not going for the chinablack party. godammit! he's sposed to obey my every whim and command!! i shall have to make some adjustments to his faulty programming.

just kidding. he's pretty perfect the way he is.

reading: From The Corner Of His Eye by Dean Koontz.
.. 645 pages.. i've got 37 more pages to go.. el no problemo..

2004-01-31T17:49:00.000+08:00

like, halle-fuckin-lujah. i havent been able to come online since tuesday coz my com's being all screwy. i swear, sometimes it takes after me so well that the resemblance is almost uncanny. just the bit that we're screwy, thats all. i dont look like a box or anything. i hope.

anyways. recap! i havent exactly been doin much these days, and i went out with Sara DJ, Amanda, Sidney tinkerbell, Diana, El Paulo, Ivan, Bizhen and Mark 6(short for 6-fingered Mark so that i dont get mixed up with any Marks that'll pop up in my life later on).

its cool. we chilled out. and pretty much literally since t'was raining like the god had a full bladder and hadnt pissed in a million years. very inconvenient, especially for El Paulo, Ivan and Diana, who had to go home.

and then we went to play pool at potblack. El Paulo and Ivan came from home and met us there. i havent played pool in bloody yonks and it felt good to play!! seriously, y'all. and Bixhen, Mark 6 and i played Cut throat and t'was good, such fond memories.. Jon lee, Dasson, Rui and i zhaoing school to go to redhill, pre-warriors, to play pool.. everything was good, redhill's just a suckky place.

and last night i wenta zouk with the same buncha people. Sara had free tix!! and being the el cheapo that i am i went. *chuckle* t'was some adidas fashion show thang + Jazzy Jeff was spinning. yea sure, he's cool coz he's collaborated with Will Smith before(think fresh price) but quite a few of his beats were pretty similar and.. he just dont play my kinda music, is all i can say. im sorry im not black. anyways! there was this one blonde ang moh model at the fashion show had a fuckin cut body man. ooh. yummy. and i love those lil indentations that guys get along the sides of their hips when they work out and they've got abs. i've no idea what you call those lil dents tho. but they're nice dents. haw haw haw.

unfortunately(for us as well as the models), they were all rather poseur-ish(no natural cool-ness, yo) and they cant dance. *shudder* my eyes!! the lil kiddies breaking was real cool, i love em. there was this one kids central kid(trust me, i'd know, i watcha alotta telly) who was breaking too. cept that he cat really break. good-looking, but cant break.

i love adidas stuff. and pink, too. so that would be pretty cool, pink adidas stuff. which i've already got coz Shujin bought me that pair of pink adidas grand prix sneakers for my birthday last year. he rocks!! *drool* more pink adidas stuff.. *slobber*

its quite the case most times, ainnit? you got good-looking people who're too over-confident of having their looks so they slack in other areas and end up retards. most times, retards who cant blog and who dont know the proper use of full-stops. like.. exclamation-mark-blog-boy. you KNOW who im talkin abt! another hint: "my life revolves around HER! im so happy to have HER! what would i do without HER! i thank gor for bringing me HER!"

*gag* and *choke*, maties.

so yea. i shall name the people i was with last night so that i will always remember this momentous occasion. *snorx* anyways: Sara DJ, Amanda, Diana, Sidney, El Paulo, Jeremy, Gerald kor, Shuping, Tim, Gekpuay and Wilfred. and afterwards Dasson, Chai and Janmeety came down too.

i saw tons and tons of other people as well.. Jeanne(she was wearing an adidas top and i thought she was sponsored or smth. ha! of course she wasnt, i was just being daft. d'oh!), Edwin(i didnt meet my twinny Sascha, t'was too mf'ing crowded), John fan(who was drunk), Louis, Jackie, Zee, Simon, Kimberly, Dan da man, Nigel, sk8ter boi James, Shiping, CJ(lookin good as usual), Glen(who was working for the adidas thang and got me a beer), Jasmine(who's looking reeeaallly good, girl!), Weihong, Chang, and probably some other people that i cant remember right now.

so yeahh. i didnt drink a sip of anythin else cept beer the entire night. i was 1)broke and 2)i didnt feel like drinking. so i felt kinda lame shaking my bon bon and i wasnt even remotely high. godd. the HUMILIATION!! aiee!! it rips thru me like a rabid dog thru a skanky rat. just kiddin. t'was alright. but fuck man, t'was disgustingly crowded man. last night reminded me why i stopped clubbing. *erghh*

anyhow. i saw some clothes at the adidas thang that i quite like. mainly the jackets. the model with the good model was wearing this tracksuit that was white and had gold stripes. bloody nice man.(and note to self: model had good body but wasnt good looking and tho he was cut, a lil too skinny) the tracksuit, i mean. the rest of the clothes were kinda rubbish, besides the other tracksuits and the caps. there was one item that looked like smth a philips factory worker would wear.

after the whole thang, the buncha us went to newton to eat supper. jeremy bught stingray and Mark 6 bought hokkien mee, and we chomped it all down. t'was good. mainly coz i hadnt eaten a single thing the entire day.

at the end of the night my feet were kinda achy coz i hadnt worn heels in bloody yonks and Sara DJ was sayin that she was gonna havta go see a chiropractor coz her feet hurt so much after wearing tall, spindly heels.

hmm. i actually had alot more to say on thursday, and alot to say yesterday as well, but now i've kinda lost that enthu vibe coz my com fucked up on me and didnt allow me to blog when i wanted to. bloody piece of crap.

oh yeahh. what i DO remember: El Paulo and Mark 6 told me last night that they read my blog. which is a pretty big surprise. and they say my blog's the most interesting blog they've read thus far!! whee!!! like, this is like, sooo exciting, im like, soooo gonna piss in my panties, this is like, soo awesome!! simply orgasmic, i tell you!!! no, seriously. they could be just humouring me tho.. hmm.. and with all those exclamation marks i felt like.. aye.. y'all know who uses alotta !!exclamation marks!! on his blog la yea. i mean, YEA!! but anyways, thanks loads El Paulo and Mark 6. what you cool guys said made my night.(cool coz you *ahemm* read me blog, ynoe ynoe)

anyways, my family dinner's on tonight. i've no idea if i've told y'all before, but my family doesnt do visiting on the first few days of cny. which is fucking STUPID coz they dont it coz my grandparents arent around anymore. as in, ynoe, they're in urns. so my family thinks that there's no point in doing visiting anymroe now that the elders are no longer arouns. cmon! what abt the spirit of cny? when family gets together? and i've only got one side, mf'ers! no fuckin consideration. grragghh!!!

so yeahh. they reckon its a smarter, more efficient thang to just have ONE dinner at a restaurant. no cooking involved, y'see. especially since i suspect that no one CAN cook.. see, future husbands should understand that if i ever set the kitchen on fire in the future, its not my fault! its in my genes, man! or lack of it.. i dont have the kitchen gene.

so. aunties do compact gossiping sessions and uncles do compact boasting sessions and we all ezchange ang pows and after 4 hours(max), ta-daa! we're done. no need to face each other til next jolly year.

woww. i love my family. this proves that we're true blue singaporeans, balls. i mean, where else can you find a family that even seeks to have a quick and efficient chinese new year celebration, right??

aye. added a few new blog links. check em out, y'all. adios, muchachos!!

listening to: Me, Myself And I by Beyonce.
Sara DJ!! next time you throw a party, you should burn this song and play it when we're all chillin out, sweetheart.