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Saturday, January 31, 2004 like, halle-fuckin-lujah. i havent been able to come online since tuesday coz my com's being all screwy. i swear, sometimes it takes after me so well that the resemblance is almost uncanny. just the bit that we're screwy, thats all. i dont look like a box or anything. i hope. anyways. recap! i havent exactly been doin much these days, and i went out with Sara DJ, Amanda, Sidney tinkerbell, Diana, El Paulo, Ivan, Bizhen and Mark 6(short for 6-fingered Mark so that i dont get mixed up with any Marks that'll pop up in my life later on). its cool. we chilled out. and pretty much literally since t'was raining like the god had a full bladder and hadnt pissed in a million years. very inconvenient, especially for El Paulo, Ivan and Diana, who had to go home. and then we went to play pool at potblack. El Paulo and Ivan came from home and met us there. i havent played pool in bloody yonks and it felt good to play!! seriously, y'all. and Bixhen, Mark 6 and i played Cut throat and t'was good, such fond memories.. Jon lee, Dasson, Rui and i zhaoing school to go to redhill, pre-warriors, to play pool.. everything was good, redhill's just a suckky place. and last night i wenta zouk with the same buncha people. Sara had free tix!! and being the el cheapo that i am i went. *chuckle* t'was some adidas fashion show thang + Jazzy Jeff was spinning. yea sure, he's cool coz he's collaborated with Will Smith before(think fresh price) but quite a few of his beats were pretty similar and.. he just dont play my kinda music, is all i can say. im sorry im not black. anyways! there was this one blonde ang moh model at the fashion show had a fuckin cut body man. ooh. yummy. and i love those lil indentations that guys get along the sides of their hips when they work out and they've got abs. i've no idea what you call those lil dents tho. but they're nice dents. haw haw haw. unfortunately(for us as well as the models), they were all rather poseur-ish(no natural cool-ness, yo) and they cant dance. *shudder* my eyes!! the lil kiddies breaking was real cool, i love em. there was this one kids central kid(trust me, i'd know, i watcha alotta telly) who was breaking too. cept that he cat really break. good-looking, but cant break. i love adidas stuff. and pink, too. so that would be pretty cool, pink adidas stuff. which i've already got coz Shujin bought me that pair of pink adidas grand prix sneakers for my birthday last year. he rocks!! *drool* more pink adidas stuff.. *slobber* its quite the case most times, ainnit? you got good-looking people who're too over-confident of having their looks so they slack in other areas and end up retards. most times, retards who cant blog and who dont know the proper use of full-stops. like.. exclamation-mark-blog-boy. you KNOW who im talkin abt! another hint: "my life revolves around HER! im so happy to have HER! what would i do without HER! i thank gor for bringing me HER!" *gag* and *choke*, maties. so yea. i shall name the people i was with last night so that i will always remember this momentous occasion. *snorx* anyways: Sara DJ, Amanda, Diana, Sidney, El Paulo, Jeremy, Gerald kor, Shuping, Tim, Gekpuay and Wilfred. and afterwards Dasson, Chai and Janmeety came down too. i saw tons and tons of other people as well.. Jeanne(she was wearing an adidas top and i thought she was sponsored or smth. ha! of course she wasnt, i was just being daft. d'oh!), Edwin(i didnt meet my twinny Sascha, t'was too mf'ing crowded), John fan(who was drunk), Louis, Jackie, Zee, Simon, Kimberly, Dan da man, Nigel, sk8ter boi James, Shiping, CJ(lookin good as usual), Glen(who was working for the adidas thang and got me a beer), Jasmine(who's looking reeeaallly good, girl!), Weihong, Chang, and probably some other people that i cant remember right now. so yeahh. i didnt drink a sip of anythin else cept beer the entire night. i was 1)broke and 2)i didnt feel like drinking. so i felt kinda lame shaking my bon bon and i wasnt even remotely high. godd. the HUMILIATION!! aiee!! it rips thru me like a rabid dog thru a skanky rat. just kiddin. t'was alright. but fuck man, t'was disgustingly crowded man. last night reminded me why i stopped clubbing. *erghh* anyhow. i saw some clothes at the adidas thang that i quite like. mainly the jackets. the model with the good model was wearing this tracksuit that was white and had gold stripes. bloody nice man.(and note to self: model had good body but wasnt good looking and tho he was cut, a lil too skinny) the tracksuit, i mean. the rest of the clothes were kinda rubbish, besides the other tracksuits and the caps. there was one item that looked like smth a philips factory worker would wear. after the whole thang, the buncha us went to newton to eat supper. jeremy bught stingray and Mark 6 bought hokkien mee, and we chomped it all down. t'was good. mainly coz i hadnt eaten a single thing the entire day. at the end of the night my feet were kinda achy coz i hadnt worn heels in bloody yonks and Sara DJ was sayin that she was gonna havta go see a chiropractor coz her feet hurt so much after wearing tall, spindly heels. hmm. i actually had alot more to say on thursday, and alot to say yesterday as well, but now i've kinda lost that enthu vibe coz my com fucked up on me and didnt allow me to blog when i wanted to. bloody piece of crap. oh yeahh. what i DO remember: El Paulo and Mark 6 told me last night that they read my blog. which is a pretty big surprise. and they say my blog's the most interesting blog they've read thus far!! whee!!! like, this is like, sooo exciting, im like, soooo gonna piss in my panties, this is like, soo awesome!! simply orgasmic, i tell you!!! no, seriously. they could be just humouring me tho.. hmm.. and with all those exclamation marks i felt like.. aye.. y'all know who uses alotta !!exclamation marks!! on his blog la yea. i mean, YEA!! but anyways, thanks loads El Paulo and Mark 6. what you cool guys said made my night.(cool coz you *ahemm* read me blog, ynoe ynoe) anyways, my family dinner's on tonight. i've no idea if i've told y'all before, but my family doesnt do visiting on the first few days of cny. which is fucking STUPID coz they dont it coz my grandparents arent around anymore. as in, ynoe, they're in urns. so my family thinks that there's no point in doing visiting anymroe now that the elders are no longer arouns. cmon! what abt the spirit of cny? when family gets together? and i've only got one side, mf'ers! no fuckin consideration. grragghh!!! so yeahh. they reckon its a smarter, more efficient thang to just have ONE dinner at a restaurant. no cooking involved, y'see. especially since i suspect that no one CAN cook.. see, future husbands should understand that if i ever set the kitchen on fire in the future, its not my fault! its in my genes, man! or lack of it.. i dont have the kitchen gene. so. aunties do compact gossiping sessions and uncles do compact boasting sessions and we all ezchange ang pows and after 4 hours(max), ta-daa! we're done. no need to face each other til next jolly year. woww. i love my family. this proves that we're true blue singaporeans, balls. i mean, where else can you find a family that even seeks to have a quick and efficient chinese new year celebration, right?? aye. added a few new blog links. check em out, y'all. adios, muchachos!! listening to: Me, Myself And I by Beyonce. Sara DJ!! next time you throw a party, you should burn this song and play it when we're all chillin out, sweetheart.
spat vitriol @ 5:49 PM
xxx
Tuesday, January 27, 2004 awful early now, ainnit? i just realised that excluding the 1 and a 1/2 hours i spent on the com just now, i've just spent 9 and a 1/2 straight hours watching tv. from 5.30pm all the way til now, 4.30am. and t'was such a remarkable development in my life that i just HAD to blog abt it. simply irresistable. just kiddin, y'all. pull those jaws back up. tho i did watch Ultraman on channel 8 just now, at around 3+am. they didnt have it in dual sound, so i had to endure it all in chinese. i absolutely hate watching jap and korean(if i watch korean shows at all) in chinese. its just.. wrong. its like watching a chinese show, and andy lau's lips are moving, but not in sync with the english words that are spilling outta his mouth. same thing with jap and korean shows. annoying. i wanna hear it in the original language, and i wanna see the lips move to the correct words. i'll read the subtitles, its cool, but i cannot tolerate the atrocities of watching it all in chinese. anyways. Ultraman rocks. its like power rangers, but more advanced. yea, i did like power rangers for awhile when it first came out, til the love story started getting in the way, and it started getting complicated, and the actors kept changing. but Ultraman's cool coz the monsters are better and more gruesomelooking(tho a lil stiff), and Ultraman's powers are funky, too. he's ol-skool, but i like.. i still want my inflatable Ultraman that my mom didnt buy for me abt half a year back. he would've been knee-high by now.(always would've been, actually) dammit. Ultraman!!!!!! 
monster featured in the movie: Queen Monera. rustic yet charming at the same time. anyhow.. lemme tell you abt two things that interest me. kinda. one of em is stealing mags. no, not completely new mags off the shelves of stores and bookstores. no, i mean the mags you find on the tables in the waiting corners at the dentist's, at the doc's, at the psy's, at cafes. i mean, yeahh. i know its weird. and i know at times the motivating factors that actually fuel me to kope those sometimes new and in good condition but most times tatty, old and dog-eared mags are 1)im a plain ol cheapskate 2)im getting mags for free! mags that actually cost 7bucks outside. [being cheapskate and being kiasu are 2 completely different mentalities altogether, aight.] 3)taking mags from these places aint exactly the same as stealing completely new mags. taking.. stealing.. see, big difference. 4)if i DO get caught taking a mag by one of the cafe people or whoever, i can just say, "oh dear me, i forgot that i was holding this old thing." of course, if its in my bag, i cant say that. what i can say is, "fuck. oops. sorry." and scuttle off. see. no police, no jail, no nothin. 5)i like reading new material, i dont care what form it comes in. 6)i get to pick from a whole range of mags, i take what i like, and leave whatever i dont behind. so there. im despicable. *sobz* oh, the tragedy of it all! i stab my heart and crumple to the floor, much in the same way Caesar did after uttering those utterly heart-wrenching words, "et tu, Brute?" brilliant performance, Caesar, dude. rawwkk on. *ahemm* so anyways. abt the other thing that 'interests' me.. i hadnt realised that it did til i was actually doing it. and the thing is this: being in a pharmacy and checking out all the stuff they've got. no, seriously. i think its just bloody fascinating. the stealing, oh hell, fuck, i mean.. taking mags thang, yea, sure, wadever. i do it coz i get free reading material and lalala.. its not exactly interesting, if ynoe wot i mean. im doing it all outta self-interest and self-gain and all that, not giving a shite abt the people who donated those mags and everything. but checking out stuff in a pharmacy!! its so exciting!! *claps hands* im not even bloody joking, i swear. and i dont even mean pharmacies like Guardian, i mean a proper pharmacy. a pharmacy in a hospital, or in a polyclinic. coz there, you get to see stuff thats normally concealed from the world that can be found in 7-11s, NTUCs, watsons, and the like. you get to see the many many types of moisturizers. moisturizers for oily skin, dry skin, super dry skin, eczema. you see vagina washes, for the tough ones to the fragile ones. you see toothbrushes, so many toothbrushes! toothbrushes for those with gum problems, those with teeth problems, those with braces, those with no teeth. you see baby products, and weird-shaped bottles meant for feeding the baby at strange positions(hence the weird shapes). you see all types of soaps and shampoos and conditioners. on and on.. ynoe what i mean. isnt it fascinating?? coz i think that it is. its like, most times you dont see this kinda stuff, you just see all the prettily-packaged bottles and tubes that companies like Garnier and L'oreal and what-have-you use, combining it with a lethal addition of words like "pore-reduging" and "skin-whitening" on the packaging so that people'll buy their products. but with stuff in a pharmacy, almost everything isnt prettily-packaged. its almost like they didnt much bother with the design of the tube or bottle it came in, mainly coz what they're tryna sell is the product itself, and not the packaging. so you've got this boring greyish-brown tube, which looks like crap. and a few words written on the back that tell you just exactly what the product does, with no false promises of giving you incredible flawless skin, or a vagina that smells of roses 24/7. also, there's so much more variety in a pharmacy than in a normal store. what's cool is that in a pharmacy, they offer what's sold in the stores outside, but they've got all these other brands and extensions of the typical brands out there as well. which sorta gives you an edge if yer looking for a really good moisturizer or smth, if you what i mean. its like, comparing new york to ohio. in the same country, but quite different, albeit with a few similarrities here and there. but mostly different. of course, the products pharmacies have can also lie, much like the stuff they sell outside. the thing is, most times, at least the pharmacy products arent offering false hope. if this product's gonna cure yer dandruff, its gonna do the job, tho it might be a matter of how well it does the job. but one other good thing is that since these products dont rely on packaging to sell themselves, the product's gotta be good or it wont fly off the shelf. so basically, most times, what you read on the back of the product is what you get, unlike stuff from outside stores. "pore-reducing"?? my foot la! pharmacy stuff.. good stuff. seriously. worth the money, as well. you think that skin-firming product from lancome or toner from biotherm is really gonna live up to the expections that you've got of it? most times, sadly, it doesnt. *shakes head* elementary, my dear watson. pharmacy stuff may not be as pretty, or may not come with a free lipstick, but it does the job. not impressed by the practical words at the back of the product? disgusted by the ugly packaging? come to me. i'll pretty up the damn thing for you. pahh. so go ahead. next time you fall ill, make that yer excuse and pop by a walk-in clinic at the nearest hospital, and get yerself that moisturiser at the pharmacy that actually really works and will make yer skin look younger than it actually is. and check out all the other funky shit they've got there, too. it'll blow yer mind away. like, whoah, dude. and its 5.45am already. beautiful. the sun'll be rising in 45 mins. also, as a last note, i'd just like tosay that listening to Sarah Mclachlan(if i spelt it right) songs early early in the morning is gorgeous. i love her songs, i love her voice, everything's great right now. everything's great when yer the only soul awake and conscious and merrily blogging away, and you got Sarah Mclachlan for company and crooning in yer ear, and yer tired, all at the same time. everything's great. simply fabulous, dahling.
spat vitriol @ 5:54 AM
xxx saturday was Sara DJ's party at one of the safra at tanah merah. my mom drove me there coz t'was raining and we got lost for 1 and a 1/2 hours. yes, we both've got a horrendous sense of direction, but combined with the place being awfully oolu-ated, it took us like, eons to get there. and t'was alright, i enjoyed myself, so t'was cool. as long as i had fun and my friends had fun, ynoe? most of the guys there were slimeballs tho, the only decent ones were the ones at the nye party. which means that t'was the barker guys, mainly. and Hau Geng. i sweared at a few of em and punched one of em a few times too, tho under the pretense that i was just doing it for fun. i remember early on before the party had even started i was kinda lightly hitting Hau Geng and he asked me, "remember yer new year resolution??" and that stopped me, i'd completely forgotten that my new year resolution was to be less physically abusive. oops. but the first thing i thought of wasnt that resolution, t'was da other one, where i told myself that i had to be less abusive towards Donovan. and i was thinking to myself, "how does Hau Geng know that??" but then i realised that i'd told him at the nye party. and i smiled, mainly coz Hau Geng remembered. how adorable! that fella's damn funny la seriously.. he was fuckin hilarious the entire night, doing all kinds of silly things. he was my source of entertainment whenever i found the party a lil boring.. holly good!!(watch The Last Samurai) Hau Geng.. clown of the party, dude!! anyways. i didnt drink much, just drank beer and vodka and stuff.. yeahh.. i got loads of piggybacks from people.. Gerald kor and i talked for bloody damn long when he FINALLY arrived at the party, and when we got back all the alcohol he'd brought was completely finished. we were like, "wtf?!?!" he'd even brought champagne, man, but we hadnt a chance to drink it. pissin shite. the bottle was empty when we came across it in the kitchen when we were searching the place for alcohol. oh yes, not only were the bottles of alcohol he'd brought finioished, the entire place didnt have a drop of alcohol anywhere. whoah. fuckin annoying, dudes. so the barker dudes(6-fingered Mark, El Paulo, Bizhen, Kenneth), Gerald kor, Amanda, Shufang(a school mate of mine from scgs a longgg time back) and mebbe one or two other people(i so cannot remember who they're right now), and me too, of course, went off to buy alcohol from the nearest 7-11. which was like, a 15-min drive out, thats how far out the safra bungalow place was. so we'd actually done a collection of moolah before we'd left the place, and we just bought whatever alcohol we could with the amount we had. and we took some stuff too, but that is of no consequence at the mo. especially since we didnt get caught, and i was the one guilty of taking the bulk of the stuff. in my defence, we were short of cash, and we needed mixers. like 7 bottles of 1.5litre coke. anyways. the rest went back with the stuff(in case someone called the coppers and we were like, there, with the stuff) and Kenneth, El Paulo, Bizhen and i ate prata. but at the prata shop opposite the 7-11, not the one next to it. and they're a pretty cool bunch, really. ad then we went back, and we didnt drink coz i think we didnt really feel like it anymore. and very few of us were awake. so we just kinda mooched around the place, playing taiti and bluff.. and even that got boring after awhile. so i suggested we played heart attack and later on, murderer. and 6-fingered Mark is really, REALLY bad at those games. i mean, he's nice and funny and all, but he just cant play heart attack or murderer, man. popr soul. its almost tragic. anyways. i was sposed to stay over but i didnt wanna in the end coz there wasnt any place to sleep but on the floor(Shuping and Sara were the organisers but even they had to sleep on the floor coz the beds and sofa were hogged. godd. so i left, along with Bizhen, 6-fingered Mark, Kenneth, Amanda, Gerald kor and Marcus. afterwards, only Amanda, Bizhen, Mark, Kenneth and i went to town to eat breakfast. and then we headed home. note: it is terrible to pack yer haversack to the brim with stuff when yer expecting to stay for 2 days, but then you dont stay any day at all, and you gotta truge off to town looking like some sorta idiotic moutaineer gone awry. christ. godd i was shagged. but by the time i got home t'was like 12pm or smth, and i only slept for 3 hours before i woke up and i met Donovan. that would be sunday evening. and we watched Last Samurai. for me, t'was my 2nd time watching it, and i still think that its bloody excellent. okayy.. mebbe im exaggerating(Chai thinks that i am, and he's watched it already).. t'was pretty excellent. i told Don that i'd watch it anytime, anywhere over Return Of The bloody King, and i mean it too. HONOUR!!!!!!!!!! ynoe. or smth really close to that. and i was really fuckin cranky and pissy on sunday, and just basically going all crazy, coz of lack of sleep. so i got like, pissed off with Donovan quite a few times, and once quite badly at lips too, and i feel pretty damn bad for it now coz he just took it all without saying anything. yepp, not a word. he's so tolerant, its incredible. he's as tolerant as im, well, intolerant. and patient as im impatient. and intelligent as im, hoho y'aint gonna git me here, intelligent. he's my darling baby boy!! and i love him for putting up with my shite. no, seriously. *smooshy hugz* anyways. so today.. lets see.. how productive was i today.. naught. nope. not productive. so there we go, a summary of wot's happened in the past few days. interesting, ainnit? i know it is. hooha!! en passant, Sara's a fabulous organiser. she's incredible, being so amazingly tolerant of people and their annoying ways. being tolerant of slimeballs, too. and ALWAYS THINKING FOR THE GREATER GOOD. i think thats what i admire most abt her. she'll sleep on the floor, get beat up, get puked on, it all doesnt matter, as long as everything goes smoothly. she's a philanthropist at heart, man. if she cant afford to give, she's willing to take the heat. this girl should be a member of parliment coz then she'd really care for the people. plus, she throws a mean party, planning out every single damn detail to death, making sure that nothing goes wrong and that even if it does, she's got back-up!! she's lovely, and i love her. SARA DJ!! i know yer reading this!! YOU ROCK, GIRL!!! next time you hold the mic and yer the emcee, i'll cheer, babe! waiting for Sara DJ to call me.. right abt.. now. toodle-oo!
spat vitriol @ 1:36 AM
xxx
Saturday, January 24, 2004 today was a good day. i went over to Diana's for dinner, where i wished her parents Happy New Year and gave her mom oranges and got an ang pow. Sara, Shuping, Tim, Shingz, Marcus, Wilfred, Gekpuay were there as well. and we all ate. i had 2 helpings. then we left, and i hugged Diana's mom real tight, and she laughed and said to everyone, "this one is the active one." *harx* then all of us(except for Diana, Shingz and Wilfred) left for El Paulo's place and we all squeezed into Tim's car and off we went. and at El PAulo's place t'was great, they had a tent set up and they had a 3-person band playing oldies and ol school classics and.. t'was great, man. t'was especially cool coz during chinese new year you've usually got all that loud dong-dong-chiang music and everything.. but this was so chillout, t'was awesome. did i mention that there was a buffet and the food was el excellento as well? i had 5 helpings. Shuping, Sara and i stuffed ourselves like there was no bloody tmr. im gonna need some exercise i swear. and soon. and afterwards we left and i thanked El Paulo's dad and his mom and shooke their hands and the mom gave me an ang pow earlier on too. and so when i left even tho i'd never ever met her before in my entire life i hugged her real tight as well coz everything was so great and she gave me an ang pow! i love it when people are generous. i love it even more when people are decide to swerve their generousity towards me. and Mrs Ong sure was generous. i might just.. love her.. anyways. i gotta get up early afterwards coz Sara's party bash at safra's on and there's gonna be so many people and so much alcohol it'll be awesome too. well, i hope. its good to go there with no expectations so that when its really good it'll blow yer mind away.. ynoe what im talkin abt here? wahaha! Donovan just told me that im the best girlfriend there is! muahaha. i am happy and satisfied.. for now! hahaha!! need sleep. *snorx* listening to: I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness. by the way, i also absolutely love "are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet. fuckin aweseom song, dudes.
spat vitriol @ 2:01 AM
xxx
Friday, January 23, 2004 Life robs us of ourselves, piece by small piece. What is eventually left is someone else. - John Updike okayy.. just reading The Treatment now.. and it strikes me. like, the proper psychological advice aside, being a psychiatrist/therapist simply allows you to impose yer ideas on yer patients, does it not? you tell em what you deem to be correct or appropriate, or at least what the textbook teaches you, tho over the years in yer career yer opinions and the textbook stuff have melded together such that yer unable to differentiate between em, and then you proceed to dish it all out to yer patients. and if yer patients are unwilling to take the advice, you force it on em, coz thats what yer sposed to do. yer sposed to do the 'right' thing, give em the 'right' advice, tho most times there's no right and/or wrong. the rights and wrongs are set up by how you think, how i think, and how society thinks. there're the rights and wrongs and there're the wrongs of the rights and the rights of the wrongs. am i in danger here? coz its frankly all very clear to me right now. oh godd. i gotta stop having conversations with myself.. but it makes life more colourful and interesting, no? unless you should seek to oppose me by telling me that having a one-way conversation is 'wrong'. i say, "PAHH!!" g'night, and sweet dreams, mon cherie.
spat vitriol @ 2:18 AM
xxx i went to the temple again today with my mom to pray to my grandma and grandad. my grandpa passed away when i as like, one. but i saw a picture of him once, with me on his knee(or mebbe i imagined that bit, but i dont think so) and he was a real skinny fella. my mom told me that she used to roll his fags for him, and that she was really good at it, too. now i know who to call when im broke and i dont have enough moolah to buy a whole pack and i gotta buy the tabacco and ciggie paper instead.. and you DO know that they're gonna jack up the price of fags to $12.50 soon? good thing i hardly ever smoke anymore. anyways. i was in the temple yesterday night as well, and t'was so damn crowded and smoky and i was thinking to myself, "omg wtf am i doing here im gonna smell of joss sticks at the end of it all omg.." even tho t'was my idea to go coz it seemed exciting to go pray at the temples at nght coz they're normally closed then. and then i happened to look up, up into the sky, and thru the haze of all that incense smoke, and the bustling of the people around me, and noise they were making as they prayed to their gods, i saw the stars. and i thought to myself, "this is beautiful." and t'was just one of those frozen moments you never ever lose in yer head, that you realise what is most important. and it was especially gorgeous coz all these people were around me, chattering away, and the smoke was getting in my eyes, that it just served to accentuate the silence and beauty of the heavens. you must think im joking, but im not. i'll never ever forget that moment. its a snapshot in my head. "hey, wish you were here!" like, ynoe, one of those postcards. and i think that buddhism's a beautiful thing too.. i really do. but thats just me, of course. and i think the teachings are smth you can really follow thru, and lead a great life using those teachings as yer guidelines.(even tho i dont) i also think that its fantastic that they dont try to force-feed or over-advertise their religion, or even attempt to invade other people's need for personal space and privacy with their religion. instead, they let it speak for themself, let their followers speak for their religion. respect, man. *thumps chest* in a temple, i cannot help but show some humility, coz the people in it are genuinely devoted. they arent there for any other reason but to pray, and they're a quiet, peacful bunch. meditation is good, and i wish i could sit still long enough to do it. mebbe one day i will, when im on Ritalin. no, im still not kidding. you get this feeling when yer in a temple that yer in a different world altogether. yer sheltered, and protected, and the outside world cant harm you with its pollution of false hope and promises, of sex and drugs, of the bad things, really. when yer in a temple, its a sanctuary. you feel at one with yerself, and i think thats most important. coz how can you feel connected to god/gods/goddesses if yer not even at peace with yerself? im a lil sad to say that i dont wanna call myself a buddhist. i reckon im too much of a sinner and too immature to let go of my hedonistic ways in order to become a buddhist right now. i frankly quite despise those people who pick up some religion in order to be cool/fit in with their peers but are still too irresponsible to let go with what comes part as parcel of being in that religion. its like, being muslim and eating meat, which is quite a heinous sin in the koran.(tho i do have friends who do that occasionally but coz they're my friends i just dont judge em. oh damn. im a biased piece of shite) but if i was willing to let go of these ways of.. pleasure, shall we put it.. i'd pick buddhism over any other religion any day, and also, in the temple i visited at today they've got the cutest lil nuns! no, seriously. they've been there for ages, and i always notice ema dn i think to myself, "they're so adorable!" coz they're like, 1.4+m tall, and they shave their heads and they wear the grey/blue nun buddhist shirt + pants combo and they're just abt the most adorable things ever. plus, they look eternally youthful, extremely youthful for their age, anyways. i see em every year(or mebbe a few more times than that) and they never seem to age. they're cute. anyWAY. i watched Silver Hawk and The Last Samurai with my mom today. Michelle Yeoh's the star of Silver Hawk(she IS silver hawk) and tho i have quite alotta respect for her most times i've no idea what bloody possessed her to make this film. is she running low on cash or smth? t'was.. really bad. crappy plot, crappy acting, crappy actors.. godd. wadever. to further elaborate on the plot would waste my time and bore you.(if you arent already, that is..) The Last Samurai, on the other hand, was pretty damn fucking good. alot better than Return Of The King, which was quite overhyped, if i do say so myself, and didnt live up to expectations by being overly draggy and booorrringgg. but The Last Samurai was good coz i went in with no expectations at all, and it pretty much blew my mind away. and i experienced a complexity of feelings while watching it.. i felt sad(i teared, and im not pmsing), i laughed, i felt pissed off.. t'was, in the words of one jappy dude, "jolly good". honour, or nothing, my friend. watch it. or regret it. coz its good. THE LAST SAMURAI!!!! and after that, when yer done, go home and download Duplex and watch that, too. [this has been a subliminal message.. you did not notice this message.. ooh laa laaaa hooogaaa chakaaa hoogaaa chakaaaa.. over and out. *static*] and.. thats abt all that i did today. and i watch American Idol 3 today, mainly coz its the first episode and they just show the losers who cant bloody sing auditioning and i just wanna see how bad they can get. i enjoy torturing myself at times, i suspect that i may be a tad masochistic. and when it got reeeally bad i switched to channel u for a few secs to ease my ears, and it wasnt much better coz they were showing some taiwanese idols(note the plural) concert and they were bloody damn bad as well, so i switched back to American Idol. and frankly, some of em sang better at American Idol than they did at the taiwanese idols concert. coz ynoe, quite alotta the girls rely on their sweetie-pie-im-so-damn-saccharine-you'll-get-diabetes-watching-me-perform thang going on and i just cant stand it coz they really cant bloody SING i just wanna throttle em to bloody death and watch as their tongues swell and their faces turn purple, rip off their ruffled-and-laced-candy-pie-outfits and then chuck their carcasses into the ocean, never to be found til a deep-sea marine exploration for sea slugs unearths their bones 30 years later with tatters of putrefying flesh still clinging to em miserable bones. or i could change the channel. which i did. tmr im going over to Diana's for dinner. her boyfriend Wilfred's gonna be there. everyone knows they're together, but she didnt tell us til now. like, gee whiz, thanks very much babe. d'oh! but heyy, if she's happy, we're all happy, right, guys? and thats it for today, y'all. or rather, yesterday. reading: The Treatment by Daniel Menaker.
spat vitriol @ 1:43 AM
xxx
Thursday, January 22, 2004 happy chinese new year, y'all. befillial to yer parents, study hard and get bloody good grades, dont fall outta love, hope you pick uup lotsa 1000 dollar bills on the road, and.. ynoe wot i mean. so i went to the beach today again with Sidney, Sara and Amanda. Sara gave me a strawberry-flavoured lollipop yesterday but she gave me another lollipop today(cherry flavour my absolute fav!! thanks darling)!! how sweet of her, she's a dear. Amanda sweetie gave me chiclets, too! yumm.. thanks, too! now i can smear tasteless gum all over the lift buttons. *snigger* just kiddin la, folks. i was seriously bloody shagged today and i fell asleep at the beach, and i tanned my back for like 1 and a 1/2 hours.. mebbe more. but the sun was playin peekaboo with the clouds today so t'was quite aight, tho when it did show it came on quite strong. much like a perv lurking in the murky recesses of a club. anyways. Sara left early coz she needed to do some stuff, and Sidney left with her, leaving Amanda and i to tan alone. we left at abt three, we sat at mac'sat harbourfront and ate for awhile, and then we went home. godd i was so damn shagged.. was pretty damn fucking cranky too. i've averaged abt only 3 hours of sleep each night for the past 5 nights. i fell asleep on the couch when i got home from sentosa and only woke up when my mom yelled at me to get my arse up and change coz we had a family dinner to go to. well, she yelled at me like a million times, but i was just too deep in slumber to hear her. so we went to dinner, and there were only three families there instead of the usual six coz this isnt the ACTUAL dinner, this is just a warm-up. or smth. wadever, its just a dinner. the actual reunion dinner thang will take place alot later. umm.. my family doesnt do the house visiting gig. we just get together at a dinner, exchange ang pows, talk and yap or wadever and get it over and done with in a couple of hours. such remarkable efficiency. so anyways. today's dinner was quite alright. my relatives were pretty alright, which eased things alot. they didnt ask too much abt school coz they dont know anything, which was even better. and i did discreet white lies when i had to, or simply avoided the topic. said stuff like, "aiya, school's so boring, dont talk abt school la." my cousin Alex and i bitched abt Return Of The King. he's 17 this year. and we talked abt boyfriend and girlfriends. and we talked abt school.. HIS school, mainly. he's in vjc now and i dont think he'll leave after the fitsr 3 months. we just talked and laughed and had fun so it wasnt too bad. we've got this way of just talking and going on and like, being in our own world and then when we laugh, we sound like maniacs coz we've got such loud and crazy laughs and then everyone else kinda feels excluded. which is too late by the time i notice coz when we stop cackling away i realise that the table's a tad quieter than t'was before. and my cousin Matthew was there too. his mom's so proud that he's passed out as an officer or.. wadever it is.. and he's getting a 1000 bucks per month now. his mom's proud of THAT, too. and i came the closest i've ever been in so many years to being humiliated tonight. my mom actually announced to the entire table saying, "Jing(thats me) says what a pity he's(Matthew) her cousin if not she'd fall for him." and i thought i'd heard wrongly, that she hadnt exactly SAID that, that i was just hearing things and she hadnt just embarrassed me. [even tho i must confess that i did tell her that some time before but STILL, you dont bloody announce it to the world, with my cousin right there, too.] so i asked her, "what did you say?" in case i heard wrongly, ynoe. and she merrily repeats the entire damn thing again. i was like, wtf!! i just concentrated on using my willpower to keep the blood from rushing to my cheeks. good god. so Matthew's good looking, intelligent, damn nice, charming and funny.. but fuck!! t'was just a passing remark then and even tho i DID have a crush on him when i was wayyy younger, i just look up to him now. he's like an older bro or smth, man. when i was younger and he bullied me(thats before he reformed and became a super nice guy) i feared him. then he turned nicer and i had a crush on him. and now that we've both grown up i just look up to him. capisce?? anyways. i ate so much today.. and i love love love yam dessert, i swear. its called on-ee. ynoe? but yeahh. its great. yumm. but only when its done well. but anyways. i can seriously forget abt staying 45kg after chinese new year balls. what else.. my aunt said that i was prettier(mebbe coz im tanned), that i looked more mature(mebbe coz i was wearing more clothes than i usually do, which was my mao tze dong tee, skirt and adidas sneakers), and she asked if i put on weight. bloody hell!! im fat!! even she noticed it!! but ahh.. wadever la.. i'll forget she said it soon enough.. and one of my uncles, i couldnt really hear what he was saying exactly, but i think he said that the coffee beans that a squirrel shits out are the best-tasting coffee beans. mm.. yeahh. im quite suer he said that. i mean, squirrel + shit = me perking up my ears to listen to what he's saying. and after dinner my other relatives were outside waiting for my 2 uncles to get the cars, but there was only me and my mom so i went to the carpark with her. so the 4 of us were walking to get the cars and i decided that i wanted to hug both my uncles. the first one to reach his car was my squirrel-shit-&-coffeebeans uncle. i was like, "HUG!!" and he opened his arms and i hugged his ribcage real tight and then i squeeeeezed like nobody's business and swayed him from side to side. my typical boa constricting hugs la ynoe. and when i was done my other uncle was my next target, and his back was towards me as he walked towards the car so i sprinted and then i leaped on him, strangling his neck from the side, and then i hugged him real tight too. this was the first time i was hugging this uncle and i think he was happy coz he giggled out loud. like, "hee hee hee hee HEE HEE!!" i thought t'was so adorable. he's like 50 years old and giggling coz his niece hugs/strangles him. and then my mom and i came home, i took a piss, she took a piss, and then we went to the temples to pray. first day of chinese new year and everything, ynoe. and then we came home at abt 1.30am. i am so bloody shagged. my mom and i are gonna catch two movies tmr(remember, we dont go visiting, we've only got the dinner thang, and i think thats on the 31st or smth). i'll tell you how it goes. christ. i need sleep. sleep is good. god. sleep. reading: Phineas Gage- A Gruesome But True Story About Brain Science by John Fleischman listening to: Red-Blooded Woman by Kylie Minogue.
spat vitriol @ 3:26 AM
xxx
Wednesday, January 21, 2004 i just got off the phone with Sara Dj again. i love talking to her i swear. anyways. i bumped into these people today(in chronological order): Chups at harbourfront. i was so happy to see her! i hugged her to tight. Zee at far east. told her some things which i shouldnt have. dammit. ahh.. wadever. 2 of my scgs juniors. i'd forgotten one of their names, and she was in band with me. wait.. did i even know her name?? oh wait. i did. but i've forgotten it now. Ollie at taka. i didnt even see her, im such a blind bat, Erwin had to point out to me that she was waving at me. Cherie at nydc at wheelock. im afraid i was quite cursory with my greetings. i did the blind bat thing again by accident and erwin had to point out that she was waving at me. d'oh, maddie. Ray at cheers at cine. my superteen brudda. always a welcome sight to see him. turns out he's trotting off to melbourne to study on sunday night. i was like, omg! i got is email. here it is in case i forget: element_shock2@hotmail.com. now dont any of you harrass him, y'hear?? anyways. wenta sentosa today with Sara. Shuping and Jinrong were there too. im getting quite tanned.. now i just gotta tan the back of legs, my bum and my boobs. well, as much as possible without families complaining to the guv'ment abt the indecent exposure of MY body. sheesh. and on the bus ride out from sentosa to harbourfront the 4 of us got into a lil debate.(by the way they've got the most adorable pink scaffolding up at harbourfront. no doubt, its part of the construction site.. but its so cute, really) Sara and Jinrong taking one side, with me and Shuping as the opposition. simple enough topic, really. ynoe that song by Kelis called Milkshake? well. Sara&Jinrong thought it referred to breast milk, while Shuping and i thought it referred to cunt juice. largely entertaining, especially when i yelled out on the bus to make my point, "its abt the puss,y man!" but there were only 3 other people on the bus anyway, so who cares. this is the true singaporean spirit. getting into fierce debates abt milkshakes and everything. we never did reach a proper conclusion, even after all that squabbling- no, sorry- debating. and afterwards i rushed home, bathed and changed, and then went to town to meet Erwin. we ate at NYDC(he had a voucher, plus he'd forgotten to bring out money) and then we caught Cheaper By The Dozen. i felt quite detached from the movie. wadever. its sposed to be a comedy. well, its better than Elf. me reckons that any damn show is better than Elf. gimme a porno flick where the male lead's 80 years old and cant get it up and the female lead's a 90-year-old whore with saggy tits, and both of em have got cellulite and loose flabs of skin flopping abt everywhere and they're just going at it like mad bloody donkeys and it'd STILL be better than Elf. in fact, it'd be pretty damn entertaining. godd. just had a talk with my mom. the future looks pretty bleak. erghh. life is a BITCH. i really fucking hate it when it looks like there's completely no hope. time i got around to rectifying that, huh? oh godd. i've only had two hours of sleep and i've been out the entire day. and i havent even had proper sleep the past, what, 4 days? or smth. and im going tanning AGAIN later on. wow. hardcore, man. xxx. and last night i got really freaked out. i've got this furry orange cushion on my bed and while i was sleeping, but then i got up, and the damn furry orange cushion was right next to my face when i opened my eyes. and in the dark it looked just like a bloody head with all that fuzz passing off as its hair, and i bloody freaked out. i gave this low gurgle, before i realised that i'd placed the cushion where t'was before i fell asleep. silly me. it would've been fuckin freaky if it'd have moved, tho. fuckk. time for sleep. i am one sleep-deprived piece of shite. listening to: Heaven by DJ Sammi. the song exists, Sara. including the candlelight versh, aight.
spat vitriol @ 2:07 AM
xxx
Tuesday, January 20, 2004 i just got off the phone with Sara DJ. i suddenly felt the urge to go to sentosa to further destroy my skin. so we talked and i found out that she was already planning to go there.. alone.. but err.. anyways. so yeahh. we're going together later today. good has triumphed over evil!! hooha! *triumph* or smth. ynoe, i look pretty damn tanned at night, but when its daylight i just look.. normal. its like looking at stuff thru sunglasses, but its only nightglasses. dammit!! i wanna look all bronzey and golden. please i dont wanna havta resort to an artificial tan noo mommyy i dont wanna noo.. actually, my mom got pretty damn pissed off when i just told her that i was going tanning later on. in approximately 6 hours and 14 mins i'll be at sentosa. so yea. coz im not concentrating on more important matters and coz i've practically called sentosa my bloody 2nd home now(and my mom gets real touchy when im not physically at home a minimum set of hours each day. frankly, i dont know what the minimum set of hours are) AND also coz i went to the doc's today for my rash and going tanning would just, well, piss my rash off even more. so my mom just ranted and raved while i trotted around the house washing my bikini and packing my bag and stuff. mothers. tsk tsk. anyways. the main purpose of me actually typing up this entry again was coz i'd remembered this other bit from my previous entry. that i hadnt put in. coz i forgot to put it in while re-blogging. coz my memory's so bad. so ANY fucking WAY, what i remembered was that while watching Payback, i was oddly moved by one part. and t'was a corny part, too. and its directed by John Woo, im not sposed to bloody feel moved by a John Woo film, ynoe? its anathema to feel touched/sad/moved/any-girly-feeling during a John Woo film, man. so yeahh. the bit in the show went kinda like this. dont quote me, coz im not quoting em. Affleck says, "if i knew that we wouldnt have a future, would i still want us to be together?" or smth like that. i could quote him yesterday, i cant do it today. and so Thurman replies, all dovey-eyed, "life's all abt experiences. i wouldnt change it for anything." or wadever, smth along those lines. and then they kinda smile each other til a split second later Affleck, the dude afflicted with a serious case of ADHD(i reckon), gets distracted by smth and he pops off to check it out. i mean, seriously. he's abt to make out with her, and he gets distracted. okayy, so the thang that distracted could save his life later on, but wadahell. ADHD man. somebody needs some Ritalinnnnnnnn n n n nn nnn n n nn n. just felt like doing that. dont it look pretty? *drool* dont bloody aLtErNaTe Cap, split u p a ll ye r w ord s so th a t y o u c an b e r e a l ly f uc k in g f u n ky, m a n. so. yeahh. thats what i switched on my com, waited for everything to settle, logged on, clicked on ie, waited for the mf'ing page to load.. just to mention that lil bit from Paycheck. err. why did i feel oddly moved by that 30 second bit again?? at the time t'was like, "woww. this is so amazing. its so insightful. i could use this information for the rest of my love life." and yea i could, its just that its a John Woo film(i cant get over the fact that i was BLOODY MOVED BY A JOHN WOO FILM FOR CHRIST'S SAKES HAVE I GONE BLOODY MAD) and i realise(now that i've taken off the rose-tinted speccies) that it wasnt exactly that insightful or anything, t'was just my hormones chattering away. speaking of which, my period came today. yeahh. bloody(mind the pun) predictable. its good that it is, i'll know when im pregnant in the future and i'll save 10 bucks. HELL YEAHH!!!! good ol reliable menstruations! and saving moolah from not having to buy pregnancy kits!! this is the FUTURE!!!! so anyways. while i was packing my bag i was gonna put in my bottle of deodorant. its the Impulse ones. cheap and good. and it comes in a long, slim, aerosol can. not to be confused with whipped cream, which has twice the width and quadraple the weight. yea. anyWAY. i decide to play head cheerleader for awhile. rah rah rahh!! we love maddie!!! whooooooooo~! *cheer* so im throwing and flipping the can up in the air so that it spins and twirls before i catch it. i try to make sure that i dont just catch it any-o-how, i wanna catch it so that the can lands nicely lengthwise in my palm. im head cheerleader, this is my baton, and i gotta catch it right or my great, bright, beaming, shiny future as a cheerleader for the NFL goes down the drain. or so i imagine. of course, i drop the bloody can quite a few times on the floor and it gets dented here and there. i know for sure that after the 5th time i drop it the neighbuors who stay below me are gonna complain(to who?). so i practise on the bed instead so that the noise is cuhioned by my mattress. im a great cheerleader!!(or so i imagine) and then when i reckon im pro enough to start walking around and twirling the damn thing around with the aid of the mattress, i do it. throw it up and thunk!! it hits the bloody floor. as bloody expected. i pick it up and i wanna fling it up into the air again. heyy! head cheerleaders never give up twirling their batons, right? damn that line was dripping with sexual innuendo. arr, semantics, schmantics. and so i pick up the can and.. why, what's this??.. the deodorant's fizzing out from under the can and dripping down the sides. and there's this hissing sound, like air escaping. well, duhh. i just kinda look at it, coz this has never happened before. and im wondering, "wow! is this thing gonna keep fizzing til everything runs dry?" but i notice that after awhile the deodorant liquid stops trickling out, even tho the hissing noise continues. *pssssssssssssh* did i say that the can was really near my face while all this was happening? cwhat with me putting the can to my ear to listen to the hissing and to examine the liquid dripping out and all. then this thought hit me. mebbe i could inhale the gas that was escaping!! i'd get high and it'd be fuckin awesome, dude!!! but of course, im not an american. so i check the can first, but it doesnt label what they use to pressurize the can with. tho they did say not to puncture the can, or to breathe the stuff inside coz its harmful and could even be fatal. hot damn! i say, we got rights!! i wanna KNOW what they use to pressurize the can with! i wanna know what im spraying into my armpit every time i.. spray my armpit!! they're witholding information from the public!! its a fuckin conspiracy, i tell you!!! what's all this 'harmful and fatal' crap?? give us the real deal, mofos!!! the reeeeeal deeeeal!!! aieee!!! and since they also didnt say what kinda gas they used or wadever, i chose not to inhale the stuff escaping from the can. could be noxious, gaseous, mind-invading, body-controlling aliens, ynoe. *x-files theme song.. hit it!* but also coz they did warn us not to inhale the stuff, i didnt. i do believe the key word here was "fatal". i mean, life's a bitch and then you die, but i figure: life aint being too bitchy to me right now, ynoe? why kill myself coz i didnt read the FINE PRINT?(this msg also applies to people applying for insurance policies) and also, like i said, im not an american. *snigger* ahemm. *cough* so yeahh.. i think the gas got to me, tho, a lil bit. felt a tad light-headed for awhile after that. and mebbe its still affecting me. could be the sleep deprication, too. i mean, what's this here? me going on abt aliens and all? oh good lord above. its 5 fuckin 10 am now. and why does this entry have so many 'fuck's in it? lordy lordy lord. and i gotta be up and outta bed at 9am if i wanna meet Sara DJ in time. unless i dont.. heheheh.. but NO! i must be on time! master will not like it if maddie is late. but maddie needs sleep.. master will not be happy! so will maddie if you do not get enough sleep, cherise. no, i resist you! you're bad! master will not like me anymore.. *anguished sobs* oh fob off you two. tricksy bastards. i really am going mad. 5.16am now. christ. im screwed. i gotta meet Sara DJ at 10.30am. and then i gotta go home and bathe and everything, and then i gotta meet Erwin in town at 6pm. listening to: Star 69 by Fatboy Slim. still reading: Bodies by Jed Mercurio. [i think its gonna take me awhile to finish this one. so many medical terms, cherise. Mercurio marks the terms and then gives the explanations at the bottm of the page, but i keep forgetting em. ABG? GTN infusion? DIC? FDPs? im reading books for leisure, ynoe? not so i can be a houseman at the end of it all. [houseman means, by the way, "the most junior medical grade- a doctor in his or her first year of practice"] instead, the many many terms distract me from the true plot of it all. kinda like what shakespeare's works do to me.[im sorry, im a neanderthal, but shakespeare's fancy language kinda pisses me off.] a few are okay, but scattering em thru the pages like acne on a pubescent teen can be a tad annoying.(like acne) i know that after awhile i'll simply fuck the medical terms. thankfully, from a scan of the pages in the book, as the book progresses, the number of terms are in inverse proportion to the number of pages.] sleep-time. *snorx*
spat vitriol @ 5:51 AM
xxx i blogged last night but then my connexion screwed up and my entry aint showing. here's to re-blogging. cheers. so anyways. i went out with Donovan on saturday night and it felt REALLY good seeing him after, well, a week. not long, i realise, but i've started pmsing(if you havent realised by now) and i was getting all paranoid(hopefully over nothing) and just basically freaking out. meeting Don soothed my frazzled nerves somewhat. he's like my cuppa chamomile tea & honey. tee hee hee. my knight in shining armour. tee hee hee. *giggle* *bLuSh* *GiGgLe* *LoOk ShY* [apologies, my friends. i just had to see for myself what moronic imbeciles find so appealing abt typing in aLtErNaTe CaPs. and i still dont see why they do it. its time-consuming and it strains the eye to read the words! *squint* christ.] oh dear. i just had a shot of deja vu. i think i've called Donovan another drink before. was it milk? or milo? i thnk t'was milk. but wadever it is, he's my cuppa chamomile tea & honey now. anyways. we caught Paycheck and then we headed home. work and all for him the next day and everything. and Shujin!! you lied to me! Ben Affleck didnt bloody die!! so anyways. while watching Paycheck, i just had flashbacks of so many other movies. no, seriously. its like, Paycheck's got an original plot, but the scenes were culled from other movies. like Minority Report. and the trailer for Spiderman 2. and other John Woo movies.(paycheck's directed by John Woo) and other movies too la, of course, cept that my degenerate memory cant exactly remember em all. and i gotta agree with this one article i read in the newspapers some time back.. Woo does make Uma Thurman's nose look even larger than life in the movie. ha! ha! "larger than life"!! geddit?! ha! ha!! so yeahh. after Paycheck Donovan and i headed home. to our respective homes. *cough* and i hadnt realised til Paycheck day that he's got such straight teeth. and he's never worn braces!! bloody genes. curses! i am not in dire need of braces myself, i can still chew food and swallow em without half of it dropping outta my mouth, i dont have a speech impediment, or anything. but still! i dont believe that his teeth are that straight. i shall give em a closer examination the next time i meet him.. with my tongue. rarr. [talking abt Donovan, im just checking my email now and somebody called Donovan Santos is offering me valium. nice.] so anyways. i cancelled plans to meet Kum today coz i went to the doc to get my rashes checked out coz they're majorly pissing me off, man. and the doctor has got the dreamiest eyes. they were green. he could be hindu. [Chand's hindu and he's got the most bloody amazing eyes. they turn from green to yellow to brown and prbably even violet, all according to the weather and the light! isnt that fuckin awesome?? he's like a walking sea monkey!! i want eyes like those! i'd have so much fun just standing in fronta the mirror all day.] i couldnt see the rest of the doc's face tho coza the masks the medical pple're all wearing in clinics now. bird flu.. sars.. whjat have you.. but for all i know he's got terrible teeth(yes, teeth) and stinky breath and a crooked nose(tho i doubt it coz you can see the shape of the nose under the flimsy mask) and lotsa acne on his cheeks. owell. he seemed nice enough, tho he was quite an idiot afterwards. i told him abt my rashes, how they itch, how i get up to scratch at em like a wild, rabid dog. how my rashes were caused when i used the hair removal cream. i'd even brought down the bottle of hair removal cream for his perusal. he was cool thru all these bits. then he screwed up the doctor-perfect image i had of him by saying a few imbecilic things. first) my mom was just curious to find out if the doctor might know what the active ingredient was that caused my rash. he said, "well.. you can never be sure.." i thought he'd just stop right there. thought wrong! then he picked up the bottle and, looking at it, continued, "there's alot of alkalis in here.. calcium hydroxide, potassium hydroxide.. alcohol, water.. there's calcium thioglycate, sodium urea, anthemis nobilis, fruit extract, flower oil.. well, you never know which one it is." fuck! if you dont know, dont fuckin say anything! why list down all the bloody ingredients for me? i can bloody read, mister!! and it would've done to just say that mebbe t'was the strong alkalis or the alcohol that were the main culprits, but did he havta go on listing em ALL?? and even naming the unneceesary, innocent ones like the fruit extract and flower oil? even water?? good godd. i just rolled my eyes at the nurse as the doc went on and on. i think he was having fun rolling the words off his tongue. man. second) he'd glanced at the hot pink bottle i'd placed on the desk, and told him soon after, "i used this hair removal cream and thats when the rash started." now, he's either bloody inattentive or just bloody daft, coz he asked me(while scribbling away busily at his lil doctor's pad), "so, what did you use this cream for?" and im like thinking, "duh! i told you already! and besides, the bloody bottle's right in yer face, dude!" but i just said slowly(so that he might, ynoe, understanddddd meeeee betterrrrrr), in a tone that indicated what i was thinking, "for remoooovingggg bodyyyy haaaaaairrrr.." third) and immediately after he asked me, "do you have alot of body hair?" and im like thinking, "wtf! does it fucking matter if im as hairless as a baby's butt or as hairy as Chewbacca?! what, you gona gimme hormone therapy if im too hairy, is that it?? this fella obviously does not deal with the ladieez." but of course, im polite, i've got manners, i just said, "yes." instead of bashing him in the head repeatedly with the 600-page book i had in my hands. anger management.. *sighh* i got my medicine and everything now, just waiting for it to work. speaking of anger management.. when my mom came home just now she just kept nagging at me. i was writing some stuff with one of those old-fashioned pencils. sometimes writing with one of those makes me feel homey. so anyways. my mom hadnt even taken off her shoes and she was already nagging at me. commanding me to do this and that. in my head it was all just, "bzz.. bZzzZZZ.. BZZZ BZZZ BZZZZ!!!!!" and i was like, "stop nagging already!!" but she just kept on and on. i told her that i was meeting Erwin tmr and she was like, "why?!" and the first thought that poops into my head is, "godd! why must she shout like that? and why cant i meet my friends?? im not doing anything at home anyway!" so i answer her by telling her, "to have sex la!!" so that she'll shut up coz she knows it isnt true.(rest easy, y'all, that i am most definitely not engaging in coitus with Erwin) and then she went to the loo and finally ceased her yapping, but she'd already riled me up so that i drummed the wooden pencil on the table edge rapidly for awhile before angrily grabbing each end and then breaking the damn thing in half. well, sorta half. t'was more like 60-40. i felt better immediately. i think the pencil must've been quite old, it snapped rather easily. i threw the pencil ends outta the window that was facing the carpark. i hope it hit a car and left lead marks on someone's newly-waxed vehicle. so anyways, i borrowed 6 more books today, and i am content. if only i could read my life away. im a wastrel, i know. reading: Bodies by Jed Mercurio. here's the synopsis: [inside every hospital exists a world no outsider has been allowed to see, not even the idealistic young man who has come to start a career in medicine. what awaits him is a life of institutionalised cynicism, pitch-black humour and cisceral sex, and it soon changes him more terribly than he could ever have feared. written by a former doctor, Bodies is a novel of almost unbearable power and intensity. it is also a moving portrait of the loss of innocence, the healing power of sexual love, and of a young man's quest for redemption in a world that's lost its sense of right and wrong.] well. screw the 2nd paragraph, really. its the first bit that sounds exciting. the writing style seems quite alright at first glance too. en passant, Marian Keyes(the author whose book i was last reading) is irish. The Corrs are irish. Westlife is irish. Jordan from Crossing Jordan(the show revolves around Jordan, a medical examiner. or coroner, really) is irish. U2 is irish. leprechauns are irish. question: who's the odd one out? answer: Westlife. coz they arent good at what they do. leprachauns, on the other hand, are absolute marvels with their rainbows and lil pots of gold. how quaint.
spat vitriol @ 1:02 AM
xxx
Sunday, January 18, 2004 i was on the phone with Amanda last night, and we were talking. and then i hung up on her, telling her that i was tired, when actually i just wanted to have a good cry. to me, a good cry is dropping more than 2 tears from yer eyes. i dropped.. abt 6 tears altgether i think. well, some of em kept getting suckked back into my eyes so that kinda ruined the number-of-tears record i had going on. well. i was just crying(or 'dropping tears', really) over everything and nothing, ynoe. pmsy mood la. i even teared over Charmed last wednesday. and i teared over this bit in the book i was reading, and it wasnt even fucking sad or anythin. even cried over a song last night i heard on the radio. good bloody godd. will my period just come already. sheesh. anyways. after my 'cry', i switched on my phone and realised that Chai had called me. i called him back, and he asked me to go down to his place. t'was.. lets see.. after hanging up the phone, after merrily tearing away, t'was abt 3am. i asked him, "are you MAD??" and apparantly he was quite serious coz Sundeep, Dasson, Janmeet, Kensuke, Kash, Jobei and Gerrad were there already. Joyce was there too, but she'd left by the time i got down. they were just intending to drink and chill out. i asked him how i was gonna get down(frankly, i thought Chai would say he'd come get me) and he said i should go down by cab. then i said that i didnt have enough moolah and he said they'd pay. cool. so i went down. the fare came up to abt 14 bucks. i paid 5, Janmeet paid the rest. he's my best friend!(and Chai too, of course) and yada yada.. Dasson made us all play Tiger, and then we played and i drank vodka and tequila(Chai didnt have any bloody lemons or salt and no sprite) and i got quite high. and i started talking nonsense. and i was joyfully gibbering away and then laughing to myself. tho of course i hadnt realised it at the time, Janmeet told me i was giggling away like a madwoman. anyways. after drinking we went up to Chai's place. only Janmeet, Dasson, Chai, Sundeep, Kensuke and i were left. we went up and Sundeep, Dasson and i headed straight for the kitchen to take control.(limited chairs, y'see) Dasson was quite drunk(tho he can walk and everythin) and he was talking alotta nonsense and swearing alot. well, quite like me when im high actually, just that he's like, worse. then everyone came into the kitchen and everyone got a seat, and then i started feeling really fucking hungry. i was like a famished, ravenous dog that didnt have an owner and hadnt eaten a squirrel in 5 days. so i ate(in chronological order within half an hour): +5 pieces of bread(3 had chunks of margerine on it, the other 2 had untoasted garlic spread) +a ridiculously small bowl of cereal and milk +2 fried eggs, and 1 fried egg yolk that Sundeep didnt want +4 rashers of bacon +scrambled eggs. i made Chai cook em. the person who ate the amout closest to what i ate was Sundeep, who had 2 pieces of bread, 1 fried egg(minus the yolk coz he gave it to me), 2 rashers of bacon, and a lil scrambled egg. but i mean, i seriously didnt thnk t'was that big a breakfast or anythin, really. was it?? anyways. after that breakfast we all went to Chai's room and slopped all over the place and fell asleep. and then i came home at 1pm, and slept some more. and now im gonna go and bathe so that i can meet Donovan in town at 8.30pm. ciao. reading: Angels by Marian Keyes.
spat vitriol @ 7:01 PM
xxx
Saturday, January 17, 2004 im home now. arent i early? and its only eight thirty! i went to sentosa with Sara and Sidney. everything was set and we were sposed to meet up at 10am today(Sara and i agreed that meeting up at 12.15pm is not conducive to getting ourselves nice and toasty tanned). then Sara changed the meeting time to 11am. and then Sidney and i arrive at 11.15am, but she's at the bus interchange and im at the mrt, and we both dont bloody know that we're so damn near(and so far) each other. and Sara.. Sara's a real fashionable chick, arrving at 12.30pm, later than we met up yesterday. good god. but she made it up to us by buying Sidney and i lychee drinks. very refreshing. yumm. and only one dollar!! wah cheap cheap cheap!! cheep cheep cheep!! and after our sentosa outing, we went to eat tom yam noodles at the same hawker centre. Sidney is fucking hardcore. two huge heaps of bloody chili man. i didnt put in any chili at all and t'was already hot. man. hardcore. xxx. haha.. and i bumped into darling Edna at the mrt station. i wasnt wearing my specs or contacts and i was as blind as a bloody bat that doesnt even have good sonar hearing, so of course t'was her who spotted me first. she called my name, and my head just kinda swivelled towards the direction of ehr voice. coz, ynoe, i cant bloody see, yarr. we talked awhile and then she said, "ohh, so t'was you i saw on the escalator who had nice legs!" i was very flattered. [thankew darlin!] considering that i've got rashes on my arms. and legs. coza that FUCKING hair removal cream i used 2 days ago. fucking hell. seriously. it itches. bad. i wake up at night to scratch, man. and at a few small parts i've even sorta scratched a lil of the top layer of the skin of. what's it called.. the dermis? what? but yeahh.. ynoe what i mean. i used moisturizers and calamine lotions, but it'd only helped for a few hours before it'd start itching again. for the whole of yesterday night i looked like i'd dipped myself in bloody liquid paper, my arms and legs were covered with calamine lotion. i thought it looked quite funky, actually. *scratchscratch* now i know how flea-ridden dogs feel like. ANYWAYS. well. we got tanned today. Sidney's super duper dark now(as usual), im *kinda* alright-ish tanned(tho of course i'l never be satisfied with my tan at the rate im going) and Sara's just complaning coz she thinks she's still too fair. she wants to be, i quote her, "black". tho Sidney did correct her and said "brown". *snorx* [hello, Sara Ann Chia!!] but anyways. i brought two books with me to the beach today, in case i finished one and i then i wouldnt have anything else to reda, and that'd be really tragic, wouldnt it? thanks to Sara making such a fashionable entrance this morning i managed to complete Dark Visions. and now im halfway thru Shopaholic Takes Manhattan. i thought t'was a lil ironic.. im on my way to the beach and im reading horror stories. *harx* anyhow. Sidney and Sara are in town now. i came home to bathe, thought i'd join em after i did. but now im too lazy, and besides, Sara's gotta leave for home before 12am. so i say, wadahey, just screw it and stay home. and cheeeeeel, man. we beeeee cheeeeeeelinnnnnnnn. or just me, really. a few of the reasons im staying home is coz 1)air-con's too comfortable 2)even tho my rashes arent exactly extremely visible to the naked eye(tho it is to a discerning one), i wanna stay home and slather cream on em and let em heal. also so that if an a bad itch comes along i can go into a scratching frenzy in the sanctity of my own home 3)the movie Lost Voyage is on tonight on channel i. looks like a not-so-good horror flick. but i still wanna watch it anyways. horror flicks appeal to me quite strongly, i've no idea why. and i havent been getting much sleep the past 2 days. i've no idea if its somehow related to my rash, but somehow i just dont feel sleepy at all. the night before, i had 45mins of sleep. last night, i had 4 hours. wadever. okayy. i need some green tea. and kueh lapis. my mom bought a whole big box of it. i've only eaten the tom yam noodles the entire day today.. im allowed to snack a lil! reading: Shopaholic Takes Manhattan by Sophie Kinsella.
spat vitriol @ 8:59 PM
xxx i went to sentosa today with Sara DJ. t'was cool with just the two of us.(think of that song, y'all! ynoe which one im talkin abt..) we got tanned but our tans were kinda uneven so we're gonna go again afterwards. we were sposed to meet at 11.30am, but in the end we were both late(tho admittedly i arrived 15 mins after she did) and we finally met up at abt 12.15pm. oops. so yeahh. we're going tanning again later today coz i cant make it any other day next week. bummer. but yeahh so hopefully we'll get really really tanned later on. if we STILL dont get our tan i think that we might just go on sunday again. goddamn. hardcore balls. goddamn. im sick of the word 'tanned'. is there a subsitute i can use, anybody? anyways. after that she went to town to meet Shuping(i didnt go coz i cant stand facing town when im dirty, oily, and i've got saltwater in my hair. saltwater that possibly contains traces of urine coz people piss in it all the time. ahh.. to only have waters as clear as the maldives or the mauritius, so that when somebody takes a piss in the water you can lay a whopping huge fine on their ugly lil heads for polluting the water. okayy. so everyone probably takes a piss in the sea now and then, but still.. *grumble* yea so Sara went off to town(in her hot tuna red & orange berms and her huge black nike duffel bag. so cute!) and i went to compassvale(which is in, umm, sengkang) to meet my mom. wanted to return my library books(that were in my mom's car) and borrow some more new ones. which i did. and good bloody godd i took a direct bus from the harbourfront interchange to the sengkang interchange, which was a 1 and a 1/2 hour long journey. which would've been fine, cept that the damn bus was cold as hell(and everyone knows that im quite reptilian and that my body temperature flunctuates accordingly to outside temperatures. ohh you didnt know that? well now y'do) and i was shivering like a mf'er. and i'd drunk half a litre of water before i'd gotten onto the bus coz i was dehydrated from all that tanning. bad fucking move, maddie. i So needed to take a goddamn piss but i couldnt, yea, coz i was on the bus. oh hell. i swear i nearly pissed in my pretty turquoise tyr shorts. anyways. gonna sleep soon. gotta wake up bleeding early later on. like, 8am, yarr. christ. listening to: Rock With You by Ashanti. [the beach house versh. its yummy.] reading: Dark Visions by Stephen King, George R. R. Martin & Dan Simmons.
spat vitriol @ 12:54 AM
xxx
Friday, January 16, 2004 yo y'all. i just got back from Chai's. the day started off with me waking up at 3pm and then lazily washing my hair. i then proceeded to idly use hair removal cream to get rid of my leg hair while watching cartoons at the same time. and then i still had so much time left before dinner at Chai's place that i did my arm hair, too. yeahh, i admit it, i am one hairy sonofabitch. i quite hate(does "quite hate" = "strongly dislike"??) being hairy. it used to be a time-consuming and distasteful job removing body hair, but now that im used to it, its just bloody time-consuming. annoying annoying. when i grow up(or get more money. whichever comes first), im gonna 1)laser off every single strand of hair on my body that isnt on my head. okayy.. i'll leave a lil down there for protection. 2)get boob implants. 3)mebbe saw off my jaw. just a thought, really. it'll hurt like a bitch and wont even be worth the problems that it might cause in the future. so, most probably not. the jaw is here to stay. [oh darnnit.] anyhow. this new hair removal cream i bought doesnt have that disgusting smell, instead it smells like raspberries and peaches!!(tho if you take a deep enough whiff you can detect a lil of that usual removal hair cream smell) well, thats what its sposed to smell like, anyways. they have a lil picture of a raspberry and a peach on the front of the bottle.. but it smells good!(tho more like raspberries than peaches to me) and its a pink bottle, too. *harx* bonus points. anyways. fast forward time. Chai picked me up at ang mo kio mrt at 8pm after he picked up Janmeet, then we picked up his mom from sph, and then we all went back to his place for dinner. dinner was good, as usual. i suspect that the reason why eating at his place is just so enjoyable is coz 1)the food is always good. 2)the food is home-cooked. 3)there's always food available at his place once the cooked food runs out. if ever. then we all just kinda chilled out for awhile. Sundeep took a dump and stank up the room. later on, when we were by the pool, Chai cut the cheese and the smell just kinda lingered within the umbrella that was stuck to the table we were at. godd. but today was good, seeing the gang and everything. the last time i was over at Chai's Janmeet wasnt there coz he was in aussie. today we were missing Dasson. anways. im going to sentosa with Sara tmr. we're gonna tan til the skin peels off our backs. well, close to that, anyway. im kinda tanned now but me thinks that its all still rather uneven. oh bloody hell. its already 2.15am and i gotta be up at 9.30am coz im meeting Sara at 11.30pm at harbourfront mrt. good bloody godd. i hate waking up in the mornings i bloody swear. i shall pack my bag for tmr, and then i shall go to sleep. nightz, folks. ho hum.
spat vitriol @ 2:17 AM
xxx
Thursday, January 15, 2004 hmm. i wonder if marriages act the same way having kids do. coz after all, in order to sustain both relationships(assuming you've only got one spouse and one kid), you need: 1)love(d'oh! d'oj! d'oh!) 2)a variety of activites to keep the relationship alive 3)and other stuff too, wadever. lets skip all that. ~so like, having a baby is like having a crush. thats the first stage. you get all infatuated with the person, and you think you love him/her. what you think abt yer soulmate: "omg! im so happy! i'll never meet anyone else and be as happy as this! im so so so in love! its true, darling, our love will conquer all!" *gaze lovingly into soulmate's eyes* what you think abt yer child: "omg! im so happy! my love for my child is infinite! i love my child so so so much! its true, a mother's love conquers all!" *gaze lovingly into baby's glazed, unfocussed eyes* ~gradually, over time, you grow to love the person. the way the person behaves, the lil things the person does, ynoe, that kinda stuff. both parties are happy and contented. what you think abt yer soulmate(married 2 years): "woww. im so contented. this is the way i wanna live my life forever. doing the dishes together, watching some telly together, mebbe having a kid or two together.." what you think abt yer child(who's 2 years old): "woww. im so contented with my kid. watching him grow up, teaching him new things, opening him up to new experiences.." ~there is slight discontentment after some time, of course, but you think that it is natural, not realising that it'll fester over the years into smth more horrifying. what you think abt yer spouse(married 8 years): "damn. cant he pick his undies off the floor? but its alright, im his wife, i dont mind doing it. but does he really have to hog the loo every morning and make me late for work? the boss might just fire me. its alright, my dear soulmate will support me. good ol reliable fella." what you think abt yer child(who's 8 years old): "damn. this kid cannot do his math. how many times must i teach him that 2 + 2 = fucking 4? but im a patient mom, its all okay. tho he really does throw the most awful tanthrums, woww. but heyy, he'll wise up later on, tis all cool." ~after many, many years, those lil habits are just feckin plain annoying, the person isnt so good-looking anymore(adolscents with tons of zits arent a pretty sight), and yer patience is tested repeatedly. what you think abt yer soulmate(married 17 years): "good lord i cant stand this sonofabitch ruining my life i hate him i hate him i hate him. he's cheated on me thrice.. i hate the way he scratches his bum, i cant believe i used to find that cute.. i hate the way he hogs the bathroom in the morning, i cant believe i used to find that cute, was i blind? godd i hate that vain lil prick." what you think abt yer child(who's 17 years old): "good god what have i gotten myself into i hate my life i hate this kid he puts muddy shoeprints all over my clean kitchen.. he treats me like i dont even exist yet scarfs down everything i cook.. he mastubates and dirties the sheets and i gotta wash em.. he's bloody ugly too with all those zits on his face, is he even my offspring?" ***** so. i was just wondering, ynoe. does anybody in this room still wanna get married or have kids? like i said, we're all probably just really ill-equipped to think abt it at present. whether we mature(like good wine) and realise that all this is truly inevitable and accept our fate, or courageously plugh thru it all and end up a winner, we'll havta see. there're other possibilities too, of course. like perhaps ending up with a super marriage and a super kid at the end of it all, or being completely unable to cope with everything and popping 50 pretty lil blue pills of valium at one shot after cooking yer kids scrambled eggs while yer spouse is off at work.. tragic, really. which makes me wonder: what'll happen if a guy pops 50 pretty lil blue pills of viagra at one shot? mmm. listening to: Changes by Kelly and Ozzy Osbourne. requires an acquired taste. i got used to it after awhile.
spat vitriol @ 2:30 AM
xxx the ms singapore universe contest is coming again. humiliating for the contestants, clothes gross enough to blind the viewers, singlish rolls of the tongues of the contestants who most times cant even think of smth decently intelligent to say on national television.. why, this is good ol family entertainment! gee diggidy whiz!! i'll sure be lookin forward to it! *punch the air* whoopee!! and ohh. er. i didnt go running today. umm. shite. dammit. i feel guilty. well, kinda. i'll go running tmr, no promises. tho i dont see what's the point of running tmr if im going over to Chai's for dinner tmr, the boy's probably gonna have a pretty huge dinner laid out for janmeet and i. oh bleeding hell. we'll see how it goes tmr. i've been really pmsy tonight, too. extremely mf'ing irritable with my mom, 200% more than usual. okayy, so im fibbing. 150% more la. and i was asking Donovan weird questions thru sms, think he was kinda freaked out. *chuckle* on retrospect, its kinda funny. tho at the time i meant the questions i asked la, ynoe. i was serious and everything. and of course im still expecting, well, *cough* answers. hormones do weird things to us ladieez. good thing we can blame em for everything.(dont get me wrong tho, i really was on a pmsing rampage tonight) Don told me to keep my hormones in check and not to kill any people. i'll try. a lil. damn my boobs hurt. bloody hormones. [no, really.] listening to: It's My Life by No Doubt. i like everything in this song except the chorus bits. too.. wannabe smth.. i dont know what.. but too wannabe..
spat vitriol @ 1:35 AM
xxx
Wednesday, January 14, 2004    
and i've finished reading all my books, i was awake til 7am finishing it. i was dog tired but i just HAD to finish the book, ynoe? and that means that i've completed all my books in two days and i need to go back to the library, return em, and borrow some more. coz i just need smth to do. its kinda like one of those plant cycles for me.. ynoe, like how those famers plant their crops? they rotate their crops, and then there's a fallow period, and then its back to the cycle of crops again. same here. cept that in this case, im the farmer, and what keeps me occupied is my crops. i may or may not have a fallow period, tho eventually i will coz i would've just gotten sick and bored of it all. so my crops are: watching the telly, going out with my friends, reading, playing my gameboy(this is a really short period) and.. thats abt it, really. i cant count clubbing since its not even an option for me, i just dont club anymore man. and right now, for this farmer, reading's my crop. its just a pain to keep having to trudge all the way to the library and go thru the motions of getting new books. i am one lazy bitch, i know. and one of the books's kinda got me thinking. Shopaholic Ties The Knot. abt how she manages to pull off two wedding ceremonies, tho only one of em's the legit one. one wedding's really elegant and posh and was done by a wedding planner, the other by her family and how they go thru all this effort do up the house so it'll be good enough for their daughter. the latter wedding ceremony was the one the shopaholic chose to make the legit one, of course. anyways. i was talking to Sara last night and i dont know how but the subject of weddings came up and everything. i simply cant imagine myself married. no, really. its just so.. inconceivable. me? married? what would i wear? what would i do? im not christian, do i get married in church? what am i gonna be doing with my future? am i gonna be a house-wife, tai-tai, working woman? who's my husband?? ynoe. that kinda thang. and Ailin has talked to me abt her getting married before, all her plans and everythin, and i'll just 'mm' and 'yah' and 'okayy' all the way coz i really cant contribute to what she's saying, i've never thought abt it before. and i've decided that i shouldnt, anyways. i mean, its just bloody stupid, really. for one, im pretty damn ill-equipped to think abt marriage or anything of the sort, dont you think? my life at present's going into a tailspin coz i cant keep it in control, and you want me to think and fantasize abt smth that might or mightn't happen in abt 10 years time? plus, imagining and creating the 'perfect' wedding is just too much work. and like i said, most of us right now are pretty damn ill-equipped to do so. for christ's sakes, we dont even know who we're gonna marry, how can you even START thinking abt the kinda wedding you want? doesnt the wedding havta depend on the guy yer gonna marry as well? what if the dude yer gonna spend the rest of yer life with isnt a rich bloke(but yer really fuckin happy with him yea), but yet there you are thinking up some really posh wedding with expensive flowers and cristal champagne and the sort? are you bloody mad? sorry. just got kinda worked up. and besides, right now, besides not knowing who yer gonna marry(which is a pretty big thing, considering its all abt you and him, after all), you might not even be mature or realistic enough to even know what kinda guy you want. that is, if yer the sort to plan things out, ynoe. coz you could plan all you want for Mr.Right to appear, and physically(money, job, assets, looks, that kinda thang) he's everything you want, but emotionally he's just.. lacking. and yet this other dude could come along, Mr.Average, and physically he's alright, but yet he's the sweetest, most caring guy you;ve ever met, you start to fall in love, and plus he gives you the greatest sex you've ever had yer entire life. well. wadever. other girls can go off, getting their pretty lil heads all excited, dreaming of their perfect wedding and everything? i say, dont set such expectations for yerself, him, and the relationship. the wedding isnt everything, after all. it only lasts for a day, but the marriage lasts for ever. or its sposed to, anyways. with pre-nups and divorces and alimonies these days.. *shakes head* one might suspect that marriages isnt just abt the love anymore. love.. 'love'.. wadever. ynoe what i mean. and Ailin just called me from bankok. woww. its difficult having two sexes huh? i wonder if it'd all be easier if our race was hermaphroditical. listening to: Take A Picture by Filter.
spat vitriol @ 5:28 PM
xxx is Like a degree of Love or Love a degree of Like? ynoe. i mean, i read a really old article in some mag, and this woman was saying that she was in LOVE with the guy she was in a relationship with, but she felt that the guy didnt feel quite the same way she did. and no, im not fibbing, this really is from an article i read from an ancient issue of cleo. so anyways. basically, at the end of the article, the conclusion was that mebbe the guy didnt love her, but he liked her lots and lots. hence, my question. oh godd. i just realised that if i dwell into this i'll never stop going. tho i gotta say that im more inclined to agree with.. ohh. fuck. forget it. listening to: Eternity by Robbie Williams.
spat vitriol @ 3:55 AM
xxx okayy. this is it man. no fun-time any longer. i am gonna go out and RUN my ass off later today. no, seriously. i am getting more and more dissatisfied with my silouhette. [WHAT silouhette??] i gotta get my flat tummy back. grr. running! run that abdominal fat off my body! yarrgghh!!! this is war!!(or so i declare la, ynoe) i hope to be the victor in this war. xXcross fingersXx coz it'll be sad if i dont. i cant even defeat my own body! how terribly sad is that? very. very much, indeed. so tmr, i'll don my adidas sports bra(which i'd stashed in the back of my cupboard and completely forgotten abt, actually) and a thin cotton tee(dri-fit technology, but without pinching the wallet. brill!), along with my tyr shorts(or mebbe my fbt running ones. we'll see how it goes) and my reeboks, and i'll be off. just that running on a track gets so monotonous, and running along the roads in my area isnt exactly dandy coz 1)there're cars everywhere 2)breathing in carbon monoxide and toxic gases isnt part of my package for an invigorating[and FAT-KILLING] run 3)you could get robbed 4)but since i dont carry any money out with me i could get molested. if i dont kick em in the groin first. oh yes. did i tell you that i had this dream that my uncle molesed me? relax. in my dreams la, that is. he molested me in my dreams. fondled my breasts, actually. i kicked him thrice in the groin and he moaned in pain. that was satisfying enough tho it isnt exactly fantastic to have yer tits mishandled by an uncle that isnt even attractive, not even in an incestuous way. thank god t'was only a dream. i reckon that if it happened in real life i'd be too stunned to react, i'd probably just go like, "what the fuck was that for?" as he sauntered off. then i'd report him to the police and have him arrested. of course, none of my uncles would ever molest anyone, and i think that my dream was only a sorta representation of my dislike for this uncle coz he's been giving my mom a few problems. tho there IS this one other uncle who touches me a lil too often, puts his arm around me a lil too much, and grabs me to his side and squeezes(or hugs) me so tight that i can hardly breathe.. *cringe* owell. im sure its just me. [hmm.] anyways. i shall run tmr. yes. run run run!! run til i drop dead! woohoo! yeahh.. really lookin forward to THAT!! hell yeah! wish me luck, folks!! *thumbs up* listening to: Have A Nice Day by Stereophonics. love the lead singer's voice. its as rough as a cheese-grater. mm.. cheese.. yumm.. NO! NO!!! NO, MADDIE, NOO!! cheese is fattening!! especially mozzarella! and parmesan!(i think) resist! resist the fat attacks!!! do not succumb!! damn i should be a scriptwriter for star-wars or smth. write in Yoda's bits, ynoe. it'd be so awesome. put in all that inspiring and motivational crap so that you'd never wanna go to church ever again. mm.. that came out slightly wrong. kinda politically incorrect. apologies.
spat vitriol @ 2:54 AM
xxx
Tuesday, January 13, 2004 wank on. 
i do not know why, but when i read the comic today the first thing that came to my mind(after "wank on", that is) was "masturbation is the key to enlightenment." well. i think i just need a positive outlook on life.(thats why something positive's a staple, eh) im wayy to pessimistic for my own good. people die of heart attacks and cancers and tumours, im just gonna drop down dead and collapse one day coz i got so melancholic my body couldnt take it. well. at least i save costs on hiring assassins to do me in. but anyhow. i reckon i just gotta have a sorta elan in life, to try and start doing everything with panache. coz after all, its my life, the one im tryna convince in the end that im actually leading a good one is moi. so come on maddie! life's good! life aint that bad! you'll always have time on yer hands(well, not really actually, but fuckit, this is time for hope and optimism!) and there'll always be alternatives(not true either. i mean, mebbe the alternatives arent GOOD alternatives, ynoe?) if things go awry but heyy!! wadever!! just think positive thoughts godammit! yeahh. thats the way to go. i'll pick myself up and i'll be rawwkin this joint in no time. at present tho, im not wearing my rose-tinted glasses, so will somebody buy me some? reading: Sushi For Beginners by Marian Keyes. Keyes is irish, but thats pretty close to being british, me thinks.
spat vitriol @ 8:26 PM
xxx hello, all. i've just had a simply marvellous day. actually, im fibbing. it wasnt marvellous, really. i simply went over to the psy's, got my medication that works like ritalin but lasts abt twice as long(mebbe even longer. woohoo!), and i bought my neon green(mum insists that its yellow) bath lily from bodyshop since we were in town. my old bath lily broke and collapsed on me, the poor thing, and its all unravelled now. it smells nice. the old bath lily, i mean. t'was a proper, sunshine-y yellow, and right now its hanging on my doorknob coz i tied it there. i gotta admit that it isnt really pretty but.. i dont know.. its just so shiny and twirly and soapy.. i couldnt throw it to the dogs! or down the chute. wadever. anyways. after that i went to the library and borrowed three books, now that im so disgustingly unoccupied, ynoe ynoe. i even borrowed a magazine on running in case i decide to actually get my bum off the chair and go REALLY running. instead of virtual-reality running. ynoe, how you imagine yourself running an entire marathon without missing a beat, just sloshing down gatorade as you go(i dont care if gatorade makes me fat, Donovan, it tastes gooood) and bam!! running thru that red ribbon, ripping it, and proudly collecting yer trophy afterwards and then modestly saying, "no no, t'was quite alright. i'll take part again next year." and then i'll give a modest lil laugh, and continue on, "of course, by then lets hope that someone else will have this trophy, eh?" and the crowd will cheer, clap, whistle and laugh appreciatively as i smile. modestly. *cough* heyy, i could, ynoe. i mean, go REALLY running, instead of virtual-reality running. the track's right outside my block. no, seriously, i fuckin swear. and the other two books i borrowed are just, well, leisure books, nothing too strenuous on the brain. dont say anything, you. and anyway, i've finished reading the running mag, so aptly titled "Runner's World". what originality! its so quaint. and really, they've got tons of tips in there. and its really interesting stuff, too. well, mainly coz i know jackshite and also coz i always thought that it'd be really great if i was a really good runner. tune up the speed enduraance ynoe, or mebbe strive to go that extra mile. like, literally. i just wanna actually see an energy gel for myself. im not eating it(yes its meant to be eaten), but i just wanna meet one. lookit the packaging. see if its really squishy, like the gel of an insole for a shoe. wonder if it tastes good. mebbe even get a peek at the inside when the manager isnt looking. sounds like it'll be great. health-food shop(or wherever these things come from), here i come! okayy. i should shut up abt the running. and good bloody god, im talking like a bloody brit. well, in my head, as im typing all this out, the tinny voice in my head's saying it all in a british accent!! ooh!! i feel like im in the country now! have a spot of tea???? oh, chortle chortle ha ha. i just crack myself up. i swear, its the book by the british author im reading. i love em. i LOVE em. the books arent exactly intellectual, they dont provide mental stimulation, but i love em, simply coz they're straight to the point and frank and light-hearted and funny and inane and sarcastic and their love for a glamourous life and.. oh hell. american writers're kinda like that too. but its just smth abt the british, really. ohh.. never mind. i love britain!!!! damn. britain just reminded me of u.k, which reminded me that Don's gonna be flying off to study there next year. oh god. this is just depressing. blahh. i hate britain. lots. and i just got off the phone with Sebestian. its cool, i really havent seen or talked to him in quite a while. he's got good news.. he might be playing for the s-league soon!! i was so completely happy for him! i congratulated him over and over again. and told him so many times that t'was all so cool that he started mimicking me: "oh, its so cool! its cool! yea, its cool!" dammit. anyways. i even imagined him having his own book and all. ynoe, like beckham. and what im picturing is this: its got him on the front cover(it helps that Sebestian looks alot like Nakata. girls, want an intro??), and he's sorta in a squatting-kneeling position on the soccer pitch. of course, it sounds like a crappy position when i put it like that, but it looks good, i assure you! so anyways. and he's holding onto a soccer ball(of course) and giving an enigmatic smile. and it'll be a black and white picture, it'll be more of a classic that way, and the title will be "the memoirs of soccer legend Sebastian Lim". or smth. and then inside, its got all the usual soccer tidbits and wadever(who gives a damn abt where he was born and how many goals he scored between the ages of 5 to 25, ynoe), and there'll be the expected quotes and stuff. even the typical questions, like the dude writing the book(moi) will ask, "so, is there a girl in your life right now?" and he'll answer, "soccer's top priority for me right now. girls.. maybe later on in life." and then he smiles. and there'll be a picture to go along with that quote. the girls will go crazy!!(think along the lines of F4 fans) and then i'll make alotta money!! coz ynoe, Sebastian REALLY didnt say that, i just thought it up myself! so basically, its not his memoirs, its what i think his memoirs would be!! and then i'll make lotsa cash! its not abt him, its all abt me.. and what i think he should be. woohoo! such power. there'll be tons and tons of glossy colour photos, of course. of his best angles, naturally. if not how's the book gonna make any money?? you think more girls or guys bought beckham's book, eh? eh?? and if the guys bought the book, were they heterosexual, EH? so then he becomes really popular with the ladieez, i get truckloads of moolah, all this helps put both of us in the limelight and in the process, boost our friendship, as well as our popularity to even greater heights. we both get what we want. a mutually- satisfying relationship, you could say. and after he's got a girl, other people will want me to write their bloody book of memoirs(or wadever. i could pull off an Adrian Mole if you want) and then.. more money! woohoo! a thousand apologies. okayy. i shall trot off and feed my gerbs, and then im gonna continue reading my book thats written by a british author. toodles. listening to: 2 Become 1 by the Spice Girls. [today's British day, ainnit?? and its not my fault, the song's on the radio. its an alright song, anyways. omg.. i used to lurrrve the spice girls. ginger spice was my fav coz she had flaming red hair and had big boobs! hm. i must've felt pretty inadequate back then, i suspect. owell!] reading: Shopaholic Ties The Knot by Sophie Kinsella.
spat vitriol @ 2:24 AM
xxx
Monday, January 12, 2004 10 THINGS NOT TO DO OR SAY TO THE DUDE YOU ARE MAKING OUT, ENGAGING IN FOREPLAY, OR SEX WITH [note: i *hopefully* do not commit such heinous crimes myself(tho personally, i think that arson's pretty funky). its just the sadist in me who thought up of all these horrible, horrible things.] 1)when the guy comments, "ooh, yer wet," dont reply, "chyeeahh, i know that, doofus." 2)dont dont giggle or smirk to yerself when the guy takes off his pants, he knows you aint laughing at the joke he cracked three hours ago. 3)even if yer the sorta girl who gets easily distracted, dont cry out, "woww!! lookit that! the northern star!!" even if you do see it twinkling outside the window, its not exactly a magical moment when the guy's doing his darndest to pump pump pump away and all you notice is some goddamn star thats gonna constantly be there forever. unlike yer dude, yeahh. 4)if you ever wanna find smth to praise abt yer guy, sincerely and truthfully, yet can find absolutely zilch to praise him abt(then why're you with him?? if you guys're even together in the first place, that is), dont ever say, "baby, yer toe hair is such a turn-on. it brings out the animal in me. grrrrr." you say it jokingly, cool. but dont try to put on and ernest face or anythin, no one's fallin for that one, sweetheart. 5)dont yell "PEE WEE HERMANNNNNN!!!!!" when you two(or three, or four, wadever) are indulging in good ol fornication. please, i beg you, dont. 6)dont ever smack his erect penis, even if yer really curious to find out exactly how bouncy or flexible it is. owch. 7)when you guys are having sex, dont blurt out that he reminds you of yer daddy. why ever not? coz that is some freaky shite, thats why. wot, you've been in really close contact with yer dad's penis these past few years? well, nobody wants to know, least of all yer one-night-stand. social workers, maybe.. 8)while making out, for obvious reasons, restrain from suddenly enthusiastically saying, "heyy!! wanna check out this totally weird growth i've got festering away in my armpit??" 9)dont talk abt anything remotely intellectual when the dude's attempting foreplay. unless it relates to the foreplay that's going on, that is. 10)if yer with a lil guy, restrain yerself from commenting that you've heard a rumour somewhere that penis size is directly proportional to one's height. worse if you continue, saying you think that the rumour might actually be true, while you two are messing around. respect, girl, RESPECT. i could think of more, but im bored of thinking abt the same thing. see y'all. listening to: Broadway by Goo Goo Dolls eating: tuna with tabasco habanero sauce. i like tabasco sauce. and salt. if anything's flavourless or tastes like crap, add salt or tabasco sauce. lots of it!! el problemo solved!
spat vitriol @ 6:08 AM
xxx Ailin's flying back tmr so i met up with her one last time today.(damn i make it sound like one of us is dying from cancer or smth) and the stringy things on my right slipper broke coz it got jammed under the bloody heavy starbucks door(stupid, stupid me) so the both of us trudged off to charles&keith to buy me another pair. they didnt have my original pair(yeahh.. the one i broke was from charles&keith. what to do, *quite* good and cheap what) so i bought another pair. Ailin picked the colour, and its quite funky, so its all cool. she had to lend me ten bucks tho coz i was short. and after that Donovan joined us and we all talked. actually, t'was more like Ailin talked. she was doin her normal multiple-personality switching thing and talking nonsense and im used to it, but Don wasnt, so i suspect that he might've found her a tad freaky. heh. freaky. then we parted ways, she went to borders, and Donovan and i went to cine and caught Veronica Guerin. and then we wenta east coast. and then we went home. ta-daa. end of day. i ate quite lil today. just chicken cheesesticks, milo and gatorade. think i'll eat a can of tuna soon tho, i quite feel like it. tunatunatuna. and frankly, i've no idea what that woman Ho Yeow Sun is tryna do. ynoe, the one thats married to a pastor from city harvest, the one people think is a pastor as well when she just sings songs, the one who's currently on a world tour, and the one who has an absolutely trashy number one song in the u.s.a. i mean, okayy, wadever. so she wears low-back and plunging-neckline clothes at concerts or at awards shows.. i dont care abt that, it doesnt bother me at all. but it bothers me that her number one song is so damn crappy, and the americans are just lapping it all up, its incredibly unbelievable. mebbe its got smth to do with the title, which is 'where did love go'. brings up images of hope, angels and doves, dunnit? sure, go ahead and sing abt hope, angels and doves, but at least make it a good song ynoe? im not even asking for a classy song or anything.. instead, 'where did love go' has got a revolting ah beng techno beat. an OLD-FASHIONED ah beng techno beat, at that. with a forgettable tune and nondescript lyrics, too. i give her credit for being like, the first singaporean to break into the american music market and having a number one hit. i mean, wow! cool. amazing-o. singapore's back on the map. woohoo. all thanks to her, ladieez and gents! and yeahh, she can hit the high notes. but the song is.. omg.. seriously.. such a fucking trashy song la, y'all. you gotta hear it for yerself. i cant take it. goddammit! apologies. mind the pun, please. moving on. i'll just listen to Morcheeba and be contented. for now. and i feel like what i've gotta talk abt next is quite interesting.. or at least slightly more engaging than my usual updating thingmajiggy(which is more for my benefit than yours, actually) so i'll just push it all into a whole new entry altogether. see you in a few mins.. toodle-oo!
spat vitriol @ 4:46 AM
xxx
Saturday, January 10, 2004 updates! wednesday: stayed home and talked on the phone the whole day. was on the line with Kum, Nadiah, Eugene, Dior.. and Shujin even called from new york to check out how i was since i wasnt doin well. thursday: i went to sentosa with Sylvia and Dior. did NOT get my desired tan coz the bloody sun kept playing hide-and-fuckin-seek with the damn clouds. goddammit! but yeahh anyhow, i got an itsy bitsy tad tanner. t'was cool hanging with the girls. got updates from school and everything. not abt schoolwork, of course. thats.. disgusting. no, t'was more on updates like, ynoe, who's with who, who's borken up with who, who's being a bitch(most times Moses the director, of course, that self-imposing, over-confident, flautlent chunk of walking lard and meat), on and on. if all goes well, we'll make this sentosa thang a weekly event. woohoo! and at night Rishi and i yakked on the phone, bitching around as usual. sighh. we're such bitches, and he's a guy. he was further updating me on what's happening in and around school. friday: went to this party thing. Clifford brudda had booked this 'ballroom' at Garden Hotel. its a crummy place, but the entire thing cost him $1500, what with him getting a dj and everything as well, and he's a year younger than i am. he should spread the love, share the money. with me. *cough* so anyways. Clifford had booked the place for this girl he really liked(they arent even together) coz t'was her birthday. her name's Charine. she's from mgs, i think. moving on. soooo many bloody people got smashed, it wasnt even funny. like Amanda. lets just say that her weight when she's completely wasted is in proportion to the length of her long, long limbs. i even tripped on a body on the floor later on, the dude just lay there in between the tables and the place was so dark i couldnt see him. anyways.. Ailin, Jeanne, Amanda, Tim(he's a year younger than i am, he's a small adorable boy!), Lindy(Tim's girlfriend) and i went there together. and i saw Casper there, i was quite surprised actually. he's from tp too. Roger Pho and Elroy were there as well. along with this dude called Melvin who knew that i was Cecil's ex before i'd even introduced myself. freaky. turns out that Melvin and i have got a mutual friend, but even then i dont recall ever having seen Melvin before. in fact, when i sat down beside him, one of the first things he said was, "you're Cecil's ex-boyfriend right?" and im like, "Cecil's ex-boyfriend?? what, alluva sudden i've got a penis?" and he was like, "oh, oh, sorry.." and then he put his head in his hands like t'was an effort to come up with the words 'ex-girlfriend' when its bloody obvious that im not a freakin male. d'oh. then he continued, "oh yes.. yer Cecil's ex-girlfriend.. yer Maddie, right?" very weird. he knew my face, my name, and my ex-boyfriend before i'd even introduced myself, when i'd never seen this dude in my entire life before. anyways. i drank five shots of tequila, got kinda high, and didnt drink anymore. i didnt wanna get drunk or anything and barf my guts up like at s.o.s coz its, ynoe, so damn unglam. and i ate a million chicken wings when i was there when i wasnt drinking coz there wasnt nothing else better to do. damn. i lost count of how many chicken bits i polished off, man. i scarfed down satays and samosas and lil sandwiches. anyways. after i made sure Amanda got shipped back home, Ailin and i left. we went to boon tong kee to eat and we sat outside. i was facing the road, Ailin was sitting opposite me facing the shop. since we were so near Chai's place, we decided to call Chai out to join us, but he didnt pick up his phone. actually, Ailin and i werent exactly hungry, i dont know why she ordered beancurd and rice. and later on, chee cheong fun. coz as she said, "it looks so good! and its so cheap! three dollars only! lets order!" so we did. and as we were talking, i suddenly detected movement outta the corner outta my eye. this guy was standing there and waving at me. i had to kinda squint before i realised that t'was Yuji. i was kinda surprised to see him, really. well, actually i wasnt sure if t'was yuji or Yuda, but heyy, no hard feelings despite mine and Yuji's rather.. unfortunate past. and Zhanxiang was there too, we talked for awhile. its cool, we were primary school classmates and all. he said that they were going to the prata shop next door to eat coz there were chiobus. i was like, wadahell!! coz Yuji and him are already attached, but boys will be boys will be boys. also saw K.C and Ashley. mm. Jeanne should've been there. and soon after, a cockroach flew onto my back before flying down to the floor to crawl around. i swear, im completely cool with cockroaches, as long as they dont actually fucking touch me, the bastards!!!! fuckin hell. im gonna complain, i fuckin swear. i mean, i've been at the bencoolen prata shop and the girls will be freaking out coz there're cockraches crawling around, but im cool, coz it aint fuckin touching me. but this one did!! im complaining. eww. i felt like amputating my entire left arm off man. good thing Donovan's a wannabe-surgeon, eh. and today: i stayed home and slept, was too lazy to go out. i was sposed to meet Don actually, but he was meeting the fellas at 11pm for prata, and we'd have at most 4hours together, so i told him we should meet tmr instead. thats the end of it all. i fell asleep on the couch in fronta the telly like homer tonight. damn, tv's bloody boring. so tmr im meeting Donovan, monday i've got my 3rd session with the psy and she'll ask me how the Ritalin be going, tuesday i've got a job interview(i think), and wednesday i'll probably go out, coz life's too boring. talking to Ailin on the phone now, adios.
spat vitriol @ 11:27 PM
xxx
Wednesday, January 07, 2004 i've been rifling thru the Glamour mag that i koped from Lips last night(thanks to Sara DJ's spacious sling bag. i gotta get me one of those!) and i found some preeety interesting tidbits. or titbits, as the case may be. 1)the total body lift: "according to one surgeon's press release, it's a 'face-lift for your body' that lifts and tightens loose skin from the knees to the shoulders- all in a mere 13 hours." 2)the G-delight: "yes, that G. for this procedure, a doctor injects collagen into your ever-elusive G-spot(presumably to make it bigger and therefore easier to find). hey, let's leave the is-it-big-enough genital worries to the guys." i couldnt agree more. most times, i think we girls dont even know where our own g-spots are.(tho i did read somewhere that our g-spots arent exactly THAT elusive, and that it actually ISNT really in a different location for all women, it just needs to be found. unfortunately, i forgot where i got that bit of info from, and i cant remember where the g-spot is to be found, either. smth to do with the roof of.. smth.. i dont know..) and here the docs are sayin that we can inject collagen into our g-spots? just so that the males can find it?? i say, too bad!! i aint gonna inject crap into one of the most sensitive bits of my body just for YOUR convenience, buddy!! tho of course him finding it would ultimately help us girls but.. wadahell, really.(if you want me goin thru the procedure, i say the guy can jolly well pay for it.. shhh..) and! and and and. and they've got Remy Red over there in u.s of a. lemme tell you want it contains. it contains, of course, the usual remy cognac.. wadever.. but the best bit is that it contains 'liqueur made from natural fruit juices'. and it says 'strawberry kiwi infusion' on the bottle! strawberry, kiwi and cognac!! whee!plus the bottle is a lovely, softly-streamlined, red-pinkish frosted bottle. simply gorgeous, dahling!! i want that Remy Red. too bad nobody's going to america now, i'd get em to buy it for me. *evil laugh* til then, i spose i just gotta be satisfied with boring vodka.. and martell.. and tequila(Amanda's ever favourite alcoholic drink).. and what-have-yous.. bahh.. anyhow. if you havent figured by now, im not at the beach with Sara tanning. i woke up too late and i got too lazy to budge outta my home. so im going to sentosa with Dior, Sylvia and mebbe Sharleen tmr. mm. i hope i can wake up.. im sposed to meet em at harbourfront mrt at 11am. *yawn* en passant, i knew this one dude who continually spelled 'weird' as 'wierd' and 'yawn' as 'ywan'. he never realised his mistake. he used 'ywan' he used it as a lil finishing touch to his smses to indicate that he was tired.(kinda the way i do) i spose that it doesnt help that he also did the alternate-cap thingy and typed out 'ywan' as 'YwAn'. i guess it must be pretty hard to realise that you've made such a simple spelling error when alternate-capping yer words makes the word kinda difficult to make out in the first place. ho humm. oh and ynoe that brand of toothpaste Aquafresh? the one where the toothpaste slides out with its famous red, white and green stripes if you dont moosh up the tube in the first place? yeahh.. they've got this real cool thingy now. of course, only available in u.s.a. yeahh anyways. the toohpaste tube's still the same, but now in the cap, they've got an additional bonus.. there's floss in the cap! isnt that fuckin peachy? isnt that just so amazingly convenient?? hell, americans REALLY gotta floss out all those burger and candy and potato chip bits, if not they'll get tooth decay. now we wouldnt want that, would we? tooth decay is a terrible, TERRIBLE thing. mebbe this new aquafresh toothpaste + floss combination thing will never hit our shores coz we dont eat as much as americans do. besides, we can afford a whole pack of floss without it coming with a cumbersome, hefty tube of toothpaste. i've decided that i like Glamour mag. it aint o.t.t. like some other mags. Galmour mag's just glamourous enough.. for you and me. listening to: Jump by Girls Allowed.
spat vitriol @ 4:20 PM
xxx
Tuesday, January 06, 2004 i met Sara and Amanda today. along with Shuping and Tim, but they only hung around for awhile. we were at far east for an hour, and then at Rocky's at cine for another hour, and then at Lips for the last hour. and then we all went home. anyhow. im just wondering why i dont have a passion for anything in life. isit smth that i must inject into my life myself? i dont know, man. i feel so detached from everything most times, its kinda freaky. like, yeahh, i freak myself out. anything that happens is just smth happening, its just an event, it doesnt really bother me. tho on the outside, it appears that im quite physically affected but at the end of the day, im not really affected by it all. i just let it all slide. and this isnt right. i cant go thru life like this. there'll be disastrous consequences.. i can see it all happening. owell. im going tanning with Sara tmr at east coast. i hope that i'll feel better tmr. timetables at tp will be finalised by the 10th. *shudder* listening to: Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin.
spat vitriol @ 11:48 PM
xxx i just got back. Donovan hadnt brought and extra change of clothes out so he was wearing what he'd wear to sleep at camp. *harx* i reckon that i looked older than he did, coz i was wearing my jeans and a casual top and everythin. but really, i bet he looked like my younger bro, and i was taking him to have dinner near our house. *chuckle* but he still looked adorable. no, really. anways. we just hung out at hougang mall, which is near my place(he needed to go to popular to get stationery) and ate dinner there. and then we wenta hang out at east coast. and then he sent me home before going back to camp. thats basically it. if all goes well i'll see him on saturday, or smth. and when i got home i discovered a dead spider in my room. it was black(pretty colour!), stiff, and on its back.(sounds like a chick in a bad sex position, but anyways) the windows were closed coz i'd shut em before heading out and i guess the nail polish fumes were pretty intoxicating. when i got home i could still smell the nail polish, can you believe that? and it'd been 5 hours since i spilled the damn thing, man. mm. mebbe the spider drank some of the nail polish. perhaps it thought to itself, "woww. i am one thirsty spider right now. im so fuckin thirsty, i havent had any fly blood to drink in days, and no water as well. ooh! over there!! am i hallucinating? could it be..?? why, yes!! it is an oasis of clear, beautiful water!! but because i am only a spider with no olfactory senses i am unable to perceive that the oasis of clear, beautiful water is actually a pool of deadly, TOXIC nail polish! i shall drink to my heart's content!!" and of course, the spider drank the nail polish, and then.. "ohh.. my poor, aching tummy!! do spiders have tummies? well, if i do, it hurts! it hurts real bad, mommy!! cept that i've got 900 other siblings, and i dont know if my mommy even knows me, i've got mommy issues. but who cares! im dying!! oohhhh... my tummy.. i am dyyiinngggg.. what diablerie is this?? save me, oh pagan spider god that i believe in! SAVE MEEEE!!!!" and of course, its pagan spider god did not save it, and the black spider crawled til its eight legs could drag it on no longer, where it fell on its back, curled up, and died. next to my cushions. "eensy weensy spider.. crawled up the spout again.." yea. it crawled up the spout to pagan spider god heaven. damn. i should be a kiddy book writer. teach these kids abt life, i will. heh heh heh. anyhow. i was thinking abt it. if singapore was a big country where carnivals thrived, i wouldnt mind being a carnie. yeahh, you heard right, a carnie. i mean, in singapoe, we dont have proper carnivals, man. we've got funfairs. thats abt it. the thriving carnivals im talkin abt are the huge ass ones, with animals and a performing circus and rides and candy floss and games and everything. it'd be awesome. and sure, mebbe you'd be despised if you worked in a flourishing carnival. "lookit that girl! she doesnt even have a proper job!! errghh!" but if having a proper job requires you to sit at some desk from 9am to 5pm doing boring reports, completely not enjoying what you do(this is important), not getting enough sunlight and exercise(not that i care abt that), gradually losing sight of what you wanted in the first place and being stuck in this humdrum job for the rest of yer life(very important), then i'd frankly not have a 'proper' job. no, seriously. well, mebbe working at a carnival might not pay as well(tho i doubt it if t'was a really awesome one that raked in the big bucks), but at least i wouldnt be bored. well, not SO bored, anyways. perhaps scooping up elephant shit and flushing out the lion cages(after they've gnawed at me like a dog bone.. 8 times in 5 days) might get me down, but at the end of it all, yer with great people(carnies are nice.. right?) and yer doing smth that not only earns you moolah, you getta move around and yer doin smth you truly enjoy. of course, after saying all this crap, im still stuck here and im probably gonna take up some 9to5 job that i'll hate for the rest of my life, and i might not even get paid well(if i get paid at all. IF i get a job at all), and wadever i've just said doesnt mean jackshit. coz life's a bitch, and then you fuckin die, right? and i caught this movie called Jawbreaker on channel i a few days back. it wasnt too bad. one of those teen flicks ynoe, but filmed in a quite a lighthearted way. trashy ending, but thats a teen flick tradition. and as y'all know, traditions arent meant to be broken. so anyhow. Jawbreaker was abt these 4 girls who're really POPULAR in high school, ynoe. there's the leader of the group(played by Rose McGowan. and Marilyn Manson made a guest appearance in the movie.. most probably coz they were still together then. woohoo!) who's a major Bitch with a capital B. man, she was cool. no really, she was. anyways. they accidentally kill one of the girls in the group. t'was a prank they played on her 17th bday.. the 3 of em ganged up, wore masks, rammed a jawbreaker(ynoe, one of those round, huge, hard candies) in her mouth, and taped up her mouth so she wouldnt scream. they dumped her in the leader's car boot, and drove off to their destination. of course, when they opened the boot, the poor girl had swallowed and chocked to death on the jawbreaker. oops. they carry the dead chick back to the house(everyone's piss scared except for Rose McGowan. she was cool, calm and collected), make it look like a rape.(they paid a guy to rape the body. yayy) unfortunately, the school geek/loser chances upon their misdeeds, screams bloody murder, and wants to tell on em. but Rose McGowan says that no, she shouldnt. and in exchange for keeping her trap shut, they'll transform her into one of THEM, the popular girls. ta-daa. blah blah.. yada yada.. plot's revealed in the end.. yada yada.. wadever. end. Rose McGowan just played such a major bitch. it wasnt a specacular movie, but i liked it all the same. im a sucker for such movies, im sorry. popular girls.. bitches.. misdemeanours.. woohoo!!! rawwkk on!! err.. unfortunately.. i dont really fancy those teen flicks that have love stories and the standard loser-turned-into-pretty-girl-with-some-lameass-makeover-and-the-school-jock-falls-in-love-woth-her-and-happily-ever-after. i mean, really. blergh. and these movies usually contain Frddie Prince Junior. ahh.. NOW ynoe what kinda teen flicks im talkin abt, right?? yeahh.. those movies are alright.. i'd just rather watch em on dvd or smth. anyways. i need a cuppa milo. and im *kinda* happy, i only ate yong tau foo and biscuits the whole of today. yayy! yeahh.. when i met Don i only ate yong tau foo. healthy lifestyle for me, man. one new year resolution i lived up to today! yeahh!!! i rock!!! *snorx* listening to: Inside Out by eve 6.
spat vitriol @ 1:08 AM
xxx
Monday, January 05, 2004 Donovan's gonna be pickin me up in an hour and then we're going to dinner. how cool is that? no, not the picking me up bit. no, not the dinner bit, either. just the bit that isnt in the first sentence but actually says how exciting it'll be to see him after so damn long. and i dropped a bottle of clear nail polish on the floor, the bottle cracked, and there's nail polish all over the floor. i've thrown away the bits of glass but i cant much be bothered with the puddles of nail polish. mebbe i'll clear it up later. the fumes are terrible, tho. i had to switch off the aircon and throw open the windows to air out the room. fat lotta good it did. my head's spinnin.. clear nail polish fumes.. whoo.. spinnin round and round.. i cant feel my tongue.. or my brain.. whoo.. thank god i'll be outta the house in an hour and i will not die from clear nail polish fumes. im too young. i've got another.. 32 years before i hire those assassins to do me in. i gotta go bathe now. ohh, my poor, aching body. listening to: Maybe Tomorrow by Stereophonics.
spat vitriol @ 5:52 PM
xxx dammit! i've got bruises all over my body from last night's carnival ride. i thought i had a thick hide. i guess i thought wrong. [last night in bed, when i closed my eyes and thought abt the ride again, i felt ill. however, the feeling of being motion sick eventually lulled me to sleep.] i've got a bruise on my left shoulder, the outer part of my left thigh, and few more small bruises on my right elbow. along with abrasions on the right side of my tummy where the safety handle rubbed out part of my skin during the ride. my body also aches. my knees ache. my shoulders ache. my bruises ache. if i was in a dance class today i would be unable to dance. fortunately for me, i do not belong to a dance class. i do not ever want to grow old. i shall commit suicide when im 60. ermm.. mebbe 51. i will hopefully be able to collect my pension when i am 50, spend it in a year, and then proceed to kill myself. mebbe i'll hire assassins to get me done in! isnt that just so exciting?? i'll really go with a big bang!!(geddit? assassins? guns? big BANG? geddit geddit?? hawhawhaw) i will tell em to make it a painless death. i will stand in the middle of orchard road during lunch hour, i'll give em the signal, they shoot, i die and fall to the floor as gracefully as i can(i suspect that my body will hit the floor with more of a heavy thump, actually, but lets not go into minor details now), and before the police come, i'll block the cars from moving on and there'll be an even bigger traffic jam than usual coz its lunch hour! hooha!! or i could just slit my wrists, ynoe, wadever. but you die such a slow death. and its SO difficult to make it a comfortable death. tsk. i reckon i'll stick to my assassins plan. and VillagePhotos is being a bitch and charging people for hosting their photos so i was searching the web for pictures i could steal off people, instead. i came across this, i got sidetracked, and here's the end product:  Zim is basically the star of the show. He's trying to take over the world but his enemy, Dib, is keeping it from him. His quote is "Invader blood runs through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!" Which Invader Zim character are you? brought to you by Quizilla anyhow. im meeting Donovan tonight for dinner! *waves pom poms like a crazyass cheerleader* and then i wont be seeing him til the 10th or whenever. boo. but anyways. im just searching for a new piccie to put up on my blog. mebbe i'll find another host soon and then i'll be able to put up whatever pics i want without having to be a freeloader and rob em off people and kill their space. soon, my minions, soon.(no promises tho) listening to: My Culture by Robbie Williams.
spat vitriol @ 3:41 PM
xxx he touched down at abt 11pm tonight. woohoo! and i just got off the phone with him. the poor soul's got work later on. i might not even see him til the 12th. bloody guv'ment. i hope i'll be able to see him soon, tho. well, d'oh. anyhow. i went out with Amanda, Diana and Ailin today. i met Amanda and Diana first, we hung around town and ate, and then Ailin joined us later. we went to that carnival in town, and there's this ride called the Crazy Surf(err.. i think..). and the ride goes round and on round, not on the ground or horizontally, instead it goes round vertically. its not a really scary ride, tho the 1st time i went on i felt like i was goona barf coz i'd just eaten. "the 1st time?" you ask me, eyebrows raised. "why yes, my dear, the 1st time. coz we went on the ride 7 times," i'd reply. pull yer jaw back up. yeapp, 7 times. there was nothing else to ride, actually. the other ride worth, uhh, riding had broken down(its called Music Dance) and it wont be fixed til mebbe tmr. anyhow. we sat on the ride 7 times, but we only paid for a few times coz the operators were pretty cool abt letting us sit for free. no one else was clamouring to grab a ride anyways. i paid for only 2 rides, hoho. it feels good to be dishonest. and when people are happy with you for being dishonest.(in this case, the ride operators) and after the 7 rides i felt really shitty, so thats why we stopped grabbing free rides. then we went to the bistro at Borders to chill and eat. Wilfred joined us for awhile, before he and Diana popped off to walk around. frankly, i think they were bored, but thats just me. and damn, my hips and thighs hurt from being in the ride coz in the ride you move from side to side and i bumped up alot along the sides. i've also got a bruise on my left shoulder where i hit the back of the seat. and i've got a sore throat as well coz i yelled so bloody much when i was on it. i yelled, "i love my mommy! i hate my daddy! i'll kill him when i grow up!" and "do you love yer mommy? do you love yer daddy? love yer mommy! love yer daddy!", and stuff like that. i cussed a lil, too. and Amanda and i sang Peaches. the 4 of us also held conversations on the ride, but t'was kinda tough when the music playing was so loud we had to kinda yell to each other so that we could hear each other. the ride played english techno. the only song i liked was that song by Scooter and this other song called God Is A Girl. and not just coza the title, aight. God Is A Girl is quite a nice song. no, really la. anyways. Rishi and Zhiyang are back. Rishi's back from india and i hope he got me those earrings from bankok. i am rubbing my hands in glee now. and Zhiyang's bitching abt france to me now, abt how the weather was shitty and so was the shopping coz t'was all winter wear. its cool, tho, he took 7 rolls of film and 2 digicams worth of photos. plus, he's got the shots that were taken when he acted in 15, so i've got abt 600 pictures to sieve thru when we meet up. cool. i look forward to the challenge!!(hai! kambate!.. err, wadever, maddie..) im gonna go eat fishballs and tang hoon now. im kinda hungry. bloody hell. im gettin bloody fat. im gonna go running tmr. no, seriously, y'all. listening to: Addicted by Simple Plan.
spat vitriol @ 1:56 AM
xxx
Sunday, January 04, 2004 i went to sentosa in the morning with Amanda, Sidney, Ivan, Dominique, Kimberly and Merliza. i had to drag my weak, unconscious body outta bed at 8 fuckin 30am in the morning so that i could meet em in time, but i was late, as bloody usual. t'was pretty cool. Amanda and i lay there and tanned ansd talked and laughed abt so much shite. i bet my laugh was so loud it carried over the water and the people in those ships out there on the horizon are like, "wadahell's that sound?? sounds like evil, maniacal, crazyass laughter!! but it cant be! we're so far from shore!!" anyways. i got a tan, tho i gotta say that it isnt a satisfactory shade of dark brown. i wanna be as tanned as a monkey's butt! a monkey thats got a really dark, tanned butt, that is. i bumped into Matthew Wan at the train station at harbourfront. he gave me candy. *grinz* he's like my lil brother coz we've got the same surnames, even tho he's physically alot larger than i am. then again, who isnt?(besides Sidney la yea. she's super tiny) and when Amanda and i were leaving sentosa we bumped into Gawain and his girlfriend WanEn at the bus stop. t'was cool. he gave me a ciggie. and his girlfriend's really pretty! and her body's proportionate! dammit dammit dammit. plastic surgery, here i come. *snorx* its good that Donovan's gonna be a surgeon later on in life, right? mebbe i'll get a discount. a discount that'll be as BIG as my fake silicon breats. *boing boing* and after that, i had to rush home to change.. for a dinner at sentosa. grrr. twice in sentosa in one day, its all fuckin retarded, i swear. anyhow. the dinner was a major pain in the butt. there were: 1)lousy emcees. 2)really, really bad music.(imagine music along the likes of chinese techno, aight) 3)food wasnt offered til alot later, when i was dying of hunger. 4)yucky crowd. old people. old, boring people. and young kids. i repeat, yucky crowd. 5)no alcohol. well, tiger and heineken beer was sold but my mom wouldnt buy me any coz she didnt want the people at the function to know that her daughter drinks beer. and i didnt bring my wallet out, bloody godammit. 6)no el cigarettos to ease the painful boredom. 7)wasnt enough food to keep me occupied for longer than 45mins. 8)there was a karaoke competition. oh may the lord have mercy on our souls!! *howl* it was a traumatising time, to say the least. i was looking foreward to the best among the worst of the lot. the screeching, warbling, nasal voices! oh oh, my ears, mommy, my ears.. they hurt.. 9)i think the damn dj only brought 3 cds. one cd was christina aguilera, one was ballads, and the last was r&b. godd. good things: 1)the food was alright. at least t'wasnt bad, ynoe. if t'was i would've just jumped into the sea or smth.(the restaurant's right by the sea) 2)they played r&b when the wannabe-hip-hop, wannabe-nigger emcees came on.. only two songs, tho. two songs, but it eased the pain somewhat. thank you, 50 cent's In Da Club, and Dr Dre's bhangra remix of some song. that is all. that was how i spent an agonising 4 and a 1/2 consecutive hours of my life tonight. it was torturous, to say the least. i think my mom was pretty ored too, she was wondering out loud how come kids with those wheely shoes dont fall off when they whiz around. she reckons that they must've got pretty good balance. i told her that i hope they fall right on their skinny lil asses so that i can have a good laugh. and during the karaoke competition this one woman was just hollering some old chinese song away. thats right.. no fashionable modern songs, only old chinese, hokkien and ye olde english songs available, thank you. so yea, there this woman was, just 'singing' away, and the wind started blowing real strong alluva sudden, and i told my mom that i hoped that the banner swinging wildly behind the woman would just break loose and wham!!, whack her in the head. unfortunately, that didnt happen, so i was still bored. and i am so not carrying out my new year resolutions. i am still one cynical, sarcastic, s.o.b. goddamn! and i obviously still cuss alot. crappit. owell. mebbe tmr. (one more new year resolution: stop procrastinating, girl!) listening to: Jesus In A Camper Van by Robbie Williams. rather ancient, but its a classic, yea.
spat vitriol @ 1:19 AM
xxx
Saturday, January 03, 2004 only coz i fancy cats. *purrr* 
well. and also coz i do what Clango(the robot) did in the 3rd panel whenever i see an adorable lil kitty. *mreowrr!*
spat vitriol @ 2:02 AM
xxx free flow of booze, music, cigarettes and vomit. thats what the new year's eve party was, summed up in one sentence. and the chinese new year party that Sara DJ's planning will be pretty much the same, but magnified on a larger scale. whoopee!! i'd like to cut out on the puke, tho i doubt that it'll be possible. anyhow. i went out today. i met Erwin first and we walked around. i bumped into Saizhen who works at Inner Peace at taka, which is this candle shop(aromatherapy and all that jazz). t'was cool, she didnt even recognise me, man. the shop didnt have what i wanted so i left, and as i stepped out Saizhen said that i've got nice hair!! y'all, you cant imagine how happy that makes me, coz i know that she's not just saying it to make me happy since she could compliment me on smth else. woohoo! i've got nice hair, everybody!! lookit me, i've got nice hair!!! i'll give the credit to the dye job i just had, it makes my hair look healthier. i think. anyways. after hanging out with Erwin for abt an hour, i met Diana, Sidney, Sara, Amanda, Ivan, Mark, El Paulo, Marcus, Kenneth, Rene, Shuping and Joey. we hung out.. at cine.. then at Lips(where Amanda ate).. then finally at Swing, which is this pub(among the row of pubs) at cuppage. i've been there once with Chai&co, its not bad. just that the live band that plays there plays kinda loud so its really tiring to talk. when we were at Lips, Gary, his bro, Juliana, Marcus and some other people came in. they were from the superteens camp that i went to and they're still resourcing, i think.(only superteens people will know what im tlakin abt) Diana pointed em out actually coz she's an ex-superteen kid too. and turns out that Mark knows Gary coz they used to play basketball together at serangoon. Eric the viking plays with em too. its.. a small world after all.. its.. a small world after all.. sing it!! and Mark kinda blames me for the reason he got so damn drunk on new year's eve. coz when they did the dentist chair and all the guys held him down, i was in charge of pouring the martell down his throat. cept that i was pretty damn inebriated myself so i just kinda tilted the bottle at a really steep angle. heyy, it aint my fault, right? i can pour the martell down yer throat, but it doesnt mean that you gotta drink it. but yea.. he doesnt really blame me la, im just the reason he got so damn drunk. he was telling us that when he was sleeping in the room that night, he told himself that he was gonna die coz he felt so bad, he puked everywhere and he was even shivering and all that. oopsy! sorry Mark. at least he's still alive and well now, right? anyways. Amanda and i left at 12am. the rest stayed there. they might still be there. and later this morning Sara, Amanda, Diana, Sidney and i are going to sentosa to tan. i need a tan!! and after that i gotta go home to change, and then go to sentosa again with my mom for some dinner function thang. woo fuckin hoo. i would be at sentosa twice in one day. fuckin smart. after the dinner, if it wont be too inconvenient for me, i'll be joining the rest at arab street to smoke sheesha. speaking of smoking, Sidney burned off part of her right eyebrow at Swing tonight. she was doing some ciggie trick, and whoomph!! the lighter flame flew up and burned her eyebrow. its not so bad, only a lil bit's burned off at the tip. t'was kinda funny actually, once i realised that she wasnt hurt. *chuckle* anyways. i gotta get up pretty early afterwards, thats why i came home so early. plus, the fact that it wasnt exactly optimal conditions at Swing to hold a conversation, but wadever. i gotta be up at 8.30am, im meeting the girls at 10.30am. *grooaann* the things i do for vanity. and Ivan just called me. he'll be joining us later at sentosa too! Ivan, his friend and 2 other girls are gonna be meeting us. its gonna be a hectic day. g'night, my lil supermonkeys. 
looky in the last panel! thats what santa claus looks like!! t'was unbeknownst to me that santy claus resembles a gigantic, heavily overweight octopus. listening to: Eat You Alive by limp Bizkit.
spat vitriol @ 1:39 AM
xxx
Thursday, January 01, 2004 ynoe i was in so many bloody pictures yesterday, everyone was taking photos of everybody.. i hope i'll get to see em.. coz i wanna. i didnt look possessed this time, i just looked drunk. ynoe, red in the face and all. at least i didnt have vomit on my face. and El Paulo just told me today that the apartment's haunted. he said that he didnt wanna tell me til the party was over, and for that i thank him, coz if not i would've just been pretty damn freaked out the whole night. ynoe, what with my fear of the dark and ghosts and everything. Sara was telling me the history of the haunted flat on the phone just now. she was saying that apparantly the maid from the apartment above theirs either tripped and fell or attempted suicide, or smth. but mebbe a floor later she didnt feel like dying, so she clung onto Neng's window ledge. well, unfortunately for her, no one was at Neng's place so no one saved her. i spose after a long while she got tired from holding on and she fell to her death. i asked Sara how they know the place was haunted, and she only told me one creepy instance. Neng didnt wanna mention any more stories.. if possible, if i ever meet him again, i'll ask him. this kinda stuff freaks the hell outta me, but its so damn thrilling. yea, cheap thrills, more like. anyhow. apparantly Neng was playing mahjong and all the windows in the house were closed. they felt a wind, and this really heavy cupboard in the kitchen fell. thing is, the cupboard fell in the opposite direction where the wind was blowing towards. also, all the windows in the house(and the kitchen) were closed, so there was no reason why the cupboard could fall. plus, the cupboard was stable and t'was preeeeetty heavy so no wind could've knocked it down. weird. cool, eh. i seriously am gonna ask Neng for the other stories if i ever see him again man i swear. i find such stories intriguing coz no one really knows how such things work, or why. there're a myriad of other reasons too, but i simply cant be bothered to go into em now coz im gonna watch Dr. Dollitle 2 on the telly now. El Paulo calls me a tv freak, just coz i was watching The Fly 2 on the telly last night when i was sober as everyone else was dancing. and just coz i watched The Fly 1 as well, and i thought they were good sci-fi flicks, and i know that the main dude in The Fly 2 was the the guy in the Fly 1's son. and also coz in the car this morning, Jeremy was talking abt a show to El Paulo and he couldnt remember the title but i knew t'was Goodness Gracious Me and i said so. i mean, seriously, that doesnt make me a tv freak. i just know my telly shows, is all. tho i gotta admit that i once used TvFreaK as my nick on icq before.. that doesnt prove that im one. i could call myself The Ruler Of The Universe, but it doesnt mean that i really am the ruler of the universe, right? yeahh. enough said. aight. telly time. listening to: Like A Stone by Audioslave. postscriptum: personally, i think that Dr Dolittle's a better show than Dr Dolltile 2. but then, thats just me.
spat vitriol @ 10:14 PM
xxx i just remembered that yesterday night i had a dream that Donovan was back in singapore. and we were gonna go out and he came to pick me up. i got in his jeep and i couldnt stop kissing him on the lips repeatedly many, many times coz i was so damn happy he was back and i was FINALLY seeing him after so long. and then i woke up and i was happy(i might even have had a smile on my face).. til i remembered that in reality he actually isnt back yet. i mean, wadahell. what a letdown, balls.. my brain irks me. on the *sorta* bright side, i'll be seeing him in another.. 9 days. *grr* anyhow. last night's new year's eve party was pretty good!! its good to go without any expectations, so then when the party turns out good you'll be really happy. and i was happy. *harx* i met Diana, Sara, Amanda, Sidney and Haugeng at junction 8 at 9.30pm. i was late, as ususal, even tho i lve the closest to junction 8 as compared to the rest of em. we bought ice and mixers and fags, we ate dinner, and then we went over to braddell view where the party was held. [note my use of the word 'party' instead of 'a gathering of people', coz it really was fun last night.] so anyways. went there, met the other people.. and they were all so cool, t'was great. met the guy who sat in my primary school bus, i even remembered his name coz he was ang moh and we sat in the same school bus for bloody years. his name's Eric, and he's big and tall like a viking. i mean, how cool is that?? im talking to a big and tall viking dude abt sharing the same primary school bus and complaining abt the mean ass auntie who drove the bus, man!! *sighh* good ol times.. for my benefit, the list of people i can remember who went(not in any order whatsoever. well, mebbe females first, then males): Amanda, Diana, Sara, Sidney, Geraldine, Xiaohui, Shuping(who got so completely smashed she threw up on the bed, on the floor, and on the sidewalk when she was carried down. its amazing how much vomit the human body can contain, really. or how much alcohol), Gek Puay, Haugeng, Mark(he's got 6 fingers on each hand.. how cool is THAT??), Nabil, Ivan, Jeremy, Kenneth, Gerald(my kor.. harx), El Paulo(just Paul, really. but i think its fun to call him that), Neng(the owner of the house. he's cool), Marcus, Tim, Chang(my other kor.. i have too many bruddas, i swear), Jianhong, Weihong, Sean, Edmund, Benedict, and other people who i didnt get introduced to, didnt bother to get introduced to, or were simply too unmemorable for me to register their presence. and so many people got so completely smashed man. i was sober most of the night, thank god. i got really high quite early on in the night when we played 5-10 and indian poker(Amanda and i cheated and helped each other out. hoho) and hardly anyone else was high so t'was alright. according to Amanda i was just talking nonsense and doing ridiculous actions but quite scarily i couldnt remember it, i dont know why. i didnt get SUPER high, i just tuned out of the bit where i got high and just kinda gibbered along. i was on the couch next to Amanda and thats all i remember, really. i didnt think that i'd done anything outta the ordinary, but apparantly i yelled alot, and i cried out "woohooo!!" and when Amanda asked me what i did that for, and i just said, "for fun." and i asked Amanda where Sara was and then i just turned away from Amanda and started shouting, "Sara! Sara!!".. on and on. i also denied being drunk when Amanda asked me if i was. okayy. that i remember la. couldnt remember any other DAMN thing. wtf. fucking weird, man. but i just stayed put on the couch la, didnt move or anything, i was just more ridiculous than usual. i didnt do anything that i'd, ynoe, regret or anything, ynoe ynoe. anyways. one by one, people started getting damn high, and then drunk, and then barfing up all over the place. people drinking offered me tequila shots and all that alcohol(there was quite a shitload of booze at the place. take yer pick of poison, yea.) but i refused coz 1)i'd get drunk and become a drunkard and then there'd be a re-enactment of s.o.s, me throwing up and being all unglam and 2)i really didnt wanna throw up yea, seriously. and i knew that if i had even one shot i'd just die. but t'was good, we played r&b the entire night, and t'was all pretty cool when yer high. yer on the floor, dancing, and ynoe everyone, and everyone knows you. you dont havta worry that anyone's gonna take advantage of you, and even if they do, they're gonna get fucked coz its a house party(plus, Haugeng's a police inspector! whee!). its not crowded, its warm but not unpleasantly so. there're no big bums rubbing up against you like in Phuture. you pick the songs you wanna listen to, etcetc.. t'was optimal conditions for partaayyying, dudes and dudettes. im glad to say that my high wore off and soon i was the only girl who was sober and active at the party. mebbe with the exception of Diana, as well. think i sobered up quicker than she did, tho, coz she was still drinking when i was already sobering up. blame my sober-ness(i really cant be bothered to find out what the exact word is now, eh) on the fact that my tolerance for alcohol isnt high so i get faster than other people and sober up faster, too. the security guards came up 4 times to the apartment to bitch abt the noise level. mebbe more. so did the police. once, i think. or twice. i dont think Haugeng said anything abt him being a police inspector heh. that was cool. disturbing the police in the middle of the night.. thats fun. DISRUPTING THE PEACE, PEOPLE!!!! COZ WE'RE FUCKIN REBELS!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAHHHHH!!!!!! and the lot of us sat out in the corridor ALOT. mainly coz t'was stuffy in the place(we had to close all doors and windows so that the neighbours wouldnt hear us blasting our music as much) and there was a really great wind out there. t'was quite awesome. sitting there and talking and bitching and when we got really really hungry, El Paulo and Gekc Puay went down to buy loaves of bread, butter, jam and chips. all of us just sat there in the corridor and polished off both loaves without bringing the food into the house to share with the rest, we were fucking starving, aight. Chang&co came alot later, after their partying at expo.. the m.o.s thang, ynoe. and Chang joined us alot in the corridor heh. we played 5-10 and we drank martini.. crap. i lost quite a few times. bloody Amanda. you good, but you suck, Amanda!! but the martini really wasnt so bad la. and t'was fun! and after that we went back in and danced. just danced and danced and danced. even when everyone was dead and i was sober i still wanted to dance, i'd just poop off to the dancefloor with people who wanted to dance. which wasnt alot, there was a lull for quite a long while, when everyone was just conked out and tired and everything.. but i wasnt tired. looky!! im not tired!! im still blogging!! whee!! seriously. im running on duracell or smth. but i know that once its noon i'll start to wind down and get all pooped out. and i talked to Gerald for quite a long while, too. we were talking abt alotta stuff and yea, t'was cool sharing stuff and all, he's my kor and everything. Amanda is his sis now, too. but im still the original one, Amanda's the imitation one. hooha! ohh yes, and i forgot to mention the most exciting thing that happened. there was a theft. soemone stole this girl's mobile. she's one of the people i didnt get introduced to and didnt bother to get introduced to. and check it, the bags were raided and there were bodychecks. one of the guys searched the rest of the guys, Sara checked the girls. still couldnt find the girl's mobile coz well, after all, a few people left the party before she discoverred it so you never know, they might've been the ones who took it. blah. wadever. anyways. we left the place at abt 7am. i think. yea. Benedict drove Amanda, gerald, El Paulo, jeremy, Ivan and i outta the place and dropped Amanda, Ivan and i back at junction 8. he was gonna send the resta the guys home. the three of us ate at mac's, and then we all went home. we didnt even give much of a shit for the countdown. we turned on the telly, counted down the last 10 seconds, hollered, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!", made a toast, drank, and then continued on with wadever we were doing. which was drinking. but t'was concentrated drinking, y'dig. so technically, us celebrating the new year took a max of, like, one minute. woohoo!!(dont ask me why i said that, t'was just for fun.) and that was my new year's eve this year. sorry. last year's new year's eve, i mean. and tonight, its free at zouk. and i dont know who wants to go, but i sure as hell aint going, coz its gonna be crazy-ass crowded. frankly, today's party was quite excellent, everything was just really cool. the phone theft didnt bug me, it wasnt my phone. and even if it was, go ahead and take it, i dont like the phone, anyways. ptooey. Neng(the owner of the apartment) even apologised for having to do the bodychecks and everything, and we were like, "dude, its cool man, we understand." i mean, he REALLY didnt havta apologise. he shouldnt, ynoe? t'was mandatory, in a sense, even if he didnt give a damn abt the girl, ynoe. he's cool. too bad his girlfriend was too tired to come down, it would've been even cooler, i bet. anyhow.. i gotta bathe now. i dont know what im doing tonight. mebbe i'll be sleeping. reckon i might just conk out for another 12 hours straight. toodles for now. and a HAPPY NEW YEAR, take care, best wishes for the new year, and all that.. stuff.. yada yada.. listening to: Blindfold by Morcheeba. i love trip-hop.
spat vitriol @ 10:05 AM
xxx
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