Tuesday, October 28, 2003

brace yerself mentally and physically. mentally coz im gonna be reliving a few pretty nasty events and physically coz yer eyes are gonna be so tired from reading it all. and remember to look out the window every 15mins. you dont wanna get myopia! the government wouldnt like that!! (remember that no-myopia campaign they had everywhere for that short period of time?)

so. i was just at xiaxue's blog and im glad to see that she's recovering. but anyways. she was mentioning her colleague's friend who's got a HUGE mole in her ear with lotsa lil strands of hair sticking out from it. she did a sketch and well, it looks like a lil black tumour that could eat you.

so i decided to post a comment and i just had to copy and paste it here. this is what i wrote in her comments box:
"shit man. fuckin hilarious dude. i hate yucky moles with hair too. my pri sch chinese(figures.) teacher had one on her chin(not THAT huge) but it had one motherfuckin long strand of hair sprouting from it and when we were doing our zuo4 ye4 she'd be fingering and playing with ehr(sic) mole and she'd stroke that strand of hair. fuck man! i was a traumatised pri sch kid balls!"

yes, sirree. i had a terrorising primary school life.

you simply cant imagine how disgusting it was to see her playing with her mole, just to keep her fingers busy when she was unoccupied during class time. and she wasnt a nice teacher, either. she was a meanie. she's not in the school anymore so i shant say anythin in case her eye starts twitching or she starts sneezing and she'll come after me, hairy mole and all.

Diana's primary school teacher was worse i think. she and Zhi were in the same class and THEIR primary school chinese teacher (why isit always the primary school CHINESE teachers eh? no seriously, im curious.) would pick their nose, roll her pisai into tiny lil balls and flick it into infinity and beyond. *incoming!!*

and once, Zhi found that some of the pages of her zuo4 ye4(that's our chinese workbook, those of you who dont understand chinese) stuck together at the corners, and ynoe.. the teacher had a habit of digging her nose while she marking the zuo4 ye4 so they suspected that Zhi's workbook's pages werent being held together by glue but by some other more sinister substance.

and besides all these repulsive habits, the teachers were fuckin demons from the 50th level of hell as well. but with like, good intentions. well some of em, anyways.

i had this pri3 math teacher(ms june loh) from peichun, she was an absolute terror man. she was real tall, even for an adult woman, and she had real straight-as-a-ruler kinda posture. up til now i havent seen anyone with posture that straight. she'd cane us and hit us with wooden rulers until both the cane and ruler would break. sometimes she'd hit us with two or even three wooden rulers bound together, just to teach us how far pain could go. oh yes, and she'd pinch our cheeks real tight. wait. pinch isnt the word.. clamp would be more like it. she'd clamp both hands on each cheek and just squeeze yer cheeks til they turned mauve, or smth. she also shouted ALOT, and sometimes she'd scream, and t'was so damn shrill you could just cover yer ears.

of course, if you did that, you'd get whacked.

any lil thing could warrant a punishment. i remember once, in order to mock her clamping people's faces, i did it to my friend, but not hard. and it was funny, too. til she saw it. and then i got a caning.. or clamping. i cant remember. maybe it's a repressed memory coz i was so traumatised. i truly felt that i didnt deserve the punishment at all.

and there was this one time(and only one time) right real early in the morning before classes had started the class next to ours had a fight and there were big crowds around each doorway(every classroom has got 2doors ynoe?) and i was standing at the back of the crowd, trying to get a look.. and things being how they were then as they are now, i was too short to see a single fucking thing. i hadnt known how the fight had went, or even who was involved in the fight.

well now, apparantly it's a crime to wanna watch people fight, coz when ms loh came in later on she said that soneone in the crowd had said, "wah! you3 hao3 xi4 kan4 le4!"(translation: "wah! got good show to watch already!")

and ms june loh found that real offensive or smth, that someone thought a fight was smth good to watch. she wanted to find out who said it, but of course nobody would own up. in fact, come to think of it, the person who said it might not even have been from our class. or even better, nobody might have said it at all, coz ms june loh hadnt heard the person say it for herself after all, it was all hearsay, and i've no idea which insane lil snitch would actually tell her.

well so anyways. ms loh wanted to find out who the 'culprit' was, but sicne nobody would admit it, she picked out people who might have said it. pick, pick, pick, and i was one of the lucky chosen ones.

knn cjb man. fuckin nabeh cjb.

what happened to us? well, i cant remember why she had so much time, maybe we'd finished our syllabus, maybe exams were over, but wadever t'was, she made us stand in a row in front of the backboard every single motherfuckin day, grilling us and asking us which one of us had dunnit.

and she refused to hear our pleas that we hadnt said anything(for fuck's sakes, i hadnt even seen anythin. and my chinese wasnt so pro, why would i say it in chinese?? besides, i REALLY hadnt said anythin.) and basically just yanked us up from the floor(ynoe in pri school, they make you sit on the dirty floor and huddle in front of the blackboard so that the teacher can see all the students and all the students can see the blackboard) and dragged us out there to stand. there were abt 8 of us, maybe more, maybe less.

and she made us stand in front of the blackboard coz standing in front of the entire class was an embarrassing thing ynoe.. she wanted us to be embarrassed and own up. and at first it was kinda humiliating (and the rest of the class sitting on the floor didnt dare to snicker or anythin or they'd either get beaten or yanked up to join the rest of us) standing there with the whole class watching and all.

but day after day, we got used to it, and she'd patrol in front of us, hoping to find out who the person who'd dunnit was. i cant remember if she hit us coz logically, she cant hit us if we hadnt done anythin wrong, but she might've hit us in order to dig out who the culprit was and i'd just repressed the memory of it.

well, she never found the culprit, not even after making us stand there day after day after day. she made us stand there for abt a week.. maybe 2weeks.. i really cant remember. when yer a kid time moves differently from how it does now.

another time was when we were sposed to hand up or homework or smth, and may the lord have mercy on yer pitiful soul if you hadnt done yer math homework. slice and dice ya, that's wad she'd do.

this one classmate of mine, a girl(who was quite an imbecile in pri3 but ended up going to rgs after the psle). hadnt done her homework in her math workbook, and she was so afraid, but she went to tell ms loh anyway. i remember that it was starting to rain, and you could tell that it was gonna be quite a storm.

well. ms loh just fuckin blew her top off. she screamed and shrieked, hit her even, and the girl was crying and begging like there was no tmr. i can still remember this one scene; the girl was holding onto ms loh's leg like some kinda abandoned puppy, crying and begging with ms loh(begging for what i cant remember) and the rain coming down real strong with lightning and all. completed the scene, ynoe.

ms loh's scolded and hit alotta kids, but i dont know why i remember this incident in particular, really. well, anyways, remember i said that it was raining? well, the girl must've been crying and all that for abt 20mins(possibly more) and ms loh had thrown the girl's workbook onto the floor or smth. perhaps ms loh had gotten tired of the girl's wailing coz she picked up the workbook and flung it out thru the window. our classroom is on the third floor. and our windows were like the ones with horizontal shutters, and wow ms loh must've had some pretty good aim to throw it out. i can remember her flinging out the workbook and it just merrily sailing outta the window like it was some kinda smooth aerodynamic plane or smth.

well. after that the girl just sobbed a lil bit more and ms loh yelled a lil bit more and then t'was all over. and when class was over, or during recess or after school the girl went to pick up the book from downstairs and it was all wet and soggy. she let it dry out and the pages got kinda warped, the way paper does when it gets wet and then it dries, and maybe it was a lil muddy too. but she continued her work in the workbook after the incident and ms loh never said a thing, just continued marking the book as tho nothin had happened.

owell. BUT. but she was a good teacher. im not saying she was nice, or that she was a good friend who we could confide in, but she was a good TEACHer. she knew her work, and she's scare you into getting good grades or you'd just kena hantum.

i remember doing really badly or failing a midyear paper or smth, and she really made me sit down and do my work, made sure i did my sums repeatedly during the in-between period(in-between period: the time in between my mid-year paper and my final paper) til i got em right and i understood it all, and it was fuckin tiring, but at the end of the year, i got a 94 for my final exam.

i was so disappointed for my midyear paper, i knew i was a yucky math student but i didnt know i was THAT yucky. but when i got my final year paper results i just sat there, holding my paper and looking at the red mark which said "94/100" and grinning stupidly to myself. and i felt really good abt myself, and abt ms loh. sure she was satan's right-hand *wo*man, but she made me get a 94/ bloody 100 for my final year exam!

it was all good. and when i saw ms loh around school when pri3 was finally over and i was inpri4, and pri5, and pri6, i'd greet her.(you cant say hi, in pri sch that was considered rude.)

well. anyways.

this has been nice, reminiscing and all that. here's a lil story i picked up from my friendster bulletin board so that you'll feel all warm and cuddly and happy instead of horrified and petrified inside from reading my primary school encounters.

here's that sweet, beautiful lil story:

[[An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger
paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint," a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"

The boy looked up, "Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles".]]

aww! doncha just feel like grabbing some random person off the street and hugging them so tight til they both regurgitate and excrete their innards??

listening to: Beautiful Freak by The Eels (how apt, really.)